The First Sin.

Submitted into Contest #140 in response to: Write a story that involves a flashback.... view prompt

2 comments

Fantasy Fiction Horror

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

"Why do you weep, my child?"

Asked a mysterious voice that echoed all around the dark sewer tunnels. Loray stopped crying and opened his eyes, startled by the question. He turned left and right but saw no one, making him wonder if he had lost his sanity.

"Why do you weep, my child?"

Asked the voice again. Loray looked down and saw a single red eye staring at him from within a puddle of dirty water. The eye seemed to look deep inside his soul and ponder at his depths. Loray jumped away and as he knelt facing away, he placed his hands on his ears and said:

"You're not real. You're not real. 'Tis a dream. Only a dream."

"It is not and you know it, Loray." The voice echoed inside Loray's head but he kept on muttering the same words as before.

"I am real. Just as the walls around you. Just like the floor beneath you. Just as the blood inside you.

Your God has abandoned you, child, but my love, unlike his, is unconditional.

Fear me not, for I am but an ally."

Loray heard those words and as he turned around, took his hands off his ears.

"Come, my child. I shall answer the questions that fog your mind."

Loray stood up and walked fearfully towards the mirage and simply asked:

"What are you?"

"I am an angel, I am daemon, I am life, I am death, I am a friend and foe alike. It all depends on who asks."

"What are you for me?"

The eye kept quiet for a second and answered:

"I am salvation."

Loray cleaned some tears off his face before taking a step closer and carefully sitting down in front of the puddle, always gawking at the eye.

"Why do you weep, my child?"

Loray thought for a second and said:

"I am a monster. That's why."

"And who has deemed you as such?"

Loray’s eyes filled up with tears and began to weep once again.

"You, my child, have been blessed by the power of my own hand.

You are now stronger, faster and more powerful than they could ever dream. You hold the power of gods.

Your kind deems you a 'monster' but monsters aren't worthy of mine blessing."

“I am a monster! I know it!”

“You were hungry, my child. It is only natural you ate. “

Loray began to shed tears and said in an angry tone:

“But I killed my mother! I killed her…”

“That sin rests upon my hands alone. Your power comes from mine flesh. Your blessing was the first Sin to ever be committed by God and man alike.”

Loray thought for a second and cleaned the tears in his eyes with his dirty sleeve as the eye continued:

"Do you wish to hear a tale, my child?"

"I am not a baby, anymore."

Said Loray with a bit of pride in his words.

"Yet this is not a tale for the young. This...is a tale of yore. A tale known only by the gods."

Loray's face changed with interest as his curiosity got the best of him.

“Come closer, then, child.”

He simply nodded and came closer to the mirage. Suddenly, the eye, twisted in form and instead, a bunch of images appeared.

"Our tale begins with a simple man. His name was "Memnon". A king of a kingdom long but forgotten. Memnon was a mighty king of a mighty empire. The greatest warrior to ever wander the lands. With him at the helm of the greatest army to ever live, he conquered far and wide. His power stretched to the horizon and beyond.

However, as time passed, he saw his power wither away but his stubbornness was the seed of his own destiny. He decided to neglect his death and chose to find a way to live forever. A daring defiance to the Gods and the heavens themselves.

And so, he spent years searching all over the world for the "Primordial flame".

"What is that?"

Asked Loray with excitement in his eyes.

"The Primordial flame is what gave life to this world and is what gave the Gods their immortality. However, the longer they watched him, the warier they grew of Memnon's efforts and so, they all chose to turn their backs on him.

Monsters, demons, apostles and even angels were sent to stop Memnon but no one could. His armies and him proved to be powerful enough to even challenge the heavens.

Finally, after the longest journey any man has endured, our hero and his legions reached the deepest part of this world to where he would find the Primordial flame. However, in their efforts to stop him, the Gods created the greatest fortress the world has ever witnessed. “The Citadel of Embers.” A fortress of walls and towers carved out from the stoutest and strongest stone and keeping the gates were the legions of the heavens and leading them was Deimos, God of fire.

While most of your kind would flee at the sight of a God falling from the heavens, Memnon stood stoic at the sight and smiled. He knew the Gods feared him enough to face him, and so, the greatest battle this world has ever witness took place within the darkest depths of it.”

“And what happened to Memnon?”

Asked Loray with wide and bright eyes. The eyes of a child.

“Memnon and his legions fought valiantly and Memnon fought hand to hand against a God. The fierce fight was like nothing we had ever witnesses, yet, against all odds, Memnon managed to kill Deimos. His spear pierced the God’s heart and his fall brought the defeat of the heavens. Without leadership and disperse, the legions of heaven ran in disarray as Memnon finished them all. He was finally unopposed. The cries of victory of him and his legions sent shivers down the spine of the Gods.

Unfortunately, in their desire to stop him, the heavens unleashed a monstrosity that made even the Gods...tremble. The Behelit. A monster not of this world. Created only to destroy.

The battle that took place within the depts of the world shook even the heavens. The Behelit destroyed the Citadel yet, Memnon and his legions stood their ground and fought bravely to the bone but-in-the-end, they were nothing but simple men.

