To Haunt or Not to Haunt

Learning not to breathe is a hard thing, especially since breathing was never learned to begin with. I cannot actually breathe since I am air. The best explanation I ever got is I am a gaseous form of my human memories. It’s been two months since my death, I still cannot stop trying to breathe. My ghost friends say I can dissipate if I breathe too much. I’ll start expanding, then poof. It could be hazing, though. Ghosts are known for being pranksters. 

Tonight should be good. Once a year, people all over interact with us. Halloween. In preparation for it, I’d spent the last hour practicing not breathing over the bluffs. The sun was starting to come up over the ocean. The pinks and oranges mingled with the blues of the sky and the sea, so elegant. No sounds but seagulls screeching, waves crashing, and my own groans of disappointment in myself. My friends were supposed to meet me soon, and I had made no progress.

Some snickering started behind me and I turned to see Francis, Gus, and Hattie floating behind me like Buddha, stock still, eyes closed, legs crossed. Mocking me. Francis started shaking with laughter again. Gus opened his eyes and slapped him. Or his area, atleast. Lacking any sort of corporeal form meant all we felt was things that resembled wind gusts. 

“Man, you ruin all our pranks. If you’re not better tonight…” He trailed off.

“What? You’ll kill me.” Francis danced towards his face. Francis was both the youngest in physical age and was born the longest ago, he died in the late 1800s.

“Now, boys,” Hattie interjected, floating in between the two, hands on her hips, “We came here to prepare Julien for his first Halloween. Let's get this breathing thing under control and plan some stuff.” Hattie smiled. She was 23 when she died. She doesn’t talk about her death much, probably how she stays so positive. Gus died at 24, “Boating accident. Dumb friends.” That’s all he’d say. For some reason not all deaths leave behind a ghost. Francis says it’s those whose deaths could have been prevented by one action.

I floated onto the bluffs and started walking, I liked the normalcy even though gravity didn’t apply to me the same anymore. Ghosts have the capability to move through air similarly to the way humans swim, but ghosts float better than humans. It’s the first thing I learned after I died. 

“You guys think you’re soooo clever,” I tried to laugh, but it had hurt. Not even dead 17 year olds were okay with not fitting in.

Francis shook his head, “In all my many years dead, I have never met someone who wants to be alive as much as you do.” He had the body of a 14 year old ghost and a small, pale one at that. He died of scarlet fever. “What was so great about your life? Come on, we can fly, we can go where we want!” He zoomed over to the ocean, dropped down out of sight, leaving us to stare at the sunrise again. “How can you get sick of these views?” a whisper.

I jumped. He had appeared next to me. The king of stealth.

All of us laughed, even me. I was awful at haunting and mischievous Francis was the best. His devilish grin said how proud he was.

I felt a whoosh around my shoulders and looked to see Hattie’s arm there, “Be nice to our Julien. He might see someone he knows. You haven't experienced that in like 100 years.”

Francis frowned, “Fine.”

The silence gave me time to think; I was nervous about that. I died in a drunk driving accident. I was driving. I was drunk. I usually was my last couple years. I checked on then every day, my passengers. Zachary was already home recovering from a bad concussion. He would be out tonight, despite his mother’s wishes. I overheard. Cassia and Jake weren’t so lucky. Both were still in the hospital.

“Julien, you alright?” It was Hattie, she looked up at me, her big silvery eyes full of motherly concern.

“Yeah,” I pinched my eyes shut, hoping to come back to the present. “Planning?” I forced a smile.

She looked skeptical. Hattie would forever take care of her boys. Literally. Her 1930s curled hair, made her look the part too.

 I was the only one in the group who didn’t have short, tidy hair. Since we’re all memories, we look like an animated photograph of how we remember ourselves. Being a drunk high school student meant I was forever disheveled with overgrown hair sticking out in every direction, worn jeans, and a wrinkled t-shirt. I was the clear outlier of this group, but I wasn’t about to throw away more good people. Maybe Francis, I could do without that little twerp. Freshman, I rolled my eyes thinking about high school.

Hattie had gone back to planning with Gus and Francis, leaving me in my own mind.

“Sound good to you, Julien?” It was Gus, practical Gus, they were all looking at me.

“Wha? Yeah. All good with me.” Whoops.

