Journey's Journey

Dear Reader,                                   

My name is Journey. I’m a cute, sugary sour gummy worm straight out of the package. My siblings have all been eaten. I escaped. I hope my digested and expelled brothers and sisters didn’t feel too envious that I had been the lucky one.                      

Am I lucky? They all died. Eaten by a kid with a desire to snack on such sugar-laden candy.

Life is bigger than a mouth of air and saliva, a throat and a stomach of acid. Hot, I assume, like fire.

I’m going on a journey. I want to become a famous. A famous what, you ask? Well, that’s something I need to figure out. I know I want to do something with my life, but I just don’t really know. I just need to find out how to be more than a snack. Funny, isn’t it, how a candy worm should have meaning to his life! Well, my name is Journey. Besides, it’s not every day you hear of a real live gummy worm journeying through the pages of life to reveal his story. But I will.   

So, I’m crawling, squiggling and inching along this place, hearing these huge towering skin-clothed creatures called people in this world called Seattle. I’m not very familiar with places or things, as you know I’m just a worm. But I’m venturing. I’ll find my way, mind you. But it must be something I want to do. It can’t just be something I pick up because my friend told me. 

I don’t want to do just that. I want to find my own place in the world.    

All these cars and lights and sounds and sights overwhelm me at times. Still, I must bear them. I’m a tiny thing, constantly adjusting to such a world as Seattle. I’m so glad I don’t live in a world populated by trees or animals. Thank goodness I haven’t been plucked up by some ravenous bird or hungry deer sick of grass. I must find my way. Make my way known among everyone.

How are you going to make it if you are such a tiny little worm, you ask? Well, I’ll make it somehow. Maybe crawl into a restaurant or candy shop…  

Ah! You say. You can save other candy worms from being digested and eaten by kids. That’s your goal in life. Save them from the fires of the pit of the stomach.

Well…

Yes, you say. Please! You’re a little piece of candy brought to life somehow to save the world from total annihilation. And that starts with you.  

Well—

And you will, all by—

It’s my life. I need to think about it. 

I’ve given you something to live for. Why can’t you just follow my suggestion?

Because, reader, it’s my… *sigh* I don’t want to lie to you. Ever since my family’s been eaten by this huge figure named Robert, I’ve been trying to search for meaning. I don’t want to burden you with pessimism, but I’m just a gummy worm. I don’t really know…. I’ll just sit here and think about it. Sit and think.

No. You must fulfill your calling.

Calling? What, am I a lone dog heeding the call of the wild? Am I—

You’re a gummy worm, and whether you like it or not—

This is bordering on weird. I mean, what difference does it make whether I’m a gummy worm in a package or a gummy worm in the hand of a monstrously large person about to be enjoyed and flushed down the rushing, roaring waters of the sewer—

No, don’t talk like that! You must stay positive. None of this discouragement will ever see you through. You said you were—

I’m just a gummy worm—

No. You are a hero.

How?

Uh…maybe by escaping the package of gummies!

Yeah, but none of my siblings did. Besides, who am I to accept life when they couldn’t?

Sorry, but you’re here. You can’t change history.

But…I might as well—

You know you’re talking to—

No, I know. I’m the writer. I’m talking to someone. But you must understand, I’m a gummy worm. You need to know a gummy worm named Journey wants to go on a journey to stardom. What kind of stardom? I’m—

I think you need to reevaluate your life, little guy. Think about all the possibilities. You have the world in front of you. You can’t just sit and—

Think?

Hah, hah. You’re so funny.

Okay, but where does that get me?

I don’t know. What do gummy worms do for a living?

Use your imagination.

 Let’s do this.

What?

Let’s keep this whole conversation a secret.

Because you don’t want anyone knowing you talk to a gummy worm?!

Be—

Let’s start over. I don’t know how to figure my life out. I’m just made, processed, sugar-coated, sold and eaten. That’s it. My life in a nutshell.

Well, you could turn it around.

Yeah, and I’m the band leader, exiting through the sliding glass doors of a grocery store, gummy worms singing my praises.

Hah, hah. You could really entertain.

Entertain?

Thought about it. Maybe not.

Well, you’re trying to come up with ideas, too! Besides, I thought you were here to help me.

Yeah!

But you don’t really know me. I mean, I never see you unless I’m right in front of you. And then you’re gone. 

Stop saying that! You’re Journey. You’re supposed to go on a journey.

I wonder what that is…

Stop being so sardonic.

Mordant would be a good word.

Do you think a mortician—

A what?

Nothing. I don’t want to give you nightmares.

I already do. Of my siblings being ground into tiny pieces by the human’s teeth. I saw it. And I don’t want to go back there.

Then—

I know. I should be a smart gummy worm.

You decide. I’ll give you time.

No, don’t go! I need you—

The gummy worm sat there. Journey needed to think. He decided to do something about how he was missing out on life.

“I’m Journey. I can do this.” 

