The Radius Between Us

Clanging metal woke her from a dreamless sleep. Forcing her eyes open, she saw wood paneled walled and red velvet curtains with gold tassels adorning the window next to her. Snow-capped mountains in the distance steadily marched past.

A small dinette table was in front of her, another plush seat facing her, empty. A lamp with a false flickering flame illuminated her space everytime shadows passed her window. The clangs got louder as they entered a tunnel, darkness falling for at least a minute before they entered daylight yet again. 

“Would you like a beverage?” A steward appeared at her elbow, thin mustache, dark hair slicked back, and a proper suit, red jacket with black lapels.

“Jesus Christ!” She pressed back against the window, away from this stranger, her heart pounding out of her chest.

He raised a placating hand. “My apologies, Ms. Turner, I by no means meant to startle you.” 

His voice was soothing. British, she thought. “Why am I here? Where is here? Who are you?”

A polite smile crossed his face. “Ah yes, I do understand your confusion, please allow me to explain, but first would you like a beverage? Anything to eat?”

She blinked several times trying to clear the fog from her brain. “Water,” she croaked. “A lot of water.”

“Sparkling or still?”

Pressing the heels of her hands into her sore eyes, she ground out, “I don’t care, bring me water.”

“Certainly, of course, will be right with you. And I believe we’re currently in Switzerland.”

He was gone when she opened her eyes again. She pressed her nose against the cool glass, trying desperately to remember booking a trip that she must have forgotten about.

The steward returned, placing two tall glasses of water, one sparkling, one still, with a pitcher of iced water for refills. 

Good service, at least.

Before she could blink he was gone, and another man took his place. His wide shoulders filled the seat opposite her when he sat down. His dark pinstriped suit contrasted with his bright white shirt, red satin pocket square matching his bow tie. He clasped his large hands together on the table between them.

“Welcome to the Orbis, Ms. Adeline Turner, I presume?” He reached out a hand for her to shake, his voice thickly Southern, genteel and friendly.

“Uh, it’s Addie, usually.” His hand engulfed hers.

“Addie it is, then. I myself am Stockton Sinclair, but everyone here just calls me Sinclair.”

“Right. Sinclair.” Addie took several large gulps. She waved at him. “You seem important. Can you, uh, get me off this train that I definitely do not want to be on? I have somewhere I need to be.” Racking her brain, Addie couldn’t remember where she needed to be right now, but she was sure it wasn’t here.

“I’m terribly sorry, but that I cannot do.” Reaching into a black leather satchel, he pulled out several sheets of paper, placing them in front of her.

They were peppered with legalese jargon. “What’s this?”

“That, Ms. Turner, is your signature on a contract, legally binding of course.”

Fingers shaking, Addie picked up the first page. “I didn’t…” Her eyes traced down the page. “I did not sign this, I assure you.”

“I assure you, you did. I was there, handed you my favorite fountain pen, you were very impressed by it.” His smile was kind, eyes gentle and reassuring.

“I don’t understand. How…”

“As you can see in paragraph two, addendum three, it says…”

“Yes I can read, thank you.” Addie’s voice sharpened with annoyance.

“Then you can see for yourself, you consented to an all expenses paid trip on the Orbis, with no opportunity to leave until the conditions are fulfilled.” He pointed to page two of the contract.

“What conditions? Am I about to be murdered?”

He barked out a laugh. “Oh, heavens no. Though I do recognize how the words train will neither decrease in speed nor allow passengers to depart is unnecessarily sinister. I have spoken with management and we do plan on making that sound slightly less alarming.”

“What exactly is the program?”

“I am so glad you asked.” He waved a hand and the steward brought champagne and chocolate cake for each of them. “You are here to find your soulmate, Ms. Turner.”

“My what?” 

Ignoring her, Sinclair spoke to the steward. “Thank you kindly, Stewart, feel free to go on break now.”

She held up a finger. “Wait a second. His name is Stewart? The steward.”

Sinclair partially covered his mouth and whispered, “Best not to tease him about it, he’s sensitive.”

