Like Seasons, Friends Change!

It’s true when they say, “Like seasons, friends change.” and they’re right. Friends do change like the seasons. I know now that everybody is not your friend. How would I know, you may ask? Because I went through it. I was in college at the time when I met my roommate. It was almost three years ago.

AUTUMN

I was nervous to go to college. It was a huge turning point in my life. Before I left to make my way to college, I packed up my room. The most upsetting moment of my life. That meant taking my life seriously, now, and leaving my childhood behind. My dad knocked on my door.

“Hi daddy,” I said, in a low voice. 

“Hey, baby girl,” he responded. He gasped. “Look at your room, Jessi, it looks empty. I’m going to miss you so much.”

“Me too, dad,” I said, hugging him. I grabbed my suitcase and headed out of my old room. This was a new journey for me and I was nervous to be honest. Nervous to leave, but happy to go. Ever since Mom died of cancer when I was in seventh grade, Dad has been by my side since then. He was overprotective of me, but it was shown that he truly cared about me. Him and my boyfriend, Keith. Keith and I were together for all of high school. We met in seventh grade as he was the cute new boy from Prep School. All of the girls went crazy over him! He has been my only friend since then. My best friend. Then in high school, I found him in a new light. Keith saw me in a new light as well. I was so glad that he liked me for the way I liked him when I was a freshman. That was amazing. I had a best friend and a boyfriend! All at once! I was so lucky to have Keith in my life. And against all odds, we’re now going to the same college together! Spelman is where we are going together. I wonder what’s going to happen there as I thought, putting my stuff in the trunk. Dad came to see me off.

“Well, Jessi, this is it,” he said, fighting the tears. “Our last goodbye.”

I kissed him on the cheek and hugged him for the second time. It was a really sentimental moment. Hugging Dad was so truthful and loving. I wish Mom was here to see it, but she’s with the angels, watching over us. “Goodbye Dad. I’ll miss you.” As he waved goodbye, I drove off silently. Crying, the house looked so far away. I got that sick butterfly feeling in my stomach. I wasn’t sure about this, but then, I remembered Keith. Keith was going through this as well. The pit of my stomach felt empty. Nothing was there. Ten minutes away, I already missed my father. Spelman had a long way to go. An hour and six minutes to go, I felt homesick. I didn’t like it, but you know, when you’re away from home for a while, then you get homesick. I’d always never felt homesick, because Dad wouldn’t let me go out alot at night, unless it was Keith or him. The only times we went out was when it’s my birthday, his birthday, an event, errands, or other things like vacation. I’d never felt homesick on vacation because my dad was there with me. Now, I am very sick, because I’m not home and my dad is not there in the car. I drove without any music or no sounds. I need to clear my mind from all of the overwhelming thoughts about college. It helped. It wasn’t as bad as I thought in the car. Once I got there, I had to do orientation with other people. They would match people up with each other and you would tell them a fact about yourself. There’s nothing interesting about me, so I just told people that I’m majoring in Music Theory, which was technically true. One girl actually found that interesting. Her name was Rosa. I liked her. She was a beautiful black haired girl with dark skin. I got along with her very well. An interesting fact about her was that she’s studying to be a psychologist. But then I got nervous when time was up. She went to talk to someone else because she had to. We all had to. I got to this blonde haired and blue eyed girl. She looked like she was the most popular girl when she was in high school. My heart was beating. I didn’t wanna approach her. She looked so mean and frightening. Like that’s how most popular girls are. I’ve watched Mean Girls before, trust and believe. Regina George is the main one that’s mean and that girl is definitely like that. I spotted Keith in the cafeteria as I was staring at the blonde haired girl. I smiled at him, but he was just talking to this red haired girl and ignored me. He’s Keith, the hottest hottie of this century. Hell, if he was flirting with her, I’d break up with him. Luckily, the red haired girl was flirting, not him. We locked eyes, again. He just waved. Smiling the biggest I could, I waved back. 

“Oh, you’ve got yourself a little boy trouble, huh?” said a voice. “I don’t blame ya. He’s very cute.” I jumped. It was the blonde haired girl that I was afraid to talk to. “Shit, you gave me a fright.”

She giggled. I liked her giggle. It was so high pitched and ladylike, while being teasing and loveable. “That’s your first impression of me? Cecila Roberts?”

I was embarrassed. You could see the red blush on my cinnamon colored skin. “I guess so… I’m not sure....” I said, still embarrassed. There was a pause. An awkward pause. “I’m Jessi, Jessi Starling.”

“Nice to meet ya, Jessi. I’d known you talked back to me after that embarrassing moment.”

