A Bittersweet Memory

​22nd March 2022. It was my birthday again. I sat in my room after the birthday party with my friends, still wearing my party dress. I stared at the photo of him and me standing together, smiling for the camera. Exactly one year ago on this day, I celebrated my birthday with the same friends that were present today,except … except for him. Looking at the photo brings back all the memories of that day. Every moment is still fresh in my mind, like it was just yesterday. The smiles on our faces, the happiness of being together, the embarrassment of meeting up after so long, everything. Of that day when I probably had the best birthday of my life. 

​That year, I left my school life and entered college. But due to the pandemic situation, I never really got to meet any of the other students. And being the introvert I was, I never took the initiative to talk to anyone. As a result, I stayed in touch only with my old classmates, and longed to meet them. Later that year the college opened and I didn’t recognise anyone. I used to sit in class, alone in a corner, trying my best not to bringany attention to myself. And right after class, I would get away from college as soon as possible, while the others stayed back for chit chats or games.

​But then one day he came and sat beside me, which took me by surprise. I’m not really good at communicating with new people, so I was a bit uncomfortable, but I let him sit anyways. There were many students inmy class whose name I didn’t even know, but I knew him. It was almost impossible not to notice him. He was Harsh, the centre of attention in our class most of the time. He was a troublemaker, but was still liked by most of the teachers. I would see him talking to everybody, from juniors to seniors. He was a charming guy. And now he was beside me, beaming with confidence, with a broad smile on his face. Completely the opposite of my condition. He introduced himself.

​“Hi, I’m Harsh. I’m new here and I like making friends.”

​I was a bit surprised to learn that he was a new student. He seemed so comfortable that it was hard to believe it was all new to him. 

​“Nice to meet you, I’m Etika”, I replied. 

​“I have always wanted to talk to you but I never got the chance. You always seem to be by yourself”. 

​I awkwardly responded, “Yeah I don’t really like the company of other people”. He looked at me in a funny way and I instantly regretted saying that. 

​“I see…” He paused for a moment before enthusiastically asking, “Would you like to be my friend then?” I had no reason to deny him, so I answered, “Sure, why not!” Though I doubted if that would actually happen. He was a carefree person. I was sure he would quickly get bored being with me. Turns out, that wasn’t the case. The next moment, professor entered the classroom, halting our conversation (for which I was secretly thankful). After the class, during break, his friends called him to join them. He looked back at me, said, “See you later”, and rushed off. I waved a goodbye at him when he looked back one last time before joining them. 

​I went along with the rest of the day as usual, on my own. I was hurrying back to my house after classwhen suddenly he called out to me. I looked back and saw him catching his breath a short distance away .

​“Where are you going?”

​Before I could answer, he started speaking again.

​“We have lots of time before the college closes. Come on, let’s play volleyball,” he said with excitement.

​“It’s fine. I have to go-”

​He cut me off and said, “Come on, just for a quick one!”. His eyes were so pleading that I couldn’t refuse. 

​“Ok, but only for a little while”. 

​He immediately brightened up and took my hand to lead me to the court. I was pretty good at playing volleyball in my school days, so it wasn’t a problem. Surprisingly, I had fun playing after so long. Many people praised how good I was, especially him, which embarrassed me a little. He kept saying, “I didn’t know you were so good. You should play more often”, which embarrassed me even more. I was not good with compliments. 

​Later, when I reached home, I thought about how wonderful the day was. It felt good. The next day, I looked around the campus, hoping to find him. I was surprised at myself. But he wasn’t there. I went to my class and waited for him, but he didn’t show up. The professor entered and started taking the attendance. That’s when he rushed into the class, out of breath, asking permission to enter. The professor inquired, “Why are you so late?” To which he replied,“Oh! I was helping an old lady on my way here”. The class started laughing and the professor scolded him before letting him into the class. He sat beside me and mumbled, “But I was saying the truth”. I did not respond. I was more concerned with how he so casually came and sat beside me without even asking!! I looked over to see him gloomily staring down at the bench. I was surprised to see him like this. “Are you alright?”, I asked,concerned.

​“Huh? … Oh yes, I’m alright! Don’t worry.”

​I decided not to ask any further. It had been a week now and I was used to him coming out of nowhere and startling me while I was in my own world. It was now our daily routine to stay on campus, playing volleyball or talking to each other or just doing absolutely nothing. On one of thosedays, he told me that he lived alone with his mother, and that his father passed away two years ago. His mother was barely at home, as she worked in another city. I was taken aback by his confession. He always seemed so happy and cheerful, but in reality, he was just … lonely. He said that I was the only one in college who he had toldabout this, which made me feel a little special. We did not spend much time together during classes though, as he used to rush off here and there,talking to different people and encouraging me to do the same. But I just used to be by myself when he wasn’t around, sometimes even waiting for him to show up.

​I started liking college, and waking up in the morning became more exciting than usual. And then it was the day, my birthday! I invited him,along with my old school friends, to a hotel for lunch. It was a bit awkward at first, but we eventually adjusted. I was meeting my old friends after so long, so I was happier than usual. We all spent an amazing time together and I enjoyed every bit of it (except the part where they smudged the cake all over my face). Harsh mingled with everyone with ease, as expected of him. It was like he was one of us, and my friends naturally liked him. Later, Harsh planned to go to the rooftop of the hotel, where there was a swimming pool. Though we were not permitted to do so, we decided to have some fun and sneaked in. Oh boy! What a lovely view it was, and luckily there was no one around.

​We clicked many pictures together,and that’s when Harsh and I had ours clicked, together. The party was over, each of us headed to our own house. Afew weeks after that, lockdown was announced again. Usually I’d be happy about it, but this time, I missed my college. I missed my him and all the fun we’d had. That’s when I received apackage from a courier. It was from Harsh. It contained our photo together, with a note on the back. I smiled involuntarily.

​Months passed. Finally the lockdown was lifted and colleges opened again. I went in, excited to meet him again,but he wasn’t there. I expected him tobe the first person to show up when college opened after so long.

​I waited. Maybe he’d barge into the class again, making silly excuses forhis late arrival. But it did not happen. The teacher entered the class and said, “Dear students, we are sorry to announce that our beloved friend Harsh is no more. We lost him in a car accident two days ago.”

​The entries class gasped in surprise and soft voices filled the room. Some students even wept quietly. I, on the other hand, was almost unbothered. I couldn’t take in the sudden news. It was shocking.Unbelievable. So unbelievable that I couldn’t accept it. How … how could it even happen? He was a wonderful person. Why him? I’m sure he was waiting for this day. But he isn’t here.

​I absentmindedly attended the rest of my classes and walked back home. I washed up and locked myself in my room. I cried the entire night. I still remember how miserable I felt.Thinking about him still makes my heart ache. All the memories of ours flashed in the screen of my brain. His smile, his eyes, his laughter, his lonely face, everything was crystal clear. To know that I’d never be able to see any of that again, it hurt. It hurt more than I thought it would. Next day, I woke up to go to college,but unlike the day before, I wasn’t looking forward to it. And why would I? The reason I liked attending the college … was no longer there. Days passed, and it was my birthday again. I celebrated my birthday with the same friends that were present that day except … except for him. I held ourphoto in my hands with tears in my eyes and read the words on the back of it. “Let’s meet again!”