~ Breaking Bread ~

~ Breaking Bread ~

Debbie, The Erran Comista of Earth and Shewuma, Hopi Kachina, were hard at work cooking their “family” dinner. The menu was steaks, bacon, and scrambled eggs for the Carnivores. Also french-fries, green beans, and biscuits for everyone else. It had become tradition to have all of her brood over on Sunday to eat, drink a little and discuss the past week’s events. And this week had been a humdinger. Corrine and Daniel arrived and would stay as long as it took for Debbie to reverse Corinne’s recurring cancer. Jimmy and Granddaddy went underground to the Bloworld to retrieve musgravite, necessary for Corrine’s revolutionary treatment. David E. and a pregnant Wisty, both working for the USSF, unexpectedly paid a visit, engaged to be married no less. Turned out Wisty’s true mission was to have refugees/house guests Robert Hazer and his son Jubal assassinated. Debbie and Wu sent her packing and warned her never come back. Shocked and blindsided, David E. broke up with Wisty right there and she skedaddled. Now David E. had gone off hunting her and his baby. What a mess. And the mysterious Drachonian they found left for dead in the dessert had been in a kind of stasis for months, but now his eyes were open. Still there was no cognitive responses from him. Like he was in a coma. The wound left from the missing arm that was ripped from his body had closed up. Debbie’s Alien Crystal Computers assured her that the arm would grow back over the next several hundred years. A prosthetic arm was doable, but she would not even consider that for now. She knew nothing about his history or intentions. Kachinas Chevayo and the Eagle, were tracking Hybrid assassins through the Austrian Alps. Eagle’s wife Luce was with child and Debbie had mixed feelings about him leaving her alone, but Luce seemed fine with it. And finally Dermott. After partnering up with another gamer, her boy had reached the finals of an online championship of a game called PUBG. Quite a week.

Debbie telepathically called everyone to dinner as she flipped the sizzling Ribeyes. An apron that read All of This, And I Can Cook Too, kept the splattering grease off of Debbie’s all white ensemble of yoga pants and t-shirt with the words Kachina’s Rock across the front. Debbie spotted Shewuma eyeing her muscular posterior, accentuated by a battle belt of edged weapons. “You really look hot, Spunky” said Shewuma, momentarily ignoring the biscuit dough to take in Debbie’s backside.

Debbie wiggled her butt playfully. “Sounds like my sexy Chieftess is a little horny.”

“Don’t get me started. I will leave this food right here to burn and take you straight to bed.” Wu slapped Debbie hard on the ass.

“Promises, promises. Dinner’s almost ready. Go get dressed?”

Placing biscuits on the sheet pan, Wu said pertly, “I am dressed.”

Long pitch black hair in a single braid, Shewuma’s lean, fit, copper toned body was sporting skimpy baby blue satin bra and panties. “Wu, you’re your almost naked.”

“You’re always telling me to put on underwear. Besides, it matches my turquoise inlaid tomahawk.”

“Wu, will you please put on more clothes? Robert and Jubal Hazer do not need to see you half naked. That’s all I need is for them to start mooning after you like Malachi does.”

Wu put the biscuits in the oven and faced Debbie, hands on her hips. “It would make their day. But I’ll do it for you.” She headed down the hall to the bedroom.

“And don’t come back in just a scarf or hat. Put on a dress,” Debbie sent to Shewuma’s mind.

“Since your transformation you’re no fun anymore,” Wu mumbled.

Knowing Wu could hear her back in the bedroom, Debbie said, “I was never any fun and you know it.” She heard Wu laugh out loud.

Wu returned in her own revealing version of a traditional Hopi dress called a Manta. The tall, gangly Dermott came in the front door and sat in a green t-shirt intensifying his freckles and fiery red hair. Corrine came in with a spring in her step, her black hair in a messy bun and dressed to the nines in a floral print midi dress with ankle boots. “Can I do anything Dibsi?”

“Sure Babe. Put the tea pitchers on the table and fill the water glasses, that would be great.” Deb was pleased to see her smiling again. She arrived only a few days earlier a total mess. “Look at you all gussied up. What’s the occasion?”

“I thought I’d go to Saint Bede’s evening service. I feel like getting out.”

Corrine’s husband Daniel trudged through the kitchen to the dining room and sat down.

“Daniel,” remarked Debbie, “you look rough.”

