The Weaver Bird and the Rite of Passage

Some mornings, when I am leaving for work, my wife, who has a somewhat deep focus on and a constructive interest in my moral betterment, besides packing a sandwich, also shows me videos, stories, photographs and stuff that she feels will be educative and inspirational…

A couple of days ago, she happened to show me a video about Weaver Birds. Weaver Birds are found all over the world, but the specific trait I am going to tell you about, is exhibited by Males of the species en masse.

The Video showed the right of passage that a Male Weaver Bird has to go through, when he comes of age! This left an impression on me that just knocked the socks off me, and left me in such a feverishly disturbed state of mind that I "have" to tell you about it!

Let me try and explain how incredible it is what the “male” weaver bird (hereafter referred to as MWB) goes through… 

When the male weaver bird gets to that “certain” delicate age, when in humans the Dad takes the son aside to talk about the Birds and the Bees, something in his birdie DNA kicks in.

Inherently handicapped by the lack of a father figure, who would explain the delicacies of ‘coming of age’, the MWB has simply to fall back on compelling ingrained provisions in his genes.

So, one fine early morning, he gets up, and instead of setting off with Joe and Jack, looking for the proverbial worm, he sets about constructing a nest… first, please note that only, and only the male has to construct the nest…

In order to get you to fully appreciate the MWB’s travails, let me paraphrase them into human terms.

Now, if humans were doing what the MWB does, here is how you would start…

First, you begin by taking all off all your clothes and discarding them by the wayside (did you ever see a bird wearing jeans?)… Now, once you are standing (or sitting) buck naked on a branch, then, you begin by selecting an appropriately first strong branchlet (several sizes bigger than you), and then you try to tie a knot, of a really thin piece of long-grass, with this branchlet, creating a kind of woven mesh, using only your mouth and left toe…

The piece of grass itself, that forms what can be called the foundation stone of the whole nest, is of ISO9000 standards… to obtain this desired object, the male bird has to hunt literally for hours: the piece needs to be fresh, about .2 cm wide and about 15 inches long… sometimes, tying this first knot can take hours and literally hundreds of attempts…!!

And of course, the MWB has to repeat this hundreds of times, without the benefit of a formal engineering degree, or even an appropriate apprenticeship!

The size of a nest can vary from several inches to more than a foot for high-achiever MWBs… The whole nest, when completed is like a cylinder, open from the bottom (supposedly a predator and competitor repelling strategy)…

At a conservative estimate, it takes 7-10 days for a MWB to complete one nest… And it is understood that a MWB typically builds several nests in a season… no slouch our Tarzan!

This goes on, and on, and on, and if you ever happen to watch a video of the MWB, you will see how intricately the poor sap builds his nest of dreams…

Mind you, he is not alone, no Sir!

All around him, many other braves are doing exactly the same thing… because unlike humans, where the male sometimes gets to stay on in the parents’ house after marriage, in the Weavers, the young gent has to construct a nest if he has to <ahem!> attract someone, and kind of get to the next stage…!

So, then, finally, one day, most nests are ready… Apparently the MWBs are not totally driven by their testosterones… most of them complete the nests to a 90% stage, the final polish to be given only when approved by the lady!

Now, again, imagine yourself, still naked, sweating like the bezebus, your mouth and toes blue from all the work you have done… but, hey, you can now get to attract the clientele…

You do this by standing outside your nest and frantically waving your wings (arms) and twittering desperately… while all around you, several other, ahem, <excited> MWBs are doing exactly that… so here are about 10 -15 of MWBs going berserk… a scene irresistibly reminiscent of a bus terminus in India with private bus drivers calling out to would-be passengers to attract them to their vehicles!

Meanwhile, where is the fair sex?

She is taking her own sweet time… on the surface, the female WB looks unbelievably cute…but what exactly is her role?

She sits on a branch, rolling her eyes here and there, fluttering her eyelashes (I do think FWBs have eyelashes?), and covertly examining all the nests…

To torture the MWBs even more, she sometimes makes nest-visits, hopping in, just to test if she likes their interiors/design plan etc etc.. this goes on, till finally she makes a choice, and chooses her beau…

If a FWB selects a nest, things proceed pretty rapidly and the happy union is blessed with eggs within a matter of days!

You might think that this is the end, but no mate, it is not

What happens to all the frustrated MWBs that did not get the girl? You wouldn’t believe it, but they have to start all over again!!! YES! It is true!! Each MWB who does not get a female, has to dismantle his Taj Mahal with own two beaks and paws… reason: females only want “fresh”, “green-grass” nests, so the shelf life of a nest is only about a week… 

It is also understood that in this amazingly tough cosmic universe, not every MWB gets a mate… sadly, many MWBs, rather, most MWBs do not get to be a parent of a screaming, squabbling, ugly chickadee!

Man…

Moral of the story buddies… if you think you had troubles, think again… Would you like to exchange your life with a MWB? where would you be if you turned into a male weaver bird in your next janam (reincarnation)…

You would be hanging upside down a neem tree, buck naked, with grass in your paws and froth on your beak…!

So the next time you happen to come across a MWB, take the time to pat him on his head, and offer him a sip of whatever is going around…