Shaping Up

Charlie bounded into the kitchen knotting his tie.

“Hi, hon,” he said, swatting Miranda's shoulder so heartily that her coffee slopped onto the table. “What’ve you got lined up for today?”

Miranda eyed him. He was never usually boisterous first thing in the morning and his jollity seemed forced. It was also unusual for him to show any interest in her activities.

“I don’t know yet,” she said, mopping the table with her napkin. “I’ll go out somewhere for a while. Agneska is coming today.”

Agneska, their Polish cleaning lady, was very set in her ways and did not like having anyone around while she was working. Charlie bent over, kissed her cheek and squeezed her waist.

“Got some love handles there, have we? Have you gone to the gym since I gave you that membership for Christmas?”

“No, I have not,” Miranda said, wearily rising. She vaguely considered tossing her remaining coffee in his direction, but he was already waving at her from the front door.

“Almost forgot…I have a meeting this evening. Don’t wait up.”

Miranda went upstairs and showered. Drying off afterwards, she looked at the frumpy clothes on her side of the closet, the only things which still fitted her. Charlie’s half was full of new, smart, tailored suits and shirts. She tried to remember when she had last bought anything new. Her eye fell on the sportswear he had given her along with the gym membership.

“I suppose I could check it out,” she muttered.

Much as she hated to admit it, she had gained weight. Squeezing and squirming, she finally got the leggings and top on. Turning in front of the mirror, she admired the sleek silhouette they gave her, until she had to breathe and her curves spilled in new directions. She peeled the clothes off with difficulty, tossed them on the floor and changed into a baggy T-shirt and track suit bottoms.

Once at the gym, nervously clutching her membership card, she approached the desk.

“Hi, I’m Toni,” chirped the sleek, Spandex-clad receptionist, displaying dazzling white teeth as she smiled. “With an i. To distinguish me from Tony with a y, our fabulous personal trainer over there.”

Tony, a good-looking muscular young man, was supervising a flabby middle-aged client who was grunting and groaning as he attempted to lift weights. Alarmed, Miranda stepped back.

“Perhaps this was a mistake. I don’t think I could do anything like that.”

Toni pouted sympathetically, patting Miranda’s arm with scarlet-tipped fingers.

“Don’t be intimidated Let me give you the tour. We have lots of other activities besides weightlifting. Come with me.”

By the time they had toured the dance studio, the walking track, the yoga room and tried out some of the exercise equipment, Miranda was overwhelmed. Everyone she saw seemed to be in fabulous shape and totally coordinated. Her head whirled as Toni prattled on about toning and stretching and reps.

“And last, but not least, here’s the swimming pool, jacuzzi and sauna,” Toni said, opening the door to the ladies’ changing room just as a slim, young brunette rushed out, almost colliding with Miranda.

“Excuse me…oh, hi, Miranda. How are you?”

“Er, hello,” Miranda said, frantically trying to remember the names of the various trophy wives of Charlie’s law partners. The brunette beamed.

“I’m Charmaine. Kevin’s wife. We haven’t seen you at the country club or any of the firm’s functions lately.”

“Yes, well, you know how it is,” Miranda said, smiling through gritted teeth. Charlie had not invited her to the country club or anywhere else for a long time. “I’ve been busy.”

“I hear it’s really hard to lose weight after menopause,” Charmaine whispered, leaning in. “I admire you for trying. Well, gotta go. See you!”

Miranda felt tears well. She swiped her eyes and turned to Toni.

“Thank you so much, but I just remembered I must be somewhere. Bye.”

She rushed outside before Toni could react. Finding herself in a tastefully furnished patio area, she subsided into a chair in the most secluded corner and burst into tears. As her sobs subsided, she closed her eyes and took some deep breaths.

“Here, looks like you could use this,” said a deep voice.

Miranda looked up and saw Tony, the personal trainer, proffering a packet of tissues

“Thank you, Tony with a y,” she said, dabbing at her eyes.

He smiled. Despite his impressive build, he had a kind face.

“What’s going on? Anything you want to talk about?” he said.

Before Miranda knew it, she was baring her soul about everything.

“So, I’m boring and fat and post-menopausal and I might as well be invisible …oh, goodness, I’m sorry. I never talk about personal stuff, never mind with strangers, and here I am dumping all this on you.”

She stifled another sob.

“It’s fine,” he said. “Why don’t we go for a coffee? There’s a nice place near here. I don’t have any clients scheduled till later.”

Miranda glanced at him, startled.

“Well, I don’t know if that would be appropriate. I’m married.”

“So am I,” he said, grinning. “If my husband doesn’t mind, why should yours?”

“Oh,” said Miranda as she stood up. “You’re, I mean, to say…”

“Yes,” he said. “I’m gay. We don’t all present like Liberace, you know.”

“Sorry for stereotyping,” Miranda said as they entered the coffee shop. “I’m afraid I’ve led a very sheltered life.”

“It’s all good,” he said as they sat down with their coffees. “I must admit I have an ulterior motive. Let me explain.”