“They called me in to play at the Jazz Room last night and I only got home 2 hours ago.”

“Are you going to church with your wife?”

“Hell no. I’m going to bed.”

Debbie asked Dermott telepathically, “Would you mind going with her Sweetie? I don’t Want her out there alone right now. And take Jimmy’s 9mm with you.”

Dermott called to Corrine. “Hey cuz. Can I go with you? I’ve never been to a Catholic Church before.”

“Sure Dermy. That would be great.”

“I want milk too,” Said Wu.

Corinne chirped, “On it.”

Everyone had arrived when Debbie and Shewuma brought the food from the kitchen. The new maple 14 seat dining table was getting tight. Debbie sat at the head near the front door foyer. To her right, Malachi occupied Jimmy’s seat. Tall, lean, regal with long white hair, emerald green eyes and utterly gorgeous. Then Corrine and Daniel. To Debbie’s immediate left sat Shewuma. Next to Wu were Luce, Robert Hazer and his son, Jubal. David E. when he was there, sat at the other end and Dermott always sat next to him.

As food went around and plates filled Debbie said, “Corrine, put it back.”

Corrine whined, “Come on Debs. All I’ve been eating is meat and eggs. Can’t I have a biscuit?”

“No, we have to break that sugar addiction. Eat more bacon.”

“Miss Luce, how are you and you’re baby doing?” Dermott asked from the far end of the table.

Luce answered openly. “I tell you Dermott, lately I’m a bitch on wheels. My back hurts, I have to pee all the time. I’m either hungry or I’m blowing grits.” She looked down the table at his frowning face. Perhaps she was being too honest and followed up with, “Other than that, we’re doing great. I’m just worried about Neuy.”

Daniel whispered to Corrine, “Who’s Neuy?”

“That’s what she calls the Eagle.” Corrine whispered back.

Shewuma said out of the blue to Malachi, “What’s the deal with Paul Rudd and peeing?”

Debbie looked up. “What?”

Shewuma explained, “Paul Rudd and all the peeing stuff online. I figured Malachi would know, he loves Paul Rudd.”

Malachi responded, “I love him in the sense that I appreciate his acting chops and comedic timing.”

“Acting chops Mal?” As were all the Errans, he was usually so literal and precise.

“It’s Hollywood nomenclature Comista. And remember, since the transformation you are an Erran as well.”

Debbie realized he was reading her thoughts. Why hadn’t she intercepted it? “Stay out of my head Boy.”

“Yes Comista.” He turned his attention back to Shewuma. “Concerning Paul Rudd and his piddling, (he winked at Debbie) we have the urinal scene with Corden. While peeing he actually eats a sandwich. There’s him peeing on the poster. Peeing behind the tree in the snow. And on a talk show …”

“Excuse me.” Interrupted Robert Hazer. He looked deliberately from Luce to Wu then Malachi. “Can we not discuss urinating and throwing up at the dinner table while I’m eating?”

Next to him Jubal muttered, “I like Paul Rudd.”

Wu and Luce snickered while Malachi said, “Of course Mr. Hazer I understand. Paruresis, or shy bladder syndrome is not uncommon in men of your age group and socioeconomic status.”

Reactions ranged from giggling to outright laughter. Even Robert saw the humor but Dermott responded, “What’s so funny? Peeing is very personal.”

Debbie said, “It’s time to change the subject. Robert tell me about this machine you and Jubal are building.”

“I call it the Sound Levitation Unidirectional Transducer.”

Daniel blurted out, “It’s a SLUT!”

Corrine and Shewuma began to sing the Todd Rundgren song “S..L..U..T.. She may be a slut but she looks good to me.” Robert shook his head with exasperation.

“We better change the name.” Jubal noted.

Malachi leaned forward with interest. “Mr. Hazer, I assume you’re ultimate goal is to lift and move random objects with sound.”

“Of course. We want to debunk the ridiculous theories on the building of the Pyramids.”

“What about Gorkov’s fundamental theory of acoustophoresis?”

Jubal answered, “That’s our main sticking point.”

“I assume you are currently lifting light spheres in your magnetic field cage.”

“Oh, we’ve already past that point. We can lift anything that will fit in the field. I want to achieve that same result remotely. It would be no problem if we had access to Celestial energy.” He looked at Debbie expectantly.

With finality she said, “Not gonna happen.”

