The old oak tree

I find communication with most people exhausting and dull. Talking is not something I do unless I have to. Walking alone in the forest is my favorite leisure activity. It allows me to clear my head and focus on myself. I am what some people call ‘introverted’. I used to think that my life is doomed to be lonely and I was to sink in deep thoughts about the purpose of my own suffering.

One day I decided to take my usual route in the forest. It was a warm, sunny day in March and many trees had just started flowering. I left the bustling city around noon. The air was refreshing and the fragrance of Spring made me feel alive again. All my senses were intensified by the forest, at least that’s what I thought. There was something primal, something innate that helped me feel at home. Unexpectedly I saw a young woman standing next to a tall oak tree. Her ebony hair was loosely hanging down to her waist and she seemed to be contemplating the greenery. Her complexion was pale but her cheeks were red like roses. Her eyes were blue like the sky above us, her body-slender. She was moving slowly, touching the stem of the tree and quietly whispering something. I intended to pass her calmly and resume my walk without uttering a word when she raised her voice.

‘Hello, it is such a beautiful day, isn’t it?’. She was addressing me but staring at nothing.

‘It is, indeed.’ I replied politely. She approached me carefully and spoke again.

 ‘Do you come here often? I like reading.’

Her question and what she likes doing seemed totally unrelated but it made me curious ‘I come here at least once a week. What books do you like reading?’  

‘Whatever I can get my hands on,' she smiled. ‘Come closer I can teach you to read.’

As an adult with several years of education behind my back I was baffled by her words, but the child inside me wanted to find out more. I made a few steps forward, we were both standing next to the oak, she grabbed my hand and put it on the stem of the old tree.

‘Aren’t you going to show me what you like reading?’ I asked impatiently.

She giggled. ‘Your vision impairs you. Use all of your senses and observe the world more carefully.’

My confusion was growing with every word that came from her. I think she must have noticed that and stopped speaking. Our hands were still touching the old tree, a moment passed in silence. Her small, delicate hand took control over mine and moved it across the stem and then…

The unevenness of the bark was nothing new to me, but I had never noticed the symbols carved into it. I could clearly make out the letters W+E. And the girl spoke again.

‘E was my grandmother and W-my grandfather. This oak was planted long before they were born and it outlived both of them. They were sitting right here when they kissed for the first time.’ She moved my hand down and recommenced her story ‘These scratches were made by my father when he was 5 years old. He didn’t know what he was doing but felt the need to leave his mark. He used to have picnics with his parents and his siblings here every weekend. We’ve been doing the same for as long as I can remember. Every time we would come, sit on the grass and listen to the stories about his adventures high in the branches in a world of squirrels, birds and fairies.’

We moved forward and with my eyes closed I felt J+S.

‘This was left by my parents. My dad proposed to my mother under that tree, she would always joke that she had married a bushman. My sister and I were very happy here. I would create stories of all the mythical creatures that live in the forest and she would read books to me.’ Her skin grew paler and her eyes started to fill with tears but she didn’t cry.

‘Now these happy memories are all that our loved ones left to us. These are the symbols of the happiest years of our lives so far. When I come here I re-unite with all of the people I have lost over the years. They may all be dead but as long as this tree stands they are still with me.’

She placed my hand on the initials A and D.

‘My sister and I added these. Now it feels like it happened decades ago but I vividly remember the sound of her knife scratching the bark.’

I was shocked by my own ignorance. I had been here many times but never felt so much in peace with the world around me. Now I could feel I was truly perceiving the world with all my senses. I had been so invested in my own concerns that I failed to notice the beauty and diversity of my surroundings. As I was thinking about all of this another woman came. She resembled my companion so much, that it was obvious they were relatives.

‘Come on, sis. We better went home now.’

My new friend grabbed the elbow of her sister and they walked away slowly. I felt inclined to add my own initials but realized that this is not my tree. I knew back then that this would not make my life meaningful but still didn’t not what would. I stayed in the forest for several more hours. I came back home at sunset and lied down on my bed. I started thinking of my own childhood and the happy memories with my parents. After much thinking I realized that my existence wasn’t mere suffering anymore. I had a meaning. Now I know what my purpose is and I am confident that I can deal with every obstacle. All I need is love.