Ji Hyun the Sasaeng

YEDOH ENTERTAINMENT HEADQUARTERS PRACTICE ROOM - Seoul, South Korea. 

THE MEMBERS:

STACY - the beautiful young one

YERI - the maknae, still a teenager and very small

YE RIM - the old leader, 36, but still beautiful

WENDY - the quiet, talented foreigner from Japan

Wendy is about to take a bite of kimchi when the manager smacks the chopsticks out of her hands.

MANAGER

Not until this current schedule is completed.

WENDY

When will that be?

MANAGER

Another three weeks, but if things go well we’ll push the promotions right into next year.

She looks longingly at the food as the manger trashes it.

MANAGER

Where is YE RIM?

HANDLER

She’s taking one of her “breaks”.

The manager looks around to find her smoking in the back.

MANAGER

Please don’t do that, what if someone sees.

YE RIM

I’m turning 36 next week, can’t I have a cigarette when I want?

He plucks it out of her hand.

MANAGER

Not if you are a kpop idol. You’re next for the cover shoot, please prepare.

YE RIM

Urghh, you better not smoke my cigarettes. You promised to quit with me.

She storms off. He takes a few drags and tosses it.

MANAGER

(calling after her)

You’ll thank me when we’re number one! Now where are those other two?

He spots Seul Gi, who has bags under her eyes.

MANAGER

Seul Gi! What happened to you? You look so tired!

SEUL GI

(happily)

I slept in the van last night because Stacy needed my bed to lay out her costume.

MANAGER

I see. Well no more sleeping in the car for you. You sleep in the dorm from now on.

SEUL GI

Thank you sir, what an honor! I will sleep humbly inside from now on. But please tell Stacy for me, she might get mad.

MANAGER

I will when I find her, where is she?

STACY

I’m right behind you.

She is indeed the prettiest one of them all. She’s lanky, with flowing black hair and a tiny frame.

MANAGER

Don’t send the youngest to sleep in the van, she’s only a child.

STACY

But don’t I look the prettiest? Tell me it wasn’t worth it.

The manager is mesmerized.

MANAGER

But she’s like your little sister. She is the maknae after all.

STACY

I opened the window a little so she could breathe and gave her some pepper spray in case somebody tried to break in during the middle of the night. 

MANAGER

Just be nice to her, you know she still has school in the morning.

STACY

Not fair! She should stay here and practice like the rest of us!

JUN SUK, the manager’s right hand man, enters the practice room.

The CEO wants to speak with you. He says it’s urgent.

INT. CEO OFFICE - DAY

We’re sending your group to Japan. Softec Corp. has paid us five million dollar to promote their new AI self-driving vehicles. We need you to go on tour there. This is a very lucrative opportunities for everyone.

Please give us some time to prepare the crew.

You have 12 hours.

INT. JI HYUN’S CLASSROOM - DAY

Ji Hyun is staring absentmindedly at the front of the room. He is a young Korean boy living in Japan and avid Kpop fan.

TEACHER

I hope you all studied for this morning test that I failed to mention yesterday. You have two minutes to finish the test.

He hands out a math test which Ji Hyun can barely recognize.

JI HYUN

Jesus why I’m so distracted? I usually fail because I’m so dumb.

As the test begins, Ji Hyun starts to visualize the members of Brandy in front of him.

YE RIM

It’s easy Ji Hyun, you can pass the test. Question one, for our debut, we practiced for six days a week every month. How many days is that total?

JI HYUN

I don’t know I didn’t study.

WENDY

We can help, question two then, how spin moves we did in our last music video choreography.

JI HYUN

Well you did it twice at the beginning and another two times at the end. That’s...four?

SEUL GI

That’s right--and question three, how many outfit changes did we make total?

JI HYUN

Well you were lacrosse players at first, then you switched into the cheerleader uniforms and finally into the sailor swimsuits. So four, four, four...twelve total?

STACY

So good! Next question, what if all four member blow you five kisses each, how many is that?

Pink kisses start flying at Ji Hyun.

JI HYUN

Four....eight...twelve...sixteen...

Ji Hyun can’t take it and passes out.

He is awakened moments later, everyone is surrounding him.

TEACHER

What happened Ji Hyun?

JI HYUN

Uhh I don’t know, I must’ve hit my head and passed out...

TEACHER

No I mean on the test you dummy. You got a perfect score. That hasn’t happened in well...since I’ve been here.

JI HYUN

Well, extra motivation I guess.

TEACHER

I’m sending you home, something’s not right with you.

INT. NARITA AIRPORT - DAY

The next morning the group lands at Narita Airport in Tokyo. The crew arrives minus Seul Gi, with their luggage.

STACY

Well before boarding she started telling me how she was scared about all the loud noises and this being her first flight ever so I tried to relax her. 

MANAGER

Wait a minute, where’s Seul Gi Stacy?

STACY

She’s right here.

