Fixed With Food

I felt my mind come back to me from sleep. I yawned and rolled over to see if he was there.

Of course, he wasn't.

Derek had been going to work early and coming back late every single day for a month. Not only that but he'd been going on a lot of 'business trips' lately. Last month, he hadn't gone on a single business trip but, within the last month, he'd gone on six to eight.

I groaned and got up to get ready for work. While I went through my usual morning routine I thought about how I'd gotten into this mess.

I met Derek in Vegas. And like a cliché, my girls and I got drunk and partied with some guys. From what I remember of that night we hit it off right away. I remember touching his arm and dancing like we were connected by our groins. I'd acted like such a slut that night.

Then my drunk brain decided that I liked him so much that we should pay seventy-seven dollars for a license and get married right there. Of course, we were both drunk so when we woke up naked in my hotel room with hangovers, we felt a bit awkward.

We both looked into a divorce but both of us don't take marriage lightly. So we dated for a few weeks till we recognized why we'd hit it off. Then we moved in together and I had the best month of my life.

I'd always wanted to be married and have a wonderful husband. Derek was everything I could have wanted. He's thoughtful, sensitive, and hard-working. He told me he was working his way up the chain of command at his office and I encouraged his dreams. My favorite part of Derek though was how into me he'd been.

I'd always been an affectionate person, and he was too. During our month of marital bliss, we'd had a lot of sex. And I mean a lot. We'd christened our apartment by having sex in each and every room, except the extra room. We'd taken turns taking control and we even tried some positions and items that I'd never used before.

He'd been so attentive, kissing me good morning, kissing me good night, doing and going places I liked, cuddling with me, holding me when I cried even if it was for no reason. And most of all we'd always eat dinner together at the end of the day. I wish it would have stayed that way. But it didn't.

Now he was always rushing places, getting up early and sliding into bed at the late hours of the morning. By the time he gets home he's too exhausted to cuddle or help me cook. The few times that I tried to have something waiting for him, he'd called saying that he'd be late and that I shouldn't wait up. When I asked if he'd eaten he mumbled that he'd swung by a chain restaurant.

I tried to visit him at work but he was always busy or out on an errand. I asked his boss about the trips and he just responded that Derek was working very hard for the company.

I wasn't proud of it but I'd recently set up a Google location thing. It let me see where he was at any hour of the day. I'd check it periodically throughout the day and the only thing that was out of the ordinary was his constant trips to a restaurant named 'Imbroglione'. I looked it up and it was a gentleman’s club. It broke my heart.

For the last week, I'd felt like I was living with myself, and I felt like a shell of who I was before him. I told him that I loved him and he'd said it back, but he's not acting like it. I tried to bring it up and apologize if it'd been weird but he'd just said not to worry about it and that he had to go.

I felt tears fall as I stood under the warm water of my shower. I felt neglected and abandoned. I couldn't get the idea out of my head that this is somehow my fault. Was I not doing the right thing? Was it when I told me I didn't want to go another round in bed? Was it when I made chili instead of sloppy joes?

I'd had all these thoughts before over the last week. I missed him. He had become my best friend over the first month in a half of our marriage. I had talked to my childhood best friend about it and she had given me encouraging words but had told me that I should talk to him. That's the problem. I want to talk to him, more than anything. The problem is that I can't, he's always too busy.

The most I've gotten out of him is one time in bed I asked him why he's working so much and he said “It'll all be worth it.” Honestly, I'm not sure if it was to me or more to himself. I disagree, nothing could be worth all this hurt I'm feeling.

Once I was dressed I texted him.

Hey, leaving for work.

K be safe.

I shoved my phone into my pocket, grabbed my purse, and went to my full-time job. It's an event relations, nine to five, bringing in extra income. I don't like it and I'd love to be a stay-at-home mother but with the way our relationship is, that won't be happening anytime soon.

Well, maybe the stay-at-home part.

Just as I was investigating Derek's 'working' I started to feel sick and started throwing up. And that's a big deal. I have a strong stomach. I don't even throw up when I drink. So I'd gone to a clinic and they did a urine test. And I went home crying.

Normally I'd be happy. I was having a baby with Derek, the man I'd fallen in love with, but with his behavior, I didn't know where our life was heading. I hadn't even thought about abortion. I believe, that everyone deserves to choose but I know that if I aborted my child, I'd go mad with self-loathing. It wasn't worth it.

