My First Video Chat

MY FIRST VIDEO CHAT.

     My tension and stress were going through the roof, not because of the war, but because of my daughter's birthday. I was busy riding navy warships during the second Gulf War, although most civilians probably remember it as just an extension of the first Gulf War. During military operations we did not get the chance to call home or even get to a port to buy gifts for family for special occasions.  In this case, we had been out at sea for the last forty-five days.  My daughter's birthday was coming up and I did not get a chance to get her a present.  

     I always tried to get my wife and kids presents for birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays ahead of time. In this case, I just did not get the chance. I knew that even if I got back to my apartment in Bahrain, bought her a present and mailed it off all on my first day back, that the present would still be a few weeks late. Aaahhh…so was the life with military mail back then. 

     I tried to think of a way to get a present to Devon, but even if I shipped it "Overnight" and paid all of the extra money, it would still arrive a couple of days late.  If I ordered flowers online and had them delivered on time, Devon would not quite understand why daddy sent her flowers instead of getting her something she really wanted. Devon was turning six and she wanted art supplies. She loved to draw. 

     She already recognized my handwriting, so she would know if Patty, my wife, got the present and signed "From Daddy" on the card. I did not want to break Devon's heart. I was in a real bind to say the least. Six years old was a big mark for her. She was no longer a baby that had to stay at home with mom.  She started school this year and considered herself a "school kid" now. 

     When her and her brother, Randy, were younger, I sent home videos on disk. The ship had come up with this great idea of recording yourself for fifteen to twenty minutes at a time. They provided the camera and disk and then you could mail the disk home. I recorded my first message and got to talking to the Petty Officer in charge of the project about how many people were signing up for time slots. He told me that in the week that it had been going on, only three people had signed up. I asked if I could come by and do more messages. He told me that would not be a problem. The ship had hundreds of disks and not too many people were using them. 

     I came back later that week and asked if the offer was still stood. He said yes. I had come up with a great idea of reading stories to my kids. I figured that if I read one chapter a session, then I could make it through a book or two while on this deployment. I wanted Patty to play them for the kids at bedtime, one chapter at a time. The kids would get to see Daddy and get bedtime stories. Patty would get fifteen minutes of quiet time, which could be very important for a single mom at home with two kids. 

      I remember recording the videos in an empty machine room with the 1MC (the ship's loud speaker) and ship's alarms and bells going off at random, but I did not think the kids would mind too much. I read the story of King Arthur to that video camera every chance I got, one chapter per day. I hoped that it was going to be enough for the children. I managed to read through the whole book.  I used up about twenty-five sessions by the end. I was hoping that it would be something that the kids could enjoy over and over again and, if they got lonely, they could watch Dad read to them.

     I really enjoyed that and I was hoping that they really enjoyed it too, but Devon's birthday was something special. I wanted to make sure that she could talk back to me and I could talk to her just like a moving picture with real interaction. 

     I recalled all these young sailors on the ship talking about "Skype" voice-chat. I had a place in Bahrain and computer access. I was hoping that I would be in port the day before Devon's birthday so I could set everything up. We made it to Bahrain just in time. Of course after getting to port, I had to complete my End-of-trip reports to debrief my command about my trip. Then, I went home to get my dirty laundry done with a good washing machine, good detergent and good fabric softener. Finally, I grabbed some good food from a local restaurant and went home to eat and prepare my computer for this Skype thing.

     My brother used to laugh at me because I could tear a satellite apart and put it back together, but I couldn't tell you how to operate a civilian cell phone to video chat with someone. That was new to me and it was something that I had to learn but after all the pieces were put together I figured it out. All I had left to do was make sure that I had an internet connection. It was spotty, but I finally got it to work.

     First thing the next morning, which was evening in the States, I contacted my family.  I wished Devon a happy birthday. I got to see the gleam in her cute little hazel eyes as she told me about all the neat art supplies she got for her birthday. I could see my son eating cake and ice cream in the background, waving at the computer in between bites. I could see my wife's lovely blue eyes welling up with tears of joy. I must have spent half an hour on that computer enjoying the company of my family but this was not always going to be a viable option for me. I knew it was just another way for me to enjoy moments like this.

     I thought of all the other guys who didn't have apartments here in the Middle East, all of those guys who still had children at home, all of those who would never get that same chance.  From that point on, I decided to invite those who I could to my apartment so that they could call home too.  Some took me up on the offer, others did not. But, at least for some of them, it was like a quick visit home from a thousand miles away.

     As 2020 took shape with the Corona Virus and quarantines, I remembered those days. For me, it is just another deployment. I pray that my lessons learned then will help family members now to connect during the holidays of 2020.