International Spy

I've just received a letter, a letter in the mail.

The letter asked that

I

Join the League of the International Spy.

Yes, you heard that right. Me.

A spy.

Internationally.

The first one in my family.

What an honor, what an achievement. They've asked me to keep it a secret.

So, it's important that you don't tell anyone, not a soul. If you do - I'll find out.

When I'm in my next role.

What's that, you ask? Well, let me tell you - I've been thinking of a plan - but keep it between us two.

I will quit my job at the bank. No more bank telling for me. No telling at all. No, sirree.

I will simply tell my boss that I've had enough and I won't be back. I'll tell him that

I.. have been requested

Internationally.

For international affairs.

He wouldn't understand - this bank's locations are regional-ly.

He wouldn't understand me, international-ly.

I can't tell him the truth. I won't. And if you are thinking of, don't.

He may ask me to stay.. but I'll have to say

I'm leaving, and that's that.

Leaving... to be an international spy - an expat.

I must keep it a secret. And so must you. But there's more I must do before I bid you adieu.

I'll simply take the money out of my bank drawer and be on my way. Spies are allowed to do that, especially on their last day.

I will sell my house - I won't need this old thing.

Goodbye, squeaky floorboards and coffee table covered in rings.

Goodbye, toilet seat up, and wet towels on the floor.

You've been a good house - but I won't need you anymore.

The house should be easy to sell once the buyer knows who used to live there.

A worldly figure, a hometown hero.

The famous international spy.

About whom, they are sure to care.

Maybe they will make a sign in the town square. 'Here lived Molly, the international spy from here and... nowhere'.

Maybe they will have a parade or a Molly Day Dance, and kids will dress up as me for Halloween in stealthy spy gear with a pipe and international pants.

If you were thinking about telling anyone, don't! This must remain on the down low - I know you will be tempted once I figure out where internationally that I'll go.

But, as for the house...don't worry - I'll have a place to live. I'll buy a new house with the briefcases of money the spy job is sure to give.

Maybe a villa or a castle... it all depends on where I'll be. When I become a spy, internationally.

I will put my belongings on the curb and simply write 'free' -

and 'I'm leaving and going...I won't need these old things. Where I'm going they don't use blenders, mittens or couches. Where I'm going, they use things that are - international-ly'.

Remember - this is top secret. I feel you beginning to slip. You can't tell anyone, not a peep, not a pip!

Ah - yes. You are absolutely right, old friend. My clothes are too normal to pack and send.

They aren't fit for a spy and aren't fit for me. I'll need clothes that fit in more... internationally.

I'll need a new wardrobe from head to toe. I'll order the perfect spy trench coat, I think that is the way to go. One with pockets for my gear. One for my passport that... what's this....expired last year?

What? Well, yes, yes, of course. That won't get me far - but I can't believe how wrong you are.

The League knows all about the expiration; of course, they know about this - I'm sure they have a new passport coming with a new name... maybe something Swiss.

Anyway, don't get me off track.

Where was I on my list?

Oh yes, the things I'll pack.

The trench coat will be delivered tomorrow - Amazon Prime - which will be just fine. Tomorrow's the day I leave to be an international spy; how divine.

I'll have to write my fiancé a note; he'll have to understand. He knows spying is something I love; he's seen it firsthand.

"It's been nice, " I'll write, "and thanks for the ring"... "but I'm where I'm going... a +1... I'm sorry, but I can not bring." "But still have the party, I know you've invited your family; however, I will not be joining as I'll be internationally".

I'll leave the ring on the table and leave out a bowl of food for our cat, Flea.

I'll sure miss him from internationally.

My parents will be so proud of the spy they conceived. And saving all that money on the wedding?

I'm sure they will be relieved.

One last thing I'll do to make this complete. I will write one final farewell tweet.

"Goodbye, old life - hello, new - for all of you that thought I couldn't do it - shame on you. I'm off tomorrow; tomorrow's the day - to do what, I really can not say.

But follow along on my adventures - go to my new secret account @mollytheinternationalspy" #spy #spylife #international".

Done. I'm all set. Internationally, it is waiting. There's no more time for planning and endless debating.

And, as for you - someone I need to be sure I can trust.

Keeping this a secret is not a recommendation.

But a must.

Please promise you'll rip up this note and throw it away.

If anyone asks you about me - just simply say

"I don't know where she's gone, but she will not be returned."

I know, maybe throw this note in the fire so all written proof will burned.

Oh no, don't cry. You mustn't be envious or blue. Remember, I wasn't always an international spy

Once, not too long ago - I was just like you!

Now stop all that. I'll miss you, I will. I promise I'll write.

But remember, please don't tell anyone...

except maybe the priest who will be waiting for me at the altar tomorrow night.

Yes, he can keep a secret. He's sworn, just like me

to international spy

secrecy.