Sunflowers and Ashes

Monday, July 13th 

2:07 AM 

The entire treehouse was ablaze. And all I could do was watch in silence as tendrils of flames poked through the windows, hungrily licking up the the roof with the peeling red paint and the creaky plywood floor that we used to stomp around on just to hear the resounding echoes. Most importantly, I thought back to the picture of Sara in the corner, along with the sunflowers we’d so carefully arranged around it. My entire childhood was up in flames. 

The grass was damp on my bare feet as I made my way back to the house, the screen door slamming shut behind me. I now had to act fast. Head spinning, I snatched up my phone and dialed Mel’s number with shaky fingers. As I waited for her to pick up, I prepared myself, silently mouthing the words I was about to say. 

“God, what is it now? It’s 2 o’clock in the morning, Tess! Couldn’t this wait?” Mel’s drowsy voice answered, her words slurring together. Had she been drinking? 

“It’s the treehouse. It’s…on fire!” I choked out, tears threatening to surface. 

“What do you mean, ‘on fire?’” 

“It’s ablaze. In flames. Disintegrating as we speak!” I shouted, desperation seeping into every syllable. 

There was a pause on Mel’s end. “Oh, gosh,” she finally murmured. “What do you think happened?”

“I don’t know. Maybe one of the candles was still lit, and a stray spark hit one of the dried sunflowers or something.” 

“God, and to think of all the hours we spent together in that treehouse…All three of us.” 

“I know,” I replied, silently recalling the meeting that had taken place the day before… 

Sunday, July 12th

3:25 PM  

Balancing a small tray with two glasses of iced tea, I could feel the skin on my arms slowly baking to a crisp in the mid-July heat. “Mel, will you help me take these up?” 

“Sure,” Mel replied, taking one of the glasses. Proceeding to gingerly make our way up the ladder in complete silence, I gripped the slippery glass tighter, listening to the sound of the ice cubes clanging against one another.

The moment I crossed the threshold, chills ran up my spine as the air around me became thicker and more stale. Almost as if I were entering a church. We set the glasses down on the floor, and I gazed around the room, wiping the condensation off my hands. A moment of silence passed before I opened my mouth to speak. But nothing came out. 

Finally, Mel spoke. “Well, Sara. Here we are. You didn’t expect us to come back to this old treehouse, did you? After all these years…I—I ju—just…wish you could be h—here with us, and—” Her voice broke, and she collapsed in a heap onto the wooden floor, reaching out to stroke the gilded frame housing Sara’s picture while I looked on, unsure of whether to laugh or cry. 

In my mind, I thought Mel looked absolutely ridiculous. But then again, Mel had always been like that from the moment she first lay eyes on Sara in the second grade. I mean, who could have blamed her? 

“Tess…Tess!” Mel’s voice jolted me from my thoughts, and I turned to look at her tearful expression. “Are you okay? Do you want to sit down?” 

“I—I’m fine,” I muttered a little too quickly, pausing to sip my iced tea. God, I really need to get my head out of my ass. My friend just died, and I can’t even manage to put my feelings aside for that? 

I lowered myself onto the plywood floor, stretching my legs out until my feet almost touched the wall—a position which Mel also adopted beside me. “So,” Mel sighed, “How’ve you been holding up? Have you been crying a lot, too?” 

Her question took me by surprise, and I had to stop and think. When was the last time I’d cried? Maybe a month ago? Suddenly realizing that I hadn’t shed a single tear since Sara’s passing, my face flushed red with embarrassment. “Yeah, I’ve cried some,” I lied, turning my head away so Mel couldn’t see my expression. “Honestly, it’s been tough. One minute I feel one thing, the next minute I feel something completely different. Most of the time, I don’t even know how to feel!” 

“Well, I know exactly how you’re feeling,” Mel declared. She inched herself closer to me until we were almost touching, and she reached over to place a comforting hand on my knee.  

“You do?” I asked, relief washing over me. 

“Definitely! I mean, Sara was sick a super looong time, you know? And although I hate to admit it, there were times when I almost wished she’d pass. Seeing her every week like that…I don’t know…It was really painful. So when she died—even though I was really sad—I also felt a small sense of relief. But, you know what? That’s completely okay, and you have absolutely no reason to feel bad about it!” 

Relief dissipating, I took another gulp of my drink. “You know, you’re wiser than I gave you credit for, Mel,” I said behind a strained smile. Exhaling, I turned back to gaze at Sara’s picture. It was her photo from senior year and one of the only recent ones I had of her. In front of a rolling field of sunflowers, she was smiling her megawatt smile, one of her long, tan arms dangling gracefully at her side while the other reached up to touch her perfectly coiffed, golden curls. 

“It’s funny how quickly time passes,” Mel remarked. “Seems like only yesterday when that photo was taken.” 

“It’s hard to believe,” I murmured, silently recalling the two hours I had to drive to get to that field so we could meet up with the photographer. “It was a long drive, wasn’t it?”

“It was,” Mel agreed. “But, you know how much Sara loved sunflowers.” 

“Yeah, I know.” 

“Ha, by the end of it, I think the photographer was even falling in love with her!” Mel chuckled.

“Why does that not surprise me?” I laughed bitterly, as I remembered the hundreds of snaps the photographer had taken of her that day. As usual, Sara had been the center of attention.

“By the way, Tess, do you still have your photo?” 

I paused to think for a moment—even though I knew I’d thrown it away years ago. It had been an ugly picture, taken in a hurry so the photographer could return his focus to the most photogenic member of our group. “You know, I can’t seem to find it,” I finally answered, furrowing my brows in mock concern. “I must have put it up in the attic or something.” 

“I see. Hey, do you think when you get the chance, you could find it? I wanna put it in a commemorative collage I’m making.”

I wanted to roll my eyes, but instead, plastered a fake smile on my face. “Yeah, of course! And definitely let me know how it turns out!”

“For sure,” Mel replied, as I took a final gulp of my iced tea, draining it dry. She looked up at the ceiling, and I noticed her eyes were wet. “Well, I guess it’s just the two of us now. But the three of us…we really did have some good times together.” 

“We really did,” I agreed softly. Times I’d like to forget. 

“Well, I gotta start making the kids dinner,” Mel said suddenly, heaving herself off the floor. “But this was nice…We should do this again sometime!” 

“You’ll call me later tonight, won’t you?” 

“Definitely.” Mel smiled. “And don’t forget to put out the candles!” 

As Mel got into her car and drove away, I quietly headed back towards the empty house and popped open a can of beer. Savoring its bitter taste, I tried to watch the news, periodically glancing at the lighter on the table as I waited for Mel’s call. She never did call back.