I MARRIED MY FIRST & ONLY REDHEAD

Hard to believe that after 37+ years of dating the same woman that I've been married to for 35+ years, that I would be writing our love story of how we met. Was it love at first sight? Was it chemistry? Was it a mutual friend who pushed two young people together who were both coming off bad relationships and realizing God was truly building a foundation for a union that would last for a lifetime? Stay tuned and read the true story of a guy who was ready to give up on finding the right lady after 10 failed relationships in 5 years after graduating high school.

My name is Sean, a guy who was a cross between the Alex P. Keaton character from the TV show "Family Ties" and a somewhat shy, yet well-dressed and well-mannered young man who was already a business professional starting at the age of 18. Ever since I was able to date, albeit only once while in high school, the concept of meeting the right girl was through one of two avenues: either my parents made the introduction through a friend of theirs who had a daughter or I found someone who was willing to be grilled as to their family background by my parents. Anyone see the common denominator yet in those two choices? You guessed it -- the parents were going to dictate whom I would date and know that young lady's family. Sound Edwardian? Potentially positioning for betrothal for potential business gain or notoriety? Perhaps, but the era of our story runs from 1978 to 1983, yet one of those aspects still holds true today in many social circles.

In looking back at all the ladies I dated, here's what I came to realize: If the prospective young lady was introduced to me by my parents or through a friend of theirs, the concept of going past a second date with said young lady was not happening (apparently I quickly became a great friend or a brother to them.) For whatever reason, my parents never understood why that was. Oh, let's not forget three young ladies from the church my parents went to who were introduced to me by them and would later use me as a way to get their old boyfriends back! Yes, that hurt tremendously, both to me and my parents. It was hard to believe that I was used to make former boyfriends jealous and then had the nerve to ask if we could still be friends. Surprisingly, we never left the church, nor did we blame anyone for the situation.

However, I did come to meet a wonderful woman named Christine, about my age, and a college student across the street from the church. Mind you, this lady and I became great friends and sat together in church and talked a lot for about a year. We were both in the college and career group in church. My parents were welcoming to all of the people in the group and allowed us to have group fellowships in their home on occasion. Mind you, there was nothing close to a romantic interest in Christine, yet she was approachable and conversational. Christine was also well aware of the treatment I had endured with the three young ladies in church, yet she was compassionate and caring as to how I felt getting dumped for prior boyfriends. This was all in 1982 and 1983.

In April 1983, Christine invited me to have lunch with her and several others at the college cafeteria across the street. Turns out the cafeteria was open on Sundays to family and friends of students to come dine on fried chicken and all the fixings (and for $3.00!) Who was I to turn that down? Anyways, one Sunday afternoon, as 8 of us were seated at a table, Christine pipes up and says, "Oh look, here comes my roommate, Marie! Let me introduce you all to her." Marie was escorted by a guy who didn't seem to smile much and he was clinging close to her, even with their hands filled with food trays. After introductions were made, Marie and the guy she was with made their way through the cafeteria to sit down and eat. Within minutes, you could hear a young lady in the cafeteria make a high-pitched catcall (i.e. "wooooooh!") Christine turned to me and said, "That was Marie doing that. She just signed to me that she thinks you're gorgeous."

Needless to say, that was the first time I was ever catcalled, whether in private or in public. Many at the table were laughing, as I was apparently quite red-faced from wonderful embarrassment. Mind you, she was with another guy at the time and I wasn't dating anyone at the time, so I let the moment embed in my memory. Fortunately, more memories were to be made later that same year.

Having endured a summer romance, for lack of a better term, with the third and final young lady from church (who was actually on summer vacation from her out of state college), I started getting feelings that this could finally be the one. Her name was Leslie and she was a bubbly, short, and curvy blonde that I truly enjoyed being around. When the time came for her to go back to college in the Midwest, I was devastated, yet told her I would come back to see her at my first opportunity (which happened to be a month later.) When I wrote and told her that I had purchased my airplane tickets, reserved a rental car, and told her that weekends would be for us and I'd see other family in the state during the week while she was in class, her response was phenomenal! I told my parents my plans for my 9 days trip that they were overjoyed as well. This was now early September 1983.

(By the way, I had not seen or talked to Marie since that chance encounter in the cafeteria since April. In fact, Christine rarely talked her up.)

