My worth. Not my Family's.

I'm waking up on a Monday.

I'm feeling so great.

Today is going to be a great day.

Nothing can ever bring me down.

Except for my mother always screaming out at me and saying, "You are nothing. I never loved you. You are disgusting. I wish I had a son instead. A man who comes home to his family bringing bread."

And my father, who doesn't know the difference between a fruit and a vegetable but knows the all of the time of wrestling matches on different T.V. channels.

Who never gets up from the couch to take a shower or get a job.

A man who never sees you when you are leaving or cares when you are there.

A man who has as much anger as he does care for me.

I know you don't get to choose the family you are born with it, but there has never been a passing day when I wonder what it feels like to be born to a different family who could show me love and tell me that I am great and that I am enough.

To cuddle up with when you were sad.

To hold you close when you were scared.

To make chocolate chip cookies for you to see a smile on your face.

But, that wasn't the hand that I was dealt.

I was given cards and told to be successful even if things got worse by the handful.

I can't keep living in this situation any longer.

It is not good for my health or my self worth.

I know I am worth more so I have to move on and move up to be what I want to be.

But who am I meant to be.

I've never been encouraged by anyone, only by me.

So how am I to see that there can be more inside of me than meets the eye.

When I see myself in the mirror, I see a beautiful creature that has be thrown around, dirtied, and beaten. Nothing more.

I am poor I have nothing but a fire that is burning inside of me that no one can see. Not even me. But only I can feel.

There is more for me in store. Just wait and see. I can feel it.

One day, I'll be walking down fifth avenue in my Jimmy Choo's treating others the way I would want to be treated. I'll be smiling for the press and answering questions about how I became so successful.

Hardwork and determination will be me answer:

"Distance yourself from those who would love to see you fail and hate to see you succeed. Never give up on a dream, even if it doesn't seem realistic at the time. Never give up. Because, one day, your wildest dreams will become reality."

So, I distanced myself away from haters and anger.

I moved away from my home- my parents did not care.

I packed my bags quickly and headed down stairs.

I put in a pack of crackers, Poptarts, and a jar of Skippy.

Traveling away from one of the many houses I've known.

Showing no remorse for what I would be leaving, a family, shelter, a "home", because it is nothing I have ever had.

That is nothing I would be missing.

There are no ties to me.

I am a spirit running free trying to find her own place in this world.

The beginning road is rocky and shaky but I'll find my way eventually.

If the world turns its back on me, I'll turn my back on the world.

If gravity tries to pull me down, I'll rise up.

The world can not stop me. I'll stop the world.

I will be free.

I will treat others the way I want to be treated.

That saying wasn't very realistic for me when I was with my parents.

I was always respectful to them and did what I was told.

But everything I did they would never be satisfied.

I tried so hard for the longest to put a smile on my mother's face to get a response from my father but all I got in place was, "You didn't do that well enough! You need to be better! The only job you'll get is scrubbing toilets and living in a homeless shelter when you are older."

They disrespected me but I never disrespected them because I was always hopeful.

I woke up every morning and said, "Today is a great day," because I believe it will be in some way.

Today was the best day yet because I recognized myself as an independent woman.

I will be the master of my life and conquer the world.

My voice will rise against the crowds and the world will hear my roar.

I will be heard.

People will want to hear what I have to say. They will be intrigued, inspired, and motivated. I'll tell them the truth of where I've come from, who I am, and what I want only if I listen to where they've come from, what they want, and who they are.

I'll tell them I've traveled far and wide.

I've jumped from place to place.

I've lived in many houses in my youth.

I'll tell them how I got here: I cut ties with my family. There hatred was not allowing my to blossom.

I'll tell them who I am: I am a free spirit now. I am able to flourish.

I will show them that I will be successful in everything I do because today will be a great day.

I will work hard in this world and will end up on top where I deserve to be.

Nothing can stop me. I am a deeply rooted tree. My roots digging deeper into my beliefs. I will always be me.

I have made a proclamation: For the rest of my life, I will be satisfied with me because home is wherever I am.