Malaachi rubbed his chin, “Hmm. So your problem is carrier waves in the context of high intensity focused electromagnetic technology?”

Robert and Jubal simultaneously said, “Exactly!”

“Boring!” Corrine called out.

Malachi nodded acknowledgment to Corrine’s comment and then sent a telepathic offer to Jubal, “I’m willing to come to your guest cottage tomorrow and discuss this further.”

“That sounds great. We’d appreciate the help.”

Shewuma said, “Hey Dermott, how’s that new gaming partner working out?”

“We won the championship.” Congratulations went around the table. Debbie was truly proud. He had come so far from the lonely, damaged man/boy they had acquired a year ago. “Miss Debbie when is Mr. Jim coming back? I really need to talk to him,”

“Jimmy and Grandaddy should be on their way back soon. What’s up Sweetie? Are you sure I can’t help you?”

“Well, it’s kind of a guy thing. You see...I think I’m in love.”

Wu interjected. “With your partner Charlie?”

Corrine said, “Dermott I didn’t know you were gay.”

“No not Charlie, Charlie Sue. My partner is a girl.”

Debbie was caught completely off guard. “And you say you love her. Have you two ever met in person?”

“No.”

“Have you ever seen her?”

“Sure. We spend many hours on FaceTime every day.”

“Excuse me, Comista,” interrupted Malachi and turned to Dermott. “You’re confirming that she has seen you and she is amenable to a physical relationship?” Questioned Malachi.

With a confused look Dermott said “Yes?”

Debbie instantly admonished Malachi. “Mal, ixnay.”

Oblivious to his unintended slight. Mal responded, “Yes Comista.”

“Dermott, I think Jimmy would tell you the same thing any of us would. Take it slow, get to know each other and be yourself.”

Dermott responded to snorts and sniggers, “I asked her to move in with me.”

Debbie’s brow furrowed and asked, “Well, that seems awfully quick, what did she say?”

“She said yes.”

“Dermott?” asked Malachi. “Does this Charlie Sue by chance think that you are wealthy?”

“Mal, goddammit.” Said Shewuma as she hurled a biscuit across the table.

Malachi caught the biscuit inches from his face and questioned, “What?”

Wu thought her answer to Mal to spare Dermott’s feelings. “His self-esteem is bad enough as it is. And he’s still upset about the whole Wisty, David E. and their baby thing.” Then finished her tirade verbally through clenched teeth, “So shut the fuck up Mal!” Then to Dermott, “Baby you can’t let a girl you hardly know move in with you.”

“Miss Shewuma. Didn’t you move in with Debbie and Jimmy before you knew them at all?”

“Well...uh...Yeah?” Wu looked to Debbie for help.

Debbie said, “Dermott, Honey, that was a whole different set of circumstances.”

Malachi cut in, “You said hole.” Then looked at Shewuma and put his hand in front of his face defensively.

Corrine, Daniel and Jubal all started laughing while Shewuma tried to suppress a smile. Robert whispered the spelling to Jubal, “She meant w.h.o.l.e. not h.o.l.e.”

“Forget it Pop, I’ll explain it later.”

Debbie cut her eyes at Mal then continued. “We have to consider the antiquities, the Crystal Skulls, our security and…um…what else Wu?”

“We don’t know anything about this girl. Does she work? Where is she from? What if she gets pregnant? I assume you two will have sex.”

Dermott’s face blushed a bright red. “Are you saying no?”

Corrine said, “You know guys, Daniel and I moved in together four days after we met and were married within a month.”

Debbie released a heavy sigh and took Shewuma’s hand. “Dermott, this is your home and you’re a grown man so let’s make a deal. You bring Charlie Sue to meet us for lunch and if everything goes well…”

Shewuma interjected “And everyone survives.”

Debbie went on, “Especially that. Then we’ll try this arrangement on a trial basis.”

Dermott quickly shuffled to the other end of the table and hugged Debbie and Shewuma then went back to his dinner. Sounding giddy he said out loud, “I can’t wait to tell Mr. Jim and the Command Sergeant Major.”

Corrine said, “Where the hell is David E. anyway?”

“He should be back here any day now,” said Debbie. “He resigned from the USSF, did you know?”

“Interesting.” Said Malachi.

Shewuma reached for some more fries. “Good, I never trusted those fools anyway.”