My trip to the Midwest in early September 1983 was met warmly and lovingly. We spent the first weekend together hanging out with her roommates, going to dinner, and even getting introduced to her church family near the college she was attending. I was on cloud-nine. As I said my good-byes that Sunday evening after dinner, as she had an early class the next morning, I told Leslie that I would be back Friday night and looked forward to catching up. She said that she couldn't wait.

Friday afternoon came and I arrived at the college campus. Apparently Leslie forgot to mention that there was some form of off-campus field trip and she wouldn't be back until later that night and we'd meet up on Saturday. Okay, no big deal, as her older brother was also on campus, so we guys hung out. Saturday came and I called Leslie, only to be told she wasn't feeling well and could we meet for an early dinner instead. Okay, no big deal, yet even her brother seemed to be puzzled by that.

Finally, 5:00P.M. comes about and I show up at Leslie's college apartment. She answers the door looking like she's dressed to work around the house or on a farm (flannel shirt, jeans, sneakers, and a cardigan.) She did not smile, nor did she hug me. In fact, her roommates were nowhere to be found. Maybe I was naive or too focused on going to dinner, as I had made reservations at a nice steakhouse in the big city about a half hour away. She got her purse, closed the door behind her, and off we went to have dinner. For some reason, she was not overly talkative, nor was she smiling. I didn't ask what the issue could be, so I just maintained a positive attitude and hoped that would make her mood better.

Dinner was delicious, so was dessert. Paid the check, back to the car, and back to campus. As we got back to her college apartment, her roommates were still not there. She put her purse down and asked me to sit with her on the couch, as she needed to "tell me something." It turns out that she was seeing another guy named John who went to another college near her. Apparently, the so-called "off campus field trip" was them getting away together.

What Leslie was doing was breaking up with me, as this other guy had her heart long before she met me at the church back in Riverside where she spent summer break while visiting her parents. She also proceeded to tell me that I was far from romantic and she didn't want to delay the inevitable of dumping me. At this point, my devastation was silent anger mixed with sadness. I thanked her and wished her well and proceeded to leave, off to find a hotel off campus before heading to the airport the next morning to fly back home. Once home, I told my parents what happened. They were stunned, yet wanted to know more how the visit with family went during the week. Several in the college and career group asked as well and they were all stunned! As always, there was Christine as a friendly shoulder to vent on. Personally, I was ready to throw in the towel and either join a convent or monastery and not ever date again. Fortunately, someone corrected me that I would not be welcome at a convent (in fact, the exact words were, "Oh gosh, those poor nuns wouldn't know what hit them!")

Late September 1983, I was given permission to host a college and career group social at my parent's home, as they were with friends at a theater out of town and would be home late. Christine called me that afternoon and asked if she could bring Marie, as she was bored and would love to be with others on a Saturday night. I said that would be great and looked forward to seeing her again. That Saturday night would be the start of something beautiful.

Several from the group were arriving within minutes of each other. Christine and Marie were the last to arrive, yet it was quite interesting as to how Marie was reintroduced to me. "Hi Sean, you remember Marie? Thanks for letting her come tonight. Oh, by the way, she's fighting laryngitis and can't talk." It was hilarious watching Christine laugh and Marie pantomiming and signing her joy and frustration at her predicament.

(It occurred to me that I've not properly introduced Marie to you, our dear reader. Marie was 19, had long red hair, sparkling brilliant blue eyes, stood around 5'2", and maybe weighed 95 pounds. Her face had a smile that would light up a room and her playfulness was refreshing.)

As the evening was progressing, someone piped up and said it was time to play Uno and we'd play as teams of two. Crazily enough, Marie and I were partnered up! Being that the family room floor was spacious, we decided to play on the floor. Since Marie was battling laryngitis and couldn't speak, I was her voice. There was even one point in the game where Marie said her back was hurting, so I voluntarily gave her a lovely back and shoulder rub. Apparently the smile and other goofy grins let all in attendance know she was quite happy with the attention.

9:30P.M. was upon us and many had to leave, as they had a curfew at the college campus dorms. Others were getting tired from a long Saturday and enjoying good food and fun at our fellowship. As others were leaving, Christine said, "Thanks for letting Marie join us. I haven't seen her this happy in a while. In fact, I think you've stolen her heart." Marie playfully feigned embarrassment at the statement. "That's alright with me, as she's stolen mine." Marie bearhugged me something fierce and I returned the favor.

