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Funny

My school was and still is the best in the town. Students from my school always topped the inter-school competitions of dance, debate and science exhibition. It was year 1994 when I was in ninth and I was good in studies. I always wore neatly cleaned and ironed clothes. My shoes were always cleaned and polished. Every teacher and school mates said about me that Mukesh is a good boy.

My school library had the highest collection of books in the town. It not only had regular study material but also it contained literature and novels. Anyone could have an account in the library, my elder sister was fond of reading and she always used to issue novels from the library, which many a time I also read.

On one fine day, it was the Geography class and my madam was about to start the class. My madam was short, always wore Sari and had a very beautiful voice. She used to sing in the school functions. She had thick hairs and she tried to make a bubble of her hairs over her forehead, so as to make her height appear more than it actually was.

She started to teach us about the Canadian Arctic Region. She explained how the temperature is mostly sub-zeroed and the people who live there are called as Eskimos. Their entire life is surrounded by water and ice. Even their home is made of ice called as Igloo. The most exciting thing madam told us about them was that Eskimos have seventy six different names for water in different forms.

“May I come in madam?” the voice from the door interrupted the class. Our school peon was standing in the door with some papers in hand. He was our favorite person and we used to talk with him a lot in our game periods and free time. He used to tell us many interesting stories. Sometimes he used to gift us with toffees too.

“Yes Dilip, please come in,” madam allowed him.

“Mam there is a notice from the principal sir for all the students,” Dilip informed and handed the notice over to madam to read.

Madam held it in the hand and started to read it aloud, “It is to inform all the students, that a school picnic is going to be organized for class 7th, 8th, and 9th standard students. This picnic will serve the purpose of teaching you about things other than your curriculum. This picnic will take place on 16th, 17th and 18th of next month and will include visits to five different places in these three days duration. The participation fee is Rs. 100.00 per head. So for further information and to join the picnic students are advised to visit Mr. Rao Sir.”

There was a look of excitement on the faces of each of the students in the class, because the picnic was going to be a great fun and a good change for everyone. Madam silenced the students and continued the class.

After the class was over it was a recess for five minutes and there was only one buzz in the classroom about the picnic.

I had friend in my class named Nilesh, who was the most fun loving guy and would keep cracking jokes even in the class. He used to ask the most stupid questions to the teacher and the reply of the teacher would be even more amusing. He and I had certain things common. We used to roam on the hills outside our town and used to spend some time together. We also used to read horror comics together.

Nilesh was so mischievous he once fell down while trying to climb a tree and broke his left arm in the elbow joint. His joint recovered after the treatment but since that time there was a permanent tilt in his left hand, which was physically visible.

He had a hardware shop of his father, where he used to look after the consumers, so his communication and negotiation skills were very good since childhood.

He always used to talk with loads of saliva in his mouth. Everyone needed to keep a safe distance from him when he was talking, otherwise he would sprinkle his saliva on our shirts. He was good in heart though, because he always used to share his tiffin with everyone.

“Nilesh will you join the picnic?” I asked.

He lowered his eyelids, raised his tilted left hand and moved his palm from his wrist in no. I got surprised to know that.

“I am not going because I am reading a book I issued from the library.” He said with saliva filled voice. “And there is a task that I need to complete with the help of the book as soon as possible. That’s why I won’t go.”

“Are you serious? When did you start reading books?” I asked with surprise.

“I will tell you later. But there is a lot in that book for you to read too.” he claimed.

“I don’t get what you are talking about, but I will read the book after you finish.” I added.

After a few days I asked him about the book, “Did you finish it?”

“Yes mostly and the job I wanted to accomplish has also been done.” He said with smile.

“You said there is something for me also in the book. What book is this anyways?” I asked curiously.

“We should not talk about this here in school. Let’s meet in the evening at your place.

It must be something special; I thought to myself and said ok to him.

In the evening he came to my house and after formal talk we went to the terrace.

“This is an ancient book of magic!” he said with suspense in his eyes, to which I thought he was joking. “The book has number of procedures and mantras by which we can achieve various things.”

“Stop talking rubbish buddy!” I said distastefully. “There is no such thing like magic. You are wasting your time behind something imprudent, and will waste your opportunity to go to picnic.” I spoke firmly.

“Any ways what were you saying you accomplished with this book?” I continued my question.

