Best Friends - O Yeah

Best Friends – O Yeah!

By Cal Kirby

(This is based on a true story, with some liberties taken to make the author seem more involved with the famous people)

As I finished wiping the chicken salad off Goldie Hawn’s face and saying my lines, “Are you alright, is everything alright?” Norman Jewison, the director, yelled, “Cut!!!”

I was really excited, as this was the first time I actually had lines in the many movies I had been in.

It was in 1982 and it all started with me getting a phone call from my agent from Central Casting, saying “Cal can you be down in Georgetown in the morning at 7am to work in a movie.”

“Sure, what’s the movie?”

Carol responded, “Best Friends with Burt Reynolds and Goldie Hawn.”

I couldn’t wait to tell my boss that I needed the next day off to work in a movie with Burt Reynolds and Goldie Hawn.

Burt had been one of my early favorites on the TV series “Gunsmoke,” as the town blacksmith and in the movie “Deliverance.” And, of course, Goldie Hawn was so memorable for her comedy skits on the TV series, “Laugh-in.” I never did see Burt Reynolds, but was quite close to Goldie.

My boss, Ray, said “That sounds great, but remember we have a big meeting the next day where you have to brief the Director.”

“No problem. My slides are finished and I know the script by heart.” Being an actor for many years, learning a script was no big thing.

Linda was equally excited when I got home and told her the news.

Linda had been putting up with my part time professional acting since we lived in Hawaii and I did 17 episodes of the original “Hawaii 5-0.”

The next morning I got up at 4:30, showered, shaved and put on my best suit and headed for Washington D.C., to the Georgetown Mall.

I met the 2^nd Assistant Director, Greg Palmer, and he told me to go over and wait with the other extras in a courtyard of the mall. There were probably 30 extras waiting to get their big chance to become famous. We all dreamed of that one chance that would spring us into stardom territory. Several of the extras I had previously worked with in other movies were there and we renewed acquaintances.

At one point Wen Phillips, the 1^st Assistant Director, called all the extras to stand around four musicians playing music in the courtyard. I was hoping to see Goldie Hawn or Burt Reynolds, but this seemed to be a scene to set-up what a glorious mall this was and setting a mood that this was a Christmas movie.

After shooting the musician scene, we all sat down and waited. Then Greg Palmer called 12 of the extras over to the escalator to shoot a scene—I wasn’t one of them.

As the rest of us who weren’t selected watched the scene on the escalator unfold, Goldie Hawn and several of the other actors appeared on the escalator and acted like typical Christmas shoppers rushing to buy last minute stocking stuffers.

We took a lunch break after that scene was completed and discussed among ourselves what we thought might be coming up for the rest of the day.

We were all hoping that we would be picked out of the group for a scene where we would actually be seen in the final product. Some of us were selected.

After lunch and about an hour sitting around the waiting area, an empty store that the movie was using as a staging area, Norman Jewison, the director himself, came in and walked around the room looking at all the extras. When he got to me, he said, “Hi Cal. It’s good to see you again.” I was flummoxed that an academy award winning director would remember my name from 3 years before.

I had worked for Mr. Jewison as a stand-in for Jack Warden in the movie “And Justice for All.” I worked five days in the movie and was under the direction of Mr. Jewison most of that time. Again, I couldn’t believe he remembered me.

Mr. Jewison selected about 10 of us extras to go shoot the main scene of the Mall portion of the movie. We were all excited because Goldie was going to be in this scene.

Wen Phillips led the 10 extras into an open café in the middle of the Mall. We were seated at tables around a center table and the center table was where Goldie and her party were going to be seated.

Then, the big excitement happened. Goldie and her group walked in and took seats at their table. I was so excited because I was arm’s length from Goldie.

Norman Jewison walked into the café and went up to Goldie and took her hand. He then turned to me and said. “Cal, this is Ms. Hawn, and Goldie this is Cal.”

I fumbled my words and finally got out, “Hi Ms. Hawn, glad to meet you.” Goldie said, “Call me Goldie, Cal.” She was so nice.

After my getting over the shock of meeting Goldie Hawn, Mr. Jewison gave me and Goldie directions on what was to happen in this scene.

“Goldie, there is going to be a large plate of chicken salad sprinkled with Paprika and you are going to pass out face first into the chicken salad. Make sure your eyes are closed because the Paprika will sting your eyes.”

Then Mr. Jewison turned to me and said, “Cal, when Goldie falls into the salad, Karen, sitting at your table, will scream and you will turn and see what has happened. Then you will go over to Goldie, lift her from the salad and wipe her face with a napkin. Then you will say, “Are you alright, is everything alright?” Then I will say, “Cut!””

We finished the scene on one take and I didn’t flub my lines. I was Gob smacked.

We went back to the holding area and all the other extras were congratulating me for being upgraded and getting lines. They said, “You’re going to be listed in the credits and you’ll get residuals as long as the movie continues to make money.”

I was walking around like a big movie star with my chest puffed out and my nose in the air. Then I came down to earth and realized I had to drive home during rush-hour traffic.

I did earn residuals for about 25 years, and my name was listed in the credits.

Now, here is the rest of the story.

When I got home, I was so excited to tell Linda and our three boys about my exciting day and meeting Goldie Hawn. Linda was so excited for me, the boys not so much.

Several months later, My mother-in-law (MIL), who worked at the University of Maryland, called me up and said. “Cal, there is going to be a showing of your movie “Best Friends” at the University tomorrow before it premieres in the theaters. It’s something special for the film department to be a preview audience. I got us 4 tickets from the head of the drama department.”

“Great. I will be there. What time?"

At 2PM the following day two of my sons and I joined my MIL to see my big premiere as a credited actor. My MIL was almost as excited as I was.

I whispered to her just as the scene was starting. I said, “There I am at the table and there is Goldie Hawn right behind me.” This was so exciting.

The scene developed with Goldie acting woozy and finally she plops face-down in the chicken salad. The scene immediately cuts to an ambulance taking Goldie to the hospital.

I am in shock. “They cut my scene,” I screamed out in the auditorium and all eyes turned toward me. I was so embarrassed.

Somewhere in the archives of Hollywood, there is a snippet of film that I would love to have,

“Mr. Jewison, do you hear me?”