Moving on

Cold wind gushed in as the train door opened.

 She shivered, tightening the scarf around her. People rushed in. This station always was the most crowded. She always counted it as her blessing that she got on the train a stop before. Or else she would have been the one struggling for the seats.

Little things, she smiled at herself.

She sat on the same seat for………….as long as she could remember. Looking through windows always made the time pass quicker.

A whiff of aroma hit her.

She closed her eyes as she took in the fresh morning coffee. That was probably the young college girl, who always had her nose buried in the books, sipping hot coffee. She must have been staring at the girl for a long time, the girl looked up and smiled behind her glasses. She returned the smile.

“Don’t you dare say that, she is my daughter too”, a man standing up was yelling at his mobile.

“Oh, oh don’t even go there”, he tried to control his voice but she could hear his voice tremble. Messy custody battle probably, she thought. “ I need to see my Stella.. I miss her”, his voice mellowed more as he mentioned his daughter’s name. Her heart reached out to that poor man. Losing a child must hurt. She had seen the man before, he sometimes brought his daughter with him, cute blonde with pigtail. She always talked throughout the train ride. Her stories entertained her, some of the school stories even amused her. And she always seemed happy, holding onto her father’s hand as he looked at her beaming proudly. The little girl was quite a storyteller. What kind of person would snatch a child from her parent. She shook her head. She would put him in her prayers tonight.

“Excuse me, excuse me,” she heard a soft voice above her. She looked up, it was Daisy. No, that wasn’t her name, but she smelled like morning fresh air that reminded her of the daisy field she had behind her home growing up. It was a stupid reason to name her that, but somehow daisy suited her, she always had this bright smile about her, soft long wavy brown hair. It reminded her of her younger days. He had the same hair. Her teenage years seem to be a long time back. Daisy had a baby on her hip. A cute boy, little over one. She knew Daisy had been using the same train for a long time, always sat beside her. Even in that much of a crowd she always found a seat beside her.

Daisy sat down as she cooed at her baby. The cutest baby with the sharpest blue eyes she had ever seen. This one would sure be a heartbreaker as he grows. The man in front of her put on the radio. It was 9:00. Mr. Radio was always there before her and always switched on the radio at nine, he would listen to the news as he read the newspaper.

“A body of a young woman was found at the Newark Plank Road-“

That was her station. Oh, how horrible. She felt horrible, she always walked the street before getting on the train and now someone was dead.

“Road. The body is yet to be identified.”

The body. That felt cold. How someone who once breathed, laughed, lived now lay dead and was identified. A chill went down her spine. She just felt sorry for her, lying alone and cold.  

***

The train was busy as always, people rushed in and out of stops. It had been over two weeks since she had heard about the woman from Newark Plank road.

“The woman found on the 25th on the Newark Plank Road under the construction site has been yet to be identified. According to the forensic department, the body is said to be of a woman in her early thirties. According to the decomposition the woman is thought to be dead over twenty years ago. Facial mapping has been done, possible images have been sent to the newspaper. The police authorities have requested its citizens to inform if there is any information about her.

Tsk. Tsk.

Just imagining the woman’s remains in the cold morgue was upsetting. She hoped someone would claim her, give closure to the woman. Poor soul, twenty years, and no one knew where she was. It is just so saddening how someone could be lost for twenty years. Didn’t she have anyone who missed her? Did someone try to find her?

“Hey there Stella”, the man’s voice broke her thoughts. She looked up. He looked happy. ”yes I will be there at your recital. Cant be missing my girl’s big day.”

She was glad things worked out for him. She hoped things between him and his wife smoothened out. She hoped he would bring her over to the train. She missed the little girl’s stories.

She frowned. Daisy didn’t come today, did she? She craned her neck, hoping to catch glimpse of her. No, nowhere to be seen. She must be sick. Oh, how she hoped everything was okay. She wanted to see that little chipmunk of hers.

   ***

Another two weeks went by. The train journey was the same. The same crowd got on and off the same stops. The cherry had started blossoming on the orchard in front of the red-bricked house. Stella came with her father once. She lit the whole compartment with her stories. The college girl was now sipping on the coffee, no longer studying. She had her eyes close, head leaning back, slightly nodding to the music that blasted from her headphones. The semester must be over. Still no Daisy. The last time Daisy hadn’t been on the train for a long time was when she had the baby.

“Excuse me”, a man said, sitting beside her. He leaned back on the seat, taking out his phone. She craned her neck just a little, so she could see what he was watching without seeming too rude.

“ The victim that was found on the Newark Plank Road has been identified. The woman had been murdered 20 years ago. The body was found under the foundation, dug up during the process of demolition of the mall. She was married, with two children, a daughter aged 10 and a son aged 5, at the time of disappearance. The search had been halted by her husband who claimed that she may have eloped with her lover. Sensing no foul play, the police closed the case. The woman Savannah Jones-“

Savannah Jones.

That name sounded familiar. That sounded just like her name Sa-

Sudden panic took over her. Her chest tightened, breathing quickened. She felt sweat trickling down from her temple. Her head started to buzz, the vision started to blur.