The meal was winding down. Debbie offered homemade Keto coffee ice cream to anyone interested in dessert. Corrine anxiously scooted her chair back. Debbie stopped her cold. “No Corrine, not you.”

“Oh Debbie.” Corrine whined like a wounded child.

Daniel said, “Debbie explain to me why Corrine can’t have ice cream or a biscuit.”

“May I Comista?” Offered Malachi.

“By all means Mal.”

Malachi turned to face Daniel. “Normal cells in the human body can survive on glucose or thrive on ketones. Cancer cells on the other hand need glutamine to survive and glucose to metastasize. The Comista has eliminated Corrine’s intake of carbohydrates thus halting any further growth of the tumor and putting her metabolism in full ketone burning mode. Corrine also takes Don, a substance that the Comista synthesized which inhibits the production of glutamine resulting in the shrinkage of the cancer cells.”

Daniel interrupted, “You’re starting to lose me Mal.”

“Okay, let’s keep it simple. No carbohydrates and the tumor can’t grow. Inhibit glutamine by taking the Don, now the tumor will shrink. The radioactive Musgravite, being acquired by Jimmy and Captain Dick, (Corrine quietly corrected Cap’n Dick) will speed up the whole process. And yes, I said hole.”

“Wait a minute, wait a minute.” Said Robert, “This isn’t my field but I thought the body needs carbohydrates.”

Debbie jumped in. “That’s a myth Robert. There is no nutritional need for carbohydrates in humans. Not only is meat more nutrient dense than carbohydrates, ie: plants, grains, beans, fruit, and sugar. Actually there are nutrients in meat that plants don’t have at all.”

“Even if I accept that premise, what about fiber?”

Mal took it, “Fiber being a subset of carbohydrates makes it ipso facto unnecessary. Fiber is undigestible sugars with no nutritional value. It irritates your colon, nothing more than that. I suggest you refer to the writings of Mrs. Zoe Harcombe for more particulars.”

Robert threw up his hands, “I give up.”

Jubal said, “I’m gonna try this Carnivore.” His dad looked at him like he was crazy, so Jubal shook a handful of belly fat at him.

Shewuma and Luce both stood, alarmed. “You smell that?”

“Yes.” Answered Luce.

The one-armed Drachonian appeared in the doorway from the kitchen, holding a butcher knife. The visage of the 6’3” Reptilian Alien with spikes coming out of his neck and shoulders was ominous. There were gasps and ahhs around the table as the humans scurried to the foyer. Both Kachinas pulled their tomahawks as Wu ordered, “Drop the knife or die Drachonian.”

Debbie came through the dining room with her hands up saying, “Whoa, whoa, easy guys.”

Malachi came around the table from the other side and Will pointed the butcher knife at him, “No closer Nord.” Then demanded, “Where am I?”

“York County, Virginia.” Said Debbie taking another step.

“I know you. You’re Debbie Archer.” Looking toward Shewuma he said, “And you’re the Indian Kachina.” They all stood frozen for a few seconds until Will broke the silence. “You don’t know who I am, do you?”

Debbie took one more step. “Should we?” His thoughts were closed to her and Mal.

“I am Julrex Zanreck Marius of the Remus Magnus Clan, you can call me Will. I was in the service of Enkurial, Lord and Keeper of Divine Law!”

Debbie looked at Shewuma. “Holy shit Wu.”

“What Debs?”

“He worked for Portis!”

Luce asked, “Portis, Comista?”

“You know the Annunaki Commander…Scar!”

Shewuma headed straight for Will threatening, “I’ll kill you. You son-of-a-bitch.”

“Stop Wu. Wait! Why were you in the desert Will?”

“Portis left me there. He thought I was dead. We had a…falling out.”

They all watched fascinated as Malachi stepped up and bowed his head and began speaking in an unknown language.

“What’s he saying?” Wu asked Debbie.

Telepathically, Debbie explained to the group. “They’re speaking the Intergalactic Language of Peace. Mal is giving him a formal greeting and statement of amicable intent. It’s kind of like smoking the peace pipe.”

When Malachi finished. Will reciprocated in kind.

The humans exuded relief while Wu and Luce finally relaxed a bit.

“What are your intentions?” Debbie asked.

Will looked around the room and responded, “Survival.”

Debbie asked, “Are you hungry? We have steak.”

Will spun the knife and offered it to Debbie handle first, then smiled. “I’m ravenous.”