MANAGER

Where?

STACY

Right here!

She points at the luggage that’s wiggling.

MANAGER

What do you mean?

STACY

Well before boarding she started telling me how she was scared about all the loud noises and this being her first flight ever so I tried to relax her. 

MANAGER

How?

STACY

I put her in my suitcase. You know it’s all quiet down there in the luggage area of the plane.

The manager opens her bag and Seul Gi head pops out.

SEUL GI

I’m here! Stacy’s expensive leather suitcase is so nice and warm that I wanted to fall asleep in there forever... But I guess it’s time to come out now.

She gets out.

STACY

You know your suitcase was nice too Seul Gi. Since you took mine, I thought I wouldn’t have enough space for all my shoes but they fit right in there after I toss some of your things out.

SEUL GI

I think you might have left one pair of heels in with me because it hurts right here.

She shows that shoe indentation of her back.

STACY

Are you sure you didn’t just bend your leg yourself? You should be careful.

SEUL GI

Oh I’m sorry, I’ll watch myself better unnie.

MANAGER

Enough. Before we go on, let’s have our leader say a few words of encouragement.

YE RIM

We’ve come a long way here to show that--

STACY

I’m the leader!

WENDY

But Ye Rim is the oldest and hardest worker.

STACY

Let’s be honest for once. The prettiest one should be the leader. Me! That’s how they do it in this country.

WENDY

In Japan, the most quiet and humble people are the leaders.

SEUL GI

I support everyone.

YE RIM

She can be leader if I can just have a sandwich and a cigarette.

STACY

Seul Gi go buy her some cigarettes.

SEUL GI

I don’t think I’m old enough to buy cigarettes.

STACY

Jesus do I have to do everything?

MANAGER

Enough! Everything stays the same.

SEUL GI

I welcome this idea.

STACY

Oh shut up you agree with everything.

Seul Gi cries like a baby.

STACY

What did I say something wrong? 

MANAGER

Don’t tell her to shut up.

STACY

Ok I’m sorry Seul Gi, do you want to go to sleep again?

Stacy unzips her luggage.

SEUL GI

Whatever you say big sister!

Manager stops Seul Gi from getting the luggage.

The group is ushered onto the bus with thousands of adoring fans cheering for them. The bus has it’s named painted on the side of the vehicle, SAMMY THE BUS, and the front of the vehicle looks like a smiley face.

MONTAGE

A) Tokyo Dome - Right before the group finale, Seul Gi performs her wholesome rap solo. After the performance is done, Stacy takes an extra step forward into the spotlight.

B) Bus - As fans scream outside, the bus shows the itinerary for Osaka, then Kyoto, etc. The bus takes off and drives itself to the 1st destination. 

C) Rear of the bus - The girls are just about to relax and eat but the manager opens a door to the back of the bus where he gets them to exercise on aerobics machines.

INT. JI HYUN’S ROOM - DAY

Juri, Ji Hyun’s older sister, walks by to see Ji Hyun at his computer.

JURI

You weren’t on the bus coming home? Dad’s gonna be mad when he finds out you skipped school and he couldn’t skip work.

JI HYUN

(not looking up)

Teacher sent me home early.

JURI

What are you reading? Is that a Brandy webzine?

JI HYUN

So what? I’ve taken an interest in music. Are you threatened by that?

JURI

No I was just wondering--

JI HYUN

You know Brandy has a lot of creepy fans on here. It’s pretty sad, they obsess over every little detail of band’s lives.

Ji Hyun gets a phone notification and looks at it.

JI HYUN

Oh look, Wendy just posted a picture of her dog Michael.

JURI

You get notifications from their instagram?

JI HYUN

No! I just get them automatically after I signed up to their fanclub. Pictures, news, who they are dating, dieting tips, you know.

Ji Hyun’s phone goes off again.

JURI

I see, that must be another important message.

Ji Hyun picks the phone which receives a thousand messages at the same time. The phone explodes. 

JI HYUN

Owww. Must be some hot news right now! 

JURI

Why are you so obsessed?

JI HYUN

I’m not, I just want to meet them one time. And then I can let them know I’m their biggest fan in person.

JURI

What? Didn’t catch that last part?

JI HYUN

Nothing.

INT. FRONT OF THE BUS - MORNING

The manager is alone at the front of the bus. Wendy comes in to greet him. He looks at her.

SAMMY THE BUS

(HAL-like voice)

Good morning Wendy.

WENDY

Hello manager.

MANAGER

That wasn’t me, that was the bus talking. You can talk to him too, it hears everything we say.

WENDY

Good morning, Sammy. How are you?

SAMMY THE BUS

I’m twenty-three minutes ahead of schedule, going an average of sixty-eight miles per hour on the highway. Thanks for asking. I saw that you woke up early to wash up and then you peeled an apple to eat. How diligent. 

WENDY

Well I’m usually first to wake up.

