Catfished

Today is going to be a great day. Today is fishing day. The fisherman was happy. The weather was sunny with a few clouds and not too warm, not windy either. Perfect conditions for a big haul of catfish at the nearby park. His partner had loaded up the SUV with his rods, tackle bags, some bait. They jumped into the car and drove over to the nearby park.

He pulled his SUV into a parking space. He got the bucket for the catch out and left it near the car in the parking lot. They each grabbed two poles. The fisherman took the bait. He left the tackle bag for his partner to carry. He strode quickly from the asphalt to the grass. He paused. 

From the parking lot, it was only about fifty yards down to the shore of the lake not too far away.

The fisherman took in the view below him. Blue water, kind of kidney-shaped, a few acres total was the lake. Some vegetation here and there in the blue, not too much, mostly clean water. The narrow east shore was blocked by some heavy vegetation, as were parts of the west, but the north and south shores were clear with a few trees here and there. He turned to his partner, pointing: “Let’s set up near this big oak tree over here.” He started off down to where he had pointed, without looking back to see if his partner was following.

They put a pole in the water each, drove the pole holders into the ground, left them standing up, lines shimmering in the sun when the slight wind blew. They each cast out with a second pole. 

After a while with no luck, a park worker drove up in a small green and khaki golf cart. Stopped, he asked: “you two catch anything?” 

The fisherman didn’t bother to look back.

His partner replied after a pause: “Not yet.”

The park worker continued: “Nobody ever catches anything around here.”

The fisherman’s interest was piqued: “Fish are dumb, and lazy, I will catch them! It’s always a lot of fun. It’s a fun game!”

His partner had a chagrined look, smiled apologetically. The park worker drove off.

The fisherman cast out again. He felt a pull on his line. Ha! He had one! He reeled it in. Easy. Not the biggest catfish, but not too bad. He handed the catfish to his partner, who began the trek back up to their SUV, and upon getting the struggling fish into the bucket, his partner wiped a sleeve across sweated brow, leaned back against the vehicle, and took a drink of water.

Meanwhile, the fisherman caught another small catfish. He turned, bent down on one knee, got the hook remover from the tackle bag, and began removing the hook. 

There was a disturbance in the water behind him. Kinda loud. He focused on his work, got the hook out. More odd noises behind him, like footsteps but not.

He shouted up to his partner at the car that he caught another.

His partner hurried back to him. The fisherman told his partner to take the fish up to the bucket, handed the fish grabber to his partner with the catfish dangling below. His partner started trudging back up to their car.

When he finally looked back towards the lake, he saw nothing, just some slowly fading large ripples in the water right near the shore. It looked kind of wet and the grass disturbed going up the bank. The trail led up to the big oak, behind it even maybe, and continued no further. Was that a dark really big whisker or tip of a really big fin sticking out from behind the big oak?

Oh! His other pole was tugging! He had a bite!

As the fisherman was struggling with his latest catch, the nine foot long catfish slid one eye from behind the big oak to make sure his prey was distracted. His prey was! He stroked his whiskers with his left fore-fin, deep in thought. Ah! He had it! He emerged from the cover of the tree trunk. The giant catfish then stealthily skipped on his fins around the back of the oak away from the shore and behind the fisherman. A twig snapped! The giant catfish froze in place, fish eyes focused with trepidation on the back of the fisherman. The fisherman didn’t appear to notice, engrossed in his battle with the fish on the line. The giant catfish breathed a sigh of relief through slightly open gills. He continued his stealthy stalking, fin by fin getting closer to the back of the fisherman. Only a few fins left now…

The fisherman had finally reeled in his catch. He barely turned his head, looked back toward the car: “Got another one! Boy, these fish are dumb! They never learn!”

Fin, fin, fin. The catfish reeled up to his full height, balancing on his tail-fin.

The fisherman must of sensed something - the breath of gill, the tread of a fin, the stare of fish eyes? No one would ever know. He turned abruptly. What was THAT? Eyes widening more and more in shock.

The giant catfish leaped up and forward, mouth wide, swallowed the fisherman whole, head first, all the way to the tips of his boots.

He stood up slowly, gulped, wiped his whiskers clean with his fore-fins, croaked a few times in satisfaction. Time to go back in the lake and digest, he thought. He happily ambled back to the shore, slid into the lake and disappeared underwater, leaving only ripples behind.

The fisherman’s partner saw the whole thing from the parking lot. Did that really just happen? Couldn’t be, could it? 

At this moment the park worker drove up again in his golf cart: “Where is your fisherman friend?”

The fisherman’s partner exclaimed: “he was just swallowed by a giant catfish! It hid behind a tree, crept up behind him, swallowed him whole, and went back into the lake.”

The park worker: “really …”

The fisherman’s partner: “really …” just looking at each other.

After a moment of deep contemplation, the park worker said: “Well, you know what they say: It’s all fun and games …”

The partner continued: “Until someone gets eaten by a giant catfish …”

And the park worker: “that can walk on land …”

Finished the partner: “and ambush people from behind trees apparently….”

The park worker nodded sagely.