“I knew you won’t believe me, but I can give you the proof that the book is authentic. You know this book is called as Ravan samhita in Sanskrit. It has remedies to physical illness, ways to acquire wealth, attract someone or even take revenge against someone.” He said with shear confidence.

I was curious, scared and at the same time I was thinking this is all nonsense. But the way he was saying it, it seemed like he has accomplished something with this book.

“What is the proof that the mantras said in this book work? Did you try any?” I asked.

“Yes I did, and it worked.” He said with charm on his face. “Do you know Rafiq, the person with hardware shop as opposite to mine? He was telling my customers false things about me. When I confronted him he flatly denied, but one of my customers confirmed about the same.” He was speaking with anger.

“I used a magic spell from the book and he fell sick the next day.” He said with an evil smile.

“What are you saying? Really?” I exclaimed. “It could be a coincidence! I can’t believe such things until I see something myself.” I replied to him.

“OK then. Let’s do another magic which gains you wealth. If we do it successfully we can become wealthy instantly” he insisted.

“If that is so why you didn’t try the magic yet?” I asked him with disagreement.

“Because there is a specific tantra to be carried out before reciting any mantra. If we do the tantra correctly then only the mantra will work.” He explained. “For the wealth mantra we need to climb a banyan tree on sixth day after no moon, and no one should see or hear us. Otherwise the mantra is ineffective.” He elaborated. “Then on the tree we need to speak the mantra with utmost concentration and it will work.” He said with bold eyes. “I have already chosen a tree to do this and two days later is the sixth day after no moon.” He finished with the procedure.

We chose the evening time of seven after two days. The banyan tree Nilesh chose was on the hill outside the town, so no one would be present there at that time and the possibility of accidentally seeing or hearing us would be rare.

It was already dark and we were walking up to the hill. There was a lake where people of specific community used to breed fishes. We walked calmly beside the lake and we could hear the voices of toads and cricket insects. My heart was beating faster because it was complete dark.

Finally we reached the tree. “Now we need to climb the tree!” Nilesh uttered in low voice.

“Buddy, you climb first then I will know how to climb and I will follow you up.” I requested to Nilesh in very low voice.

So he grabbed the parts of the tree with two hands and put his foot on the tree trunk and started to push himself up. Then he put his second foot on the tree trunk and moved his right hand even further up. Slowly he kept moving his hands and feet upwards and finally climbed on a thick branch of the tree.

I watched how he climbed and now it was my turn to climb. I grabbed the tree with my two hands as Nilesh did and put my right foot on the tree trunk, then I pushed myself up but I slipped my foot from the tree trunk and fell down.

“What are you doing, hold the tree tightly with your hands and don’t take too much time or you will attract someone’s attention. Come on do it again!” Nilesh instructed me.

I tried again in the same manner but my feet kept slipping off the trunk. I tried to put my foot on different places but still it slipped.

“How much time you are taking? I climbed within a minute!” Nilesh got irritated with my foolish efforts to climb. “Wait I will come down and push you up.” He said as he climbed down quickly.

Again, this time I tried to climb and Nilesh grabbed me from behind and pushed me up. This time I succeeded to climb a step up and moved my hands upwards. Then I moved my feet upwards and now Nilesh pushed my butt upwards with his two hands. I climbed further and was very near to the branch Nilesh climbed. But now I didn’t know how to crawl on that branch.

“Mukesh why are you taking so much time, you are heavy as a buffalo! I won’t be able to hold you long.” Nilesh spoke with rough and pushing voice.

“Nilesh please push me once more, I will reach the branch.” I insisted.

He pushed me with all the energy left in him, and at the same time I crawled on the thick branch successfully.

“Ouchh!” I exclaimed as I got scratched on my left arm while crawling on the branch.

“What’s wrong? Why are making noises? We need to be calm!” Nilesh was angry at me.

“I got scratched man!” I replied.

“Don’t worry I have another mantra to heal quickly!” affirmed Nilesh.

He gathered his energy, climbed the tree quickly again and sat on another branch.

“Man it was seriously very difficult to climb this tree!” I said to Nilesh in low voice.

“No money can be earned without hard work man!” Nilesh educated me.

“Yes surely you are right.” I replied sadly. “Now pull out the book and we will recite the mantra.”

Nilesh put his left hand in the left pocket of his pants and pulled out something. There was a sound of click and there was a flame. It was a cigarette lighter he brought for reading the book in dark. Then he pulled something from the back of his pants, this was the ancient book of magic!

He gave the book to me and asked me to open the page number thirty two.

