The Manager

What does she want? For things to go smoothly, for once. For a chunk of time. Forget always, that’s not real, but just for a chunk of time. Life is a roller coaster, full of ups and downs, but she remembers riding those roller coasters, so many years ago. She remembers those slow, torturous ups, and seemingly vast stretches of level ground before the drops or before the end of the ride. When she was a kid, they took forever and were the most disappointing part. But adulthood is opposite land – she wants those up and level periods now, for good long chunks of time. She’s sure she’s been through them before, good time, periods where things were only getting better, where the news was almost always good. Better yet, she thinks, are those blessed times of peace and calm, when nothing exciting is happening at all. She gets so much work done, she stays so on top of things, when there’s nothing going on. So, what does she want? What else could she want but for things to go smoothly, to be level, if only for a nice little chunk of time. A month? Two months? Six months, why not? Dream big. Six months with no wrenches in the works. No layoffs, no catastrophic vehicle failures, no break-ups, no earth-shattering fights with friend or family or lover or coworker.

“You are too old, and your wish far too mundane, to have tracked down a wish-granting time dragon,” said the wish-granting time dragon.

Eva did not dignify this with a response, but merely continued to stare into the bright ribbons of gaseous lights that made up the shining vortex in which the time dragon lived. No meditation video on YouTube had quite captured the mystical relaxation that was these shimmering lights, despite, Eva was sure, the best efforts of the hardworking creators.

               The time dragon sighed. “Did you hear me, woman? I created myself out of the need of the young and the hopeful; the ambitious and cunning. I punish those who wish purely out of greed and reward those with pure hearts who wish for the sake of making the world a better place. The trials you had to go through to get here… I do not exist to give you a couple moments of peace so that you can settle into a nice routine. Such a wish is cynical. You are too old to wish.” The time dragon’s ethereal voice was soothing but commanding. Even so, the exasperation was unmistakable.  

               “Time dragon,” said Eva, “can I wish to speak to your manager?”

               Eva chuckled at her own little joke. To her surprise, the time dragon gave a soft chuckle as well. Eva was immediately annoyed. It hadn’t been very funny, after all. A feeble dig at privileged woman in Western society. Even so, she felt heartened that the dragon had a sense of humor. Its glittery scales rippled with the chuckle and returned Eva’s peace. “Dragon,” she went on, “I can see the banality of the request. But I want it with everything I have. I am passionate about living level for a bit. You said you punished greed, and I believe you, which is why I would never ask for more than a few months out of the cosmic plan where simply nothing happens to me. I walked through the fires of the hell plane; I defeated a monster that was plaguing a helpless village; I faced my fear of spiders, learned that my real fear all along was abandonment, and faced that too. I found the sacred mushroom and it deemed me worthy to consume it so that I could see you. I’m sorry that it took me a little longer than it might have taken others. I’m sorry that I found both peace and cynicism in the process, instead of just peace, or, I don’t know, peace and hope. I just want six months of no wrenches in my works so that I can develop good habits. I would argue that if I was too cynical, I would not believe that I could make use of that time to develop good habits; and that if I was too old, I wouldn’t be foolish enough to wish for six whole months of peace, knowing how big of a wish that is – no one ever has six whole months of everything going smoothly in real life. If you like, you can say I’m being greedy and let the natural consequences eat me up; six whole months of level living will spoil me rotten.”

               The dragon of time considered Eva with her big, warm eyes. Eva did not know the extent to which those eyes saw inside of her and could recognize that whether her wish was granted or not, Eva felt that all the trials had been worth it even for these few moments of peace, in this perfect place, with the soft warm lights and the comfortable creature. There was genuine concern in her eyes, despite her earlier scolding. The dragon wanted to help. She cared. “I think,” said the dragon, “that you must be right. You must be young at heart, to feel that walking through fire and slaying monsters, facing your fears and becoming worthy, means that you deserve peace.”

               “It’s a childish way of thinking,” Eva agreed, “I’m not saying it’s not. But after all, this was the goal. This is proof that magic exists. If magic exists, I’ll do anything to use it. Like money or downtime. I use what I have, I don’t pretend it doesn’t exist. I might not deserve this, I might be too old or too cynical, but I’ll try to utilize it anyway. I have no better argument than that.”

               The dragon sighed. “You have heard of the rules of giving wishes to magical creatures? I cannot grant you what? Love, Life, or Death. No one much wishes for Peace, so it doesn’t come up as much but it’s another thing I cannot grant. Precisely for the reason I’ve given. The wish is too mundane. It would change both everything in a profound way, and nothing at all, to give you no life for six months. To let you spend your time as you wish, with no obstacles nor cosmic rewards, big or small… this is too great an ask from the universe.”

               “Then let me stay with you,” Eva cried, and she really was crying. It had come on so suddenly that it had taken even her by surprise. Her tears floated from face in the strange gravity of the place and sparkled in the swirling lights. “My wish is to stay here. For six months or forever. However long I can.”

               “My child,” said the dragon softly, sadly, “six months here is but an instant. You have been here six months already. Knowing that you have already had the time here you requested, will you still go back now? Was it still all worth it, just to be here with me for a bit?”

               Eva woke in her bed, the baby crying out her sleep. Her husband snored on, and Eva knew that he had to work so early in the morning that it would not be fair to wake him. She crept out of the bedroom, down the length of the RV in which they made their home and pulled the baby out of her pack-n-play, holding her close until she drifted back to sleep.