Ten Days To Think

Michael started writing journals more than ten years ago after a devastating divorce caused him to have a nervous breakdown and his therapist thought that writing out his emotions daily would help him express how he truly felt without acting on his emotions. He was correct. Focusing his feelings out into the open, even if it was only for his record, was a great way to release a lot of his suppressed anger and bitterness toward his ex-wife or any other stresses that he may face.

December 23:

           This year has been a rollercoaster of emotions and hardships for me, but I feel confident that just ten days from now, all of that will change.

           With the onset of this global pandemic plaguing our planet, many of my friends and family have had to face financial struggles, broken marriages, loss of jobs, and in a few cases, death. I consider myself to be an empathic person, or at least I was until 2020 began. I was positive-minded and so sure of myself in everything I ever did. I knew that one day I would be a success.

           Somewhere around March of this year, however, I had been knocked down a few notches off the pedestal that I had made for myself. The company that I had worked at for the last fifteen years was being forced to close due to a massive national financial restructuring and my choice was to either take a lower position at a much lower rate, or I could take a layoff. Because I feel that I deserve better, I chose the layoff. I told them I would get a job with the competition instead.

           Unfortunately, the competition was downsizing as well and turned me away without as much as an interview.

December 24:

           The job interview that I have coming up could put my life back on track again. I have almost completely depleted my savings since my layoff and if I am unable to find a new career soon, I will lose my house.

           You would think that after fifteen years of service, I would have gotten a better severance package, but no such luck. I even had to trade in my Mercedes-Benz CLA 250 for a Cadillac CT4. My neighbors turned their noses up at me when I pulled into the driveway, but I just ignored them.

           It does not feel like Christmas this year. My family cannot get together, not that we would anyhow. We have not spoken to one another in over five years now. They claim that I have changed, but I know it is only because they are jealous of me. Oh well, their loss, not mine.

December 25:

           It is Christmas Day, and I am sitting at home alone. Ironically, I am watching the movie, “Home Alone” on TV as well. Well, I am not completely alone, Percy, my brown and black tabby cat keeps me company. His personality seems to match mine in some ways. He is independent and will not let up until he gets what he wants.

           I am staring at the fourteen-inch-high ceramic Christmas tree sitting on my living room table. The only gifts that will be seen this year under it, will be the toys I bought for Percy and the calendar that my brother sends me every year. He gets them for free from a sales representative that he deals with at work. What a cheapskate.

           Who needs presents anyway? I have all the things that I could ever want already. I am happy just watching movies and munching down on the Chinese food that I had delivered. The fortune cookie that came with the meal read, “A fresh start will put you on your way”. That sounds like fate to me. I am confident that this job is in the bag.

December 26:

           I am glad Christmas is over with, now maybe people can move on with their lives and things can get back to normal. They say that people are starting to take this vaccine now. I hope the pandemic is over with soon. I am getting so annoyed wearing a mask when I go out. I don’t bother when I am with my friends though. We get together for a few beers every Saturday and play some cards or watch football.

           I know that Jack was coughing and sneezing when he was here last weekend, but he gets a cold every year. I doubt there is anything to worry about.

           Maybe when the boys and I get together on New Year’s Eve, we can invite some girls along too. I mean, what is a party without women to entertain us, right?

December 27:

           I got a call today to confirm my interview on December 29^th at 10:00 AM. I need to go over my resume once more to make sure I tell them everything that they will want to hear. My good suit will be ready to pick up from the dry cleaners tomorrow as well.

           The person doing the interview is named Veronica Hastings. When I looked up her profile on Facebook, I saw that she was single, sexy, and successful. I see this as an opportunity to turn on the charm and win her vote.

December 28:

           The dry cleaner called and said that there was a mishap while they were pressing my suit and it received a large burn mark on the back of one leg of my pants. They will pay for the replacement cost and press another suit at no charge, but they cannot have it ready until tomorrow afternoon. I am going to have to wear one of my other suits and try to iron out the wrinkles myself. Of course, I need to buy an iron first and figure out how to use it.

           Percy added fuel to the fire today. He must have been upset with me and he peed all over my Gucci shoes. They are the only pair that matches the suit that I need to wear too. I guess I need to buy new shoes now.

           The line-ups at the stores were horrendous! When I finally found a pair of replacement shoes, they were a half-size too small, but I did not have time to shop anywhere else unless I wanted to venture into Walmart, but that was not going to be happening.

