It's Time to Refine, Not Define

               It’s time to refine, not define

         “Hi I am Mark and I am hear to listen, learn, and interpret, so hold on to your hats, actually let them go, and we shall begin.” That sounds innocent enough but I should have added this qualifier , “If it gets too much, meaning being here, or from what you hear, feel free to cut out, and, oh yes, this, “Cut me off”. For I am to be the professional interpreter for this group of, let’s call them, ‘Out of towners’, but as one would learn, they were a little more, ‘out of, than a town. My role sounds innocent enough, but as I have heard a few of my colleagues say “Mark, you don’t know when to quit and stop thinking too much.” I should have exercised these options and realized I was biting off, rather, interpreting, more than I or anyone could chew. I love to define, and redefine, but one need to desist too or you may find yourself defined before your time.

         It all seems like yesterday. It was but the eerie part is it seems like it, and that is not the way it is supposed to be. My colleague, Joe, came up to me and said, “Mark, we are having a special meeting for some special friends, and after a short vote, you, Mark will be the professional interpreter, so let’s try to keep them friends shall we. “Nancy who knew my ways of interpreting things in various ways knew of my nature and said “I know you and your ways Mark, but regardless, we want you. In fact it seems everyone coming to the meeting wanted you, despite our warnings.” I knew she had a good sense of humor but there was something mysterious into her humor and was two other people who gave me the news.

         Gary then entered the room and put his hand on my shoulder and stated “These people coming in here, 8 to 12, are from various backgrounds and value and language types we are trying to organize a forum where we all can share our ideas on what programs we can offer here, at Rydell High.” I knew he joked about the high school which was in the movie Grease, but I sort of felt I was in a movie but in this one, my interpretation applies.

         The characters set in the room and after Gary made his informative declaration, Ann came in and gave me some words of encouragement, and also, cautioned me on my, ‘encouraging words.’ I listen carefully but somehow though I understood these humorous cautions, I did not, let’s say, define my ways of interpretation. All sat down and after I was introduced, by several people, each with a witticism of each or his own, I announced myself and the purpose of this meeting. All did agree, each in one’s own way, but I kind of knew that. One person, Judy made a statement, in her own language, on how I knew so much and I learned forward, looked at her and said “ I interpret as an act of, now calm down, not  an act of war, just an act of a little advancing movement of an idea. It wasn’t heard quite that way for I could see some rustling, but a kind of unnerving one.

I looked around the room and I could see everyone looking at Judy and murmuring. One person, Pete said in his own language, naturally, We should allow him to tell us what he thinks he knows, and give us time to hear it.” I of course interpreted Peter’s statement, a little differently, according to what the members of the group heard. They seemed to hear something like “Let him speak for there will be time to let us in on our state of affairs and then, allow it to take form.” I did not realize I was interpreting some of these responses, or conversation starters as many of them turned out to be, as I, but I knew I had to do something. I interpreted everyone to be calm, but I didn’t, or couldn’t, stop there. I heard a few remarks in a few languages, oddly similar to my own, as I thought, and I interpreted but could not stop until these several believed I was not, developing a program, but somehow programing them, to develop certain things that were, let’s say, not social reform but the instructions were there, though not clear.

Gary and Ann moved over to Joe, and spoke to Barbara who was the lead spokesman for such groups and said “ I think the members here are hearing what Mark is interpreting, but not as he thinks he is interpreting. Barbara then looked around the room and said “This is true but I believe Mark is interpreting some of the sentences in his own way, without even realizing with he is saying. We used to joke about stuff like that, but today, no one is laughing. I then looked at the my four colleagues and said, solemnly, One of the group offered his comments and I paused, scanned the room, and interpreted. “But as if something thrust me to interpret this a bit oddly, it was received as “If anyone of us shall last if we are to be programmed, we all must submit to the cause, and allow our fate to be shaped”. I wondered what shape we would be in later.

I could see that there was some soft speaking and turning of heads and I was informed from a few members of what they believed I was interpreting their words to be, not that my own interpretations of myself was doing any better. I wanted the older days when others hear with joke about my witty and extensive interpretations of various words and phrases, but this is not my knowledge of interpretive measures had intended. I took a couple of steps forward to the group and spoke” I can see by what I have been interpreting that we are getting the wrong idea, and I may be getting the wrong ideals. We are all here to come up with some good ideas for some social developing programs for this establishment, and I will take suggestions.” I heard a deafening pause, and I can see that what I wanted others to hear, and what they did hear was not quite in sync. Someone in the group asked, in her language, which had an ominous resemblance to my language, and everyone else’s, despite its different context, “Would you interpret my request and your response to the group.” I leaned over to reassure her and skimmed, first the group, then my colleagues who were looking for a way out, or a way to, out me, and gave my interpretation. I could sense that I went too far and my what the class members heard was that I was somehow trying to use them to assemble some program to control someone’s social actions and mold their attitudes of social subsistence.