Days would progress and Christine would call me to ask if I could help Marie and some musician friends at college with transportation to an out of town faculty recital. Needless to say, I jumped at the chance. However, once we returned to campus, something transpired that I wasn't ready for. Apparently, Marie had broken up over the summer with the guy she was with when we first met back in April. This guy, for whatever reason, wasn't taking "we're done" for an answer and was waiting at the girls' dorm lobby to confront Marie.

As I let the other two musician friends out of my car, Marie asked, "Could we drive around for a while? I need to stay away from him." My response was affirmative, so we found a Carl's Jr. drive-thru and got us each a soda. About 20 minutes later, we went back to the dorms and the guy was still at the main door. Once again, Marie asked, "Could we go somewhere and talk? I should probably tell you what's going on." Needless to say, I was at the ready and found a spot close to campus, as it was getting to be late and curfew was coming up.

After Marie shared her story and her heart as to what had transpired, she asked if we could pray for him to be gone from the door and not bother her. We bowed our heads, closed our eyes, and each of us prayed as though life was at stake. After some time, I started the car and drove back to the dorms, realizing that prayer was answered and he was gone. After getting Marie's door, I walked her part way to the girl's dorm and bid her good night. All was well.

A few days later, Christine called me again, this time with an agenda and ultimatum. "Why haven't you called Marie? You do know she likes you and I'm sure you like her. Why haven't you asked her on a date?" Ever have one of those moments when your naivety meets honesty in responding to an interrogation?

"First of all, my work has been crazy. Secondly, I don't have a phone number for her. Third, there appears to be an issue with an ex-boyfriend." Christine's response was priceless, yet put all the onus on me to step up my game with Marie. "Here's her number, as it's the payphone on her dorm wing. Secondly, her ex-boyfriend is just that and you won't have to worry about him. Besides, you would be the best thing that happened to her, so ask her out!" Within minutes of hanging up, I called and asked Marie for a date -- she said, "Yes!"

October 3rd, 1983, comes about and I'm ready to take this cute redhead out on a more formal date. I made reservations at Bobby McGee's in Brea, which was about 40 minutes from the college. Marie came downstairs from the dorms wearing a beautiful dark beige lace dress, her long red hair flowing down her back, nice heels, a cute sweater around her shoulders, and a smile that was practically flirty. I had on a similar color three-piece suit, tie, and black wingtip shoes. I was 23, she was 19, and I was smitten.

While the details of the date would be enough for another story, I can summarize and say that we both enjoyed the four courses and fabulous service in our private dining room. What I didn't expect was after the date when I pulled into the parking lot at the girls' dorm.

"Do you mind if we find a place where we can go talk? It's early and I'm not really ready to go in yet." I said, "Sure, and I know a great spot we can do so with a view of the lights overlooking the town." As we made our way to a small bluff off of La Sierra Avenue on the way to Lake Matthews, I was wondering what Marie wanted to talk about. As we parked my car and shut off the engine, our view was a sparkling autumn evening where the stars were as bright as the lights down below us. She kicked off her heels and appeared to try to make herself more comfortable in the passenger seat of my VW Jetta. As we're talking, I keep noticing that she's constantly moving about. Then it hits me -- she's wanting me to make a move and I don't know how to, especially on a first date! Yes, I was that naive, which most likely explains why I had ten previous failed relationships. Then not much longer after she gets comfortable, the inevitable happens.

She pulls me closer and kisses me right on the lips! Oh, and what a kiss that was -- tender, soulful, passionate...and she made the first move! I was even more smitten at this point.

After a while, we realized she needed to get back to the dorms. Once we arrived in the parking lot, I kissed her again, opened her car door, and walked her to the main door. As I walked back to my car, I felt something I had not felt in a long time. I could tell that God truly was looking out for me, as if to say, "Now that you've stopped trying to find someone on your own, here's who I have in mind for you. By the way, she just happens to be a redhead, who also happens to be the first and only one you will ever date."

Thank you, Lord, for what you did that night. Here we are in 2020 and still going strong (and she's still a natural redhead with a beautiful smile and a heart for God.)