New Girl

‘’Hey, can you keep a secret?’’ she says a smirk on her face, her legs swinging back and forth through the air. We’re sitting on the ledge of the old tree house my dad built for me when I was seven. It’s not much of a tree house, it's like ten feet off the ground and more of a platform in a tree, no walls or anything . But with the sunsetting and the full summer branches blocking out the view of the house, it feels like the most secluded place in the world. 

‘’Uh yeah, sure...definitely.’’ I stammer. I still haven't completely gotten the hang of not being awkward around her. 

She pulls out from the pocket of her oversized mens hoodie two perfectly rolled joints. I mean, I think they’re perfectly rolled. I don’t actually smoke that much. Like, I have before, but I’m not exactly sure where one finds a dealer and I'm too scared to ask so it’s not really a consistent thing.  

‘’How have you been here only three weeks and you already know where to get weed?’’ I laugh. She’s cool like that, confident, street smart… out of my league. 

‘’Jake it's not that hard.’’ She laughs back. ‘’That guy at Quick mart basically offered.’’

He had never offered me before. 

‘’So are you down?’’  She asks waving the spliff in the air.

‘’Oh yeah, definitely, for sure… I love drugs.’’ I blurt. Fucking smooth jake. I love drugs? Like what the fuck, can you be any stupider? 

She pulls a lighter from her bag. A soft smile forms on her face, she hands me the joint, its tip lit with tiny embers. Maybe it's in my head but her eyes seem to hold a heavy sadness, signs of being beat down by the universe. She’s good at keeping walls up and laughing about everything. It’s like she doesn't want anybody to know she's gone through anything. Or maybe it’s all in my head and I just don’t understand how someone can act so normal after going through something like that. 

I break the silence, ‘’So how are you liking Kentucky?’’ 

‘’Compared to New York?’’ she chuckles

Fuck, Stupid question Jake. She’s from Manhatten why the fuck would she like Kentucky? 

‘’I’m joking… I actually kind of like it here. Everyone thinks the city is such a crazy wild place to be living but people have so much more freedom here.’’ She takes a long drag and shoots the smoke out in a steady stream. ‘’Like you have to be so careful in New York or you’ll find yourself totally fucked, but here, people just kind of live their lives not worried life’s gonna pounce on you and screw everything up.’’  I actually think I can detect sadness this time as she reminisces on life doing exactly that to her, pouncing a fucking everything up. 

‘’Well, I mean out here you have to watch cause something might literally pounce on you, we have a plethora of dangerous animals.’’ I crack trying to lighten the mood

It works, a smile runs across her face and she socks me in the shoulder causing me to cough and sputter over the cloud of smoke in my throat. We both laugh and lean back on the platform so we’re looking up at the branches and smoky purple clouds. A bolt a heat lightning flashes and the sky lights back  up a vibrant blue. 

It reminds me of the first time I saw her. Ms. Lynn had called me over and said I should meet her niece who was coming to live with her and help them carry her stuff up the steps. I had obliged, not sure what to expect, surprised Ms. Lyn had any family at all. What I had not expected was to see a girl standing there in an electric blue dress, matching eye makeup, and combat boots that gave her an extra three inches. A hot girl might I add. No girls at my school dressed remotely like this, immediately I was curious and maybe a little bit intimidated. 

‘’This is Claira, she’s coming to live with me for her senior year all the way from New York City!’’ Ms. Lynn had said with a smile a little too big. She must have seen me staring because she added ‘’Really creative this one is, She loves to dress in these funky outfits! Not how we usually do it here in Kentucky, is it Jacob?’’ She laughed a slight tinge of uncomfortability poking through. 

I didn’t get to answer cause Claira interjected with a simple, ‘’Hi nice to meet you.’’ But with a smirk on her face that made me feel like she knew more than everyone in the room. 

She and Ms.Lynn seemed like a really odd match. Ms.Lynn was a conservitive woman. She always attended church, always was what she called ‘’lady like’’, and always looked presentable in her uniform of tan fitted pants and a sweater. She had babysat me and my sister Morgan every Tuesday night and would scold us over every little thing in a voice louder than I knew was possible for a woman over 60. But here was this girl, who was supposedly related to her, who looked like she could be a model in Rave Craze magazine. 

I helped them carry Claira’s boxes up to her new bedroom thats walls were beige and bland . We didn’t say much to one another except to exchange that I would also be a senior and had never been to New York. I had actually only been out of Kentucky once, but I was not about to tell her that. 

Ms. Lynn packed me a tomato sandwich in a bag and as I was walking out the door she stopped me, putting her hand on my shoulder she said quietly, ‘’Claira lost her parents last month to a gas explosion. She doesn’t know anyone here and I’m sure she could use some friends especially starting up the school year in a few months. And lord have mercy on her trying to make friends in those getups she wears.’’ She laughed sadly. ‘’Be a friend to her will you? She asked. 