I slugged my way through my work, I'm in the events so I do a lot of calls with vendors and event teams and tons upon tons of emails. People think it's boring but I like it.

I picked my phone to check up on his location. Sure enough, he was there. Probably paying for a lap dance by some sleazy blonde. Probably has his ring in his pocket. I was about to lock my phone when he texted.

Hey babe. I've got some great news and I want to celebrate tonight. I'm gonna make dinner so text me when you get home. Lov you.

What? He hasn't added a love you for three weeks. He's been 'too busy’. And all the sudden he wants to have dinner together? And to celebrate, celebrate what?

Ok. I need to talk to you anyways so that's perfect.

That's good. We'll just talk about everything and figure out what we're gonna do.

I tried to focus for the rest of the day, not looking at the google location. I knew that it didn't matter anymore. Tonight I'd either be getting laid or getting a divorce.

There wasn't going to be any 'working though this' if he was cheating on me. I'm not the type of girl that will take one hit after the other and do nothing about it. I would just grab a bag of my stuff and go to my girlfriend's house.

That's what I thought at first. I'm still not that type of girl but I have to start thinking about someone else. I have to think about my baby. Our baby. I'd talk to him and all that but I'm not going to be married to him if he's gonna cheat on me.

When work was done I clocked out and sat in my car for a few minutes before I made the drive home.

On the way, I ran through things I might say. Obviously, I had to tell him about the pregnancy. Then Imbroglione, the crazy hours, my feelings. Do I tell him that his behavior can't be justified by anything? Men work long hours but still show their wives love right?

When I pulled in, I just sat there. I don't want to go in. I don't want to see his handsome face and just forgive him. I don't want to yell and scream about how hurt I am. I just want to turn back the clock and keep his love.

I pulled out my phone and texted him.

I'm outside.

K I'm just putting the stuff on the table and I'll be ready.

I sighed and got out of the car. Here goes nothing. Tonight my life changes, but for worse or for better?

I hesitated at the door and I fumbled with my keys. I felt my pocket vibrate and I looked at it.

K I'm ready. Come in whenever you're ready. It's unlocked.

I took a deep breath picking up my keys and opened the door.

The room had transformed. There were those cute twinkle lights everywhere weaving and curving around the things in our place. The place was clean too, and I knew it'd been messy that last week, I just hadn't had the energy to deal with it.

The table was simply set. Derek was more the planner than the presentation. There was a bottle of wine in a bucket of ice and my thoughts turned to the pregnancy. There was salad and chicken breasts with mashed potatoes and gravy. There was also corn, green beans and a jug of water, and fruit punch.

“Ashton.” His voice, it was like I hadn't heard it in a while.

I looked at him. He'd showered, shaved, and put on a white button-up shirt tucked into a 'fancy' pair of blue jeans. His baby blue eyes were shining behind his dark brown hair and he was smiling right at me.

I felt my body loosen up just the tiniest bit as he took a few steps forward.

“Welcome home baby.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss my cheek.

He hadn't done that in a long time too.

“What's going on?” I asked him.

“I told you.” He took my purse and put it next to the door, “We're celebrating.”

“Celebrating what?” I decided to make myself comfy. I took off my jacket and pulled the hair tie out of my hair, shaking it.

“What I've been working on for weeks now.” I turned to him, raising an eyebrow.

“And what is that?”

He smiled, “I just closed a deal with someone my boss wanted.”

I just stared at him, confused. “I don't understand.”

He grabbed my hand and walked me to my chair. Pulling it back for me like a gentleman. “My boss wanted me to get the Brashetti brothers on board for a project. No one could get them to agree. So my boss said that if I got them on board then he'd raise my pay and he'd give me a bonus.”

I blinked at him, was it just money that he'd been working towards?

He pushed my chair in and went to sit in his chair. “I had to go to this awful gentleman's club called Imbroglione because that's the only place they'd talk to me. They kept me out super late, which I hated. Then I had to get to the office super early.”

I blinked. Was he telling the truth?

“I know I've been so distant this last month. And I'm so so sorry.”

I nodded. At least he knows. “Why didn't you tell me?”

He took a drink from his water. “I couldn't. My boss said that no one could talk about it or they'd get fired. Even to my wife and best friend.”

