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Holiday Funny Horror

I’ve never believed in love at first sight, until I saw him standing there in that blood-soaked, white t-shirt. He even had that bit of blood on his chin and neck. The ghost face mask hanging from his back pocket was a nice touch. I had the biggest crush on Billy Loomis when Scream came out, and this guy looked just like him. Same gorgeous hair and brown eyes I couldn’t help but get lost in. Why do they pick such hot actors to play psychopaths? Maybe it’s to help us empathize with the victims and understand why they’d trust them. Still, there’s something a little gross about being so attracted to someone like that. 

I came to this party dressed as a witch, and Skeet Ulrich was also in The Craft as a love interest, so clearly this was all meant to be. At least, that’s the mental gymnastics I’d go through to make this meant to be. I stared at him longingly, hoping he’d notice me. Of course, it was his Stu Macher that approached me and whispered, “do you like scary movies?” 

I didn’t care much for this discount Matthew Lillard, but maybe talking to him would get me closer to his friend. “I do. My favorite’s Scream, actually. What’s yours?” 

Seeming to not even pick up on his own costume reference, he said, “The Conjuring.” 

“Oh, cool.” 

“You want a beer?” 

“Sure.” 

“I’ll be right back.” 

I laughed, but he looked so straight-faced I couldn’t tell if that was intentional. 

“This party’s kind of lame,” Amber said, sipping out of a red solo cup. She came dressed as Alice from some porno version of Wonderland. 

“That guy is really cute. Should I talk to him?” 

“Who?” Amber looked around the room, like she couldn’t find anyone cute. To be fair, most people did have masks. 

“That guy in the bloody white t-shirt. Billy from Scream.” 

“Kind of cheaped out on a costume there.” 

I rolled my eyes. “I’ve never felt this way before. My heart is racing faster than that time I practically OD'd on caffeine pills at that music festival.” 

“Don’t you think going after a guy dressed as a guy that tried to murder his girlfriend is a bad omen?” 

“No. This isn’t a horror movie. It’s a romcom. It has to be with how intense I feel. I’ll set up a meet-cute, like in the movies. Maybe accidentally bump into him and strike up a conversation as I try to wipe beer off his shirt.” 

“Well, I doubt he’ll care if you stain that shirt.” Amber took a long swig from her cup. 

“We’ll have a quirky, awkward conversation.” 

“That’s what you do best.” 

Monster Mash played and a line of ghosts, Frankensteins, and Chuckies formed in the center of the room to dance. 

“He’ll ask me out.” I yelled over the song, which someone had turned up the volume on. “Things will go well for a while. Then there’ll be an unfortunate misunderstanding. Probably some jealousy issue because his Stu seems to like me.” 

“Who is Stu?” Amber looked disgusted and pointed to a condom floating in a bowl of pink punch behind us. 

I’m pushed forward into Amber, who quickly threw out her arms to catch me. The remainder of her drink sloshed out of the cup. Once I regained my balance, I whirled around to see a man in a black cloak. 

“I’m so sorry. So sorry. I tripped on … “ He turned and pointed to a thick black snake slithering across the floor. Amber and I screamed and jumped back further out of its way. 

“I think it’s a prop. Not real,” the man said, but it looked too real for the words of a stranger to convince us. Then he added, “Hey, I’m a warlock.” 

“Okay?” I wanted to say what the fuck is your point, weirdo snake man

“You’re a witch, right?” 

I wasn’t sure what he was saying. 

“I’m a warlock. You’re a witch–” 

“Look, my friend and I were having an important conversation.”

“Oh, sorry.” The man looked confused, but walked away. 

I turned to see Amber rolling her eyes. “I know, that guy–” 

“This face isn’t about him. That warlock guy is super cute and was totally trying to talk to you. Weirdly, with your own approach.” 

I groaned. “Anyway, forget about that guy. As I was saying, I’m in the perfect rom com set up, and going by rom com rules–” 

Amber laughed. “Okay, Randy Meeks. At least you’ll make it to the sequel.” 

“I don’t know why you won’t support this. His being dressed as a killer means nothing. We’re at a Halloween party. I saw you talking to a hockey mask guy earlier.” 

“Ugh! That mask is doing that guy some serious favors. Almost puked when he took it off.” Amber shook, clearly repulsed by the memory. 

“I’m going to talk to him. Ask him to … dance?” 

“Ha! I bet that guy can dance. Have fun.” 

“What does that mean?” 

She flashed her best mischievous grin. “I’m getting some tissues before watching your rom com turn into a tragedy.” 

“Worst best friend ever.” 

Amber waltzed away, and Stu returned with the beer. It had taken him so long, I forgot about that whole thing. “Glad you made it back alive.” 

“They’re running short. Practically had to kill for the last two.” 

