So it's been a while, but I've decided to post a poem I wrote at about 11 PM at night yesterday related to a school shooting that happened near my school. It has nothing to do with the prompt, but I thought it would be nice if people could give me some feedback on it. It is a bit sensitive, however, to myself and others who have experienced similar things. Stay safe everyone <3
TW: Contains descriptions of a school shooting and blood
Our ears fill with laughter,
Our faces shine with joy.
Our feet run down the hallway
Decorated with our school’s achievements.
My eyes meet yours,
Shining,
Hopeful,
A sense of youthfulness radiating from our stances.
Your hair,
Sandy, with a sprinkle of gold.
Your eyes,
Bright blue, yet darker than the deepest oceans.
Your shoes,
Black and white, with silver lining.
I take it all in.
You’re running beside me,
Heart in time with mine.
Little did I know,
That would be the last time my eyes met with yours.
I turn the corner,
And hear gunshots go off.
Gunshots?
How could that be?
Blood splatters behind me,
But I dare not look behind.
I run,
And run,
And run,
For the selfish fear of staying alive
Kept me from looking for you.
Police sirens pierce the air,
And I see someone led away in handcuffs.
I turn back around.
I run,
And run,
And run,
Shouting your name,
Until my throat turns raw.
Then,
I see you.
But it’s not you anymore.
I see the tops of your black and white sneakers
Sticking out of the black sheet they covered you with.
I see the spot where you once lay,
The spot that’s now covered in your blood.
And then I scream.
With a raw throat,
I scream.
I cry.
I curse.
For you are gone.
And then I question.
Why?
Why?
Why?
One of your shoes fall off,
And I rush to pick it up.
The black and white sneaker,
That you loved so much,
Is covered with your blood.
Just how
My shoes will always be covered with the guilt
Of running away
From you.
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26 comments
Such a beautiful poem! I absolutely loved it! You should definitely write more!
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Thank you so much! I definitely will continue to write :)
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NOOOOOOOO this story is so FREAKING SAD and also manages to perfectly capture one of my general fears?? Really anything involving guns or situations like this is freaky. (Like, I was just visiting family in the South, and there were SO MANY RANDOM GUNSHOTS.) But yea, you captured the emotions of this really well, and the end is heartbreakingly perfect. Also, I’m a sucker for titles matching a line in the story, so GREAT JOB. :D
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Yeah it is sad Oh yeah, guns are so terrifying because they're so unpredictable. Thank you so much!!! I really appreciate it!
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Aww, the ending was so heartbreaking. I felt like crying. I'm so sorry this happened near your school, and I'm sure it makes you and everyone around u be in fear but we can all get through this together. And thanks for bringing awareness to the safety we are lacking for schools.
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Thank you, I really appreciate that :)
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Of coursee:DD
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<33
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Hi, Kate! I might just cry a little bit, because your descriptions were absolutely stunning. The end just... it hurt, it really, really did, and that proves how well you wrote the whole poem. I've never been involved in something like this, and am fortunate to live in a really safe area and district. Your poem, though, helped me understand what it could be like for people other than news reporters. Thank you for that. :)
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Thank you, that was my goal :) I live in a pretty safe district as well, so it was a big surprise when this happened. Be careful <3
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Np! :) You as well!
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:D Also I posted the fantasy story
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Hi, Kate! I might just cry a little bit, because your descriptions were absolutely stunning. The end just... it hurt, it really, really did, and that proves how well you wrote the whole poem. I've never been involved in something like this, and am fortunate to live in a really safe area and district. Your poem, though, helped me understand what it could be like for people other than news reporters. Thank you for that. :)
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Hey, Kate! I really enjoyed this poem because of its deep meaning and its descriptiveness. I think the ending was my favourite part, it just,,,, hit really hard. Amazing work as always! I'm so glad to read smth by you again :)
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Thank you! I really liked the ending as well, and I’m glad to be back :D
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Of course :)
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I hope everyone is doing well, and I hope to raise even more awareness for school shootings. To be honest, I didn't pay too much attention to them until they happened so close to my school. You never think something that terrible will happen to you until it does. Stay safe everyone, and remember that you are loved <3
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girllll this is so pretty!! That last line tho😭😭😭 You did an amazing job taking us(the readers) through a journey in a short and sweet amount of time and I think you did amazing!! Hope everyone near you is safe and stays safe<33
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Thank you! Unfortunately we had 4 deaths, but I hope it won't ever happen again. I guess in a way I just want to raise awareness to these sorts of things because there's not really anything you can do to prepare. I never thought something like this would happen to me until it did. Stay safe <3
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Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that. Yeah I agree, it's not something we talk about much until it becomes a whole lot more real. Thanks, you too<3
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Thank you <33
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wow ouch i feel so bad this sounds like me though o-o
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Ah yeah lol Just be aware of your surroundings and stay safe I guess <3
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you too <3
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Thanks
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npp
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