“It’s so tall!” I whisper-shouted to Grace as we waited in line with Ethan, Tiffany, and Jack to ride the Goliath roller coaster. “I know, right! I bet you can see the whole park up there!” Grace said in awe as we stared up at the coaster that was currently at its highest point on the track. “Sharlene?” I heard Tiffany call my name and turned to face her. “Are you sure you want to ride this one? I know you insisted we ride it, but I just want to make sure you’re still up for it.” I nodded, “Absolutely! I’ve never been more sure in my entire life.” It was true. I was definitely nervous, but I was also really excited and I felt like the Goliath was the perfect choice for my first actual roller coaster ride. (I may have done a little research.)
So, we continued waiting, and while doing so, we decided to figure out beforehand who would sit with who. “Alright,” Ethan started, “Grace, who do you want to sit with?” “Sharlene,” she said immediately, and I smiled. I knew she’d pick me; we were really close friends - practically inseparable! Ethan turned to Jack, “Who do you want to sit with, Jack? Me or Tiffany?” Jack looked between the two with a thoughtful expression before replying sheepishly, “Um, I think I’d like to sit with Tiffany.” I giggled; Jack could be really shy sometimes, but I liked him, and so did Grace. That’s why we agreed to invite him to come to Six Flags with us! Also, he’s just a really great friend. “Alright, that’s cool. I don’t mind sitting all alone,” Ethan stated in mock sadness, and we all laughed.
As the line steadily grew shorter, I found myself getting more and more nervous, to the point where I started biting my nails. “You okay, Shar?” Grace asked me. “I’m fine, Grace. Just nervous,” I replied honestly. Grace smiled and pulled me into a friendly hug, “Don’t worry, Sharlene. I’ll be honest with you: I may look calm on the outside,” she said as she pulled away, “but, on the inside, it feels like my stomach is doing flips!” I laughed and felt some of my anxiety go away. Grace always knew just what to say to cheer me up! Jack jumped into the conversation saying, “I’m nervous too, Sharlene. We can be nervous together!” The three of us laughed and shared a group hug.
A few minutes passed as we told funny jokes until it was finally our turn! Grace and I chose a pair of seats in the middle of the coaster; Jack and Tiffany sat in front of us and Ethan sat behind us. The person in charge of checking to make sure all the passengers were buckled in came over, and after a moment, they stepped away. “You ready, Shar?” Grace asked me. I took a deep breath and replied, “Ready as I’ll ever be.” “Hey, isn’t that from that show?” I tilted my head in confusion, “What sh-” Before I could finish my sentence, the coaster started moving, leading me to say “Whoa!” instead. “Here we go!” Ethan said behind us. “Hey, that rhymes!” Grace said, giggling. I laughed a little too, although it was a bit forced since I was still nervous. I’m sure Grace and Jack were too. We started going up, and it sort of felt like we were in a rocket ship, about to “take off”. So, I decided to joke a little to calm my nerves, and Grace’s, “T-minus 30 . . .” Grace caught on to my joke and stated, “29.” We came to a silent agreement to take turns, so I continued with, “28,” as the “rocket ship” ascended. “27.” “26.”
Counting down was actually helping to calm my nerves; instead, I was growing more excited by the second! “15.” “14.” “13.” “12.” We were nearly at the top and I looked to my right. Wow. You really can see the whole park up here! Thank goodness I don’t have acrophobia (fear of heights) or I’d be terrified right now! “7.” “6.” We started counting down together when we reached “5”, and I felt like I was on top of the world! This was it! “3, 2, 1,” Right as the roller coaster started to descend, we both shouted . . .
“BLASTOFF!!!”
I didn’t know how to describe the feeling. Exhilarating? No. Breathtaking? No. Windy? No. All three? Yes! “Woohoo!” I shouted as the wind blew harshly, but not uncomfortably, across my face and the coaster shot forward at an amazing speed. We went up and down and left and right, and me and Grace shouted in joy and delight! Hey, that rhymes! After a few more twists and turns, the coaster slowed until it came to a stop behind the other one. I took a moment to collect myself before I turned to face Grace, “That,” “Was,” she continued, “Awesome!” We finished at the same time.
When we left, we all agreed to head over to the food court to get some lunch before we played games. As we walked together, Ethan asked, “So, on a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your experience?” “10!” Grace and I shouted at the same time. “Um, 8?” Jack answered, though it sounded more like a question. Nonetheless, I could tell he enjoyed it. “9, only because I’ve been on the Goliath before,” Tiffany answered. “Well, I’m going to say 5 because no one wanted to sit with me, so I only had half the experience,” Ethan pouted. “You are such a child, Ethan,” Tiffany laughed. Ethan scoffs, “Please! I’m the most mature person in this group, and the oldest, hence why I’m in charge.” “Now hold on a minute! Who said you were in charge?!” “Uh, I did, of course!” Me, Grace, and Jack giggled quietly as Tiffany and Ethan continued bickering. I really hope we come here again next summer because the next time I ride the Goliath, I’ll be far from nervous!
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1 comment
Great story! Separate your dialogue into separate paragraphs and maybe delete some adverbs. Other than that, great dialogue and action!
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