diamond heart.

She had been bruised and broken. Her hopes and dreams shattered on the floor beneath her. 

She had been fighting, holding on to the broken pieces of glass, she once used to call her heart, until they slipped beyond her grip. Blood was running down her fingers but she couldn't feel the source of the pain that caused it. 

Nothing but the ache she felt inside of her chest. Nothing but the hole it had left. 

She had fallen to her knees. The sharp glass was drilling itself into the soft skin around her kneecap, but she wouldn't feel it. 

Nothing but the ache she felt inside of her chest. Nothing but the hole it had left. 

He had taken what had once been her dearest. He had taken everything that she ever had identified with. He had taken her heart. But over all, he had taken his love away from her. 

She felt empty, emptier like she ever thought possible and to her it felt as if there would be nothing to every fill her up the way his love did. 

Tears rolled down her face, leaving traces of salt on her cheeks. She could taste them on her lips, the taste of silent bitterness, mocking her pain. You should have known better. You should have known better than to give your entire trust to somebody that has never been worthy of it. The sound of the words echoed inside of her head but they wouldn't reach the place her heart has once been at. Still she felt nothing. 

Nothing but the ache she felt inside of her chest. Nothing but the hole it had left. 

A diamond heart. Enclosed by her body, it lived inside her chest. Its edges sharp, rough, unpolished. And yet it had formed from human hand, actions, words, memories, that were to never be forgotten. They lived inside its walls, repeating and repeating over and over again, and deep inside they would probably live on forever. She kept them inside of the diamond, build strong walls, to protect her heart, her life from a cruel world, that she had tried her best to exist in, but had fallen so deep that she wasn't sure how to put back the pieces. Her only hope, the only thing that gave her peace at night, was to sweep the pieces, take them up and lock them in a cage, secure it with a lock and never dare open it again. 

But somewhere deep inside of her in the core of an unbreakable precious stone in midst of a colorless walls of pure carbon that made up the cage, a part whose survival she tended to deny, an extinguished flame was drowsing, not yet ready to cease completely and waiting for something, waiting for somebody to break through the walls and set fire to it. 

She didn't need somebody to try to melt the carbon bonds in its crystalline form, as its melting point was too high, but rather somebody who would take the hard material, and polish it, turn it into a beautiful shape and transform it into something special. 

She needed him. 

Him who would take the effort to shape her heart, break the walls and set fire to a flame that she long thought had ceased to exist. Him who would make her see that there was beauty in her flaws, grace in the way her mistakes had left marks on her, and that they inspired her to learn, set her apart from the crowd while combining it. Him who would help her to embrace her scars as a part of herself, as beautiful marks that symbolized a past that may not been easy but that would always be a part of her. 

She needed him to put back together the pieces that she couldn't fix herself and to finally embrace that insecurities were what made her human, that connected her to a world where everyone got hurt, everyone fell down once in a lifetime, and everyone got up and carried on, and that no break was final, no broken heart couldn't be fixed.

And in the end he would be the one to show her that the ultimate goal in life is not to survive but to live.

But as much as she yearned for it to happen, nothing would ever satisfy her. Nothing could ever fill this hole inside of her chest that had been left behind and replaced by a rough stone. In the end, there was no one to find her, build her up and reconstruct her. In reality, she did not need him or anyone else in order to find herself. She needed to go on that journey by herself, prove her worth to herself with confidence and preach that the silence did not make her lonely but rather peaceful with her own presence. She needed to love herself from the inside out, believe that every single edge of her was made perfect just the way it is, and most importantly she had to understand that the truth and the happiness she was looking for could not be found in anybody else except herself. In order to move on, she had to let go of the person she had once been, a dependent on the happiness of others, putting their well-being above her own, and embrace who she was as a person with all the imperfections, all the past, and memories, and pain. She had to understand that they are a part of her and that nobody in this world could ever make her as happy as she could if she lived in peace with who she was. And from this she grew. She grew, and nothing could ever stop her as she finally spread her wings and climbed high towards the clouds. 

“There’s certain things that stay with you, follow you around wherever you go, glued to every single step you take. But the goal is to not let your shadows consume you, but rather embrace their existence as a part of you, since there would be no darkness without light.”