Beyond The Sea

Warning: Language, Stalking, Suicide

Credits of Lovefool: Nina Elisabet Persson & Peter Anders Svensson. 

Ocean waves ravaged inside her mind. It was the thought that soothed her. The trance sunk her deep into her spiral, one spin after the other, over and over until-

“One caramel macchiato!” an outside voice boomed and snapped her out of her trance. 

She glanced around the coffee shop counter to search for the source of the voice. A young man in a barista uniform waved the cup in his hand to catch her attention. “Uh, Julie?” he read the order’s name in monotone. 

“It’s Giulia, Giulia, you people never seem to get it right,” she enunciated irritatingly, snatching her coffee from the barista. “Ugh, whatever,” he muttered to himself, threw his hands up and walked away to begin working on his next order. Giulia, as she precisely pronounced, marched towards the exit and pushed the door with her back. 

Her name is Giulia Torrzano, 25 years old, sleek, shiny, ebony hair, dark olive skin, and chocolate brown eyes. Gorgeous by her own standards, brilliant by her own standards. A woman of her own renown, she worked harder than anyone she ever knew. Blood, sweat and tears poured into the essence of her job as a forensic auditor. To decipher the mistakes in life was not an easy task, and no one could do it better.

But reality was different, it always is. 

It has never once caught up with the true genius that she is. According to her, the truth stands on the bowels of her perspective and hers only. Anything else was deemed rather invalid or trivial. More so, she would categorize it as drivel from the boring and useless. 

One day, Giulia thought to herself as she was striding the downtown sidewalk, I’ll save money, get the hell out of here and sail around the world. She sipped her coffee with delight and chuckled to herself, soft at first but intense afterwards. 

With no regard for her surroundings, she bumps into another person and accidentally spills coffee all over them.

“Watch where you’re going!” the person scolded her.

“Oh, I am so sorry! Let me see if I have a napkin here or…” Giulia apologized, rummaged through her bag for napkins but paused herself when realizing who's morning she may have ruined. She lifted her head to gaze at a 5’ 10” goddess figure with honey blonde hair, a seamless smile, and hazel eyes. She wore a couture lilac blouse, black leather pants and ankle brown boots. 

Holy shit…is this Lana Peterssen? No, no, it can’t be. Doesn’t her new movie start filming for another 4 days? she thought to herself as she gaped incredulously at the movie star. 

“Uh, hello?” the woman called to Giulia while she wringed the liquid from her lilac blouse. 

“Right, sorry, here’s your napkin,” she gave the napkin to the woman and continued, “this may be the most absurd question but are you Lana Peterssen?”

“That’s me, yeah,” Lana nodded affirmingly as she ran her fingers through her hair swiftly. She then patted her shirt to dry it more quickly. 

“I’ve watched every movie of yours. And I barely even watch movies but I just love what you do! Is that even what I should say to someone like you? I-I don’t know, I’ve never met a…celebrity before,” Giulia rambled anxiously and giggled like a child. 

“Don’t worry about it. I was a goddamn mess when I met Meryl Streep. She called me ‘adorable’ and I could not take it. Actually, I fainted,” she comforted Giulia and her laugh was like the morning rain, gentle and trickling.

“So…what’s your name?”

“Giulia. Giulia Torrzano,” she extended her hand to the actor.

Lana straightened her blouse, caught Giulia’s gaze and shook her hand. “How about this? As an apology, I’ll take you out for coffee, replace the one you…spilled. There’s this really cute Italian place a couple blocks down here. Best coffee in town. Maybe I could take you to my set, show you around,” she suggested cheerfully.

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly impose. You’re too kind. I’m the one who ruined your shirt!” Giulia replied with a coy grin plastered across her face. 

“Come on! You said you’re a fan! Meet me at Fratelli’s, on Bailey Street at 7:30pm. Okay?” she lowered her gaze to meet eye level with Giulia.

A date with the one and ONLY Lana Peterssen?! This must be a dream, has to be. But I can’t say no to that! Wait, right, I can’t just disassociate. The woman needs an answer, Giulia discussed the situation in her head. 

“Yes, I’ll go!”

“Great! See you soon!” 

** ___ ___ ___ **** ___ ___ ___ ** ___ * ___ * *** *___** *___ ___ * *___*

Once arriving at her pastel-colored apartment, Giulia hastily opened her computer, unlocked it with her intricate 12-character password and began to browse the Internet. She launched herself on a research project of Lana, searching for details, clues, inklings of her life that she hadn’t been familiar with prior to their interaction. 

She knew about her interests: favorite foods and drinks, pet peeves, nuclear and extended family members, explored hobbies, career achievements, along with a somewhat reliable source of her dating history. What could she uncover about this woman that she hadn’t already been made aware of during a press tour interview in the last 10 years? The endless scrolling only brought forth more agony than relief or revelation.

“Think, think, think! There has to be some intel somewhere hidden…something that could help me understand her completely at the date,” Giulia spoke out loud as she typed vehemently into her device. The social media pages only reflected film promotions or sociopolitical awareness and their causes.