He crawled over to his suitcase, packed his stuff, put on his little 1930s cap and styled himself a cute bowtie. Let’s go, Journey. He crawled across the little table, down one of its legs and across the carpeted floor. The house was quiet. The owners had left for the day. He didn’t want anyone coming home.

“Besides, I’m not here to be eaten.”

Journey inhaled and then exhaled. Let’s go, Journey. He crawled and crawled, eventually finding a place where a mouse had chewed through the lower portion of the front door. Outside, the wind tossed his hat. Journey scurried towards it. It blew into the street. Journey persisted. Suddenly, a car swooshed it right in his path. He crawled and crawled, soon inches from it. He opened his mouth, his neck outright. Then he bit down!

The wind teased him, flicking the hat up and down. Journey, however, was now dead-set on snatching his hat from the thieving wind.

It picked up. No, Journey thought bitterly, pursing his lips. He ventured and crawled, heading right towards it. The wind whistled, almost suffocating him as it blew in his face, laughing. Cackling. At least its whistle sounded stupidly familiar. Like the time his siblings were taken in with a gust of breath that was Robert’s mouth.

Journey scurried and scurried, and then congratulated himself as he adorned himself again. However, the wind just kept playing this game. Journey persisted, determined to win again. The wind obviously thought it was hysterical, for it blew again and again.

That’s it! Journey threw himself at the hat, grabbed it, holding onto it with all his might, and crawled back into the house. No more wind. It can blow all it wants. Outside! He returned the writing desk, set his hat down and retreated to—

You. My reader.

Well, thank you.

Yeah. Anyway, I couldn’t go out today. My hat. It kept blowing away.

How about you go without it—

No. no. you don’t understand. I must show up the best I can. What’s a gentleman without his hat?

A—

That’s right. A loser. First of all, if I’m to make it in life, I must—

First understand what you want to do to make it in life. How can you say you want to make it if you don’t want to know whether you can? You must give up.

Give up? What—

Maybe the wind was telling you something.

Uh—

A gentleman doesn’t always need a hat. He needs an attitude.

Look at how I was dressed.

I couldn’t.

Well, I was wearing a bowtie and a hat, and a suitcase was by my side.

Gee.

You know what?

What?

This is dumb. How about we just go our separate ways, since you don’t want to go out—

It was windy!

And I was the wind.

Okay, Reader. Give up on me. You know!

No, I don’t know.

You should!

I’m talking to a freaking gummy worm!

Who are you anyway?

Um…maybe your friend.

Written.

Literarily.

What?

Nothing.

No, what?

Nothing!

Please.

We’re pen pals.

Fine. Whatever that means.

Well, we communicate through paper. We may not see each other, but we can still communicate as if we do.

Okay…

You see, friends don’t always exist together to be so. We can always be friends through pen and paper.

I think you’re going a little crazy.

No, it’s true.

It’s true you’re a freak?

No! I’m just explaining some things that may be hard for you to understand.

Oh. I wish I could—

You can.

Okay. So…

My reader explained. I didn’t quite understand. But I still talked to him or her.

Look, Journey, you’re on a journey.

To discover myself. To search for meaning. I can’t fill a hole so big I don’t know what to do with it.

No—all you have to do—wait, how are you going to make it big in life?

I don’t know. I guess…that’s a little crazy. I’m just imagining everything. I’ll never be more than a sugary treat for kids.

Well, you are, but I thought you were a little upset about that empty space in your life. Want to fill it?

Sure.

Well, come and see me. And I’ll tell you what to do.

I crawled and crawled, soon reaching my reader. He was so large. Flesh and eyes and hair plus a mouth and teeth and fingers and hands. Feet covered by shoes the size of a dog’s paws. Wow. What a creature! I looked up at my reader. He looked down at me, and smiled.

“Hey. I’m Robert. I thought you looked familiar. I want to help you—”

I scrambled. I dashed. At least I tried to. This Robert person was going to end my life—just like my siblings had been! I raced towards something to cover myself so my reader couldn’t attack. What if I were next? What if he were the enemy? What if I…?

I thought.

“You know what?” I called from my hiding place. “Go on—eat me. You did my siblings.”

“Yes. Go on.” I closed my eyes.

“Your duty?” He laughed. “What is that?”

“Maybe I’m not fit to be big. I’ll just join everyone. To die is better than this terror of life, right?”

Robert pursed his lips, I saw, when I reopened my eyes. Then he took a step back. I guess he was here the whole time.

How stupid of me! What chance does a gummy worm have against this world full of gummy worm eaters?

“Maybe my friends will consume you, but I won’t. I won’t!” Robert backed away, waving his hands. “I won’t. I—”

“Promise to let me go.”

“Yeah…” He scratched his head and whispered, “Good thing Mom and Dad aren’t here—”

“Honey.” A slam of a door. “We’re home. Who’re you talking to?”

