lost script

There was too much yelling, I couldn’t wrap my mind around the concepts as my fingers, wet with blood, struggled to peel open the eyelids of my left eye. Whatever shrapnel ricocheted off the wall, possibly took my left eye with it, I could live with that. The weight on my feet? Remnants of meat, blood, and bone adorning a uniform like the one I was wearing? Not sure I could live with that.

The once timid man beside me was ranting about how we could have saved him, had my choice been to carry him. Never mind that half of the soldier had been blown to pieces; then again perhaps his brain hadn’t registered that fact yet.

“Shut up. Grab the back of my jacket. We’re getting the fuck out of here!”

I tasted blood in my mouth when I felt his hand grab the rear of my flak jacket, I set my good eye across the street to the building where the rest of the platoon waited.

“You had no right to be his execu…”

Before he continued, I threw my rifle over my shoulder ensuring the buttstock hit the man somewhere. I grinned when I heard him groan as I counted my breaths, considering how fifteen feet could feel like an ocean away.

My mind fluttered to how this prick got stuck here to begin with, and what made him such prime meat? Worth as much as, if not more than this poor man I had to shove off my feet as I neared the empty door frame of what used to be a seemingly nice home.

I heard the timid man shriek as a bullet crashed into the wall aside our heads. I felt a tap on my helmet before he pointed at the wall. I threw my elbow into his rib cage, pointing to the valley of death we needed to cross.

I’d already calculated the chances of me being shot as high, and dying well… I refused to calculate those odds. I hadn’t gotten a premonition, so there was literally no better time than the present… right?

With a step I broke into a sprint, the timid man behind me suddenly found a spunk likely unknown to him before this moment, because rather than me leading him, that man ended up running alongside me, leading me straight for a wall. I watched the soldier’s eyes grow large in the doorway we were about to enter. We were coming too fast, and there wasn’t space enough for us both to make it in the door side by side. As we neared the doorway, I tried to anchor my right foot to stall and a hot searing pain replaced what was once my calf. The moment I’d registered I’d been shot, my head didn’t clear the entry way, and everything went black.

When I awoke, I’d felt a kink in my neck, reminding me that wasn’t just a dream I’d survived. As my dream state faded, I focused on the creaking of the branches outside the icy windows and the sound of boots in the snow drawing nearer. I settled again in the seat of my car momentarily wondering where I was and why. This immediately led me to ask. Who is the I, in this equation. Also, where was my head that boots could be so near?

My left eye twitched as everything came swimming to the forefront of my mind. I leaned over to the passenger seat, gathering all my essentials, and stopping when my hand touched the lost script from my grandmother’s home. A moment I let my heart ache from her loss, then I reminded myself of the good and with a deep breath I pushed open the heavy door of my Buick. It was a hunk of metal sure… but it was my Uncle’s and like his spirit, that car kept carrying me along.

The door slammed behind me and I always imagined it was him shutting it for me. Just before leaning against the side panel, crossing his arms and legs like a guard. As I threw on my jacket, the hood collapsed over my head and I slung on my backpack.

 The gate guard checked a group of us in as we entered the Zoo grounds. To a great many people, I am sure the position isn’t ideal, being a zookeeper, taking care of animals. Essentially supporting the institutions that cage animals. However, coming here and having the chance to tend to the more dangerous of the carnivores, was something like… well it was a reoccurring dream come true.

And though I hadn’t quite made that dream come true, I was on the cusp of doing so. It’s why I’d come early, napped in the car, and it’s why the boots ahead of me crunched just as earnestly as mine did. I was his only competition for the promotion and though he didn’t know it yet, I’d won. That was in the dream too… but then again, over years the thought always bubbled up… It just could have been a dream.

 I’d walked in too late, this I realized when I saw the look on the supervisor’s face. I made my way to my locker ignoring the glares and looks of shock. I set everything inside, locked my locker and went back out to face whatever music this dude had sewn.

The supervisor wasted no time rushing toward me, with a look that was stern and unforgiving,

“Is it true what Stuart says?”

I shifted into a stance with my hands mostly behind my back tilting my head at Stuart questioningly, before meeting the Supervisor’s eyes again.

“It’s true what he says?” She asked again, eyes sparkling with intrigue.

I let a few heartbeats pass before I replied.

“It is.”

“Do you believe that people should be responsible for rules they've broken? Even if unaware of the rule?”