Gus looked peeved, “You two are going to sabotage all of this.” He pointed to me and Francis, “How about we divide into pairs instead? I’ll take the house on Otterwick with Hattie. I’ve haunted it every year.”

“Oh yeah, that’s where I met you!” Francis got excited.

“Oh shit, 1643?” I asked.

They all nod.

“That place is seriously haunted. Oh.” My face fell.

They all laughed at me, again. I wished I was more okay with it. 

“You’ll get it, man,” Gus said, drifting to me to pat me on the shoulder, sending a shiver down my spine. “That leaves you and Francis. A good place to hit, is the woods behind us. Make it extra windy and appear in between trees in flashes. Super fun for your first haunt.” He smiles, “Francis knows it all. You kids have fun. Join us at the Otterwick house later.” He lazily saluted us and disappeared into the trees with Hattie.

“They are weirdly close,” I pointed after them.

Francis rolled his eyes, “I know, it’s gross.”

I laughed, “Why? It’s not like we can actually touch each other.”

“Just that there are more of us...And they are always...” he blushed, “You want to head to the woods? I can show you a few things.”

“If you don’t mind, I sort of want to mess with some of the high schoolers a little. Mason O’Connor always throws this raging party, and I thought it would be fun to drop by.” The idea of spending a whole night with Francis ridiculing me sounded awful. Plus, I had to see Zachary. Help him with something. Anything.

“Oh sure,” Francis smiled. “Meet at Otterwick, then?” 

“Sure, Francis.” And he left. Finally, alone with the view and my thoughts again, I practiced not breathing for several hours. I got nowhere. 

Then I checked on Cassia and Jake. Both had memory loss. Jake may never walk again, Cassia was relearning how to. I stayed at the hospital until Mason O’Connor’s party. 

I hovered above the partying teens, out of sight. All I wanted was to grab some beers and join in. The others might approve of that, as long as I moved around so people questioned if they saw me.

Zachary looked well, he was dressed as Thor, that handsome MoFo always got the ladies. Roxy Flinn, dressed as a slutty vampire was hanging on his arm, she flicked her long blonde hair from her face and whispered in his ear. I could see flashes of her fangs. He smiled, finished his beer and took her out front. I followed, I hoped he got the girl. Before, I would have sabotaged him but having almost killed him, I owed it to him to help. 

The others would be disappointed; they take pride in havoc. It was quiet out here, the music was drowned out by crickets. Roxy and Zachary sat side by side on a pile of hay. She shivered. Figures, all she wore was a red metallic bikini top and shorts. I heard her say, “I ditched the cape because you wouldn’t be able to see my bite marks.” She shuffled her hair to show him her neck, “Get it? I’m a new vampire.”

“How clever,” Zachary smirked, running the backs of his fingers over her neck. He looked like he might bite. “Want mine?” He said it into her neck, took off his red cape and draped it around her like a blanket.

She moved closer to him, “My hero.”

I did a loop in the air and cheered.

A couple walked by with their three dogs. All three dressed up. I shook my head, so did Zachary.

Roxy squealed, “Oh Zachy, look at the cute dogs. One’s dressed as a pumpkin.”

“Poor things,” Zachary said, a far away look came over his face, “Dogs should be wild, ya know?”

Oh shit, I thought, What’s he doing? Just agree! 

“What do you mean,” Roxy’s eyebrows were knit together, “You don’t think it’s cute?”

He had her! What can I do, what can I do? I started pacing back and forth.

Zachary looked into her eyes, “I mean, wild dogs can do so much good for a community. Ya know? Keeps people off the streets and other small pests too.”

Her eyes widened, “Small pests? You mean animals. Small animals.”

“Is this girl hammered or is she truly this dumb,” a voice whispered in my ear.

I startled, “Francis, what the fuck dude.” The small pale ghost grinned. Something was smoking in his hand. “Is that a freaking cigarette? Put it out, someone will notice us.”

“Yup, some kid littered it, figured I’d drop it in someone’s drink or hair.” He kept his grin and motioned downward. “Unless you’ve got another plan. You have been watching them for some time.”

I frowned, “I guess you have too, then.” 

“I take pride in how well my group haunts,” I did not like the way he looked at me, or Zachary and Roxy for that matter. “I get why you can’t peel your eyes away, it’s like a car crash.”