Suddenly, the mental fog departed.

An imaginary lightbulb lit above her head. An idea sprung loose. Perhaps not the best idea but according to Giulia, no better idea had ever been conceived to begin with. 

“I’m a genius, I’m a genius!” she sang her own praises. As she typed “Lana Peterssen court trial” on her keyboard, dozens of articles flooded her main page with headlines pinpointing the actress’ financial woes. Another search tab was opened as she perused through the legal team list, analyzing each profile gingerly. Giulia downloaded each profile from her company’s database to crack open any documents about Lana’s financial records (inconsistencies and patterns within) and the lawsuit she had struggled with for months with. 

“Bingo!” she exclaimed as she detected an embezzlement allegation along with a testimony drawn from a stenographer’s document as to why Lana’s upcoming film, the one the actress is in town for, should lift the ramp towards a financially beneficial situation. Lana’s lawyer had countered the claims with a conjecture of a false charge of his client. She abruptly applauds and slides her desk chair across the room. 

She steadied her stance before approaching her bedroom to change her clothes for her date would await her arrival.

*___ ___ ___ **** ____ ___ ___ ** ___ *___*

The restaurant’s scenery filled the air with culinary delight. Fratelli’s was hustling and bustling more than usual, the waiters shifting from table to table like the metal balls of a pinball machine. Velvet decor enraptured the room just as much as the live jazz playing did. Sitting serenely at the centermost table, Lana, in a black and pink floral dress, perused the menu in her hands with thin-rimmed reading glasses.

“Ring!” chimed the entry bell as Giulia made her entrance as dramatic as possible. She wore a cerulean blue jumpsuit with a designer belt tightly adjusted. Lana lowered her glasses to gaze at her date. 

“Wow,” they said in unison, then breaking into cacophonous laughter. Giulia sat herself down, propped her elbows, cupped her hands to her chin to stare lovingly at Lana. 

“What?” Lana chuckled, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“Nothing…just that you look way more gorgeous in person,” Giulia retorted with an exhale.

“Oh, I took the liberty of ordering you the coffee, if that’s okay,” Lana shrugged.

“Oh, it’s more than okay,” Giulia chuckled dryly as she took Lana’s hand into hers. 

They engaged in a heavily flirty and vivacious conversation, speaking back and forth faster than a ping pong match. Conversations about film, politics, pet peeves, among other topics as they dined and kept the table more lively than the entire room. Giulia erupted with laughter with every cheesy joke Lana told, which only made them both laugh even harder. Elation encapsulated the pair in a bubble they believed would never pop. That is, until the tone shifted and the conversation took a drastic turn with Lana’s burning question. “Okay, okay, enough about me, they’ll close this place if I keep yapping about my life,” Lana quipped with a wink.

She cleared her throat before delivering the question in mind: “So…what do you do for a living?”

“Me? You’re asking…me?”

“Yes, you! Who else, silly?”

“Well, I’m a forensic auditor. Oh, God, I know, sounds boring compared to what you do.”

“No, sounds interesting, tell me about it,” Lana gestured to Giulia to elaborate as she put the menu aside.

“Ah, I just check for any financial mistakes in some legal cases. Nothing too glamorous but it makes enough money for what I really want.”

“Which is?” Lana leaned across the table.

“To sail around the world,” Giulia delivered an earnest tone.

“Sail? Really? You got a boating license?” Lana inquired as the coffee arrived. Giulia took a sip from the cup and a delighted smile beamed from ear to ear. She sighed with satisfaction. 

“Yeah, my dad made me get one when I was 15. It wasn’t until I got my driver’s license that I realized how much more liberating it actually is to…drive on water. You can be everywhere and nowhere,” Giulia elucidated dreamily.

“That’s admirable, might even be good for a movie. Wait…how do you actually plan on doing this? Just hit it and quit it?” Lana scrunched up her face curiously, motioning exaggeratedly with her hands. 

“Oh, Lana, that takes time to plan. Mostly save up money, polish the boat but you know…you could join me,” Giulia eerily suggested.

“Join? How come?” 

“You know, you had that financial trial of yours. You had the embezzlement allegation but you were framed, they don’t believe you and the money coming in from this movie could save you...only you don’t know if it will,” Giulia replied nonchalantly.

“Excuse me? How did you…that is classified information. What did you say you do again?” Lana whispered furiously. 

Giulia slightly frowned but forced herself to maintain the composure of her smile and nonchalant attitude. “Oh, a colleague happened to be on the case,” she lied shamelessly and continued, “but don’t be mad at me, please. Let me make it up to you, come on.”

Scraping her chair and pushing herself out of it, Lana grunted and expressed: “This is fucked up, I can’t believe I let this happen”. She began to walk away in the utmost elegant fashion.

Gritting her teeth, Giulia’s hands began to tremble and her cheeks were flushing crimson red. 

“Wait!” she yelled out after the actor, her right arm extended dramatically. 