“Uh…” Robert fumbled. “You wouldn’t understand.”

At least he was honest.

“Okay. Well, we have to go out again. See you soon!”

The door slammed a few minutes later. Robert blew a sigh. “Wow. I guess I shouldn’t talk to—”

“Your food?”

I jerked my head over to my cap, bowtie and suitcase. “I’ll be going. You’ll keep your promise, right?”

“Yes!”

I scurried, taking the same path. Soon, I was outside. The wind wasn’t blowing anymore. I strived to see around in the semi-darkness. I crawled and crawled, glad my hat stayed on my head. Every crawl soon made me forget my self-degradation. I was free! Free to save everyone else, just like I had been spared to do so. I inched across the street, across the sidewalk and into a huge, lighted area people called a grocery store. I stared all around and then tried finding the candy aisle. Once I had spotted gummy worms struggling to get out of their package, I cried to my friends. I dropped everything, racing to help them. They were all smiles, so glad I had come to save!             

“Hey, guys!” I scrambled up and released them by tearing through the package with my puny mouth. Freeing one by one, I smiled as each gummy worm traveled away. After I crawled down onto the floor, I called out to them, cheering them on and wishing them farewell. But no one thanked me or cared that I had spared them from a human child. Sadness sunk into me like Robert’s teeth into my siblings.

I was alone now. Maybe my journey to become big was selfish. If I were to be known, it wouldn’t matter—I would just be like everyone else. Following. Accepting my fate as someone destined to ignore the poor unlucky gummies. Someone ready to simply accomplish his purpose in life.  

I whisked myself out of there, going to the heart of the city. I journey away from people, seeing lights and a set of stairs. I go up them. Maybe I’ll shine for them. Yeah! Excitement surged inside me. “Come on!” I tell you. You’re my viewer. You can come with me! 

I journey up here, where the fame and fortune is right in front of us. I look in awe at all the flashing lights of the cameras and strobe lights of the stage up ahead and fancily dressed people. If only—

What’s that, you ask? What am I trying to do?

Viewer, I’m doing something important.

I must be something. I must get through the mess of high heels, polished shoes and even carpet fibers sticking up like weeds in a garden. I must do it for my friends. For my siblings.

Watch, viewer, as I ascend. Watch as I—

Viewer! Where’re you going?

I’m going back to—

No! You must see—

You’re just a dumb worm. Who’s going to get eaten by one of these people, or thrown away, anyway.

Heartbroken, I watch. My new friend is leaving. I stay, and then head across the carpet, down the ramp and towards the stairs. Go, go, go! I tell myself. I climb the stairs. I am under the lights. And on the stage.

“HEY, EVERYONE! I’M ON THE BIGGEST PLACE YOU COULD EVER GET TO! THE AWESOME WORLD OF THE STAGE!” I scream to the audience. I wait. I could hear a pin drop. A few men keep talking. A pair of women laugh, one of them talking humorously. Others look at me, squint their eyes and mutter that there’s nothing there. They must’ve heard something. Or nothing, rather. 

I look down. The stage is black. I look up, and squint. Someone looks down from a ladder escalating a long way up to the blinding lights above. I jerk away, and then try again. I think he’s looking at me! Yes. I’ll tell him no one’s paying attention to me, and then he’ll bring me to them so I can tell them—

Whoa! Where’s he taking me? I am hanging by his finger and thumb, probably about to be dumped into a trashcan. No, he’s going to throw me away! Don’t just let Journey’s journey die right in front of him. I’ve come so far. I’m not a failure.

I need to show—

Grrrr! The sound of water makes me panic! The harsh gurgles and sputtering roar as I’m drenched. Then, I see a wide oval of a mouth open up. I close my eyes. Bye, Robert. Bye, world. Bye, gummy worms I saved. Bye, book and pen and paper and bowtie and cap and suitcase. I'm going to drown in the fiery pit of acidic hell.    

I open them.

Do I dare believe it?

Robert rescued me! I could cry tears of sugar. But the stage is that way, I look over his shoulder. I tell him. But he soon places me back on the writing desk. I take off my hat and set down my suitcase. Wait, where are they? No—I left them back there.

He says I belong. With him as his friend.                                                

I beg him to take me back. He says no. I try pleading. He stands firm. I stop reluctantly. 

Robert smiled and then scribbled something. Let’s just be pen pals. Maybe I could bring other gummy worms. They’d be your friends, right?

I’d just be befriending ignorant gummies. I sighed. No one loves me more than freedom. Robert is my only friend. I tell him the grocery store incident. He scribbles furiously, saying he’ll buy different, unsour gummy worms. He’ll take me, even! I chuckle, shaking my head. Robert doesn’t get it—he’ll eat all of us!

I say goodbye to Robert. I’ll find my own way in life—where other sour gummies can live with me in peace. Where I can show them that I alone can prove to an unforgivingly cold world that this world is worth living.    

I am on my journey.    

Towards success.