Miranda's heart sank, afraid that he was going to ask her for money. Charlie had frequently told her how gullible she was. Oblivious, Tony continued.

“How did you feel when you entered that gym?”

“Inadequate, stupid, out of place,” Miranda said without hesitation. “Everyone seemed so glossy and perfect. Even though Toni was friendly, it was intimidating.”

He beamed.

“My husband Victor and I want to open our own gym. Instead of aiming for the beautiful people, we thought our target clients would be people like you. What do you think?"

Miranda grimaced.

“Fat, out-of-shape, older people, you mean.”

“Stop putting yourself down. Regular people who haven’t exercised for a while. People who want to get in shape to stay healthy and feel better, not impress anyone else. What do you think?”

He looked puzzled as Miranda burst out laughing.

“It’s that crazy, huh?”

“No, not at all,” Miranda said. “It’s just been a very long time since anyone asked me for my opinion on anything. I might as well blend with the wallpaper for all my husband notices me and our daughter lives overseas. I think it’s a very good idea. Where are you in the process?”

Tony grinned wryly.

“Still in the dreaming stage. Victor works in banking, so he understands the business part, but finding a building and funding is taking forever.”

“I used to work as a realtor, quite a good one too, if I do say so myself. I could reach out to some of my former colleagues if you’d like.”

“Would you?” He beamed. “That would be awesome. Why did you stop working?”

Miranda looked down and shrugged.

“My husband is a lawyer. Since he made partner, it’s all about the image, so he didn’t want me to work. It was fine when our daughter was growing up, but since she’s flown the nest, I don’t know what to do with myself. I volunteer at suitable organizations. Nothing controversial, of course. I'm what you might call a knotless thread these days."

Tony smiled.

“Put my number in your phone, please, and let me know if you have any advice. I’d better go. Time for my next client. Bye now!”

Miranda waved as he left. She sat for a while longer, sipping her coffee and wondering how she had ended up in such a rut. Glancing at her watch, she decided it was safe to go home. The smell of furniture polish and floor cleaner hit her as she opened the front door. As usual, Agneska had left the place spotless. Dumping her handbag on the kitchen table, Miranda went upstairs and stopped in her tracks. Charlie’s side of the closet was empty. Knees buckling, she sat down abruptly on the bed, feeling as if she had been gut-punched. Her eye fell on a piece of paper propped on the dressing table. She got up unsteadily and unfolded it.

“I know it’s cowardly to break the news this way, but I thought it best. It’s not your fault, but our marriage hasn’t been working for a while, and I’ve met someone else. Don’t worry about finances. I’ll be fair. Talk to you soon, Charlie.”

Too numb to cry, Miranda wondered who she could call. Their daughter Marie didn’t deserve to be dragged into this mess. Her best friend Donna was going through treatment for breast cancer and had enough on her plate dealing with chemo. Skimming through the contacts in her phone, she suddenly realized that almost everyone else she knew was somehow connected to Charlie, spouses, ex-spouses, and friends of his law partners. Noticing Tony’s number, she pressed it before she could hesitate.

“Tony here,” he said cheerfully. “Hi, Miranda. What’s up?”

“Can we talk?” Miranda blurted.

“Sure,” he said. “Is everything okay? You sound stressed.”

“Charlie’s left me,” she said and dissolved.

The next six months were a blur that Miranda was glad to blot out of her mind, but the one thing that stood out for her was Victor and Tony’s kindness. Marie had come for as long as she could, but Tony and Victor were her mainstays. Friends and acquaintances from her married days were awkward and distant or avoided her altogether. Victor and Tony chivvied her into finding a lawyer, house hunting and dealing with all the other matters that came with the end of a marriage. Finally settled into her new townhouse, she invited them over for dinner.

She was surveying the table critically when the doorbell rang.

She flung open the door and hugged them. Victor flourished a bouquet of flowers and Tony proffered a bottle of wine.

“Thank you, guys,” Miranda said. “Come on in. I still can’t find half my cookware, so I ordered out. Hope it’s okay.”

As they finished the meal, Miranda raised her glass.

“To new beginnings.”

They clinked glasses. Miranda leaned forward.

“I have a proposal for you guys. Charlie did at least keep his promise to be fair financially and the house sold for a good price. If you are still interested in your new gym idea, I’d like to be your first investor. A realtor friend of mine has even found a building that might be suitable.”

Victor and Tony looked at her and then at each other.

“Well,” said Tony. “Yes, if you’re serious.”

“Serious as a heart attack,” said Miranda, grinning. “I feel like I’m getting my groove back. I’m remembering what it’s like to be me and not just performing the successful lawyer’s wife act. I used to despise women who lived in their husbands' shadow. Hard to believe it happened to me. I thought you could use me as your first before and after story but emphasizing that I’m working out for me and my health. I don’t know…a blog or podcast or something. You youngsters understand all that social media stuff much better than me. Now, another toast. To Charlie.”

Victor and Tony looked at her askance as they raised their glasses. Miranda laughed.

“Yes, to Charlie. He didn’t know what he was unleashing. Cheers!”