Over the Years

“It’ll be alright,” she whispered. “Everything will be okay.”

Her fur, Celestina realized, once sleek and soft, was now dull and patchy. Her fingers got tangled up in the mess but she swallowed the lump in her throat and continued to stroke her dog’s frail body. Artemis was shivering, even though her coat was still thick and the warm summer breeze blew in from the open window. Celestina kissed the top of her head and looked deep into her blue-and-green eyes, trying to find a glint of playfulness.

She only saw exhaustion.

Guilt pierced through Celestina like a knife. How could she be so selfish? Artemis was in massive pain, and even if she was able to live another week or so, her limited days would be in agony. No matter how much Celestina wanted her to stay, she knew that letting her go would be best.

Maybe… Maybe bringing her to my university was a bad idea.

She shut her eyes tight to prevent the tears from coming out, but a few squeezed through and left trails on her cheeks. She felt a wet tongue and opened her eyes to see Artemis weakly licking off the tears. Her heart seemed to break in pieces as she met her viridescent-and-cerulean gaze.

“Celestina.”

A hoarse murmur behind her made her flinch. She slowly turned around.

“The doctor says it’s time,” Riya said gently. Her eyes were red. “We should get going.”

Celestina shook her head. “Just… Just a few more minutes,” she begged, shuffling closer to her dog. Her legs were starting to become numb from kneeling on the floor. “Not yet. Please.” 

Her girlfriend hesitated, then nodded. “Okay,” she whispered and left the room.

Celestina let out a sigh and scratched Artemis between her ears. She let out a feeble yet pleased whimper as Celestina smiled sadly. She remembered the day when she had first adopted her. It was such a long time ago, but Celestina remembered it clear as yesterday…

---

It was the eyes that had first caught her attention. Those strange yet beautiful heterochromia eyes, one blue and the other green with long black lashes surrounding the different colored irises. It was as if there were a shiny sapphire and sparkling emerald hiding beneath the little puppy’s eyes, her playful gaze drawing Celestina like a moth to a lamp.

The second was her energy. The tiny canine would not stop barking and moving, chasing her own tail, crying for more treats. Her vigor was enticing; Celestina could’ve watched her play all day in a trance. When was the last time had Celestina been so full of zest? Perhaps nearly half a decade ago, but for this little puppy, despite the tininess of her domain, it was clear that every day was a new day, a new day to frolic, a new day to be happy. Celestina felt her eyes burn as she watched the baby Husky run around in her cage in circles, her zeal for the little stump of a tail on her hindquarters never ceasing.

“Well, this one sure is lively,” her mother laughed. “I can see her breaking several plates already.”

Celestina quickly turned to her mother, hope surging through her. “W-Would that be alright?” she asked nervously. “You won’t mind?”

Her mother shook her head, smiling. “I like her, actually. I think her enthusiasm would help you with your introversion.” She gave Celestina a hug which she gratefully accepted. “I’m proud of you,” she murmured, stroking her daughter’s hair. “To think you had suffered all those years alone… I’m sorry for not knowing.” She choked back a sob.

Celestina shook her head. “Please don’t blame yourself,” she pleaded. “I-I should’ve told you about it. It isn’t your fault.” She embraced her even tighter.

Her mother sighed. “I know,” she said miserably as she pulled away, “but I can’t help but feel responsible. Middle school is supposed to be the time of your life, but instead, your father and I-”

“Mom!” Celestina interrupted. “It’s fine. It’s all in the past. If anything, I’m glad you guys separated. He was such a jerk.” She forced a smile, anxious to change the subject. “We came here to adopt a dog, remember? The therapist said that adopting a pet is a great way to handle depression, so we should get on with it.” She slipped her hands through the metal bars and tickled the baby Husky’s chin who yelped, trying to gnaw on her fingers. “Can you get a worker please?” Celestina asked without looking up. “I want to take her home as soon as possible.”

Her mother’s eyes misted. “Of course,” she said quietly as she walked away. 

Celestina tried to ignore the nagging guilt in her stomach and focused on the puppy. Her eyes were truly divine, she thought, looking deep into those fine pools of blue and green fringed with dark lashes. She giggled as the tiny Husky got tired of her fingers and resumed chasing her tail. The amount of energy this ball of fur contained was endless and Celestina wondered if she would ever have the vivacity the puppy possessed.

---

“I don’t want you to go, Artemis,” she whispered, stroking the stubborn tuft of fur on her head. “You’ve done so much for me. How can I live without you?” Her voice cracked with despair.