The Gods celebrated his downfall, however, as I stared from the heavens, I saw Memnon crawl over the corpses of his men and towards the beast. His eyes burning red in fury; his wielding arm broken, his shield-arm missing and holding his sword with his mouth, like a blood-lustful beast. He still wished to fight. And so, the first sin came to be. I went to him and blessed him, like you are now.

He ate from mine flesh and drank from mine blood. And so, his powers grew enough to slay the beast. That was the first sin.

In a defiant act against my kin, I then guided Memnon to the altar of the Primordial flame and saw him take but an ember of it. That was the second sin.

The Gods were furious and unleashed a rain of fire upon his kingdom and all of his lands, erasing a third of the world in the blink of an eye and locked Memnon in the chamber of the Primordial flame for all eternity. However, before he was imprisoned, he gifted me the ember of the Primordial flame and asked me to gift it to your kind.

He defied the Gods, the heavens and all because of a selfish act, yet, his last wish was one of selflessness.”

Loray saw his hands. Dried blood still tainted them. He then turned to see the eye and asked:

“So, I am not a monster then?”

“Far from it, my child. You are flesh of my flesh and born of the Primordial flame. You now stand in between mortals and Gods. You…are an Undead.”

Loray looked at his bloody hands and turned back to the eye.

“But…why did I killed her then?”

The eye kept silent for a moment and said:

“That is mine fault and mine alone. When Memnon ate and drank from mine flesh, there was a consequence not even the gods could foresee. “The Red Lust” That is the name thine kind has given it.”

“So, that means…”

“You now crave the flesh and blood of thine own. The result of the first sin.”

Loray’s eyes sunk and without muttering a word, he stood up and walked to a dark corner. He sat down facing away from the mirage and said:

“I am a monster. This is no blessing. This is a curse. The curse of the “Red Lust.” The Gods have punished me because of my poor faith in them.”

“They ignored your prayers, neglected your love and when you consumed out of hunger, that is when they turned their back on you. They demand blind and utter love yet they neglect you from ever receiving it.”

“Shut up.”

Loray covered his ears and lowered his head, trying to ignore the eye’s voice.

“Your mother prayed day and night. She made them offerings and all that she ever asked for was your well-being! They never answered. They never helped her. They all ignored her. They are all but selfish Gods.”

“Shut up.”

“I have pondered deep within thine soul, my child.”

“Shut up.”

“I see the grudge you hold against mine kind.”

“Shut up.”

“You have grown resentful of us Gods and I know it. I can feel it. Your blood boils with disdain at each word I mutter. Why didn’t you help us? Why didn’t you bless us? Why did you all forsake us?”

“Shut up!”

“I feel the bitter desire you have to reciprocate their false love with hate. You wish to take vengeance. We are but the same. I wish nothing more than you do.

They sit atop of their white towers, pondering at thine kind, as a child ponders at ants and ignore your orisons. They could fix the problems of this world in the blink of an eye, yet they chose to simply watch from afar.”

Loray kept silent for a moment and asked:

“And why didn’t you help us then?”

A bleak silence was shared between the two and the eye answered:

“You never prayed to me, my child.

The Gods above have made sure thine kind forgets about mine existence. They destroyed mine shrines, killed mine children and burned mine memory of thine history.”

Loray turned with red burning eyes and asked:

“Answer me this. Can they be killed? Can I kill a God like Memnon once did?”

The eye kept silent as it stared deep inside Loray’s eyes.

“Yes. But the price to pay is high. Too high for some.”

Loray stood up and walked slowly towards the mirage. He stared at it with red burning eyes. Full of hate, anger, resentment.

“What is the price?”

“Your humanity.”

Both shared a silent moment. Both gawking at the other and thinking to themselves. Finally, Loray saw his bloody stained hand and said:

“I have already paid that price.”

“Then I shall teach you the ways of killing the Gods above. Together, we shall bring hellfire and retribution to the heavens.

Kneel, my child.”

Loray knelt down never taking his sight away from the eye.

“Memnon has been forgotten by thine kind but thine name shall echo through millennia for I name thee…Marquis de Loray. The God-slayer.”

Loray’s left arm suddenly began to glow and ancient runes in a forgotten language marked his arm all the way to his shoulder.

“Mine favor is yours. You are now mine apostle. Rise, Marquis. Thine time is nigh.”

Loray stood up and his eyes had changed. His left eye burned green with fury and his right burned red with hatred.

“Find the book of Agatha. You shall find the secrets of God-slayer weapons. Assemble an army. The largest you can muster and prepare to wage a war that shall dwarf that of Memnon’s.

The heavens shall pay for their misdeeds done to us all. Their derelict shall be their downfall.”

Loray bowed at the mirage and said:

“Yes, my Lord.”

April 06, 2022 01:04

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2 comments

Naomi Coffman
00:32 Apr 15, 2022

I love any story with a hint of the supernatural and you do a great job of jumping into the story without giving us all the background or context. I would watch out for some spelling and grammatical issues, and add some more non-dialogue. How is Loray moving? How can we see his distress? Great job - keep writing!

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Jeannette Miller
14:46 Apr 11, 2022

Dark and supernatural! The story content is strong with a solid character arc for Loray. Well done! (It would have been cool to have Loray in regular font and the God in italics to make it more otherworldly and differentiate between the two.)

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