Vicki's Last Road Trip

Summer of 2007. It was the summer before my junior year of high school. I was sixteen. She had just turned ten years old a couple weeks before. Our parents told us that we were going on vacation, but wouldn’t give us any hints as to where we would be going, so we all packed for anything, but mostly swimsuits and tank tops since we some how thought we were going on a cruise. We all piled up into the suburban, eight of us in all. The two youngest in the very back seat (which we all fought over), the two middle in the middle back seat, and the two oldest (myself included) sat in the front back seat, with our parents of course up front. I remember a lot of music listening and book reading on the drive down. Eventually we all ended up switching spots before too long, so of course I got paired with her. We were always partners. I didn’t mind at all reading to her quietly as she laid her head down against my shoulder while the sound of cars passing by lulled us all to sleep.

Before too long we stopped again to stretch our legs and the obligatory restroom break. “Me-Me?” she asked quietly. “Yes Vicki?” I replied. “Can you come to the bathroom with me?” “Of course, I’m coming to the bathroom with you! I have to pee too!” We climbed out of the back of the suburban but not before yawning and stretching our arms, then she grabbed my hand and we walked together to the rest stop restrooms. Though we were six years apart in age she was already almost as tall as I was! After we were all relieved, we climbed back into the suburban into our new assigned seats, but not before our parents revealed our surprise destination! Disney World!

Immediately I saw her face light up so bright. I could tell she was so excited! We all were! Disney World is every kid’s dream! Thinking back on it now years later I want to say I can remember what we talked about as we made our way to our hotel, but to be honest, I didn’t think I was going to need to, but I really do wish I had now. I remember we were on the top floor of the hotel because we were all so excited about getting on the elevators and running through the halls chasing each other. Though I don’t remember too much about the hotel, I do know that we had an absolute blast.

Most of our actual time there is such a blur now, except for Dr. Seuss Land. That was her absolute favorite part of the trip. I should have participated more with all of my other siblings going on ride after ride, but the truth is I’m terrified of heights! I didn’t mind going to all the little kid rides with her. I was her best friend and she was mine. I’ll never forget her favorite ride was one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish. If you have never been on it, it’s a basic kid ride that moves up and down in the air, but this one had random towers that would squirt a little bit of water on you if you moved it at the right time with your little steering wheel. Of course, Vicki had me sit with her! “Me-Me! We have to get in front of the fish!” She kept cheering me on to steer us close to the towers so we could get wet too! It was so much fun, she laughed so much and smiled so big. We were soaked by the end of the first round, but she wanted to get on again and again asking me to come with her each time. We took lots of family pictures with characters and each other. I remember being extremely happy with my life in that moment. Vicki’s hand in mine while we watched our favorite characters go by on their floats.

I wish I knew then, that that was going to be our last family vacation. I think I would have held on tighter to everything she touched and everything she said. I would have remembered what we had for breakfast or what we talked about while we waited in line for hours. I would have remembered her face a little harder while she was laughing and having fun. I would have remembered. While Disney World was our last family vacation, our family had one more road trip to go on. While the Summer of 2007 was one of the best times in my life, Winter of 2007 was the worst time in my life.

As an adult now, I should have seen it coming. We can’t have the best times in our life without being directly followed by the worst. What followed our lovely summer together was the absolute worst moment in my life. On December 6^th, 2007 my beautiful sweet baby sister Victoria Lynn Fuller died at the very young age of ten years old. You may ask, how? To spare a lot of heart ache and misery for everyone, let me just briefly describe my baby sister to you.

Vicki was born on July 23^rd of 1997. She was a beautiful baby. I was so happy I got to be her big sister. Then they told our mom that Vicki had brain damage. My mom fought back and wanted another opinion. For months the topic of conversation was brain damage or stroke? After quite a few specialists they told our mom that at Vicki’s birth she was born with a stroke. None of us cared. We loved Vicki anyway. Vicki’s life was very tough for her. She had a lot of trouble learning to walk and talk but I did my best to help her every step of the way. After facing abuse from her physical therapist in Daycare, Vicki still smiled. She loved everyone. She was one of those kids who didn’t care where you came from or what you looked like, she loved you. No matter what you did to her.

After her melanoma diagnosis, we come to a dark time in her life. There are way too many words I could use to describe what happened to her in this time. Perhaps a story for another day, but let’s just say she didn’t come out too well on the other side. Needless to say, we were getting her a lot of help. As much help as we possibly could. There were times when she did really well too, but other times would be spent in the local hospital. December 6^th felt just like another one of those times.

I think now, looking back, that somehow, she knew. She knew her last road trip was coming. I couldn’t tell you how much her last words haunt me to this day. “Me-Me? Can you stay with me?” She was staying home sick from school that day, but I had work right after school. “I can’t baby girl. I have to go to work after school, but when I get home what if I play Bratz with you and read you a story?” She smiled, gave me a hug, and said “I love you Me-Me”.

The last image I have of my little sister alive is her in her nightshirt (which she had borrowed from me) waving goodbye to me as my siblings and I walked up to the end of our road to the bus stop. School passed by in a similar manner as it always did, then I went to work with not a clue that my best friend was dying at that very moment. Now I couldn’t even tell you what time I left, but I do remember a family friend coming to fetch me from work, saying there had been a family emergency and that I needed to be with my family. The car ride to the hospital was quiet, but my mind was racing, all with thoughts about Vicki. I had it in my head that she was okay and this was just another routine visit.

I remember briefly walking into the lobby of the hospital where all my siblings were crying and holding each other. I was slightly confused because in my head I already knew she was going to be okay, but then I heard the words I didn’t want to believe. “She’s dead. She died.” My knees buckled and I remember darkness. I remember making it up the stairs to where she was still being held. I couldn’t look at my mother without bursting into tears, so I asked to see her first. I remember my fists trembling and tears streaming down my face as they pulled back the curtain. All the tubes were still connected to her but the machines were off. I grabbed her hand and it was already cold. I screamed and flung myself on top of her. She couldn’t be dead. This wasn’t real. She was just fine that morning!

I don’t remember leaving the hospital. I don’t remember leaving her side. At the viewing I kept sweeping her hair out of her eyes because they were always getting in her face. I wouldn’t let anyone touch her. I held her hand until we were forced to leave. The day of her last road trip was here. I couldn’t say a word. Tears were pouring out of my eyes but I couldn’t utter a sound. This was all some horrible dream. This couldn’t be real. Then I heard her voice in my head. “Me-Me I love you.” I wept and wept as they loaded her into that black vehicle of death. I almost wanted the ride to be longer. Vicki loved going on road trips. It didn’t matter where it was or how far, she was always wanting to go wherever her heart desired.

Vicki’s last road trip occurred on that Monday morning following her death. It was pretty cold and windy, and looked like it wanted to rain, but it didn’t. But the whole family was together, and I think she would have liked that. She loved everyone she ever met, but would never be mad at anyone. You could treat her absolutely terribly (some of them actually did) and she would still love you with all of her heart. That heart is buried in a small town in North Carolina. I still visit as often as I can, remembering everything I can about all the road trips I’ve been on, so I can tell her about them, so she can enjoy them too. Rest in peace sweet Vicki. Me-Me will love you forever and ever.