Addie’s mind whirred. “I would not, under any circumstances, sign up to find my soulmate on a runaway train. I hate people.” She mumbled the last bit.

“Soulmate is a bit hyperbolic, I suppose. You really are here to find someone to connect with romantically and consensually.”

“Whatever, I would not sign up for any of that.”

He took a bit of cake, then used the fork to point at the contract. “I can confirm, you did that exact thing. Please, enjoy your cake.”

“Fuck the cake.”

“There’s no need for that kind of language, Ms. Turner.”

Addie rubbed at her temples. “Why can’t I remember any of this?”

Sinclair reached for page three. “As you can see in paragraph…”

Addie slapped the paper out of his hand. “Just tell me in very simple language.”

Taking his last bite of cake, he wiped crumbs from his mouth before clasping his hands once again. “In the simplest terms, you requested an opportunity to find a connection, without any emotional baggage from previous relationships. So we removed the baggage.”

“My baggage? What does that mean exactly?” Her head was starting to throb.

“Your past relationships. We blocked them out for the duration of your stay here.”

Furrowing her brow, Addie said, “You mean my memories. But, I remember my whole life, growing up, my family, I don’t…”

Sinclair held up a hand. “We would never erase your whole life, fear not, Ms. Turner.”

“Just chunks of it then.” Addie couldn’t keep the frustration from her voice.

“As per your request, yes, chunks.” 

Addie slapped her hands onto the table. “This can’t be legal.”

“You are welcome to sue us to your heart’s content once you leave the train.”

“You mean the train I am currently a prisoner on until I get a date?”

His smile was joyful. “Yes! I’m so glad we’re on the same page.” Clapping his hands together, he stood, clinked his champagne onto the glass she hadn’t touched, and drank it down. “Welcome to the Orbis, Ms. Turner. Rest up, your adventure starts bright and early tomorrow morning.” 

Alone once again, Addie pushed her cake away and huffed, “Fuck.”

***

The next morning Addie put on her favorite gray silk blouse and dark slacks and assessed her hair in the cramped compartment’s small mirror. Sighing, she pulled it up into a messy bun, hoping it came across as stylish instead of lazy.

“This is fucking stupid.” She stared at her reflection, narrowed blue eyes glaring back. 

She finished getting ready and headed to the dining car for breakfast, where a man and woman sat at separate tables, both sending her effervescent, perfect smiles. 

Addie grabbed Stewart by the arm as he passed by with an empty tray. 

“What is this, speed dating?” She whispered harshly.

He glanced toward the other guests. “Sort of, though the third person is quite delayed. You’ll be catching up with them later, I presume.”

Addie grimaced and he nudged her. 

“Chin up, I’m sure they’re all lovely.”

His wink didn’t settle the churning in her stomach.

She flipped a coin in her mind and settled on the man first. Alan Michaels, he’d said. He worked on wall street, wore a very smug grin, and he didn’t ask her a single question about herself. Thirty minutes hearing about bearer bonds, and aggressive finance strategies, and Addie was fully prepared to launch herself straight out of their window.

A bell sounded and they said their goodbyes, him promising to see her again, her shaking her head with a firm, “No thank you.”

Addie stood and moved to the second table, where a gorgeous woman sat. Sparkling eyes and lustrous dark hair framed a smirking face. She held out her hand and Addie took it. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all, Addie thought.

“Anastasia Lawson.”

“I’m Addie…”

She couldn’t finish her sentence before Anastasia began berating Stewart for bringing them coffee. 

“Excuse me, but I’ll tell you when I want you at this table.” She glared at him until he turned tail and scurried away, her face the picture of friendly grace when it turned back to Addie.

Nevermind.

Another painful thirty minutes passed and the bell sounded. Addie leapt up to return to her solitude. She found herself napping the afternoon away, waking only when Stewart shook her shoulder lightly. She had a crick in her neck and drool on her chin, which she sheepishly wiped away.

