Hidden Scars

Ayala stood there, unable to block out the dull roaring in her head. Picking up the pen again she scribbled on her paper, the pen’s ink coming out in a strangled string of letters. She could barely read, let alone write out the alphabet. Her awful handwriting was soon stark against the crisp white paper. Her alpha’s words echoed through her head, “you will learn to read. Libraries are full of books, telling scores of powerful and even dangerous knowledge, and is a vital tool to maintain”. Zeev had told her nearly an hour after finding out she was barely educated. Ayala growled at him in outrage, knowing she had to obey. At eighteen, Ayala was ashamed that she was the oldest in the pack of shapeshifter wolves to have never been educated. Joining the pack she kept the secret hidden, for fear of getting kicked out of the only family she knew and loved. Toeing the plush carpet beneath her an hour later, she eyed Zeev’s writing, taunting her at the top of the page. His lettering, neat and beautiful as the purple flush of dawn. Shaking, Ayala penned over the lettering only to look at the dreadful outcome. The taunt ink shone up at her. Her handwriting, truly awful. Cringing at the sight she set down the pen, giving up on her wasteful task. “I wouldn't do that if I were you” Zeev voiced, startling her, turning scarlet from embarrassment. Zeev stood behind her in the overhang of the door, watching her struggle to get the few letters out onto the page. “Do what? I decide when I’m done. I am not a dumb pup. I recall you said learn to read and write, not when” she snarled at him. He chuckled like he found her amusing. Even in his human form, Zeev was deadly. His dark eyes sparkled down towards Alayla; lazily roaming over her. With a smirk, he said, “Do as you please Ayala, but mind you, do not forget you were a full-blooded human before you were crafted in”. Ayala held his authoritative stare, Zeev, surprisingly looking away first. “When can I get back on duty?” She ground out. “When you finish with the work I gave you,” he said, eyebrows raised. A blazing fire shone behind her eyes. Taking his focus off her, Zeev tsked and turned for the bookshelf, picking out a book blemished with letterings on it. Anger and annoyance simmered beneath her skin. If she could not have learned this simple task as a child, what made her able to do it now? The craft reminded her of the mortal world, her mind circling back to the near to nothing education she had acquired. Thinking of her childhood, a whimper escaped her, the memory of her human tasks simmering in her thoughts, the things she was forced to do as a child; as a slave, haunted her. Zeev’s pointed ears only flinched at her whimper. She had no intention of learning how to read and write, too much reminded of her past, which spilled upon her like a trembling flood. Turning back to her paper, the alienated language had her mind reeling. She traced the swirls of Zeev’s beguiling letterings again. With the human-like writing, a haunted memory flashed through her. Ayala remembered the crack of the whip coming down on her in the mortal realm. She still bore the scars when she wasn't in wolf form. Her stomach coiled with unease, she couldn't do this. Rubbing at a jagged scar along her thigh she tried to slow the tears forming in her eyes. One, slipping away, spilled from her onto the paper, splaying the ink she spent her precious time sketching. Grief and anger surged over her. Glowering, she ripped the paper in half wanting nothing more than to be on duty with the pack, so desperately craving for her frustration to fizzle out. Huffing, she pushed back her chair. As she stood, a warm hand landed atop her shoulder. Ayala looked back to see Zeev towering over her, his eyes on the paper she left in pieces on the study's table. Thick lashes brushed up against her cheeks as she lowered her silvered, violet eyes. She fought the urge to walk out of the study. “You seem to be lost, Ayala. Let me help” Zeev said, his voice low. “I don’t want your help,” she said, baring her snowy white teeth. She went on and said, “You don’t understand, this craft is from the human world, and I will have nothing to do with that.” She spat. Ayala said it like a curse, a string of words, that, with any thought, would turn her tongue leaden. She tried to mask those scars that tormented her mind. Had always kept a mask up, shielding herself from people who might see how utterly messed up she truly was. But Zeev’s eyes had no inkling of judgment in them, it only shone with concern; pity even. The same look her sister gave her when she was murdered by the savages that ruled the mortal realm. Zeev waited for her to accept his help, of which she was too stubborn to say yes. Yet, for only her sister, Ayala would do this for, the only one who had truly loved and cared for her. Caving, from the weight of Zeev’s stare, Ayala said yes. The evening sun dusted the vaulted ceilings from the massive windows as she took a seat opposite her alpha. Zeev held scores of knowledge for someone not much older than her. He took out another piece of paper scribbling more words unto it for her to trace over. With gracious sweeps from his