Hidden Secret From The West

A plump of a man. He stood about 5,3 and his weight is hovering around obesity and diabetes. Father Mark, they call him. His stomach seems to be ballooning each day as if it is rioting seeking an escape. 

   He came back from Eastern Europe some say Norway, some Iceland, or somewhere in that region. He came to our parish and introduced new things no one here ever associates with the catholic priest or even Christianity and many were his mouthpiece rendering unrequested excuses for his smoking habits. Worshipers here are not used to things that came with the man and confusion is the result of all his introductions.

He said that the place he was sent from was winter all year round. And as a black priest, he couldn’t help it after three rounds of pneumonia attacks and doctors have to suggest schnapps and smoking as easy remedies. We heard that the last attack nearly sent him to the yonder world. 

 “Why is he still smoking here?”

He has gotten used to it and will gradually stop, always what comes from the mouth of those acting as his mouthpiece. He needed to get stop or from the way he attacks those sticks, cancer might be another boot of attack lined up for him south of Sahara.

 He like sitting a lot maybe due to his weight. Even when officiating services, he sits, and leans more than he stands. Do cigarettes lead to weight gain? Maybe he eats a lot also from the way his diet changed since his posting here.

At thirty-seven, he should not be using driver but that had been what he is into from day one. He came back with three cars. One dark-blue SUV, ash colored Coaster bus, and a red Toyota car. He first recruited six security men to man the gates and detailed three organizations in the church to schedule sleeping in the church and chapels as security means. 

Many are still wondering why the Bishop should post a man like that to this quasi-city instead of a major city where many will understand his introductions and way of living.

He is only confusing these gullible worshipers.

Eight months into his return, he is still into smoke and adding more security men to his fleet. Some have even started questioning whether he is on the run from some gang or something. Why all these moves?

His next introduction was the one that exploded religious madness all around the city and beyond. The people are poor. When the man came with his Wednesday prayers and promises of heaven on earth, people were initially skeptical. The mouth Jesus is dropping from is the mouth smoke is blowing from at the same time.

It was a wonderful sight to behold each Sunday. Behind the alter table, the man will balance the stick of the cigarette expertly between his left fingers and smoke billowing from the smoldering stick while his right hands are busy turning the pages of the common prayer book he reads from. He forgot to learn how to cross his legs like they do in white man movies and worshipers believe it has something to do with the size of his stomach and not oversight.

   God pays attention to the heart, not the outer forms. The normal utterances from his mouthpieces that seem to be increasing each month. But then, the cigarette does the same and more. It pays attention to the heart too.

His Wednesday prayers were slow in taking off for many were studying the man and his ways and he had to call a meeting with all the leaders of the societies in the Parish.

   His line was something like: people wallow in ignorance and stupidity. He was telling them of what they are missing by skipping attending those prayers and urged them to always come with their loved ones. There was a line like some of the families he know that prays well sending their wards to Eastern Europe without paying a penny.

Why that line, and what is he implying? But it stuck.

Well, it worked. Families started trooping in each Wednesday singing and giving and no one remembered the cigarette and the smoke emitting from the same mouth with Jesus at the same time. Europe without a penny covers a multitude of smokes.

Two months later, it was another introduction from the priest. House calls they call it. If you are under attack from evil people and evil spirits, call Father Mark and his prayer warriors, they will come to your house to keep vigil all night and battle to a standstill the evil spirit and free you and your family from the clutches of the demons.

He is not blind to the way of the people and their way of reasoning. He is not blind to the way they eye him each time he is in contact with any of them. It took the Catechist and many church warders months to wind up to his cigarette smoking habits. He can't just help it. He never suffered from any pneumonia attack while in Sweden, it all started as being free from a culture that limits people due to their profession. When he saw himself in a Swedish society that refuses to judge your behavior, he threw himself into smoking and drinking with excuses of running away from pneumonia. The same excuse he gave parishioners here, he gave his colleagues over there.

    Prayer warriors were needed to do the work of convincing the people of the efficacy of his prayers while he does the talking and sermon.

 He came out with yet, another introduction he claimed was the secret of the whites he spent five years with.

 Heaven was let loose in the parish. Everyone turned into ‘gifted' as they refer to their madness. Gifted, the secret of the whites. About four or five sets of gifted groups started springing up all over the parish and streets and every abandoned warehouse. 

One group decodes images from any kind of dreams, another was a group of early morning preachers. Come rain, come sun, they are there 4 am till Lucifer confesses, another were those that can read mouth movement while the last group was those that can interpret any kind of eyes and body signals or movements.

  “Heaven never sends anyone into planet earth without equipping him or her with a gift to see them through. Find your gift” 

Every member of the church went in search of their gift or the other and when their numbers started overflowing and accommodation was needed, they started springing up in various streets and warehouses all set to help others find theirs.

One hitherto happy family has different groups in it that reaching consensus done peacefully before now became a war. They usually arrive at different answers to the same problem after much cursing and swearing.

Father Mark that came out with that move picked those he believes can do the work and keep their mouth shut.

  What can one do when his savings from abroad started dwindling, he needs to do something very fast or his pneumonia excuses will become a reality in his life. Worshipers are not just poor, many have refused to come out of their cigarettes induced withdrawal. They are not given because they believed it's servicing his smoking habits they are yet to make peace with.

   He needed money to see himself through while waiting to know if Bishop will repost him to another parish abroad away from Africa. 

Two months into his family and house call prayers, he started receiving reports that some of his prayer warriors are siphoning his customers. 

 They share cards secretly with the family members they visited. “I do better than the priest at lower charges” their line.

Mrs. Rosa was getting results that market itself. Her Friday invocations as she called it have not enough space for worshipers. Barren getting pregnant, dead businesses rejuvenating, male child's being born here and there. The testimony was spreading like wildfire at the rate Father Mark was losing influence and money.

 He made a move. He sowed the seed of acrimony among those working with the woman who continued to attend catholic services each Sunday while firing demons on Fridays.

One Friday, two sisters that work there embarked on a staged war of tearing their dresses over nothing and smashing windows that attracted staged officers within minutes.

   That was how almost 90 percent of the people that were around there were bundled to the station to give an account of what they witnessed and the woman Mrs. Rosa. Spent almost a month in detention there making statement upon statement and almost all the money she made since starting that Friday invocations prayers went to the officers. People after being subjected to one humiliation to another decided that prayers can be said better in their houses. Better than what they passed through for two weeks in the hands of the officers.

   Even after securing their releases, the officer’s threat of descending unannounced spread like wildfires that made even Father Mark’s Wednesday prayers and house calls lose 95 percent of the attendees. Prayers came naturally to an end and Father Mark is still at his smoking, this time around with Captain Black brand. Benson and Hedges are getting dare. His coughs are getting deep too.