He chuckled, but I shivered and stepped away. “Hey, thanks for this, but–” 

“I’ve always thought Halloween would be the perfect time to commit a crime. Everyone’s already in costumes. Mischief is breaking out all over the place, so cops already got their hands full. There’s too much going on for anyone to pay much attention.” 

“Okay.” 

“Like if you killed someone in a haunted house. Would anyone know it was real? They’d think it part of the show. Hey, they’ve got a haunted house out back. Want to go?” He chugged down the beer. 

Not with that lead up, dude. “I have to go to the bathroom.” 

“Cool. I’ll–” 

I took off before he could finish. Pushed my way through the crowd of monsters, ghosts, and killers. Saw my life flash before my eyes after almost walking into a real chainsaw. Who brings a real chainsaw? I didn’t see Billy anywhere, and now that I thought of it, I did have to go to the bathroom. When I joined the line, the person in front of me was that warlock. Lucky me. 

“Hey, it’s you!” He said like we were good ol’ pals. 

“The one and only.” 

“My name’s Scott. What’s yours?” 

“Nora.” 

He smiled warmly, and maybe Amber was right that he was kind of cute. 

“Do you know the party host?” He asked.

“No, actually. I came with my friend Amber. Maybe she knows.” 

“Yeah, I don’t know them either. Kind of a weird thing, but I keep asking that and no one seems to know them.” 

“Huh.” 

“They sure went all out on this party though. Haunted house, band playing out back, tons of free alcohol. Must be rich, I guess.” 

“Yeah, I guess. Kind of weird though.” 

“Let’s hope they aren’t some kind of weird psychos that led us into a trap. I mean this place is totally in the middle of nowhere, right?” He joked. 

It was in the middle of nowhere though. I complained about that on the whole, way-too-long, tree-covered way here. We must be miles deep in the forest, which sounds like …

“Holy, shit! We're in a horror?” 

The music stopped and the lights shut off. Everything got too dark to see anything, even your own hands in front of you. Then a blood-curdling scream pierced through the silence, followed by a chorus of other screams. 


October 13, 2022 20:15

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14 comments

Graham Kinross
11:22 Oct 26, 2022

“I’ve never believed in love at first sight, until I saw him standing there in that blood-soaked, white t-shirt,” someone’s got issues… “there’s something a little gross about being so attracted to someone like that.” But at least they know it. “Alice from some porno version of Wonderland,” great line and too accurate, most girls and more and more guys. Great ending. Nice for the Warlock to lampshade it for the lead in. Can’t tell if it was better left to the imagination what happens or if I need a gory sequel that’s more like Chainsaw Mas...

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Annalisa D.
20:32 Oct 26, 2022

Thanks for reading. I do have some ideas for a possible sequel. Will see if I have time and if they develop well enough to make it worth it. Halloween costumes are weird haha do you do anything to celebrate? I like carving pumpkins and may try to do a ferret one this year.

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Graham Kinross
21:09 Oct 26, 2022

I just had a party at my preschool. I was a lame Peter Pan. My daughter came as Tinkerbell. One of my students was a packet of MacDonalds French fries.

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Annalisa D.
19:06 Oct 27, 2022

That sounds cute that you had outfits that went together. I don't think I've ever seen fries before. I wonder if food costumes are becoming more popular. I'm hearing more of them at least.

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Graham Kinross
20:46 Oct 27, 2022

They can be quite funny. He even had a QR code on the back like the real thing. Halloween is my favourite because everything can be a costume or a monster if it’s just made scary.

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Annalisa D.
18:08 Oct 28, 2022

That's true. Anything can be. That's cool. Did he make it himself or buy it? That'd be interesting if it really worked and went to Macdonalds if he did buy it. A creative way to advertise possibly.

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Eric D.
22:28 Oct 13, 2022

Oh no I need a direct sequel to this but it also works so perfectly to end it like that, that's so scary haha. Loved how it reminded me of every 90s or 2000s Halloween movie featuring a party I watched as a kid, there were lots of little funny moments of ridiculous things the MC commented on. I have a feeling her crush is the culprit!!

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Annalisa D.
22:34 Oct 13, 2022

Thank you! That's great to hear. Definitely a lot of Halloween nostalgia went into this. Maybe there will be a sequel so you can find out if you're right.

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Danny G
22:01 Oct 13, 2022

haha this was a great set up and a funny story. I liked Nora thinking it was a rom-com when everything pointed to the opposite. Nice work :-)

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Annalisa D.
22:02 Oct 13, 2022

Thank you! I'm glad you liked the humor.

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Aoi Yamato
01:11 Sep 01, 2023

Great story.

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Annalisa D.
14:47 Sep 01, 2023

Thank you!

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Aoi Yamato
00:46 Sep 04, 2023

welcome.

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