I Said That Again

People just do not understand why a person repeats themselves . I do not remember that I told someone something more than once. I could tell someone what happened to me last week, or maybe a year ago, and just keep telling them what happened to me. I lost friends because they did not understand, that is not my fault I repeat myself. For example, my friend Dina, I know from high school. We have been friends for twenty years. Our friendship ended two years ago. I heard my phone beep one morning, Dina text me she said Tamra," I can not be your friend anymore" I understand you have Epilepsy and have to take medication to control your seizures. Sometimes you do not remember what you said to me. For example, yesterday you text me asking me if I got my, COIVD shot? I text you back and I said I did get the Jenson shot".You asked me this question, just four days ago. I text you back, and said" I did get the COVID shot, and I got the same shot as you".Then you always text back and say sorry. Sometimes you will tell me, what happened to you a year ago. I have heard the same story about when you went to see your son play in the band in a football game at the college he goes to West Virginia. While you were sitting down with Gary, durn half time a football hit you in the chest. You did not get hurt. This story you must if texted me or called me to tell me about ten times. I had enough. I text Dina back and said sorry,I should write down what I say to people. Dina text me back, Tamra you are who you are, and can not help repeating yourself. Dina stops texting me, and block me from texting her. My other two friends do not text me anymore Pam, and Gina. I do not bother calling them.I am guessing it is the said reason, what Dina said, about me repeating myself. It hurts not having friends, I never tried to make new friends. I am glad to have my penpals. They understand why I repeat myself in the next letter, I write back to them. They will tell me Tamra you told me this already. I have a notebook for my penpals. I write down what I told them twice. So far,I have not lost any penpals.

My husband Gary, will tell me Tamra the story you just told me I heard a lot. He does tell Tamra I know about you seeing a wild turkey outside last week. Sometimes before saying something, Gary will finish my sentence. I say sorry. My son's Evan who is twenty-six, and my other son Jake his age is twenty-two. Tell me mom we are tired of hearing about the story of what happened to you in high school.

Now to tell you about what happened to me in high school, when I was a senior. This story happened to me about thirty years ago. I was in the class Human Resources. I was sitting down at a desk. I was listing to the teacher Mrs. Finney who taught this class. She dresses so weirdly. Today she had on a grey skirt, it looks to be cotton material that went to her knees. She had on socks that were cotton, went up to her knees. The socks had color lines on them. She had a white button shirt she tucked into her skirt. She had grey hair, sliver eyeglasses, with a clear lens. I do not remember what type of shoes she had on. I remember that day in class Mrs.Finney called me to her desk. She said, "Tamra why do you have a squirt pen your writing with"? I said I am using it to write with. I said there is no water in it. I push the button and water came out and hit her on her nose. I was sent to the principal office. I did get one-day detention. I still remember when I walked into the room, I had to go in for detention. The other kids that had detention were surprised I came into the room. I heard one kid say oh my god look who has detention. The teacher in that room told that kid to be quiet. I usually a good student, and never get into trouble.I do not remember getting into trouble after, what happened in Mrs. Finney's room. I think I told her I was sorry.

Epilepsy ruined my life. Gary told me how I got epilepsy. Going back twenty -two years, I was six months pregnant with my son Jake. We were going to Cape Cod to camp. I was surprised, we were going camping when I was six months pregnant. Gary said we were staying in a log cabin. The car was a white minivan Gary told me,, our son Evan was four he was sitting in the back in his car seat. We also had our dog Candy she is a black labrador she was two years old at the time. She was in the back of the car. Gary heard Candy barking, and when he turned he saw I had a seizure, He said he pulled over to the side of the road and called 911. The doctors did a lot of tests to see what caused me to have a seizure, The doctor told Gary I have epilepsy. The reason I had epilepsy was that I had meningitis and encephalitis. The doctor told Gary I lost five years of memories and maybe more.I was glass my son Jake when he was born, he was fine. I did go the nine months and did not have to go earlier.

I am on meds to control my seizures. This is why I repeat myself, I not like repeating myself. Having epilepsy I can not drive, and I can not work.

It is depressing at times how people look at me, and how sometimes someone will get mad at me for repeating myself.

I am always afraid of writing a story, I will use the wrong characters in the story, that I first start with. I have to write down the characters so I do not change names.

Take life one day at a time, and enjoy it.