Bodo BOGO

I don’t understand. You don’t understand what I don’t understand, but that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t understand. See, what happens is they come from another country. Now, of course, everyone will accuse me of being xenophobic, but I’m not xenophobic, I just don’t understand. See, they come from other countries to live “The American Dream”. Then, instead of figuring out what they can do to help others with their dreams, which is something an altruist would do, they think they’ll mine gold or it’ll rain diamonds or I don’t know what the fuck they think.

But then, they get broke and how are they going to pay rent or their mortgage or buy food, or soap or anything else any human being needs. Then, they talk to someone and, after getting an EBT card, the government social worker tells these idiots if they already know another language, they could easily make a great living and live “The American Dream”! So, what’s wrong with that? Isn’t America supposed to be the great melting pot?

Well, let me tell you wants wrong with that you brain dead government workers. These people can definitely teach their fucking foreign language if someone would teach them English. I don’t know this language. Them explaining things about their language in their language doesn’t help me or the other students. Maybe they should go work for Google. I go to their classes and I may as well be going to a church where Glossolalia is spoken. I raise my hand and ask them what it means and they answer in their language doesn’t help.

Maybe I need to back up. Why don’t I drop the course or get a different course with a different teacher? Why don’t I do that? Because I want to intern in India and this moron is the only one who teaches Bodo and I’ve applied for an internship to a place in India where they speak Bodo.

I’ve spoken to my academic advisor who agreed, if I want to intern there, there’s nothing else I can do. Does she have a TA? No. Why would she have a TA? She knows Bodo fluently and needs no assistance. Tried downloading Google Translate but it doesn’t pick up all the words this moron is saying. But it doesn’t translate everything with their accent. There are also dialects in Bodo. Maybe I could take an online course at a different college with transfer credits? Or maybe an app like Duo has courses on it? Won’t count. Need college credentials. But why not? Because that’s what the donors to the college want. What donors? Can I talk to them? No, they wish to remain anonymous. Great. So, can’t get this somewhere else and can’t learn another way. All roads lead to India and continuing this goddamn class for a semester.

Why India? Why not the Central African Republic or Indonesia or anywhere where they don’t speak Bodo? Here’s why. I am in grad school studying anthropology and India is my area of focus. All the books I’ve read on India have been in English or translated into English. I’ve learned about Indian history, Indian dress, Indian cuisine, Indian soil, Indian famine, but all in English and, unless I want to spend a fortune on a translator, I have to speak Bolo to complete my graduate dissertation. Son-of-a-bitch. So, after banging my head against the wall, I continued to take this dumb damn class. Maybe talk to the head of the department and see if they’ll fire her. Oh, no. Look at the goddamn bullshit EEOC shit on the wall. “It’s illegal to discriminate against an employee due to national origin, race, family origin,” etc. It’s not any of that. We can’t learn because she doesn’t speak English. Ask Joseph Heller what to do, right?

I could drop out of school, but I’d still have the FAFSA debt and all this wasted time. Get my MS degree. Get a job. Maybe I could learn Bodo BOGO. Right? But, 10,000 years from now, who will be studying me and what will they say? Only books survive or do they? Publishers drop authors, authors sign contracts and more debt.

Illegal to bribe the teacher. Could talk to the dean, but he wouldn’t do anything. I’m fucked and not the way I want to be. So, you’ve heard me bitch about this, so now what? Maybe make this into a choose your own adventure story? Should I kill this moron teacher and make this into a murder mystery? Should I switch schools? Maybe . . . Or should I grow up and do my best and get an online tutor?

The thing is, sometimes life’s could be changed by my writing. One person’s life could be changed by . . . Or not. Hell, this teacher is ruining my life, so maybe I can be the one who changes someone else’s. Or maybe not. Maybe I’ll be another victim of a random shooting tomorrow and the shit that happened with this teacher won’t matter or maybe everyone will flunk their class and what’s that say about them? Maybe this class doesn’t matter and maybe I’ll be killed on one of my excursions. But, what’s the point of any of this? Or is there a point? Don’t you hate it when writers go into this philosophical bullshit?

So, gotta learn Bodo. There are no tutors for Bodo and I’m flunking. Probably going to have to drop this course, but then what? Take it later? With the same teacher? Heller.

So, I continued the course, went to their useless office hours, looked on YouTube and Duo, and I passed by the skin of .. you know the idiom. But, I passed and I got the internship, and later was published. It wasn’t a bestseller, but it sold steadily and I could pay my bills. Got marry, house, car, the American dream, but it wasn’t in America.

Part of being an anthropologist. Switched countries. Not everyone loves America. Kept getting in situations where the rules got me stuck. Maybe it was me and not America, but I haven’t felt trapped since I’ve left the EEUU.