Facade

I onced live in a countryside two years ago.I remembered how excited I was to live in a big city where you can meet new people like it is a natural occurrence.I was happily greeting everyone around me while they just pass by without care...What?Maybe they didn't notice me?Thats what I thought.Manila ah~this is heaven!Big Malls,luxurious hotels,expensive restaurants.The first thing I did was indulge myself of the things a countryside girl like me has never never once experienced before.I bought many new clothes and ate many wonderful desserts in a cute caffe;I noticed I spent all of my savings but I don't have any regret as I was happy of what I was doing.That day something cast a shadow on me as I saw the sales lady prioritize the rich auntie and did not give a proper treatment to there other by giving them a cold shoulder as she said"Sir can't you see I'm giving my service to this lady right here?"

The poor old man left the store with an embarassed expression.It bothered me but It was there was nothing I could do that tim as I was left speechless by the saleswomens rudeness.Everyday I woke up early in the morning then took a bath then jog at the park near our house and as usual there are already few people who came earlier than me.I ate my breakfast fast as today is the first day of school and it's already running late.My mom drove me at school and dropped me at the gate she left after saying"Honey enjoy school and make truefriends;Goodluck!"

As I slowly walk to got nearer my classroom I got more nervous than ever and then I said to myself"It's not like there gonna swallow me whole right?what's there to be afraid about?"I gathered my courage and opened the door the laughters that I heard in the hallway was nowhere to be found as my classmates stared at me and I nervously smiled at them and introduced myself...the guys gave me an uncomfortable look in there eyes while the girls seems to holding a grudge on me?don't ask me why cause I don't even have a clue myself!As I sat at a seat with my name on a beautiful girl approached me..Hey my name is Ellie and your name is Sandra right?where do you came from?Oh~is that a gucci bag...thats from last season right?

I answered her questions then we became friends..?Maybe closer is the right word to say.A month have passed and we have an art class today and our teacher told us last week specifically to paint and focus on originality so were supposed to pass it today.As I was hurrying to the art room I stopped as I heard Ellie's voice.

Come on Jane that's not something new!

Yeah~we know Ellie that your gonna get the highest score in this project It has always been like that since forever.

Let's hurry it's about time our teacher comes.

Hmm...so Ellie is also good at painting?I'm excited to see what she painted that was my thought until our teacher Announced our grades.I got the highesr mark my classmates was surprised as Ellie glared and walk out the classroom looking frustrated.After that day I started hearing romurs of how I dated 3 guys at onced.The next day I heared was of how I earned money from giving favor to old men.I ignored them and continued going to school like any other day.One day I confronted Ellie and asked her why she was distancing herself from me.

Ha?My gosh Sandra I never knew you were this stupid!There is so much romurs floating around about your"Good deeds" it is simply something I can't ignore....who knows I might get influenced right?It's better this way[smirk~]

Day after day going to school and facing these false romurs circulate in the whole school makes me lose my self-esteem associate of people then it came to the point where even thinking of stepping outside became frightening.I didn't wan't my mom to be worried so I forced myself to go to school until the romurs about me got to the principals ears and called my mother to school and got me expelled.I locked myself in my room as I was embaressed to face my mom and was afraid to see a disappointment expression on her face.After all that happend my small room became my world.I hated to see the brightness of the sun entered my room so I covered it with a thick curtain.Before I fall a sleep af night I would spend my time reminiscing about the life I had in the countryside on a small town where everyone knows each other and care about each others being like a family.I onced love this bustling city where every minute is an opportunity to meet new people and go to many places it's like our destinations seems to be immeasurable.The air here is seems heavier nothing like the fresh breeze that I was used to but It never bothered me.I laught at myself of how foolished and naive I was.I knew Ellie was the one who spread those disgusting romurs about me but I hope each day when I went to school that she would tell me the reason why...Hahaha I pity myself for lying to myself that everything would get better cause now I know It's fine to not be fine.People would believe what they hear concrete evidence is not needed as justice and what lies in this big city are the lies of thousands of people put together.I spent the rest of my days staring at my paint brush and all those colors that onced sorrounds my world.I gathered my courage and picked up brush...Ah~I missed this all this time...I missed the smell of paint and the feeling of my brush as it blends and fills up the space....the space in my heart.My mother is always busy and she usually comes home late at night but I know she cares about me.One day as my mom left my breakfast at my door I said behind the door"Mom I'm sorry for being a burden and I love you." My mom said "Yo were never onced a burden I hope someday you will see the beauty of the world once more and laugh happily" then she left to go to work hurriedly.I know my mom was crying....her voice were trembling...mom I'm sorry for not being a better daughter.Today as usual I would paint....what is this paint?No...Ah....

Again how many days...month?this blood...let me spent my days to convey my feelings to my love ones through my painting until my last breath.

[One month later]

Wuhuhu....my daughter it's my fault I didn't spent more time in the house and never notice you were suffering from this....you already suffered so much..I..I..I'm not a good mother.3 months have passed now since you departed honey;I gathered my strength to open your room as I knew I would miss you so much....This painting...wuhuhu~honey thank you for leaving this beautiful painting.The painting you spent so much effort....I can feel your emotions you are trying to convey.You were not in despair and you were not lonely.You were happy to live in peace away from the cruelness the world brings.Sorry for crying so much..your happy in there right?I will also be happy.I love you my baby.......