What was her name? Why couldn’t she remember her name? She got on from the station number…

Her breathing quickened. From where did she got on the train? What was her stop? Why was my mind blank?  

“Savanna Jones’ body has been claimed by her children, daughter Hailey Jones Parker and son Deacon Jones. They will be having a funeral for their mother, attended by a very small group of people”. Two photos popped on the screen. She looked at them closely, her heart sank. It was Daisy. Daisy was Hailey.

Next to her was a photo of a young woman in her thirties, smiling back at her. Her eyes stared at her telling her something. She froze. She turned her head towards the window. She saw her reflection. She slowly raised her hand touching her face. The woman from the video stared back at her.

She was Savannah Jones.

          ***

It was mid of December. Savannah tightened the purple scarf around her. She was running late. She had to catch the train before she missed it. Her mother was staying until New Years', so she didn’t have to worry about keeping nannies up late. She passed a big construction site. She shook her head, sighing. Her husband- ex-husband, worked the construction. She scurried past the half-erect building. This may be a great mall in a few years. She could bring her children next Christmas, and let them buy whatever they wanted. The divorce hit them hard. It’s been six months since she signed off the divorce papers. And good riddance. Henry had been drinking like a fish for the past year. He had been lashing out at their children. He hit her once when she told him she had enough. He backhanded her, knocking off the wind. That’s when she knew she had enough. She knew her children would be his next punching bag. And there was no way she was going to let that drunken fool hurt her kids. She called the police, kicked him out of the house, got a restraining order, and filed for divorce. She wasn’t going to wait for the situation to worsen. Well, the kids were settling on, happy even. It was just them and her against the world. And she loved those two babies.

“Savannah”. 

Oh no. She looked around her. It was dark, and no one was in sight. She swallowed hard, slowly turning behind.

It was Henry pointing a gun at her. She froze. 

“Henry”, she said barely above a whisper.

“You have no right to take my children away from me”, he shouted, voice slurred. He was drinking, He swayed a little, off-balance. 

“Henry, we can talk about this in the morning, when you are sober”, she tried to sound as calm as she could. She took a step back. Slowly. She prayed someone would walk by them. She wasn’t going to die today, leaving her children behind.

“Don’t walk out on me”, he cut her as he lunged towards her, still pointing the gun at her. “Don’t you dare walk out on me”.

“Henry, you are scaring me. Please the kids are waiting for me-“

“Those are my children too. And you cant keep them away from me-”

Bang.

She fell to the ground. Then the pain hit her. Sharp pain on her shoulder. She blinked few times, trying to get up, and away. She was yanked back.

“Noooooo.” 

Henry was pulling her from the hair. She tried to get away, but couldn’t. He was too strong for her, even when he was drunk. He tried to claw his hand off her. She was then pushed inside a ditch. She tried to look around her, it was too dark. She struggled to get up, She needed to climb up, from whatever this ditch was. Loud engine sound filled the air. She looked up, she could make out the outline.

Oh, no no-no. Ignoring the searing pain, she tried to get climb out. Metals clanked. 

She was now desperately trying to get out, she heard the cement pouring in. This was not the way she was going out. Christmas was in 10 days. She had bought her children the presents they wanted and stacked them up in the attic. She didn’t want Hailey snooping around for the present. She needed to be there for her children. She could feel the cement layer rising, knee-high. Her legs were getting heavy. She was tired. The cement was up to her waist. 

Maybe this was it. She stopped trying to get out. She knew she would never get out alive. She would never see her babies grow. She would never be able to help Hailey dress up for prom. She won't be there on the side bench cheering Deacon as he played football. She wouldn’t be there for her children's graduation. She won't see Hailey walking down the aisle. She –

She choked up, tears swarming down her eyes. Before she knew anything, a loud wail escaped her throat. She cried, calling for help. Calling God. 

She wasn’t ready to die. Not yet. Lord, please, she cried. 

Cement was now up to her chest. 

She cried, wishing upon a miracle to happen.

She cried till she was swallowed up whole by the sludge.

                          ***

Memories started to wash down her. She cried. She wailed. Tears flowing down. She felt the suffocation from the cement. She felt the dread washing all over her. She cried till her tears dried out. People around her didn’t notice her. They walked right past her, not noticing her.

                           ***

She calmed down. She had been dead for the past twenty years. She had been traveling the same train, the same train that she was supposed to catch on twenty years ago. She had been waiting for a long time for answers. Now that she was going to have a funeral, she was at peace. She was ready to leave the Earthly ground. She saw Hailey and her grandbaby. She smiled at the thought of her baby all grown up. She wondered what happened to Henry. Who raised her babies. She wanted to see Deacon one last time Before she moved on.

The crowd on the train started to thin out. She leaned her head on the windowpane. Looking out. It was beautiful. The cherry trees on the side lane had blossomed. Beautiful shade of pink and white. The color of the blush.

So peaceful, telling her it was time to move on.