So surreal.

“Come with us,” two burly men in grey suits say grabbing me by the arm and handcuffing me. 

“You know what you did .” 

But I had no idea. This had to be a huge misunderstanding. Was this really happening? Was I about to be thrown in jail for something I didn’t do? Perhaps it’s a sick joke? How can a man of my stature go through something like this! My brain flooded with thoughts. I simply was in denial because it felt like a dream. To my dismay it was real! 

“Do you know who I am?” I barked, rage had already engulfed me. For a moment, I too was stunned by my own reaction.

“You have a right to remain silent …” They responded with the cliche response we have gotten used to in the movies. They weren’t bothered one single bit about who I was.

I later learnt that the charges pushed against me was the death of Mr Sullivan!

The news hit me with a shock. First, that he had died and second that I allegedly was involved in it. I was thrown in a cell and the doors were slammed shut followed by a deafening silence. The cell was awful it stunk to the core, was a bit damp and I was afraid of even touching the wall lest my hands get dirty. As a slight breeze greeted me in there I felt my body quiver. I felt like I was losing my sanity but I quickly pulled myself together. My lawyer would arrive and all this would be sorted out.

Tired, I slid down the wall as I gathered my thoughts of how I got to this point in my life.

Since childhood I had been an ambitious boy. I did what many kids at that time feared to do and always outshone everyone in a group. Success followed me everywhere I went and I guess that it grew on me. My friends used to complain that I was so full of myself, my parents did caution me about my ego too but I just believed that they were jealous that they didn’t do what I did in such a young age. I was rash, truth be told my mouth ran faster than my brain which lead to me being involved in fights, in some cases I won and when I had my butt kicked then I would use my influence in one way or another to get even. I had a knack of getting things done my way I didn’t know how but I often did.

My girlfriend complained that I used to cheat on her with other girls and now that I think about it she was right ,kind of but not getting all physical couldn’t be counted as cheating right? Just playful words with complements here and there. Needless to say we broke up and my other relationships faced similar fates. Once I had had my fun I decided to settle down and marry. She was quite a catch and I was full of myself when we got envious stares from my friends. I knew deep down they wanted to live the life I had. Did I forgot to say I was a very rich man? My businesses were doing breakthroughs after breakthroughs and the money rolled in. Soon I could splash them in exotic vacations, cars, a mansion etc you name it I had it. 

After a while I wanted more so I set my sights on running for gubernatorial seat.

It took up most of my time. I used to get up early and return late. My wife complained that I was a workaholic and not around especially the fact that we had our daughter just a few months ago. I brushed it off and believed that she was just being melodramatic as usual.

In my latest project, I was well underway in making my dreams a reality. The competition was stiff. Some would say cut throat stiff but I rose up to the challenge. When news reporters asked what I thought of my other competitors I scoffed at them vividly stating I had not seen anyone on my level yet and I would win in a landslide.

However, I did find someone who had me on edge. His name was Mr Harry Sullivan. This was a guy who had everything together; articulate, well educated had a stellar team and moved the crowd with his speeches. I on the other hand felt my team was slacking off. I became harsh and strict because I had poured money into this and was not about to lose to anyone. I fired my running mate because I believed he wasn’t as invested as I was. Back home I started to believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that my wife might be cheating on me! Just to add salt to the injury. I was fuming and confronted her about a guy she used to talk to.

“He’s just a friend!” She shot back.

“Just a friend! Just a friend! Don’t you have other friends? What about your girlfriends?” I asked.

“What! Am I not supposed to have any male friends? You can’t control my life!”

“Do you know who I am? You can’t talk to me like that! I made you to be who you are now, without me you are nothing!”

“You are the one to talk, what about the women you talk to on your phone? Is that why you are so secretive and the reason your phone is ever with you?” She said glaring at me.

“So you have been going through my stuff!”

With anger boiling I raised my hand. She was shocked because for the first time I almost hit her. 

“Are you going to hit me now? Is this what you have become?”

Slamming the door behind me I took a walk to cool things off. I went to the bar and decided to find my solace at the bottom of an alcohol. I was so enraged I began talking to anyone who gave me an ounce of attention. Whether they listened or not , whether my sorrows resonated with them or not was none of my concern I just blabbed away.

When my sanity finally came back. I went back to work. I found a new running mate named William Simons. We clicked from the get go and I found great friendship in him. We even shared our hate for Mr Sullivan. The so called saviour. We used to joke. One day William gave me the bad news that there was a riot at a fundraiser we had planned not that it had anything to do with helping the society only that our Public relation manager encouraged us to demonstrate our good side to gain the public’s approval. The culprit was Mr Sullivan’s supporters. William further told me that it had been organised to frustrate our campaign.