Artemis stared at her. Even though the light in her eyes was dim, Celestina could still see the wisdom in them. It was as if she was saying, “Of course you can live without me. You’ve done it before. You’ll be fine.” She nuzzled her owner’s neck and whimpered. Celestina tried to keep back her tears as she gently smoothed a knot in her fur. How ironic. She was trying to convince her dog that everything would be alright, that she was going to live a better life, but it seemed as if Artemis was the one comforting her. Was she just trying to convince herself?

“Celestina.” 

Her body stiffened. She tried to ignore the intruder, painfully aware of who he was, but he spoke again.

“It’s time.”

---

“She’s beautiful!” Riya cried as the canine jumped on the bed with an excited bark. She gave her a hug and observed her face. “Her eyes are so pretty,” she complimented. “What’s her name?” 

“A-Artemis,” Celestina stammered, trying to calm the dangerous speed her heart was beating at. This was the first time she was introducing her dog to her girlfriend, despite talking about her several times. At the sound of her name, Artemis barked and licked Riya’s nose, earning a happy giggle from the girl. 

They were in Celestina’s room, planning to rest after a long day of multiple college prep exams. Celestina sighed. Junior year was tough, but what she was about to tell Riya made her shake with anxiety. “My… My therapist said that animal therapy would be a good remedy for… you know. My depression. She looked at the ground in shame as she forced herself to go on. “So my mom and I adopted her. Artemis… helped me a lot and made me realize that I’m not alone…” She trailed off, embarrassed. I probably sound like some emo middle-schooler, she thought bitterly, wishing she hadn’t said anything.

Riya stopped playing with the dog and looked up with concern. “Oh Celestina…” She took her girlfriend’s hands in her own. “Look at me,” she said gently when Celestina refused to make eye contact. “It’s okay to have a bad past. It won’t change the way I see you. I love you for who you are, and honestly? I’ll always be grateful to Artemis for helping you find yourself again.” She shifted closer and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. Celestina sighed and rested her head on her shoulder as she continued. “Depression isn’t something to be ashamed of. I’m really proud of you for fighting it.”

Celestina smiled and looked up. “You have a great way with words,” she said softly. “But thank you. I really needed that.” Riya beamed as she kissed her back. 

“Woof!”

Both of them flinched as a furry head tried to squeeze through them, letting out an indignant bark. Riya laughed, stroking Artemis’s ears. “In some ways, you two are kind of similar,” she quipped. “Like how you both love being the center of attention.” A mischievous glint in her eyes told Celestina that that wasn’t the only kindred thing she saw in them.

“You’re making fun of me,” she complained.

Giggling, Riya kissed the top of Artemis’s head and flashed Celestina a smug glance. “You’re just jealous,” she teased. 

Celestina rolled her eyes, though she felt her lips twitch into a smile.

---

“You can accompany her while we move her to a different room,” the doctor said. His voice was grave as if he understood the agony Celestina was going through. “But you have to stay outside while we proceed. Witnesses are forbidden.”

Celestina nodded, numb with misery. She held back a sob as she stood up on shaky legs and helped move the wheeled bed. Artemis was silent throughout, but she occasionally licked Celestina’s trembling hand. Putting on a brave smile, Celestina ruffled her gray-and-white fur. The doctor gave her a sympathetic look, but she ignored it. She had no room for his pity. When they arrived, she was surprised to see a slouching Riya on a chair in front of the room. “Riya.”

She flinched and noticed the trio. She immediately walked towards them and embraced Celestina, her body quivering violently. “I’m sorry,” she whispered in her ear.

“It’s okay,” Celestina murmured back. She stepped away. “You should say goodbye.”

Nodding, Riya knelt down and gently brought the ailing Husky to her face. Letting out a small whimper, Artemis barely had any strength other than to touch her nose with her own. “I’ll miss you a lot, Artemis,” Riya said so quietly, her voice no more than a breath. “Thank you for everything.”

---

Riya wandered around from store to store, trying to find the right one. She could’ve sworn it was right around the corner… Oh! She turned to Artemis, who was sniffing the floor in search of crumbs. “Come on, girl,” she said, patting her head. “We’re here.” Artemis stopped and looked up. They were in front of a small jewelry store with glittering lights decorating the exterior, giving off an expensive yet high-quality atmosphere. Artemis caught a whiff of the shop and let out an unhappy moan. The stench was nearly intolerable.

Riya smiled sympathetically. “I guess dogs don’t like the smell of snobbiness either, huh?” she teased, giving Artemis a good scratch behind the ear. “But I’m going to need your help, so just stay right here for a moment.” She handed the leash to one of the promoters that were at the entrance with no context; confused, the man just took it and looked at her weirdly as she stepped inside. Artemis tipped her head to the right. 

