I'd Like to Go

           “Are you coming tonight?” became a phrase John was used to hearing on Saturday nights from the beautiful woman that lived across the hall. He had turned down her invitation several times before and got to the point of avoiding her when he knew she was coming. John had never been good at talking to girls and Mira was no exception. If anything she made him more nervous than any other girl had before. Not just because of her beauty and her adventurous spirit but she symbolized hope for him. Hope that he could move on from his tragedy and he wasn’t ready for that.

           Elsa was her name. She had been John's longest friend and transitioned into the woman that he shared many of his first with. He thought all his awkward introductions and worries about flirting would be in the past. Elsa had a way of speaking for him, a trait he didn’t mind since he often did everything possible to avoid human interaction. She was adventurous always forcing him to try new things, never anything she knew he would say no to. It was different now that she was gone. He had no interest in doing things, especially things he knew she would love. Going out was one of those things. Elsa loved to dance, no matter where she was, she would find a time to dance. She was daring and unapologetic about it.

           Losing her was the hardest thing John had experienced. It was unexpected, a secret she kept from even him. She was private in her addiction. He denied every possibility of it until he picked up her belongings from the hospital. He found it sewn into her favorite jacket, a self-stitch she had done herself. Stitching he remembered her learning in school together. He remembered because she always forgot to double stitch the ends. It’s why her secret poked out from the side.

           He chose to live in silence after that. No communication outside of the loft he shared with two other friends. Friends that knew everything he did, including that he had a weird connection with the girl across the hall.

           “I saw Mira today,” Tucker told John as he came in with his usual findings at the passing farmers market down the street.

           “You see Mira every day.” Julia pointed out that he came home roughly the same time every day giving him the perfect opportunity to catch Mira on her way out.

           “Yeah, but today she asked about him.” He gestured to John.

           “Surprise, Surprise.” Julia said as she passed John knocking his baseball cap off his head in reaction to the clear smile painted across his face.

           “What are you waiting for?” Tucker asked.

           “Not everyone can be you and Rick. Am I supposed to buy her some fruit or a plant and have her heart?” John was evident of the looks he was getting from his roommates. Pity from Tucker and annoyance from Julia, familiar expressions that he wasn’t in the mood for that day. Before they could share their thoughts matching the expressions, he grabbed his hat and headed out the door.

           He was met with Mira, attempting to re-enter her apartment. He hoped that Julia was right and Mira had headed out for the day, yet here she was. It was too late to turn around. She saw him before he could escape. She saw the panic in his eyes and smiled. She was aware of how nervous she made him and almost took it as an invitation until her door opened suddenly.

           “Door’s stuck again.” A man said from the other side, gazing as Mira continued to stare at John. He was unfazed by their awkward glances and left the door opened and returned presumably to what he was doing. 

           “Avoiding me, John?” Mira asked.

           “Me? Avoid you? No, just busy you know. The life of a piano teacher.” He gestured back toward his apartment as he walked slowly toward her.

           “So many keys to teach…so little time? Maybe you can teach me.’ She took his sudden closeness as an invitation to get closer herself. She enjoyed how awkward she made him, he had no idea what to do around here and it was evident. She circled him waiting for him to answer. His eyes never leaving her but nervous all the same.

           “You want to learn Piano?” He asked.

           “Yes? Is that hard to fathom? A dancer wanting to play the piano?” She smiled as he fidgeted with his pockets.

           “No, I just figured you’d be busy. And the stages you know aren’t big enough for a piano.” He attempted to shape the size of the stage with his hands even gesturing to the pole in the center. She laughed at his inability to say what she did and his idea that they’d allow her to play and dance simultaneously.

           “Not too busy for you John.” She smiled, heading toward his apartment door. He ran ahead of her blocking the entryway.

           “Right now? I thought you had to go somewhere?” He gestured to her apartment door still open.

           “Nope. I don’t work Saturdays, too busy. That’s why I ask you to go out but if you want to stay in and teach.” She smiled looking between him and his apartment door.

           “No No No not in there. My roommates, they’re um weird like will ask you a million questions weird. “ John continued to block the door trying to think of something for them to do or a way to get out of the conversation.

           “Weird? Tucker is a beautiful soul. He buys fruit and plants for his love. Julia is a little weird, she gives me these looks like she could skin me alive. “ She gestured at the ripping of her skin. They laughed at the mutual understanding that Julia can be terrifying.

           “You should see her peal an orange…terrifying.” He laughed.

           “See! I’m not losing it. Come out with me then.” She smiled pulling him in close by his shirt covered in the symbols of his favorite rock band.

           “I don’t know.” He said looking into her brown eyes.

           “Where else were you going, John?” She got unbelievably close, where their faces almost touch. He pulled away slightly, afraid of her, the hope she gave him. It wasn’t until then that between her breast he saw it. He saw the very thing that took Elsa from him, he wanted to scream, to shake sense into her but he only could look into her eyes.

           “I’d like to go.” He smiled taking her hand and following her wherever she led him.