“So he wants to play dirty huh?” I thought and here I believed this guy had standards. 

“We need to retaliate just say the word and I’ll do it .” William said with determination.

“Fine do it but make sure it doesn’t get back to us .” I said without a second thought. Just like that and the shadow game had begun.

The following day news headlines were a washed with the news that Mr Sullivan’s base of operations were vandalized by unknown people. I was to appear in public to show my” deepest concern” and “lend a hand ” as Mr Sullivan was also to make a public speech. It was while he was on the way that he was shot and died.

In court my lawyer put up very strong arguments. He was the best money could buy. The plaintiff however, provided startling evidence that proved our case null and void. First there were witnesses who saw and overheard me in my drunken stupor ranting how I wished Mr Sullivan would die because he was a thorn in my side. I wanted so much to slap myself in the face. What a huge pit I had dug myself in, for the first time I wished the ground to swallow me whole. The case dragged and I would still find myself in the dark cell I was in. 

The biggest shock was when William testified against me in court saying I had ordered him to vandalize Mr Sullivan’s head of operation moreover, I had threatened him and his family! The betrayal hit home hard, I felt like I had been stabbed and the blade twisted vehemently. 

“Lies! I can’t believe you are listening to this guy!” I shouted not knowing losing my temper would not help me at all. My lawyer advised me to be silent.

The judge called the court to order and the verdict would be delivered in the next hearing.

Back to the hell hole I went. I was losing it big time. I became a shell of my former self. My so called friends abandoned me. I guess I didn’t have friends, maybe they were just there for the money. My wife filed for a divorce before the ship sunk. She came to let me know she was leaving me and for me not to bother searching for her.

I begged and pleaded because I had no one else. My parents had died years ago I had no friends at the moment and she was taking away my sweetheart.

That’s when she laughed it off asking where was I when our daughter was growing up. Where was I when our marriage was developing cracks, how is it I almost hit her … She said I should call one of my very many women I had.

I confessed my love to her and asked her if she believed I could be capable of doing such a heinous act. She paused, looked at me straight in the eyes as if to my soul and said she couldn’t tell anymore. I had changed so much or was it her that failed to notice it earlier. My heart sunk as she finished, carried our daughter and walked away. All I could do was just watch. Still in bewilderment, I held the phone waiting as if she would come back. The guard had to drag me away. It was at that moment I realised I had lost a part of me.

The verdict came out unanimously guilty. I was sentenced to prison for 30 years. My business empire later crumbled as the king had fallen. I was transferred to another prison where life was just one living hell. In my thoughts I was in my own world. I remembered when I used to look at my friends with contempt, exploiting every opportunity I got to make them feel lesser than me. In all honesty it was I who was a bad friend not them. I had been clouded by my wealth. I remembered when I almost hit her. The look on her face said it all. She really did fear me! I shuddered as I realised what a monster I was becoming. My focus then shifted to my daughter. My poor angel would grow up not knowing his father. I cried when I remembered how I took it for granted not being there for her and not taking my time to play with her.

Year by year my hopes dwindled and finally were snuffed like a candle flame. I had accepted my new reality there was no life for me beyond these concrete barbed walls.

One day, a man said that he wanted to reopen the case. I was surprised. I told him not to bother himself but he renewed my hope in getting justice. I didn’t think much of it and believed that history would just repeat itself. He argued that William was the true perpetrator and that one of his thugs had ratted him out after a fallout to ease his sentencing. It was also suspicious that William had ties to Robert Bernard who won the gubernatorial seat and connected the dots to him. With Robert in, William’s businesses grew tenfold almost overnight which raised eyebrows. After a tedious back and forth when all hope was lost I was finally declared innocent.

By now I had served 17 years! I thanked the lawyer profusely and felt awful because I couldn’t pay him only with my meagre words. Tears flowed profusely because he had been the only guy who had not given up on me when everyone had. My time there had really humbled me and given me a new perspective in life. For a while that prison was all I knew. I was so overjoyed that when I was out, the grass never felt greener, the sky never so brighter … I removed my shoes just to feel the grass brushing up my sole. I felt reborn when my happiness faded then reality hit me. I took a seat on the park’s bench. I watched families together, couples holding hands, teenagers jogging, dogs chasing frisbees. It dawned on me that I had lost a huge chunk of my life. Where would I start? I was at my lowest I didn’t know what to do or even make with my life. I wished I could go back, I wish I could give my younger self the wisdom I have now. Finally, as I got up and started walking I decided to emulate my life in that manner. One step at a time.