           My neighbor, Harriet, the retired nurse who lived next door offered to iron my suit for me. That was one thing that went in my favor today at least.

December 29:

           Today is my interview. Harriet dropped off my suit last night and it looks great. I slipped her a fifty-dollar bill for her troubles. The shoes fit, but barely. My toes feel like they are in a vice. I kept this pair out of Percy’s reach so he could not ruin them as well.

           I figured that I should start the interview by telling Veronica, I mean, Miss Hastings, about how her office is so beautifully decorated. They love that. Then I can make a comparison between her eyes and something similar in color. By the time I finish with her, she will be offering me a management position.

December 30:

           The interview did not go as well as I had expected. Firstly, Veronica had to call in sick and an older man named Mr. Johnson took her place. He was rigid and had no sense of humor. Mr. Johnson grilled me for almost an hour about my experience and references. I tried to find some common interests, but he did not appear to have any.

           Near the end of the interview, he sent me for mandatory COVID testing. Every employee was tested once every two weeks. If they showed any signs of the virus, they would be forced to stay home and quarantine until they received the results of their next test.

           I held out my hand to shake Mr. Johnson’s hand, but I could see him scowl beneath his mask. He reminded me that such physical contact is prohibited during the pandemic.

           Overall, I think I left a good impression. He said that he would contact me in a few days to let me know if I got the job or not.

December 31:

           The New Year’s Eve party is all arranged. With the boys and all the women that agreed to come, we should have about eighteen people here tonight. I am so looking forward to this. That interview stressed me out.

           I bought three cases of beer, six bottles of wine, and a variety of hard liquors to assure a good time for all. I had a caterer prepare the sandwiches and snacks.

           Jack said he would be here at 6:00 PM after he gets off work. His job at the nursing home has kept him extra busy this year. They had him working several overtime shifts to cover for people who were off.

January 1:

           The party started great. Everyone was having a good time. Everyone had a drink in their hands all night. I think I kissed almost every woman in the place before the night was through. I even ended up in bed with this sweet Latino number. I think her name was Marissa or something like that. I was too wasted to remember.

           The party was broken up before midnight though. I guess one of my neighbors called the cops complaining about the noise. The cops also said that there were restrictions on the number of people that could be in the house at one time and every person there was fined $10,000. I refuse to pay it though. They have no right to charge that much.

           If that wasn’t bad enough, I got a call back from Mr. Johnson. It turns out that he received the results of my testing and they say that I have COVID-19. I am not even showing signs, but he said that because I have the virus, they cannot hire me.

           I contacted my lawyer to see if I could fight it, maybe say that it is discrimination, but he said that they are within their rights. He suggested that I start changing my lifestyle and keep away from my friends for a while until the pandemic passes. I am not sure where I am going to get the money to pay for my mortgage next month. I was counting on this job.

           Perhaps my attorney was right. Maybe I need to make a change. I know that I may lose some friends, but my true friends will understand and stick around until I see this through.

           I called Jack up, and it turns out that he tested positive for COVID as well. I need to contact everyone that was at the party and tell them to be tested too.

           I believe that my fortune cookie was talking about this very moment. This is my fresh start. I may lose a lot of material possessions, but I believe the struggle will make me a better and stronger person in the long run.

           The next interview I go for will be better thought out. I will not be trying to charm my way through it. I will speak from experience and the heart and if they still don’t want to hire me, then I will keep searching until I find the right one who hires me for who I am instead of who they expect me to be.

           I guess it is true; you need to find the bottom before you can start understanding and respecting the climb to get back up to the top again. Perhaps the top is not the best place to be at all. Once you reach the top, you cannot climb any higher. Maybe I will look at other options while I rethink my life so far.

           I found a parcel outside my door this evening. It was from my sister. Inside was a photo album that she put together with old family pictures. I started crying as I came across a photo of my dad holding me on his knee when I was about four. I miss him so much. It is hard to believe that he has been dead for eight years already.

           I think I will call up my brother and sister tomorrow and see if they can arrange for us all to get together with my mom at her place one day soon, but first, I need to do what I can to fight off this virus. I do not want to risk getting any of my family sick.

           You know, when I think about it now, they seem so happy. They may not have much, but they can always rely on each other.