“We will practice the mantra for a few times, and then we will recite the mantra with utmost concentration for twenty one times.” He said in low voice. “Once we do this I expect money will appear from somewhere. Just imagine that we get ten thousand rupees each, while reciting the mantra OK?” he told me the procedure.

So I started to read the mantra for practice, “Aum…Aing…Hring…Shring…Dhana…Mama…Dehi…Swaha!”

I repeated the mantra for a few times and said to Nilesh, “Nilesh now I remember the mantra, now with utmost concentration we should recite the mantra for twenty one times.”

“Yes, I have also remembered the mantra, and let’s turn the lighter off and put the book and lighter aside. We will hold each other’s hands and recite the mantra for twenty one times with closed eyes” said Nilesh.

So he turned the lighter off and put the book and lighter on his right lap. We tried to find each other’s hands in the dark and then held them with each other. Then we closed the eyes and started to recite the mantra in a same rhythm.

“Aum…Aing…Hring…Shring…Dhana…Mama…Dehi…Swaha!”

We stopped after we recited the mantra for twenty one times.

We waited for money to appear from somewhere but nothing happened.

“You said these mantras work, but it didn’t. We did everything correctly!” I said angrily.

“Don’t speak aloud, something is surely wrong. May be somebody saw or heard us. Or maybe the money already appeared at our home.” He tried to explain.

“Buddy let’s go home, but how are we going to climb down now?” I exclaimed as he looked at me with anger.

Next day in the school I met him in the recess and told him about what happened the previous day after I reached home, “Yesterday there was a guest at our home when I reached. He is friend of my father and gave me ten rupees as a gift when he left.” I said with surprise. “We asked for ten thousand and I got only ten.”

“I also got ten rupees,” exclaimed Nilesh. “Actually yesterday I went to my hardware shop and one of my consumers overpaid.” He said with joy on his face. “Now you believe the mantra works!”

“But we didn’t get the amount we asked for.” I rejected his comment.

“I know why it did not give us complete money.” He started to explain. “You know why Girish did not come to school today?”

“No, I don’t know? Why?” I asked out of curiosity.

“His father fell sick previous night,” said Nilesh. “Girish said his father reached at home absolutely frightened and sweating previous night. He said that his father was returning from their farm alone and heard noises in the dark but couldn’t see any one around. I asked him what type of noises. Girish said that his father told the noises were like ‘hoom haam ha ha’. His father said that somebody was laughing at him in double voice.” Nilesh explained.

“Now I understand. It was nothing but us in the tree reciting mantra and he heard us.” I exclaimed. “His father thought it was a ghost with double voice laughing at him in a rhythm and hence he fell sick out of fear. And that is why we only got ten rupees instead of ten thousand!”

“Now you get the point!” said Nilesh.

Suddenly the bell rang and we started to walk towards class room.

“You know I also tried the storm mantra for fun on the same hill.” Nilesh said.

“Did it work?” I asked.

“Yes!” he said with excitement. “You know it only involved a broom’s tail to be oriented in the direction from where we wish summon the storm. Then it involved recital of a different mantra and all of a sudden heavy winds started to blow from that direction. I was scared to death and I ran away from the site.” He finished.

“Oh my god! What happened then?” I asked.

“Nothing much except the heavy wind, but my mom kept scolding everyone for three days for the lost broom.” Nilesh said. “I also gave a greeting card with captivating mantra on it to our friend Puru. He has given the card to his crush Regina. Now see how she comes and hugs him directly.”

We just got settled in the class and suddenly Mr Shukla our class teacher arrived in the class.

“Where is Puru?” he roared angrily. Puru stood in the class. “How can you give a greeting card to a girl? Where do you get inspiration for such stupidity? At your age we never knew anything other than studies. The girl has complained about you.

Our geography madam also arrived when Mr Shukla was scolding Puru. She also started to scold Puru.

“You guys are misusing the freedom given to you by your parents. Do you remember I taught you there are seventy six names of water for Eskimos? Similarly there are various types of love we feel for others. We feel love for our parents, our brother and sister, our relatives and our friends. All types of love involve an essential common feeling called as trust. We love the person we trust. Stop wasting your time like this.”

I looked at Nilesh, his eyes spoke the same thing I was thinking.

May be that book is a complete non sense. May be everything was a coincidence.

May be what we are failing to understand is that life itself is a magic!


April 30, 2021 14:33

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