“It’s time for dinner, Ms. Turner. I believe you will find something to your liking on the menu.” A quick wink and he was gone, after surreptitiously leaving a mint on the seat next to her. 

Thankful for his thoughtfulness, she grabbed it before using the darkened car window to try and fix her hair in the reflection. Rolling her eyes, she popped the mint and headed into her next torturous endeavor.

***

Addie’s next date was late. Although incredibly rude, she couldn’t help but be grateful for a reprieve from the false niceties of endless blind dates. She was already halfway through her delicious chicken parmesan, and eying her book at the end of the table, when a flustered woman in a black tank top and jeans fell into the opposite seat. She was petite. Pretty. And blowing uncontrollable red curls out of her face before tucking chunks of it behind her ears with a sheepish smile. 

“I’m so sorry I’m late.”

Addie shrugged and kept eating. “No worries, this chicken has been great company.”

“Holy shit that smells amazing.” She covered her mouth, eyes wide with embarrassment. “Dammit, I told myself I wouldn’t cuss yet. Fuck, I did it again.” 

Oh no. She’s adorable. And a redhead. An adorable redhead.

Addie shook herself a bit before answering. “Don’t fucking cuss in front of me, please.”

The woman let out a guffaw. “Oh thank god, you’re normal. Hi, Sophie Davis, at your service.”

Sophie had calluses on several fingers. When they gently scraped against her palm, Addie felt tingles travel up her arm.

Dammit. 

Addie introduced herself and forgot about her meal entirely when she became trapped in Sophie’s kind eyes. 

Sophie glanced to the left briefly before bracing her chin in her hand, her attention laser focused on Addie. “You brought a book. On a date. You’re a reader.”

Pushing her plate to the side, Addie braced her elbows onto the table, drawn into this woman’s magnetism. “I am, voraciously so.” 

A playful grin lit up Sophie’s eyes.  “What’s that one about?”

“Honestly, I don’t even know. It’s got so much time travel in it I have no clue when what is happening to who.”

“Oh no, you need graphs for that.”

“Yeah, and I don’t want to make graphs. I want to escape.”

Sophie tilted her head. “If you could escape into a book, what kind would you choose?”

Addie glanced out the window, slightly flustered. “That’s actually a great question, I have no idea. I’d like to say fantasy, that I’d want an adventure. But in my heart I know I’d probably pick something boring like Jane Eyre just for the countryside.”

Sophie grinned. “Honestly I’m probably the same. I’d take a nice lake over dragons any day. Besides, I’m clumsy, I’d probably just fall off a tower if I tried to go somewhere otherworldly.”

“I expected you to ask me something boring like what do you do for a living.”

Sophie shrugged, “That’s what you do, it’s not who you are. I’d rather know what your favorite dinosaur is.” 

“Pterodactyl, because flying.”

“Triceratops, because spikey grazer.” Sophie pointed at herself. “Vegetarian.”

Addie slowly and dramatically covered her chicken with a napkin, making Sophie bark out another laugh. 

“Don’t worry, I’m not the rabid kind.”

“Good to know.” 

Before Addie knew it, the bell was signaling the end of their date. Her heart dropped at the thought of leaving. 

That is, until Sophie leaned in close and whispered, “Wanna go get a drink?”

Addie didn’t hesitate. “Absolutely.”

***

The next day was a marathon of Sophie. They shared in-depth discussions about their childhoods over mimosas at brunch. In the afternoon, they read snippets from their favorite poems in the library.  Dinner by candlelight was filled with subtle touches: the glance of an ankle, the tickle of an inner wrist. The space between them disappeared until thighs and shoulders pressed together, fingers entwined with gazes that seemed to go on forever.

Addie didn’t want the day to end, stretching it out with just one more soft kiss at her sleeping compartment door, foreheads pressed together, contented sighs mixing. 

“I like you.” She said, tracing Sophie’s jawline, down her throat, to a spot where her pulse quickened.

Smiling against her lips, Sophie whispered, “I like you too.”

