You Have Power Here

Submitted into Contest #96 in response to: Write about someone welcoming a stranger into their home.... view prompt

6 comments

Suspense Fantasy

Elise’s grandmother was taking far too much time to leave.

The old woman was short and hunched, but the stubbornness of her youth had never faded or bent. She was preparing for a trip to another town, having heard of a special plant that could provide protection and flavor. Two birds with one stone, or so the saying goes.

Elise had inherited some of her grandmother’s stubbornness, though the old woman always swore that the child was naïve as well, which gave her a significant disadvantage in life.

However, this night, Elise had a plan. She wanted her grandmother to leave for the night because she could finally have the whole house to herself. She could slide down the stair railing, explore the attic, and eat the sweets she had gathered from other children at the schoolhouse. These were all activities that her grandmother had never allowed her to do. If Elise was a more obedient child, she would have accepted the rules without question.

Elise was not an obedient child.

She always questioned her grandmother’s rules. Other children slide down the railing, the attic couldn’t possibly be dangerous, and candy…Well, candy rots teeth, but that was beside the point. What is a little indulgence every once and awhile?

Finally, Elise’s grandmother had her bags packed and ready at the door. The driver would arrive at any moment, but she hesitated. Turning to her granddaughter, her face became still and serious.

“Ellie, you know I worry about you,” she reached out a hand to stroke Elise’s small, freckled face. “I have never left you alone before. If I could afford a trip for two, I would bring you with me, but I’m ready to trust you now. Just remember: we need protection because there is something we need to protect ourselves from. There are predators in this world, Ellie—people who would want to hurt you. Should they come here, knocking or yelling at the door, you must stand your ground. This is our place. You have power here.”

Elise’s grandmother gave her one more pat on the head before leaving. The child stood there, watching her grandmother go and thinking of the warning she had given. Why had she been so serious? Yes, there were dangerous people in the world, but Elise wasn’t going to leave the house. Old women could be so superstitious.

“I’m not that naïve, Grandmother,” Elise thought aloud. She wanted to enjoy the time she had alone, not worry about her grandmother’s warnings. With this thought in mind, she put her original plan into action.

Things didn’t go her way.

She found that the railing was old and left splinters in her behind. Elise spent more time getting the splinters out than sliding. The attic was another disappointment. There was nothing special about the dusty room, just stacks of books with ugly pictures and words that Elise couldn’t understand. The only thing that caught her eye was a little cross on a chain—quite a pretty necklace, really. She wrapped it around her wrist, admiring it. Then, Elise ran to her room, reaching under her mattress for the small parcel that stored her collection of sweets.

In the aftermath of her remarkable plan, she was left with nothing but a stomach ache and a sense of boredom.

One knock was all it took to draw her away from her thoughts.

Elise made her way to the door, hoping to bring an end to her boredom. Through the frosted glass in the door, she could make out the figure who had knocked. The silhouette was hunched but completely still.

Elise paused, listening intently. It had begun to rain. Suddenly, her senses were alert. She unlocked the door and pulled it open just a crack.

"Hello?" She asked in a hushed tone. The figure wore a slick black raincoat and was facing away from her, but at the sound of her voice, it slowly lifted its head. Then, turning, it made eye contact.

Elise gasped, eyes widening. As she began to tremble, fear overwhelmed her senses. However, despite this fear, she couldn't seem to close the door. The figure, who she could now see was a man, smiled at her distress. Why were his teeth so strange?

"Let me in," he said in a grating voice, reminding Elise of a rusted hinge. At the sound of his voice, the hair on the back of her neck rose.

With a trembling voice, she responded.

“I…W-what for?” Her pounding heart raced the pouring rain. “We don’t want any trouble.”

The man squinted, glaring at her more intensely. He moved closer to the door, closing the distance between them. With each step he took, Elise’s fist tightened on the handle. She struggled to remember her grandmother’s warnings. Should they come here, stand your ground. This is our place. You have power here.

“Let’s try that again.” The man’s voice had turned from gravel to silk. “Let. Me. In.”

His stare was intense; it was as though he was staring into Elise’s soul—like he had seen and measured the worth of her life and decided it wasn’t much. Suddenly, her eyes felt heavy.

This is our place. Was it really? You have the power here. No, no, no…

Elise glanced at the man with eyes half-shut. She could hear her grandmother’s warnings, but her hand seemed to move on its own, opening the door wider and wider, until the man could see right into the house. His eyes moved from her face to the hall, and he smiled a large, unnatural smile. He took another step, his feet stopping before the threshold.

Once more, he repeated his command. “Let me in, Elise.”

Perhaps there is power in a name. Hearing her own fall from this man, this stranger’s lips, Elise nodded her head and invited him in.

As he crossed the threshold and entered the house, Elise let her heavy eyes close like a door blocking out the sound of rain. The man reached down, grabbing her by the arm, before jumping and hissing in pain. There, wrapped around her wrist, was the necklace from the attic.

Elise startled awake, and upon seeing the man eyeing the necklace, held her hand toward him. He backed away, glaring at her with hatred and a little bit of fear. Pushing ahead, Elise led him back toward the door, where he gripped the frame with a strength that caused the wood to splinter.

She moved forward, gritting her teeth and holding back tears. Yes, she was afraid. Yes, she was naïve. But she had her grandmother’s stubbornness. Finally, just as she was about to touch his chest with the necklace, the man jumped back over the threshold and stood in the rain. Elise quickly shut the door, locking it before sliding to the ground, exhausted.

As she trembled, she cradled the necklace to her chest. Her grandmother’s worry had not been superstition. Elise cried, remembering her grandmother’s gentle touch and voice. After that night, she would not take her guardian for granted ever again. She waited out the rest of the night in fear, having only one thought on her mind.

Elise’s grandmother was taking far too much time to return.

June 02, 2021 00:44

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6 comments

Charlie Murphy
17:13 Jun 07, 2021

So Elise has powers? Great story! Awesome job!

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Carlie Evans
18:52 Jun 07, 2021

Thanks! That's a good interpretation! :) I was leaving hints that her grandmother might be involved in some sort of witchcraft and the man at the door was a vampire-like creature (hence the crucifix and not being able to enter without being invited). If I were to continue the story, I would definitely have to consider going in the direction of giving Elise powers, though.

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Charlie Murphy
18:57 Jun 07, 2021

Cool, I'd really like feedback on my story, "A Pet Day."

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Carlie Evans
20:52 Jun 07, 2021

Sure thing!

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Mellanie Crouell
00:47 Jun 06, 2021

Very good!

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Carlie Evans
07:13 Jun 06, 2021

Thank you!

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