Clouds Above Love

"Why did we left each other's embrace? Was my effort to hold on to our relationship isn't enough?"

The look on her face crumbled and her eyes were like dark clouds starting to shadow her glistening gazes. She glanced at me for a while and then stared at the night sky. I want to fix her hair that is being blown by the wind. I want to caress her cheek and gently kiss her forehead.

From staring at the dark murky sky, she diverted her gaze into her lap. "I tried..." I whispered, trying to find the right words, "I tried to stop you from leaving me without any warning, without any answers to my questions."

I can hear her trembling breaths every time she heard my wounded words. I gulped before continuing, "Now that you are here. Now that I found you again. Will you answer my question?"

She did not look at me, she kept avoiding my eyes. "Why, Iris?" I begged but she did not answer. "Iris," I called her, "Look at me, please..."

She looked at me and softly mumbled the words, "I d-don't... I don't know."

When she said those words, I couldn't look at her any longer, so I hung my head and lay my eyes on the grasses beneath our feet. I saw her hand which is giving me a nostalgic feeling of the time where I was always holding her hand to the point where it was so hard to let go.

"Who was I to you before?" I asked after heaving a deep sigh, expecting an answer to shovel out this heavy burden inside my chest.

"Words aren't enough, Leo, it will never be enough to tell you how I love you so much." Her voice is cracking while she's trying to control her tears falling from her gloomy eyes. She kept biting her pale pink lip while avoiding my gaze.

"Love?" I stated and sharply inhaled, "Please, Iris, don't make a fool of me --"

"I am not, Leo..." she argued and held my hands. Her hands are cold and her eyes are starting to cry like clouds that couldn't hold back its rain from falling.

I stared at her face -- trembling lips and tears sliding down from her cheeks -- I stoked hair back away from her face.

"Tell me, if you do love me..." I caressed her cheek and squeezed her hands tightly. "Why did you leave me for one year without any words and explanations?" I asked, "I thought you were dead, Iris..."

She cried louder when I let out that statement. My sight became blurry and my throat tightened that made it hard for me to speak. My voice is cracking as I continue, "I was lost, Iris, I was wounded and lost..."

She sniffled and cleared her throat, "I was... I was gone because..." She did not complete her sentence and cried again. I pulled her head close to my chest and hugged her tightly. I can still hear muffled sobbing and sniffling.

She moved her head away and gasped for courage, "I was pregnant, Leo, I was pregnant and I couldn't tell you that."

I stopped breathing. I washed my face with my hand and stroked my hair. I moved backward with my palm covering my mouth. I sharply inhaled some air and asked, "Who? Who was the father?"

She cried again and answered with her trembling lips, "Damian. It was Damian. We were drunk, Leo, it was an accident..."

I sighed out the grief I was feeling inside and wiped my eyes. I gulped many times and damped my lips. I looked at her who is sobbing relentlessly.

I went closer to her and opened my arms. She quickly wrapped her arms around me and cried louder. "I am sorry, I am so sorry..." she said.

We let our emotions out until we are as calm as the wind. We waited 'til our tears are gone and faces are still. I closed my eyes and heaved a relieved sigh.

"Damian," she uttered that made me open my eyes and look at her, "He told me that he will support me if I go with him."

She rubbed her shoulders and I clenched my fist when I heard that Damian, my friend, did this to her and me. Damian knew I love Iris so much.

"I have nothing, Leo, my parents are old and I couldn't depend on them. It's embarrassing to ask for my siblings and I could never approach you."

"You could, Iris, I will always accept you no matter what."

"But what about the child? He needs his biological father..." she said while looking at me like she had no choice at that time, "I followed him, and then I thought he would fulfill his words and that he will take care of us."

"He left you?" I whispered.

She nodded and sighed. It was a long silence between us and the night. A thought came across my mind. 

"I will marry you," I blurted out and her brows folded. She shook her head and replied, "No, Leo, if you are doing this because you pity me then don't do it--"

"I am doing this because I still love you. Iris..." I called and pulled out the necklace I am wearing.

"Leo..." she whispered.

I showed her my necklace with a ring hanging on it. "I was supposedly going to do this on your birthday but you left without a word."

She pressed her hand unto her lips. "And now that you are here, I won't let you go."

I bent my left knee and it touched the ground. I looked at her, giving her my widest smile. I unhooked the necklace and unwrapped it around my neck. I took a deep breath before asking her.

"Will you be the person who will stay with me until death part us? Will you accept me as I accept you in my life? Will you, Iris Heart..." I paused and removed the ring from the necklace, "Will you marry me?"

She closed her eyes and inhaled. She bent both her knees and looked at me. Both of us are kneeling on the ground while facing each other.

"I promise to stay with you unless death will come and separate us. I will accept you in my life as you have accepted me in your life. I can not give you a ring but I can give you my faithful love."

She stared straight into my eyes and kissed my cheek. She accepted the ring and wore it.

"Will you marry me too?" she asked and smiled at me. I nodded and kissed her forehead.