Addie jumped out of bed the next day, anxious to find her, to see what today held in store for them. Heart racing, she readied herself in record time, her cheeks hurting from her constant grin. Stopping at the mirror for a quick glance, she couldn’t ignore the sparkle in her eye, the flush on her neck. Addie couldn’t remember the last time she’d looked so happy.

Taking a deep breath, she added a touch of lip gloss, ran her fingers through her hair. Addie threw the door open, only to find Stockton Sinclair filling the hallway with his strapping frame. Pulled up short, Addie gasped, hand to her throat. “You scared the shit out of me.”

Sinclair bowed slightly, eyes crinkled with a wicked grin. “My apologies, but I do have an important matter for you, if you would please accept this.” He handed her a cream envelope, Adeline Turner embossed in gold on the front.

“What’s this?” Understandably suspicious, she narrowed her eyes at him, tapping the edge of the envelope against her palm.

“You have a match, Ms. Turner. I am here to request your signature if that match is to your liking.”

Eyes dropping to the envelope, Addie’s stomach filled with butterflies. A moment of nervous anticipation passed and she was ripping it open, unfolding the thick paper, eyes hungrily scanning the precise calligraphy.

Sophie Davis humbly requests your acceptance as preferred suitor. In the event of your compliance, please sign and date this agreement. Doing so will terminate your program on the Orbis, as stated in addendum three, paragraph…

“Give me your pen.” Addie wasted no time grabbing his fountain pen and turning him to use his back as a writing table. Lightheaded, her heart pounded, blood racing as her breathing quickened. 

Sinclair turned back and took the envelope between his palms, graciously bowing to her. “If you could pack your things, you may disembark immediately. Ms. Davis will await you at the station.” He snapped his heels together and was gone. 

Addie rushed back into her compartment and packed her bag, hurrying toward the dining car as the station approached. She couldn’t get there fast enough. To where Sophie would be.

The train slowed to a stop, clacking wheels and a loud horn announcing their arrival. Gripping the handle on her suitcase tighter, a wave of nervous anticipation consumed her. What if this doesn’t work out? What if I do something and she hates me tomorrow? What if… What if… What if…

Steeling herself, her shoulders stiffened with determination. Sinclair stepped out of the car’s connecting door and waved her forward. “Are you ready, Ms. Turner?”

Clenching her teeth, Addie nodded briskly, and followed. 

Stepping over the gap and onto the cracked wood of the platform, Addie wavered on unsteady legs, as memories bombarded her. A drunken night in college. A woman. Soft hands and softer lips. Dates in the park. Meeting her parents. Saying I love you for the first time. A wedding at the Justice of the Peace. Kissing each other before they even completed their vows, incapable of waiting another second. 

And then, a home, a dog. Arguments over money. Accusations. Tiny betrayals culminating into a chasm between them. Nights spent alone, crying herself to sleep. The agony of a lost love brought Addie to her knees, sobs overtaking her, making it hard to breathe. 

A whispered voice, “Addie?”

Looking up, there stood her wife. Sophie. Her pale hand covering her mouth as tears tracked down her face, splotchy and red from crying. Sophie always claimed to be an ugly crier. But to Addie, she was never more beautiful. 

Standing on weak legs, Addie stepped closer, reaching out with a hesitance that wouldn’t have existed ten minutes ago. “It’s you. It’s still you.” It will always be you. Wiping away Sophie’s tears, Addie tugged her wife to her, kissing her inner wrist. Sophie shivered. 

Bringing their foreheads together, they sobbed each other’s names, gripping each other as close as possible, fingers digging into lower backs. 

Sophie bit her bottom lip. Addie traced the familiar movement with a tentative thumb. 

“What does this mean?” Sophie’s voice cracked with fear, perhaps some hope.

Addie swallowed past the lump in her throat. “It means whatever we want it to mean.”

Blinking away tears, Sophie scratched at the hairs on the back of Addie’s neck. “I want it to mean we try.”

Addie squeezed her eyes tightly closed, opening them again to make sure this wasn’t a dream. That they were still here. Together. “Please. Please, let’s try.”