A few minutes later, Riya came out holding two necklaces. She knelt down to Artemis and showed her the ornamental chains. One had a gleaming sapphire, while the other had a pretty gold design. Artemis’s eyes sparkled as she lunged towards them with her mouth wide open, but Riya quickly raised her arm to prevent her from damaging both the jewelry and her bank account. “Stay,” she ordered.

Artemis whimpered, but she obeyed.

“Okay, good.” Riya dangled the necklaces in front of the Husky at a safe distance, showing off the beauty of each one. “Artemis, I’m going to buy one of these for Celestina since she’s turning eighteen, but I’m not sure which one,” she said. At the mention of her owner’s name, Artemis barked. 

Riya laughed, trying to ignore the piercing gaze she felt burning on her neck from the promoter. She wondered if he had nothing else to do but watch her talking to a dog. She turned the necklaces around, basking in their elegance. The cost didn’t matter; she was only worried about spoiling her girlfriend. “Which one do you think I should buy for her?”

Cautiously, Artemis gave each necklace a good sniff and studied them. She thought that the one with the blue shiny thing had a nicer smell than the other one; the dull yellow object stank like old coins. She nudged her nose towards the azure-encrusted chain.

Riya nodded and brought the sapphire necklace to her face to observe it closer. “I agree,” she murmured. “It also matches your eyes. Well, one of them at least.” She smiled and kissed the top of Artemis’s head. “You’ve been a great help, thank you, Artemis.” 

Wagging her tail happily, it seemed as if Artemis was smiling back.

---

Riya wiped the corners of her eyes. Giving the dog one last kiss, she stood up and buried her face on Celestina’s shoulder. “I’m done,” she said, her voice muffled. “God, I can’t… I can’t even look at her.” 

Saying nothing, Celestina held her partner closer and met Artemis’s gaze. She looked so worn out, yet there was tranquility in her eyes. Celestina understood that this was what Artemis wanted: a peaceful life with the pain in her gone. She bit her bottom lip.

---

“She has a tubular mass in her abdomen. That’s why she won’t eat, and whatever she digests she throws back up.”

Silence met the doctor’s words. Riya took in a shuddering breath as she leaned on Celestina, her body shaking violently. Silent tears streaked her cheeks.

“B-But what about surgery?” Celestina stammered. “Surely it can be cured?”

The doctor sighed. “She’ll live another two weeks or so,” he said quietly. “But she’ll be in so much pain during the duration that I don’t think it’s worth it. I believe the other option would be best.” 

The other option-? With horror Celestina realized what he meant. She was about to ask him how much the surgery cost when Riya laced her fingers with her own. “R-Riya?”

Though her eyes were red, there was certainty in them. “I don’t want her to suffer, Celestina,” she murmured. “I think we should let her go peacefully.”

Celestina felt her own tears streaming down her face. “No,” she sobbed. “I can’t live without her. No, I won’t live without her. A life without Artemis isn’t worth living. ” 

Riya gave her a sad smile. “But she would be free,” she whispered. “Free to run around and play, just in a different place. Don’t… Don’t you want the best for her?”

Free… Celestina realized how greedy she was being and saw the sagacity in Riya’s words. Artemis deserved a better life, and Celestina would only be holding her back. Closing her eyes, she felt her heart shatter into pieces. Every fiber of her wellbeing screamed at her to just pay for the surgery, but deep inside, she knew what she had to do. She opened her eyes.

“We’ll go with the other option.”

---

“Artemis.”

 The Husky tried to keep her eyes open, but it was getting harder by the moment. Her hazy gaze rested on her owner, the girl who had taken her in and nurtured her for over a decade. Artemis tried to bark in response but was too weak to do so. She could only look at her.

Placing her cold hands on her paws, Celestina spoke, “You’ve done so much for me, Artemis. I’ll always be grateful for the life you’ve given me. You’ve taught me that I’m not alone a-and there are people who care for me and love me. Your love for life made me realize how precious life really is.” She swallowed and, mustering up all the courage she had, said, “I’ll always love you, Artemis. You’ll always be a part of my life, no matter what.” She kissed her nose and stepped back with Riya, who was now bawling. Wrapping her arm around her girlfriend’s waist, Celestina’s eyes glistened as the doctors took over.

You’ll always be a part of my life, no matter what.

Artemis knew that. She knew that even when she was gone, a part of her will always be with Celestina.

Resting on Celestina’s collarbone laid the sapphire necklace that she always wore, the one Artemis had chosen for her all those years ago.