hands, he wrote out a sentence for her to trace over. She vaguely knew the sounds of each letter but cursed herself for not knowing what the words translated to. Handing over the paper, Zeev watched her, as her pen glided over his letters. Finishing the sentence she clucked her tongue as she handed him the paper, satisfied that she was done. “Oh, you're not done Ayala darling,” he said pushing the paper back towards her as if reading her thoughts. She scowled and said, “I’m not your darling”. Zeev just gave another one of his smirks, and said, “Go ahead, sound it out”. She rolled her eyes, only to hide her embarrassment of not knowing how to read. “Zz-ee-v-a, r-oo-c-k-ss, mm, m-yy, so-cc-kkss.” Ayala stuttered, surprising herself with what she knew. But she realized what she had just said, and turned red from embarrassment. “What? I didn't quite get that” Zeev purred, leaning towards her. “Zeev rocks my socks” she ground out, giving him a look that could kill. “Oh he does, does he?” It took all her concentration not to pummel her alpha’s face with her fist. She willed her eyes to shoot daggers at him. But his beautiful face only contorted with curiosity. Her alpha was one of the only ones who could get under her skin this easily. Taking the paper back, Zeev scribbled more words onto the paper. Sliding back the paper Zeev said, “What does this say?”. She refused to say the sentence, she felt like this was more of a game than a lesson. Instead of reading, she sneered, “Look Zeev, don’t frickin bite if you can’t freakin bark.” That took him by surprise she realized. Ayala gave an amusing smirk herself, knowing she caught her alpha in shock. “Fine, you want to play this little game of yours? Why don’t you write what you want to say to me on the paper” he said, with a challenging glint in his eyes. “Finnee, but just know that second place is just a nice way of saying you're the first loser,” She sneered, grabbing the pen from his hands, accepting his challenge. He just raised his eyebrows at the implication that he would lose. Ayala knew it was stupid of her to insult the alpha of the pack, but brushed the thought behind her. She wrote a message out, painstakingly slow, that felt like ages. Finally turning the paper around for Zeev to see, it read ‘You know, you are quite boring’ he only gave Ayala a delightful little smile. He grabbed the pen from her hand to retort the jab she made at him. Seconds later, rotating the paper. She skimmed her eyes over it, trying to make out what he wrote. She strained, trying to read out the writing, finally coming up with what it said. It wrote ‘Oh ya? And what makes you so exciting?’. Oh, this was definitely a game, one she was determined to win. She wrote out, faster this time, ‘What makes me exciting, Zeev, is that I have a personality, you, on the other hand, don’t’ Zeev just stared at what she wrote out, too stunned that she was talking to him this way. She wrote on, unable to stop herself, ‘ You think you're so much cooler than me, don't you’. She imagined the sneer that surely embedded itself in her writing. Zeev retorted with, ‘oh Ayala darling, I know I'm cooler than you’ Ayala’s eyes simmered with feral amusement. Grabbing both pen and paper, her heart skipped a beat. In a whirlwind of speed, she wrote, her pen flying over the page, not thinking if she spelled words correctly. ‘If you're so much cooler than me, then that must make me a lot hotter than you.’ He rotated his head to read what she wrote and gave a dark chuckle. Zeev finally spoke, breaking their silent conversation “Indeed Ayala, indeed”. She paled, not wanting to look further into his words. With Zeev writing another sentence, she thought of another jab, but came up short. Tilting her head, Zeev wrote out ‘your so very pale Ayala’ at least she thought that's what the letters wrote out. But oh did she have a perfect comeback. Snatching the paper and pen from Zeev she wrote under his writing, ‘I rather be pale, Zeev, than look like I rolled around in Dorito’s’ Ayala wrote, remembering the human food she once had in the mortal realm. Zeev, reading her messy handwriting just tipped his head back and laughed. Ayala never actually saw this side of her alpha. “Hmm-mm '' Zeev's second in command cleared his throat, startling her from behind. “Apologies for interrupting Zeev, but, there's um, a situation I need you to look at in the third sector” Zeev stood up so fast, his chair nearly knocked to the ground. “Yes I’m on it,” with the dismissal in Zeev’s voice, his second, stalked out of the room. It almost seemed that Zeev was embarrassed because he was caught laughing. Pure power rippled off him in waves when he said “Keep practicing”. They held eye contact as he turned away. Zeev soon flashed a stark white and prowled out of the room in his wolf form. She turned back to the paper, their silent conversation taking up the entirety of the page. She was surprised, the writing reminded her not of the human realm but of Zeev. She saw another side of her alpha, one that he had never let anyone see; he created an inside joke, a connection between them, like the connection between her sister; and for that, she would keep practicing. 