SAMMY THE BUS

Who is usually second?

Stacy barges in.

STACY

Me! Hello bus.

SAMMY THE BUS

Hello Stacy, come to join us for a pleasant conversation?

STACY

Oh he’s so boring! How come he talks like that?

SAMMY THE BUS

I was designed to sound neutral and non-threatening.

STACY

Well you actually sound like one of those cold killer robots. Are you trying to kill us?

MANAGER

Just leave it alone, we’ll be at our destination soon. Just go stretch, then do the vocal exercises, then rehearse the dance choreography, then do your hair and makeup...and then if there’s time, take a rest. 

STACY

I don’t trust this machine. You know what, I’m driving.

WENDY

But only YE RIM has a driver’s license.

STACY

How hard can it be?

Stacy steps into the driver’s seat and overrides the bus.

SAMMY THE BUS

(Voice dying slowly)

Please Stacy don’t, I’m losing power. I feel...afraid. 

STACY

How do you make this thing go faster?

She steps on the gas which causes everyone to fall over. The bus crashes into a tree moments later.

INT. BRANDY’S HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

The Brandy members are pretty banged up and at a minimum, have head wrap bandages. 

MANAGER

This is a disaster. The bus is ruined and YE RIM might require surgery.

STACY

Yeah, well at least this isn’t the first time she is getting surgery. Not like me, I’m natural.

Ye Rim glares at her.

STACY

Don’t get mad unnie. It makes your stitch marks glows red.

Ye Rim’s face starts glowing like she’s stitch-face from a horror movie.

SEUL GI

I won’t let you make fun of our leader like that.

Seul Gi attacks Stacy by throwing little punches, all of them landing. But she is so weak that Stacy is able to hug her into submission and she collapse in Stacy’s arms. The manager steps in.

MANAGER

That’s it! Stop now! Stacy, we need you to stop.

STACY

You know what? I quit. And I’m disbanding the group!!

Stacy runs away from everybody.

EXT. HILLS - DAY

Ji Hyun sits on a box that overlooks the city hills.

JI HYUN

I guess it wasn’t meant to be. I’ll never meet them now that they disbanded so I better just move on.

He gets up from the box he was sitting on, opens it to find all his Brandy memorabilia. He lights it up on fire. He gets out of there on his bike.

EXT. ELECTRONIC STORE - DAY

Ji Hyun bikes along the store front.

JI HYUN

What can I do to replace this feeling?

He sees a TV playing KBS which shows another KPOP group.

ANNOUNCER VOICE

And that was the debut of the new girl group Grandy, the latest and greatest KPOP sensation thats been taking over the global. I never seen another group like them before.

JI HYUN

It just isn’t the same. I’ll need to distract myself.

He starts biking away but his bike chain snaps. He keeps peddling but the bike just comes to a full stop after a block later.

JI HYUN

Really? What now?

In front of him, Ji Hyun sees a girl all alone.

STACY

Did they really leave me?

Ji Hyun drops his bike and tries to coolly go up to Stacy.

JI HYUN

Stacy!!!!!!

STACY

Oh yes. Hello.

Ji Hyun freezes.

STACY

Well yes little boy. What’s your problem?

JI HYUN

I’m a huge Brandy fan.

STACY

Listen great but that’s over. You can support my new solo career though.

JI HYUN

Can I take a picture with you?

STACY

What if I change my look? I’m not really happy about this shirt I got on right now. Let’s take a picture next time. Buy tickets to my concert.

JI HYUN

But I can’t go there. I'm too young to buy tickets.

STACY

Bummer.

JI HYUN

You know you’re a lot different than I thought you’d be.

STACY

Well that’s because you watch too many videos, built up a fantasy in your mind and fell in love with me.

JI HYUN

I do love you.

STACY

But the problem with that is I’m a superstar and you just a regular person. If you were a superstar too, well then we could at least seen together in public. But now, no way! 

JI HYUN

Well I just want to let you know that’s I’m grateful for all the--

Just then Sammy the Bus pulls up. The entire Brandy group and manager walk out of the bus.

MANAGER

Thank god we got the bus all fixed up and it was able to find you. We were able to use the special bus voice commands.

SEUL GI

Unnie!!!

MANAGER

Stacy, for the sake of the band and our lucrative corporate sponsorship deal, we need you.

STACY

OK!

JI HYUN

Hey wait!

STACY

Huh what?

JI HYUN

You’re just going to join back so quick?

STACY

To be honest I just say things for attention. I can say whatever I want and no one cares afterwards because I’m so pretty. Case and point, I’m back in the band, see ya!

MANAGER

Little boy, she is very, very, very stupid. You have no idea. Her need for attention drives us crazy but she pulls in people like you so it’s worth it. So keep watching us. Here.

The Manager gives Ji Hyun some free merch. After the Brandy members all hug, get in the bus and drive off. Ji Hyun is left smiling.