No Light without Dark

“What can I get you, dear?” I asked the young man who had just sat at a booth alone.

“Um.. I’m actually waiting for someone.” he said, glancing out the window.

“Cup of coffee, to settle the nerves?” I asked him and the man smiled at me.

After settling the man with a cup of coffee, I returned to the counter and began wiping it down. It had been a slow night, just a couple truckers and a few lonely souls, but now I was excited. I smiled at a frazzled looking woman who came blowing in the doors, her beautiful brown hair flying everywhere with the wind. The woman's deep brown eyes met mine and I nodded over to the nervous man. I watched the woman's whole face light up at the sight of him and caught a glimpse of a cozy little house, filled with plants and music, in my mind's eye.

I started brewing another pot of coffee while I let the couple look over our menus. Once they fell into their conversation and were looking at each other more than the plastic covered sheets in front of them I approached their table once again. The boy seemed to have settled down a bit but the nervousness still touched him in the quick way he spoke and the way he picked at the nail on his thumb with his pinky. As they ordered their lives flashed through my mind, I could see the beautiful thing that was starting here, in this dingy little diner. 

The small house, the arguments about money, the man's blue eyes and the woman's brown hair shining on a small child. As if she could read my mind, the woman relaxed, resting her head in her hand and teased the man about something. She reminded me of myself, when I had been young and ready to take on this world. She had a green thumb and loved to create life and her very presence breathed life into even the dullest of rooms. 

The man reminded me of my husband, I thought, as I watched the couple from afar after putting their dinner orders into the kitchen. The poor boy still looked nervous, as though he was second guessing everything he said and did. The woman would be good for him, bring him out of his shell a bit, and he would be able to calm her wild spirit just enough to settle down with her. They balanced each other perfectly. 

I watched the young couple but I wasn’t really seeing them anymore. In my mind, I was seeing another nervous young man, remembering the day I had met my husband. I had been in my garden, relishing at the life I had been able to create around me, when I first saw him. He wore the same nervous look the young man at the table now wore on his face. I had distracted him, he told her later, he didn’t realize anyone was there. I approached him to see what he had been fiddling with and found a few dead flowers in his hand. He looked scared for a moment before I placed my hand over their stems and together we watched them bloom again.

Shaking myself out of my memories at the sound of a throat clearing, I quickly rushed over to the couple to clear away their empty plates and ask if they wanted dessert. The man glanced quickly at the woman and she nodded at him. I cut a slice of pie for each and threw some ice cream with a little chocolate drizzle on top onto the plates. The man watched as the woman dug into hers and I could just feel the happiness radiating from him.

As the couple finished up their dessert and I finished my third cup of coffee, my heart stuttered when my husband walked in. He was supposed to be at work so the fact that he now stood before me was the only thing I needed to shatter my good mood. I quickly filled a cup with coffee and slid it in front of him once he took a seat at the counter. He wouldn’t look up to meet my eyes and I knew it was going to be bad. I quickly scanned the diner, taking in the two older men that sat on the other end of the counter from my husband and the young couple. After a sip of the coffee my husband glanced over at the couple, who were now laughing together.

“No.” I whispered, trying to keep my emotions in check.

“I’m afraid so.” he murmured gently back.

“But they had so much potential. I saw it! They could have created a beautiful life.” I tried, knowing bargaining was futile.

“They all have potential, dear. You know there's nothing I can do to change it.”

I watched the couple now as they argued quietly over who would pay the bill. The young man asked the woman if she wanted to catch a band that was playing at a bar down the road and she nodded. They agreed to walk and suddenly my vision was cloudy. I quickly blinked away the tears and sighed as they began to fall outside. As the rain hit the window it quickly began to irritate me, and lightning flashed across the sky. 

The young man paid the bill and met his date back at their booth. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything to them but my husband brushed past them at the door, resting a hand on each of their shoulders. I shuddered slightly, imagining the iciness of his touch at that moment. The young woman shrieked at the cold rain as they made their way outside and I watched them sprint down the sidewalk toward the bar. I wished they had chosen to just go home. I listened as tires screeched on the pavement and a driver lost control of his car, as it hydroplaned and the resounding crash that quickly followed. My husband entered the diner again and held his hand out to me.

“I’m sorry, love.” he whispered as I placed my hand in his. “You should go home.”

I nodded and allowed my husband to pull me from the diner. I glanced down the street at the wreckage but my husband pulled me away quickly. 

“You can’t save them.” he whispered.

With a deep breath we were in my garden again. I trailed my hand over one of the bushes leaving flowers in its wake. I could feel some of my sadness melt away as I turned and met my husband's kind eyes. Humans were afraid of him and I could understand why. They were always surprised once they finally met him and found him to be the soft, kind man I knew him to be. He pulled me into his arms and I relaxed into his chest. We were made for each other, and while I didn’t always agree with his decisions, I knew they were necessary. There could be no light without dark, no life without death, no me without him.