“What?”

Jazzy chords began to strum in the rhythm of “Lovefool” by The Cardigans. Without hesitation, Giulia pulled the actress onto the dancefloor. As the lead singer crooned, Giulia mouthed the lyrics: 

“Dear, I fear we’re facing a problem/ You love me no longer, I know/And maybe there is nothing/That I can do to make you do/Mama tells me I shouldn’t bother/That I ought to stick to another man/A man that surely deserves me/But I think you do!” Giulia pointed at Lana and pulled her closer as she swayed her hips. Lana was in a bitter state of confusion and pity, so she danced along, following her footsteps to avoid any further trouble. 

“So I cry, I pray and beg,” Giulia mouthed the singer’s smooth vocals with various histrionic expressions. “Love me, love me/Say that you love me/Fool me, fool me/Go on and fool me,” the crooner sang the chorus, on and on it repeated. 

“Leave me, leave me/Just say that you need me/I can’t care ‘bout anything but you,” Giulia passionately mouthed the lyrics and dipped Lana in the dance. An effortless spin towards the exit signaled Lana’s departure, which left Giulia devastated. In her mind echoed the last words her date spoke with such conviction in her vexation. What had she done wrong? Giulia’s head told her that her actions were harmless and an entirely normal reaction when it comes to approaching the romantic aspect of life. 

Does she hate me? she thought to herself earnestly and abruptly thrashed the table with formerly untapped strength. Plates were shattered (so were hearts) and food was splattered around her perimeter. Paused by the band, the music was cut off, leaving an awkward, deafening silence at the famed Fratelli’s. 

Two bodyguards approached Giulia to escort her out. She tossed the order’s money at her destroyed table and vaguely cooperated with the restaurant demands to flee the premises. 

___ *___ ___ ___ * ___ ___    ____**** * ___ ___ ___

Staring at the ceiling for the last hour had never become more comforting. Giulia had replayed the events of the night in her mind like she would with Peterssen films she liked a little too much. Only this time she was unsure if the purpose was for pleasure or pain. She was wrapped in her own world so devotedly that she had 18 unopened emails, three missed calls, two unheard voicemails, all from her boss, Mr. Dicesare.  

With a sluggish force to lift her spirits, she heard the first voicemail at 2x speed, a shrill voice rang her ears: “Giulia, I don’t know what to say. Coming late to work and then complaining when I do the same thing is one thing, but hacking the database to acquire information from the Peterssen case? Which, by the way, has NOTHING, nothing to do with our unit! As soon as you listen to this, it’s your last call. Screw that, come to my office first thing in the morning to pack your things. This is-” Giulia paused the recording and tossed her phone across her bed. 

I will pack my bags, she thought as she rose from her bed like the undead. Scouring through her closet, she pulled two black duffel bags to drag across the room and grabbed her keys. Closing her apartment, she had no time for any “goodbye” rituals or a mourning period. 

It was time to go.

Running against time, Giulia arrived at the pier, where her boat was parked at the dock. Tears streamed down her face as she untied the knots of her boat “Rusty” (named after her first dog). She fought against it but smiled through the pain solely by thinking that her dream at sea was about to come true.

Suddenly, a sweet voice called out to her. “Hey! Excuse me! Stop!” a sinewy silhouette waved frantically at her. Giulia slowly turned around, waiting for the figure to approach. 

“Hey, you can’t sail your boat around the bay until after today’s filming wraps at 10!” the person panted, then gasped when they caught a glimpse of it. Lana reluctantly locked eyes with Giulia

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Lana interrogated with spite. 

“Lana, you came back,” Giulia sighed relieved, leaning for a hug but Lana pushed away. 

“You stalk my money accounts and now you have the fucking guts to come down to where I work? You’re nuts! GET OUT! Get out before I call the cops,” she screamed vehemently and squinted her eyes at Giulia. 

“Lana, Lana, Lana…I’m so sorry. I’m going but I want you to come with me. Think of it, we had a great time, don’t you think so? I can escape the monotony of work while you forget all about the courtroom, film and live off of your savings. Please, I beg you,” Giulia knelt down and pressed her hands together, wailing madly. 

“Listen, I’m not going to fulfill whatever fantasy of yours you have. I can’t just leave everything to shit just because it is. You could get help, we all need it sometimes. I’m facing what’s out there, so why can’t you?” Lana spoke with tender reason. 

“I DON’T NEED ANYONE’S HELP! I’M FINE!” Giulia had already mounted the boat and started the boat’s motor. 

“IF YOU COULD JUST GET DOWN!” Lana yelled as she grabbed a rope that no longer tied Rusty the boat. 

“You’re leaving me no choice but to stay out there forever,” Giulia declared while choking between sobs. She steered the boat to the west and then straight on. Lana stared at the boat as it drifted off into the sunrise. By the time the boat became a speck in the distance, a colorful explosion detonated, leaving a warbled rainbow across the sky. 

There lay that one dream, somewhere beyond the sea.