I was fuming now, the jerk had to know today would be hard for me. Then he brings up my death. I wished I could wipe that grin off his face.

“Piss off. You have plenty of others to bother tonight. Leave them out of it.”

“Oops,” He said, flicking the cigarette out of his hands and into Roxy’s back. The red cape lit, singeing her hair. She started screaming, bringing Zachary out of his wild dog rant. “Shit, shit, shit,” He was frozen.

Francis laughed. Then drifted off.

I swooped down not caring if they saw me. I picked up the lite beer, piss water, Roxy had been nursing and doused her in it. And took off after Francis before anyone could get a good look.

I did hear her say, “Oh, Zachy, you saved me!” before I was out of earshot. I hoped he went with it. 

“Why,” I said when I reached him, “Why couldn’t you leave me alone for one night?”

He shrugged, “You have to let go of the living. They aren’t part of our world.”

I stopped when we reached a dark deserted street. “I can’t do that, Francis. How can you not get that?” I was outraged. Live Julien would have tried to beat him up. Probably would have been too drunk though.

He looked hurt, “Because, we have to be enough for you.”

This kid was crazy, “What do you mean?”

“Sooner than you’d like, sooner than you realize, we’ll be all you have. Me, Hattie, Gus. Who knows when another ghost will show up. I was alone for over 50 years before I found Gus. And now he has Hattie and you’re...” Francis smiled at the ground, “you’re all I’ve got.”

“Francis, did you not visit your family?” I was starting to feel bad for the kid.

He nodded, “At first I did. I didn’t get what happened to me yet. I was mad. It’s a mother’s job to keep her babies alive and she just watched me die. No doctors. I hung around for weeks, raging. I couldn’t actually touch anything, you know.” He looked up at me now. “One night, I was sitting there with my mother and my brother. They were reading. I read over her shoulder, she was reading that Louisa May Alcott book. You know it, Beth gets scarlet fever. That’s the part she was reading,” He had that grin again, almost more evil, “Her face was dry, not a fucking tear. Who can read about a child dying and not cry.”

I shook my head.

“I couldn’t handle it and started trying to rip the book out of her hand. It was late, on October 30th. Like really late. This weird phenomenon of us being able to interact with the human world happens slowly, not all at once. I was able to kind of push it and she dropped it. I kept going, I moved everything that I could and began getting stronger, that’s what it felt like. I did this for hours, then she saw me. She saw me, Julien. That vile woman screamed and told me to get out of her house.” He was sitting cross legged in the air again. “Her own son. The son she let die and she tells me to get out. So, yeah, I don’t bother with the living, other than to mess with them when I can.”

I reached my hand out towards his shoulder, “I’m sorry Francis. I’m sorry they didn’t protect you”

“Thanks, Julien.”

I hesitated, “You know my story though, right?”

“Car accident,” a shrug.

I chuckled, “I was drunk. I drove way too fast around a blind curve. I drove right into a tree. I died on impact.”

“What does that have to do with that girl I burned?”

I shook my head, “Not her. Zachary, the guy with her. He was in my backseat. Two other friends are still in the hospital because of me. I don’t want the last thing I do to them to be bad. I want to help and this was my chance. I was trying to help him get laid. Roxy Flinn may be dumb, but…”

“Yeah, she’s hot.” Francis blushed. Sickly kid dies at 14, poor guy never had the opportunity to court a lady, as they said in his day.

“Come on. Let’s go find Hattie and Gus. We have some haunting to do,” I smiled at him.

A few minutes later, Francis turned to me, “Julien?”

“Yeah, buddy?”

“Maybe next year I’ll help you help them.”

I stopped now, he kept going, “You’d do that?”

He turned around, “yeah, the idea of having an impact on earth sounds good. I never did anything when I was alive.”

“Thanks.”

We arrived at 1643 Otterwick Ave., a few minutes later. 

“Should we go in?” I asked.

“Why not? It’s not like they’ll be doing anything.” He paused, “One more thing, the way to quit breathing is to get in the habit of taking short, tiny breaths. Eventually you’ll just stop.”

Francis was being kind for a change. A good friend. “Thanks, again, buddy. I’m glad I have you. Now let’s go haunting.”

Francis grinned. Ear to ear.