Cheese Makes My World Go Round

There it is. Fromager D'affinois. This soft-ripened double creme is made from cow’s milk. The luscious texture with flavor that can only be described as a gift from heaven. Fromager D'affinois is crafted in the French countryside, so you know the pride and perfection put into this luxury. This is the type of cheese that is the main encore. It can hold its own going solo or with the accompaniment of crackers and fig spread. Either way, you're in for one hec of a show. I’m salivating just thinking about it.

If I had to compare this cheese to something more commonly known, a brie cheese would be in the same family. Though, in this family dynamic Fromager D'affinois would be the sibling where everything comes naturally, is the golden child and no matter how hard brie tries, they just fall short.

Wow, did I just compare my sister and myself to cheese? My sister being the Fromager D'affinois, the apple of my parents eye and me just happy to go well with jam. 

Moving on shall we?

In the overwhelming sea of cheeses in the store, Fromager D'affinois can be easy to miss with its unremarkable packaging. To be honest I prefer that the cheese is easily overlooked because a bad day could always be made worse with your favorite guilty pleasure sold out. The packaging probably differs depending on where you are, but here it’s a simple plastic wrap with a dark blue and white lettering label. I guess there’s also a light brown cow. But regardless, I, myself, almost miss the damn thing when looking for it. It took me a solid 10 minutes and avoiding eye contact with the employee whose job is to provide charcuterie guidance to find it today.

Staring into the cheese aisle, I know I shouldn’t. Not because I care about the calories, or the cost, but because my body won’t let me. Like, I can obviously put the cheese in my mouth, swallow it etc. But, the aftermath is like the vengeance of a toddler who’s favorite toy was just taken out of their hand. Out of all the obstacles life throws your way, why does a lactose intolerance have to be mine. WHY. 

Why can’t I be intolerant or allergic to something like olives? I HATE olives. It sucks to be allergic to anything, but I think I could manage not having olives in my life. But cheese… like come on. Everyone knows it’s one of this world's luxurious pleasures. 

My day consists of responsibilities, bills, expectations, requirements, deadlines … the list goes on and there’s only a few things in this world that can momentarily make me forget everything around me.

Anyone else ever feel like you’re constantly thinking about two, maybe three things at once? Always trying to check off “to do” items, meanwhile for every item crossed off, another two are added to the list. It goes on and on. But, when it’s me and cheese, specifically Fromager D'affinois, time stops. The world makes sense again. Call me dramatic all you want, but tell me you don’t feel this way about something in your life? And if you don’t, I guess... that sucks?

The texture is thick and creamy, but not too dense. Silky and buttery, but also a hint of sweetness that keeps you coming back for more. Gooey, but in a tantalizing way… Okay. I’ll stop. 

It’s a Friday evening, on my way home from work. I’m picking up a bottle of wine and you know what would go amazing with this wine? Cheese. Specifically this cheese.

I’ve earned it after this week. My boss was down my throat and every move I made it was “why’d you do this? Where is that?”. Maybe she needs to find whatever the equivalent of cheese is in her life. But either way, after an entire week of being someone’s punching bag, Fromager D'affinois is the least of what I deserve.

I’m doing it. I don’t care.

Walking back home I almost tripped twice because in general, I don’t really pick up my feet and when you add any level of hurriedness it’s guaranteed I’ll end up on the ground at least once. 

As I approach my building I can see one of my neighbors chatting by the door. There’s no time for pleasantries or chit chat. Margaret or Mags as she likes to be called, can derail your entire schedule somehow talking about nothing and taking a solid 40 minutes of your time. I’ve learned the best way to avoid anything beyond a simple hello is to pretend to be on the phone. I’m slightly ashamed of using this trick, but be real. We’ve ALL done the “looking at my phone didn’t see you” or “I’m reading and was so engrossed in my book” to avoid an encounter. Sliding past Mags with my phone glued to my ear, I get away with a smile and nod.

Finally in my apartment, this cheese deserves the proper aesthetic. Again, this isn’t just your run of the mill cheddar, a proper entrance is a necessity. The cheese board that costs more than I’d like to share, the fresh fruit that’s sort of to eat, but mainly for creative purposes and of course, the vessel for which this will be consumed, a french baguette. Sitting back and admiring my work, I'm intoxicated. Not literally, but with the perfect wine pairing, I soon will be.

With a watering mouth, I spread the most delectable serving of Fromager D'affinois on my baguette slice. I'd like to savor the experience, taking little bites, but that's simply just not going to happen. The entire slice is consumed in one bite, followed by a sip of a medium bodied pinot noir. The texture, the flavor, the satisfaction of the food going into my stomach. It’s... dare I say better than sex? Apologies to my past flames, but yes. Yes it is.

Followed by another. And another…. And oh no, another? I'm a little over half way done with the Fromager D'affinois, but there’s no stopping in sight.. When it’s finally over, I can’t help but feel a tinge of sadness. There's no more cheese.

But this moment is fleeting because immediately my stomach is roaring like Godzilla. I knew this was a consequence from the moment I laid eyes on the cheese. I knew this was coming and yet I'm still surprised. Like when you're a kid and you know that a lightbulb or a stove is hot when turned on, but you touch it anyway just to see. Maybe I was hoping my lactose intolerance has suddenly disappeared.

I will be the most miserable person for the next 2 days. My entire weekend was given to cheese. Sounds odd when you say it like that.

But, getting down to brass tacks, was it worth it? Absolutely. Will be doing this again? Absolutely. See you in the near future my dear Fromager D'affinois.