I felt my heart lift, though I kept my face impassive. He was saying all the right things. And this was a very believable alternative.

“Derek. I didn't need more money, I needed to have you.” I said letting some of my feelings out.

“I know baby, I know.” He said. He got out of his chair and came to kneel in front of me. “I'm truly, truly sorry. Honestly, I had another reason for wanting the bonus my boss offered me.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Oh, and what's that?” I know now that I'll try and get him to save most of that bonus so that we can buy stuff for the baby.

He smiled, “Well I wasn't gonna give this to you until dessert but.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a black velvet box.

He opened it and I gasped. Inside was a ring I'd pointed out to him many, many times. It was my dream engagement ring. I'd always told him that we didn't need a fancy ring to let other people know that we were taken and our love was real. However, I'd always hoped that I could get something special. It was a pink diamond heart on a silver band and it had four diamonds sparkling on either side of it.

He seemed to like my reaction and took it out of the box, “I added a special touch. Just for us.”

I took it from him, curious to see what it was and I gasped again as I saw the inside of the band. It said 'D&A Happy Mistake 4/8/21'

I chuckled feeling tears come to my eyes, He wasn't cheating on me? He was.... He was buying me presents and working so hard to earn for us.

“Baby, it's just a ring. Don't cry.” He said, whipping my tears.

“It's not the ring.” I cried trying to stifle the sobs building in my chest.

“What is it then?” He asked, grabbing a napkin off the table and whipping my tears.

“I'm.... So.... Relieved.” I sobbed. My relief mixed with the joy of knowing the reason for his distance came bubbling up to the surface all at once.

“Relieved? About what?”

I held up my finger to ask for a minute and he just held my hands while I cried. I let myself feel it all but I knew that there was still something I had to tell him. I had to get a hold of myself. I could fall apart later.

Once the tears had stopped flowing I took some deep breaths and sighed.

“Derek. Since I didn't have any explanation for your behavior, I looked into your behavior and came to the conclusion that you were cheating on me.” I explained.

His face told me that he was shocked. Then he smiled the gentle smile that I loved so much. “Baby, I would never cheat on you.”

I nodded, “I didn't want to believe it but once when you were sleeping I got onto your google and set up Google location sharing, so that way I could see where you were.”

He raised an eyebrow, “You really didn't trust me?”

I just nodded but continued, I had to get this all out. “Well, when you were spending almost all your time at a gentleman’s club what was I supposed to think?”

He took my face in his hands and kissed me, softly and tenderly. I could feel through our kiss that he'd missed me.

“I will never, ever cheat on you. I swear on my life.”

I smiled; that was another thing I loved about Derek, his word was like an unbreakable vow to the other person. He'd do it or die trying.

“Well, you can't risk your life anymore.” I whispered, “I'll be needing you.”

He smiled at me and stood, “Well trust me, I'm not going anywhere. Except for a well-deserved vacation. I want to use some of the money to take you somewhere. Anywhere you want to go, within reason of course.”

All this ‘anything I want talk’ had a tingly feeling spreading between my legs. I'd make sure to get everything I want tonight. But my stomach took that second to growl, reminding me about food and the fact that I was eating for two.

“Actually,” I said hesitantly, “We'll need to save that and you can take all three of us on a vacation later.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Why do we need to- Did you say three of us?”

I nodded and looked up at him, “I found out about a week in a half ago. I'm pregnant Derek.”

His mouth made an O shape as he gasped and then his face slowly broke into a smile and he kneeled down in front of me again.

“Really?” He asked excitedly. I smiled too and nodded. He reached out and placed his palm under my shirt against my lower belly. “We're having a baby.” He muttered softly.

It made my heart sore at how gentle and loving his words were. “Yes, Derek. We're having a baby.” I glanced over to the food, “And right now the baby and I are starving.”

He looked up at me and chuckled, “Right. Let's not wait then.” He walked over and reached for the wine, “I guess we'll save this for a celebratory toast in 9 months.”

I chuckled, “Water is fine honey.”

He had a dreamy look in his eye as he saw across the table from me, “Eat up, love of my life, mother of my child.”

I placed my napkin on my lap and took my glass of water, “And you can show me just how much you love me for dessert.” And with that, we both began to eat.