“I do.”

The look of surprise almost… almost crossed her face. For a moment I watched the brows almost lift, and I thought that she was quite beautiful really, she reminded me of someone. A woman I never really got to know but who intrigued me immensely.

“You’re aware of the rules regarding making decisions such as you did?”

“I am.”

“And what do you have to say for yourself?"

“I made a hard choice. A merciful one.”

Later that evening shoveling massive piles of poop, I began to wonder about a great many of my choices. To some this may seem a punishment, but for me it was exactly what I’d wanted. The promotion was mine, and later this evening would be the first time I got to feed the panther.

The inner child in me was dancing a jig like nobody’s business.

Just as I’d thought about it, I’d seen Stuart’s silly face on the other side of the glass barrier to the viewing room I was cleaning. The guy really did, give me a similar vibe as that guy from the Army… what was his freaking name…?

The alarm on my phone threw my attention and another sound that wasn’t right touched my ears. No that wasn’t right at all. Why were all the doors opening from the feeding room? Instantly I looked back to the other side of the glass where the silly man craned his head to the side.

In that instant I recognized the feeling arising in my heart and it immediately surprised me. I had not felt something like hatred in such a long time. I simultaneously grinned and considered how solid of a play this was.

“You Fuk.”

I laughed, knowing if these were to be my last words… he would see, even if he could not hear the words I was mouthing.

It wasn’t until the lights in the building shut off and I heard a laugh over the loudspeaker that I noticed the dome was open slightly at the top, more than usual. I could hear the wind outside calling, the bird’s chirping, crow’s cackling. I desperately held onto these sounds because the beat of my heart tried to become too loud in my ears as panic swelled within me.

How long had the doors been open, and how close was I, to which entrances? Where could I go if I cannot escape?

I heard a branch crack and all the creatures around grew eerily silent. Did time stop? Or did my heart just stop beating? Was this something like that flash people talked about before death?

The many nights grandmother tucked me away with stories from the lost script of merciful Gods, and knights that freed the Lions who restored power to the land. The months of “night terrors” they called them, "weird dreams" I called them, constantly after the military. Over and over, for months. Starting where I’d left off nightly, like a book. Reoccurring dreams of freeing the panther from its confines.

Like I said, literally a dream come true.

And yet?

When a light shone across my face, I followed it to the nearby puddle reflecting the moonlight. I then followed that, to the dark shadow in the center of that puddle where a low growl reached out.

Well now? What to do?

We wait.

I shook my head, wondering where that thought had come from, just as the crouching position I was in seemed a perfectly fine place to freeze. I lowered my gaze and extended my hand toward the panther. It felt like a silly thing to do. Then again, getting yourself locked in a cage with a carnivorous predator? Seemed pretty damn silly too.

As I extended my hand, I saw the creature in the dim moonlight bend its head and sniff just as I noticed my arm begin to change. Before the thought finished in my mind, a pain like nothing I’d ever experienced began to tare through me. It felt as if my ribcage were ripping apart and something within me was coming forth. My bones cracked and hissed like they were expanding, releasing hot gas from a valve.

At some point I’d closed my eyes, I only knew because when I opened them again, I could see the panther sitting in front of me.; patiently. I could see the moonlight reflecting off everything, illuminating the space around me in a low tonal way.

The lights clicked on throughout the building, which was too bright at first, because next I found myself not recognizing my reflection in the pond. To be sure I took what should have been my hand and I pawed at the water with a large black claw. My mind began to reel back to the dreams, to Grandma’s stories from the manuscript.

I tried to move my lips to speak, and strange vibrations came from my chest.

Am I… purring? What the fuucc…

Now, there is no need for that type of language.

My neck was so much more flexible than I was used to, that when I swiveled to find the source of “the sound”, I nearly nicked my back with the large fangs in my mouth. When I looked around the other way to confirm it was only us two, I furrowed my brows.

I just shifted from a human to a cat, and you’re concerned about language? I twisted my head for effect.

How is it you’ve lived your whole life unaware you’re a shifter? There was no expression on the panther’s face, no movement of lips.

Telepathy? Cool. I tilted my head the other way.

Should we worry about these things before or after we maul the dude who locked me in here?

There was a distinct reaction of disgust on the panther’s face in response to that.

I can teach you how to shift back. I am unable due to a curse. Like a mermaid I

need to return home to break the curse. Will you help me?