The Making of the Pies

Savanna stood in her kitchen in front of the kitchen counter. Focusing her eyes on the index card in front of her. She held it closer to her eyes and realized she needed her reading glasses. Grandma’s famous sweet potato pie was scrolled neatly on top of the card. It was Savanna’s year to make the pies for the Sunday family dinner. She had never made pie before. Her speciality was cookies. She could make some of the most yummy cookies on the planet. But, not today. Today she had to learn how to make a pie in a day and a half. She read the recipe to her cat, Bingie and Bingie just looked at her and politely did his cat walk to the other room. 

“So much for Bingie’s help.” Savanna laughed.

She reached in the cupboards for all the ingredients and walked to the fridge to get the eggs, milk and butter. It was time for her to make the best pie she could make. She only hoped she would not mess it up. 

Rita blasted the song, “Let’s Go Crazy” by Prince on the radio and sang along in her best imitation of Prince. This was one of her favorite songs. Rita got the pie dough from the fridge and floured the counter and prepared to roll out her buttery dough. Yes, Rita knew that it was not her turn to make the pies but in her world she was the best pie maker in the family and since she was the best she should have been chosen to make them this time not her bird brain cousin, Savanna. Savanna couldn’t even make a decent cookie. Those hard rocks she said were cookies nearly took out a tooth. Rita knew that her pie wouldn’t be any better and she didn’t want people choking on the crust.  The oven was hot and ready and Rita was almost ready too.

“Hello, my tasty pie. Ready to bake you than eat you.” Rita laughed.

Jovina cut a slice of the pie she made an hour ago in her tiny kitchen. She was determined to make the best pie this year even though she wasn’t asked to. She knew that she had the best sweet potato pie that anyone in the family had ever made. She just didn’t know why her granny asked her sister Savanna to make it this time. Savanna can make a decent cookie but a pie maker she wasn’t. Neither was Rita, her older cousin. Rita thought she was the best cook in the world and always bragged about how she went to baking school but in reality it was a home economics class in the 8th grade. 

“This is so good.” Jovina told her sleeping six month old baby. 

“They are going to love Mommies pie.” She  continued. 

Granny Molly was reading her magazine when the doorbell rang. Granny’s long grey braid swung around to her shoulder as she got up to open the door. She smiled and hugged Savanna in a big bear hug. 

“Hey, Savanna. Did you bring the pies?” Granny said walking to the kitchen.

“Yep. I made three. I hope that is okay.” Savanna answered as she placed her pies on the kitchen table.

“They look and smell good, Savanna.” 

“I hope that they taste as good as they look. You know this is my first time making them Granny. I always made cookies.” Savanna said admiring her pies.

“I’m sure they will be fine, Honey.” 

Savanna answered Granny’s ringing doorbell and there she was. On the other side of the door was Rita and in her hands she was holding two pies.

“Rita, what the heck? Why did you make pies too? You knew that it was my turn to make the pies!” Savanna yelled.

“Yes, I knew it was your turn that is why I made mine. The good pies. I didn’t want people to choke on yours. From the looks of that crust it looks tough. Did you refrigerate the dough first?” Rita said, pushing Savanna’s pies to one side and replacing them with hers.

“Granny do you believe this?” Savanna asked Granny.

“Calm down girls. We can never have enough pies. “ Granny responded smiling.

“Granny, that is not the point. You told me to make the pies and Rita had no business making them. She always does that. Every time I try to do something she does it too. I might not have had a cooking class but I can make a simple pie.” 

“Girl, there’s nothing simple about baking that pie. That’s how I know that you can’t cook a pie as good as mine. I can cook and bake you under the table any day of the week. So, why should people suffer though eating that tough crusty pie you made when they can have the best.” Rita said, still inching Savanna’s pies to the other side of the table.

“Hey, can someone get the door?” Granny said.

They had been so busy arguing about pies that neither of them heard the doorbell. Rita walked to the door and opened Granny’s big red door. 

“I don’t believe this!” She said when she saw Jovina holding three pies.

“What don’t you believe?” Jovina asked, pushing past Rita.

“Why did you make pies too?” Rita asked, bumping into Jovina’s arm. 

“What do you mean too?” Jovina asked 

“Who else is here with pies?” She continued.

“Savanna of course. She came with her old tough crusty pies that probably taste like leather cause you know the girl can’t bake.” 

“Jovina, she can make cookies. But, I make the best pies.” Savanna said.

“I have to disagree. She can’t make cookies either. Those rocks nearly took out all my upper teeth when she made Christmas cookies last year.  I make the best pies that you ever tasted.” Rita said.

“We will see about that.” They both said as they  continued as they walked into the kitchen with Granny.

“Girls, I won’t have any of this fighting about food. You are all acting like children. If you all followed my recipe then I am sure all of the pies will taste good. So you all better hush up about who can make the best pies. Now, I am going to take a nap before the rest of the family gets here and I don’t want to hear a peep out of any of you. Do you hear me?” Granny said sternly to the women.

They all nodded in agreement and watched granny climb the stairs to her room.

“You all know that my pies are the best.” Rita said holding up her pie. 

“You are full of pie if you think that you can out pie me.” Jovina said cutting a piece of her pie and putting it on a plate.

“You are both nuts. I followed Granny’s recipe and even added in a special ingredient to make my pies stand out from both of yours.” Savanna piped in.

Savana, Rita and Jovina were still arguing and didn’t notice granny had come downstairs and was standing a few feet from the kitchen. She yelled as loud as she could.

“Shut UP! Enough!” She yelled so loud that her voice cracked.

Granny marched into the kitchen and filled her hands with three pies from each of the women and what happened next was a shock to everyone.

Granny reached her one back and hurled the pie into the face of Rita and then she did the same to Jovina and Savanna. The women’s faces were covered in sweet potato pie. 

“Now, since you all think that you made the best pies I think that you should taste them. And with your faces covered with pie maybe you will all shut up. Because the best pie is MINE! That’s right the best is mine and all of you know it. After all, I gave you the recipe.” Granny said laughing so hard that she almost peed in her pants.

That was the beginning of the most epic food fight the Wonderland Family had ever had. 

“Wow, I still think that mine was the best.” Rita said laughing and licking the pie off of her lips.