Joe who remained stiff and quiet through most of this tried to calm the group down and reassure them, and Ann and Barbara joined in with in with Gary, who was using some defensive hand gestures to guide the group. I looked at the four of them and tried to ensure to the group of my humble, or at least, supportive intentions but fate had somehow taken hold. I walked around and spoke with each individual member as I figured, close personal contact should be a good remedy to some clear communication. I spoke to each one as the others listened and I interpreted what was occurring but as I did, I could not stop at one mode of explanation and began to interpret as I had feared they would see fit, although I could tell it was, not fit, for anyone in the room. I interpreted each person, and I seemed to give a piece of the puzzling message everyone. I stood up and began to interpret, using more words, synonyms, altered phrases, and I knew I had run amuck and if this would continue, we would all have to run, out into the muck.

I can recall that the more I tried to circumvent what I had been interpreting or at least clarify, the more I was quietly and gently compelled to define, not refine, which would be better for all concerned. I then got up in front of the group and made a statement which I hoped would put things into perspective. “ I hope all you heard you don’t take the wrong way, or  go down a beaten path, and then went on to try to redefine what I meant to get across as I was interpreting. “ I did not hear anyone speak but I knew as I interpreting what I thought I heard from others and what I wanted to reply back to them, that there were words and phrases and sentences that just didn’t add up, or if they did, it was a sum total that would not actually be the goals or the achievement that we had hoped. I looked at my four colleagues who looked like they were in another room, another town, but they looked at me like this is where I had been all this time, and I was somehow not the interpretation ideal that each thought. I was too ideal, too big for my bridges, and somehow lost perspective on how to interpret and when to interrupt it. I could see that they didn’t believe it was all my fault, and somehow the members of this group seemed to convey a similar idea but would this alleviate them in their counter attack, or good-willed resistance against me, or this place, which I had called, ‘an establishment. I did not know but I knew this wasn’t the time to care, for we would have time, to redefine.

After I gave my closing remarks, and naturally my interpretation of what all did hear or what I wished to convey, putting my, ‘defining and redefining’ moments aside, I looked around and saw some somber and alluringly attentive faces. They all seemed to be speaking softly at once, and although with different languages, which by the way, closely resembling our language, I could hear some soft spoken statements, on how they would assemble themselves, and confront me and I wished this interpretation was wrong, but I only hoped. I then walked to the middle of the room, and looked at the door in the back, hoping I would not have to make a quick get-a-way, but I did not have to interpret this feeling. Everyone in the room, including the director who made his way into the room three minutes ago, knew what was going on, but might be me, who might be going, on, and, then, off.

Ann and Joe introduced the director, Mike, and also his immediate successor, Carol, who now spoke to each other and then spoke cautiously to Gary and Barbara who came to join the threesome, and I interpreted this to be the oddest thing as usually in meetings this doesn’t happen. Then they all began to walk toward me and I gave a grin as if to say, ‘this sort of thing does usually happen, but I am always able to walk away.’ However I knew this day would not be as what everyone hear defines as a normal waking day, and as an interpreter, professional as I am sometimes referred, this was not a day in the scrapbook. I spoke to each of my colleagues, then, as I would have it, as I could not restrain my interpretation, only mold it, I spoke to the group. “ I will give my interpretation, as cautiously and as defensively as I can to what I think occurred hear, what I believe I heard from you all, what I believe I didn’t quite hear from you all.” I knew I should have refined, not defined but I had to make a closing statement. I gave my interpretation and each member looked at one another, and gave some verbal gesture, and said a couple of words, in each’s language, and although I could somewhat interpret, I did not wish interpret any further. As the group were led out into another room, my colleagues, who looked at me calmy with my, defining moment, I thought to myself, I hoped, just to myself. "Is the program going to end me and was this really my, ‘closing’ statement;, of all time.?"

Now I wait for the return. It has only been several minutes but it seems like several days for I lost all track of time, but not all track of interpretation. I imagined myself in various scenarios and did all I could not to interpret to myself, or to anyone else, what words spoken might mean. For now, I refine, not define.