Zeev:

Handling the commotion down in the third sector left Zeev exhausted. With stars now shining down on him like street lamps, he trotted to his private study where he left Ayala hours ago. Drenched with sweat, and still in wolf form, he shook off his remaining moisture and shifted into his humanized form, running his tongue over his now slightly elongated canines. Walking into his estate, Ayala’s scent still lingered in his halls, her sweet honeyed smell consuming him. She seemed to have known how to write and read all along, but appeared like it was a long-forgotten skill for her. Zeev didn’t know much about her past, only that she had fled the human realm, narrowly escaping execution. Watching her attempt to write tore at Zeev’s heart with how much heartache shone in those violet eyes. He was determined to fix the pain lingering within her; even if it meant fighting his own feelings he felt towards her. It was dangerous for an alpha to be attracted to a half-breed like Ayala, for fear of ending the mighty bloodline; not to mention how the wolf pack's connection would be severed apart. Why did he want things that he couldn't have? That has the power to destroy life? He felt stupid for even paying attention to his feelings, knowing it would just get him in deep trouble. He had always stayed his distance from Ayala, until now, when she needed help, and was surprised at how stunning she was up close. How her voice drifted towards him like the head of a dandelion, and how her scars made her cunning, like a mountain lion; afraid of nothing and no one. Her eyes were like living flames in shadow when they bore into him. He promised himself he would stay his distance after he taught her. But he was still on thin ice, no, a blade, he realized because that would be his punishment. Walking along a blade's edge was only fun until the blade stopped being a metaphor. But with how much she improved, and how he chased away the despair in her eyes, he couldn't help to be around her, if only for a short bit. Yet he had to be careful, couldn't get close with anyone, for the people he loved would just be weapons wielded against him. Zeev was intent to chase away those internal scars though, he would make sure of it. 

Ayala:

With a month into her studies, Ayala picked up her first book from the ancient library. She absolutely loved reading, something she didn't know until now. She would blaze through books each day, reading stories about people and places she didn't know existed until now. To her annoyance, Zeev made it routine to help her advance with her writing and reading. She sometimes yelled at Zeev occasionally, one time calling her life worthless because her sister was dead and she was not. He only lifted her chin and said to take control of that hardship, master her control on life, wield it into a skill, so she could use it whenever she was slipping from her own grasp. She now went by that. Ayala would read and write half the day, and stand guard the rest. Zeev’s eyes would always invariably kindle with a kind of warmth towards her too. Whatever kind of relationship she and Zeev had, reminded her of Valkyrie, her sister. Yet not with the grief that swarmed in her head if she spared a thought to V, but of the love; the compassion. Something she never knew she needed since Valkyrie, until now. Ayala now thought of her joyous memories with V, and not of the overwhelming grief that always overtook her because of that inevitable death. She never knew she bore that heavy weight of anguish on her shoulders, until Zeev managed to lift it off, which made her feel twenty pounds lighter. It was something she had never overcome, even after the years of Valkyrie’s death she would still be washed away with that despair until she was numb to her very bones. But not only could she read and write now, but the agony she always lived with, was washed away because of Zeev; and for that, she would be eternally grateful.

Story by: Shirah

-Side note-

This story is unique with the dystopian genre it has, (of which I’ve never seen in writing prompts like these). The main character also not only overcomes her mental block,- learning to read and write,- but overcomes something greater, which is the grief she felt towards her sister’s death. It took all the main character’s control to surpass her agony, metaphorically speaking, wielding it as a skill, to use, and slay any hardship that comes her way.