‘’Yes of course, so sorry to hear that ma'am. She seems like a very friendly girl.’’ I was a bit shocked. I hadn't met anyone young whose parents had both died. That stuff only happened in movies about orphans. 

‘’Thank you Jacob, tell your parents I hope they are doing well and would love to see them back at Park Street Baptist soon.’’ She said closing the door behind me. 

For the record, Claira had not had any problems making friends. Three days later I came knocking at they’re door seeing if she would want to come with me to a tailgate party. Actually If you were to ask Ms.Lynn, I came knocking to see if she wanted to come to teen night at the library.

We rode together in my truck that had been a birthday gift but mostly just so I could help dad at the lumber yard. She wriggled out of her sweater unveiling a top that looked more like a bra and honestly, I think we're lucky I didn’t crash the car. 

‘’We’re not actually going to the library, there's a tailgate party in the parking lot of the old K-mart.’’ I had told her trying to keep my eyes on the road.

She laughed. A nice laugh that I would come to hear a lot. ‘’Yeah I figured. You know that women thinks I’m like a devil worshipper or something. She makes all these backhanded compliments about just everything I put on, but she can’t really say anything cause are you really gonna tell the girl with dead parents to change? I figure she told you about that?’’

I kind of lose my breath for a second. I didn’t expect her to bring it up so casually. ‘’Uhm yeah she mentioned it, I’m really sorry for your loss.’’ It felt like I was reading a hallmark sympathy card. 

‘’Yeah…’’ She trails off. 

‘’So I didn’t know Mrs. Lynn had a niece… or like any family.’’ I say.

‘’Oh my god yeah, I literally met her once before this. She and my mom like freaking hated each other and barely knew each other cause they're twenty years apart but somehow she ended up at the top of my emergency guardian list.’’ 

‘’That’s crazy.’’ I said as we pulled into the parking lot. Like ten cars were there. It probably looked really sad compared to New York parties, but she had a smile on her face and happily accepted a warm beer Tommy Brown rushed to bring her. 

Really quickly lots of guys were bringing her warm beers and asking her questions. All trying to figure out where she came from and how much of a shot they might have with her. 

Then, all the girls started questioning why they weren't  getting the attention they usually did and came over too. Some quickly got jealous, and started gossiping about her strange shoes, not skin tight jeans, and shirts you couldn’t get at khols. Others, clearly wanted to be friends with her… or like, be her. 

But even with the surge of popularity she still remained next to me the whole night and drove back with me despite many offers from other guys. 

We began to hang out almost everyday. She helped me with calculus, I helped her with Chemistry. We stuck into the swimming hole on Mr.Cradfords land. I taught her how to milk a cow and she took me thrifting. I showed her the tree house even though I promised myself at eight that it was only mine and nobody else could infiltrate my favorite spot. She loved the tree house, said it was the only place she felt like she could get a moment of air away from her aunt. Sometimes I'd see her sitting out there from my bedroom window. Some nights it wouldn’t be until 3 in the morning that her lantern light got up from its position and slinked its way out of my sight. Sometimes I’d join her and others I’d let her sit, wondering what she was doing. 

‘’What are you  thinking about?’’ She says taking me out of my trance. I turn my vision from the now dark sky and look at her turned towards me. 

‘’You.’’ I say, a smile on my face. I surprise myself, I'm not usually this forward. ‘’What are you thinking about? I ask. 

‘’You, this tree house, how my life is in a completely different place than I ever thought it would be but it kinda feels normal.’’ She crushes the nub of her joint and flicks it into the air so I do the same.

We sit staring at each other. Her brown hair so dark it looked black with sheens of purple in the moonlight. Her skin, soft and pale with a dusting of freckles that you couldn’t see unless you were close up. We had known each other for such a short time but she feels like my favorite person. I feel like she knows more about who I am at  the core than just about anyone else and I have the sense that maybe it feels the same for her with me. 

I think she’d kiss me back if I tried. I just have to work up the courage to close the six inch gap between us. 

Her phone pinged causing her to jolt up. Fuck technology.

‘’Shit, Lynn’s mad i’m not home gotta run.’’ She grabs her bag. I sit up watching her spray a pink sparkly bottle in the air and on her clothes trying to mask the smell of weed. She begins to make her way down the ladder but stops for a sec, seems to contemplate something in her head, and leans up to kiss me on the cheek. ‘’Bye Jake, You better not let Lynn find out about the weed’’ 

‘’Don't worry, our secret.’’ I respond strangely level headed for what just happened. 

  I watch her as she runs out of the woods and through my yard knowing i’ll be keeping a close eye out my bedroom window tonight in case her lantern shows up.