She still remembered that? I thought. Wow, that goes to show that I’m awkward as shit. Luckily, she was nice enough not to bring it up. “Well, I guess I’ll see you later,” I said, after not saying anything for a moment. “What if we’re roomies?”

“That would’ve been so cool! I’ll see you around, possible roomie!”

She skipped away as I waved goodbye. Keith came up to me. “At least you made a new friend, babe.”

“Yes, yes I did,” I responded. The R.A advisors gave us our room numbers after the whole orientation thing. And guess what? I had Cecila. For the first few months, we got along great! Everything was great. We got as close as peanut butter and jelly. And it was never going to end! Yes, Rosa is a great friend as well, but Cecila, oh man! She was amazing! Or so I thought.

 WINTER

During Winter Break, Cecila and I still got along amazingly! She told me a secret about how she liked Keith and thought he was attractive, but damn, it was kinda weird. Keith was my boyfriend and that was her crush. We were all friends though. That was the great part. Dad didn’t like the situation that much. I get it. Your best friend, having a crush on your boyfriend, is hella awkward, but it was a good thing that our friendship didn’t turn into bullshit. One night, it just crumbled my world. I thought that our friendship would’ve stayed golden, but I was wrong. It was a party in our dorm room and I wasn’t comfortable with that. I had to cram for an exam the next day. It wasn’t like I needed any distractions, but Cecila manipulated me into doing it and she threatened me with our friendship. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to lose her as a friend, but I also wanted to ace the exam, so I could pass the music theory class. For once, I decided not to worry about it so much. I agreed to party. Now that I looked back on it, it was a huge mistake. A lot of drama and bullshit happened that night. I took twenty shots of tequila that night and I felt like I was hit by a truck the next day. I failed my exam as well. If that wasn’t enough shit to piss me off, then I don’t know what was. I was so tired that I went into the bedroom to see Keith and Cecila, making out in the bedroom. My eyes were bloodshot but I knew what the sneaky bitch was doing to me. 

“Cecila, you rotten bitch pig!” I yelled at her. “And Keith, how could you? I thought you were better than that, but I guess I was wrong.” 

“Jessi,” said Cecila, sweating. “I-I can explain…”

“Me as well. You see…”

“Forget it! I’m not with the bullshit!”

I teared up and ran out. This was hard for me to take. I thought Cecila was my friend and at the time, I thought she was, but it turns out she wasn’t. She was never my friend. I have been angry at her since that night. That night sucked up so much drama. No friends. I’ve been lonely. She noticed how I felt and begged for forgiveness. I didn’t forgive her. Was I even ready to forgive? I doubted myself. As I sat down with Rosa (my true friend), I asked her about it.

“Well, Jessi, do you want to forgive her?” she asked. “Do you want to forgive her for kissing Keith? Remember the girl code, ``Never date your friend’s ex or even kiss him in front of her eyes.’ That’s what it stands for.”

I shrugged. “Gee, I don’t know she looks pretty hurt after that night with the party and I felt pretty awful and I-”

“Jessi, forget all of that,” she interrupted. “As your real friend and therapist, forget her feelings. Just worry about yours. That’ll just create more shit. Like seasons, friends change.” 

I listened to her carefully, but not as carefully enough as I do now. I forgave her, anyway, but I’d never trusted her again.

SPRING

During Spring Break, I tried to mend the relationship with her, even though I didn’t trust her, but she didn’t want to talk or hang out with me, since I didn’t trust her. Neither did Keith. They hung out with each other instead. I saw their posts and instagram stories. They were cuddling, getting close, and many more. I even saw Cecila kiss him on the cheek while they were at the Florida beach. That didn't affect me though. I was going to let them be together anyway. I was done with their shit. All Cecila said was, “I love him so much. He’s my boyfriend now, and that’s a reason why I don’t trust you anymore, Jessi. You lost my trust, since you said that I lost yours. You’re jealous because you’re a jealous bitch and Keith doesn’t deserve you.” 

“Whatever, Cecila, I don’t need him,” I said. “You can have him, because he likes a stank bitch.”

I blocked her ass all over social media. I moved on with my life and I found a new guy that loved me for being a good person. His name was Shawn and man, he was the most loyal guy that I’m so lucky to have. Cecila spread rumors about me, but no one believed her. Suddenly, Keith wasn’t the cutest guy in school anymore, since he dated Cecila, the wannabe Regina George. Rosa became my best friend. I was, at least, grateful to have her as a friend. A best friend. During these seasons of my freshman year of college, I realized how fast people change and it was during the seasons. I gained a friend, she lost my trust, I forgave her, but then she got angry at me for not being a “true friend”. It was a toxin in my body. A toxin that I’ve learned to get rid of. Now, I’m better off without her. Like seasons, friends change.