Submitted to: Contest #53

A Trip to the Store

Written in response to: "Write a story about another day in a heatwave. "

General

I’ve had about enough of this heat. It had been over a week of constant heatwaves. After a particularly brutal winter, you would have thought that the heat was a good change. It was till it wasn’t.

My Mom had woken me up just fifteen minutes earlier just to run to the store. She said she couldn’t go because she had some work to do one her computer. It was quite upsetting she didn’t mention the date but brushed it off she must have just forgotten. 

I pulled my dark blue hair into a ponytail and checked it in the mirror and deemed it okay. I took the list my Mom had left at the end of my bed.

Eggs, bread, milk, ice cream, and a fan. 

The list was pretty normal other than the fan. I guess the one we had been using to get us through this hell was broken. That’s just our luck a broken AC and a broken fan. This was going to be a rough day already I could just sense it.

The stairs creaked as I rushed downstairs. My Mom stood on the phone and pointed towards the kitchen where fifty dollars laid on the table. I picked it up only to get the sting that could only come from a papercut. I waved my hand around in pain and stuck the finger in my mouth to stop the slew of curses that wanted to leave my mouth.

I smiled at my Mom who waved at me. I walked outside to the wall of heat and humidity. It took all of my strength to not turn around and walk right back inside and never leave my home again but I pushed ahead. I was going to get the things my Mom wanted even if it was the death of me.

Living in a small town had its perks like the fact I could walk to the grocery store. After failing my driving test earlier this year I had no way to get around. I was already too far when I realized that maybe flip flops weren’t the correct shoes for this adventure. 

I put in my headphones to play some tunes while I walk. I was sad to see that I had notifications. I wasn’t necessarily popular but I at least thought that Adrian would have sent me a text. We had been best friends for a little over a year but I couldn’t imagine my life without him. It hurt that he didn’t remember. 

I saw some kids on the side of the road selling lemonade. They had huge smiles and at that moment I wished I could go back to a time like that. I was too absorbed in the children playing that I didn’t notice that Mr.Peter had started his sprinklers. 

I screamed as the cold water shot at me. I could have been refreshing if I was expecting it. I also completely understood why Mr.Peter started the sprinklers and he also waved at me and sent me a sorry smile when he saw what was happening. 

I waved back and smiled at him. I was now drenched and my flip flops kept slipping and I had to try hard not to slip out of them. I definitely shouldn’t have worn these flip flops. 

As if on cue Maddie Simlerg walked out of her home followed by her new best friends. They looked me up and down and started to cackle. I could feel my face getting red and it wasn’t from the heat. 

“Did you take a dip in the pool with your shorts on? I always knew you were a freak but really this is too far.” I don’t even know what she meant by too far.

“Yeah like did you walk by here on purpose like that so we would see. We knew you were an attention seeker but my gosh.” One of Maddie’s groupies decided her input was needed. I strongly disagreed. 

I rolled my eyes. “I’m going to the store if you must know.”

“With what money? After your dad left you and your whore mom, I thought you were broke?” I didn’t have to take this I stormed down the road. 

I really need to learn how to pay attention. Sammy Jo and his friends were playing soccer and you wouldn’t guess what happened next. That’s right I tripped on the freaking ball. 

I slammed into the ground. My knee’s skin torn and my flip flop broke. Sammy Jo helped me up and asked if I was okay. I nodded but I couldn’t help but notice the laughter that was coming from behind me. 

I just had to make it to the store. Then I can go home to peace and quiet. Thankfully I was close to the store. 

It was so cold inside the store I partially melted. The cashiers gave me a weird look but I ignored it. The normal groceries were easy to find. I got a small carton of milk due to not wanting to carry a full gallon back home. Hopefully, Mom wouldn’t mind. 

Then I got stuck. I couldn’t find a fan and even looked up nearby stores for fans. They were all sold out or out of our price range. I sincerely tried but decided that I needed to cut my losses. I checked out with all of the other items. 

I knew my Mom would be disappointed about the fan but I couldn’t do anything about it. The trip home would have been a lot more enjoyable if my flip flop didn’t keep rebreaking. I even got to thank Sammy Jo more properly for helping me up and assured him I was fine.

I was back to my home after half an hour in a horrid condition and a bad mood. I was soaked, sweaty, bleeding, and my hair was a complete mess. At least I could go inside to the cool airconditioned home.

I opened the door and surprises erupted as people lept out from hiding places. I smiled when I realized what was happening. They hadn’t forgotten they were distracting me. 

My Mom pulled me into a hug. “Oh my god baby what happened you look horrible.” 

“Thanks, Mom. I can’t believe I thought you guys forgot,” I squeezed her a little tighter, “I should have known better. Now can I go change?” 

I went upstairs with the largest smile of my life on my face. Maybe this day wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. 

Posted Aug 01, 2020
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14 likes 2 comments

Greg Gorman
17:46 Aug 13, 2020

Good story, Mirabella. I've dealt with my share of children in this age range. I was thinking to myself how I would have dealt with this person. She seems like she's in a bad mood. Heat will do that to you. A lot of people are all about heat waves in the winter. Summer comes and, you know what? I think I could use a cooler day here and there.
So, our MC is getting ready to go to the store. It's hot. She's just woken up. I'm sure she's happy as Christmas right now. She ties her hair back. Good enough. I like that. There's a ticked-off kid who has to do something. Hmph. That's fine. At least her neck won't be hot when she's going to the store. She's tired. She has to go out in the heat and do something. Things can't be any worse. Oh... Paper cut. I spoke too soon. How long has she been up? Five minutes.
I was confused when she looked at her phone. Did you mean to say there were "no notifications"? It read like she was bummed to have notifications.
Now our friend has made it out of the house. She's regretting the choice of flip-flops. Tough to walk in those anyways, heat or no heat. Now she's getting splashed by a hose. I thought this would be welcome even if it was unexpected. I guess not, although she does seem to be upset this morning so maybe anything that happens would upset her. Were her feet hot before the hose. If so, did it at least feel a little good on her feet. Would that make the walk bearable for a few seconds? It would be something at least.
I tried to follow the character as she was walking to the store. There was a problem with the flip-flops. I didn't know if she was trying to fix them as she went along or if she was walking with one on or none on. This led to more confusion when she actually got to the store. Mention something about how she tried to fix the shoes as she's walking. It would lessen the confusion.
What about her and her mother? Are they poor or is Maddie (a real winner, by the way) just someone who likes to start things and gossip?
It's nice that you got to run into Sunny Jo again. That allows your character to feel a little better with the morning she had been having. She gets home and feels the cool air conditioner. I thought it broke and that was why her mother needed the fan. What that just a ruse to keep her at the store longer. Would she ask why they needed the fan.
The story ends nice. I smiled when I read about the surprise.

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Nandan Prasad
09:48 Aug 08, 2020

Hey, great story! The concept is extremely nice and well fleshed out. I did notice a couple of things:
- In the fifth paragraph, 'That's just our luck a broken fan and AC' should be 'That's just our luck; a broken fan and AC'.
-Later, 'I didn't have to take this I stormed down the road' should probably be 'I didn't have to take this. I stormed down the road.'
-Sometimes, you repeat the structure of sentences a lot. Maybe try editing it a little.
-In the notifications part, I think you meant to write no notifications. Also, !aybe try specifying that it's her birthday or something. If you don't want to, though, you don't need to.
Please take this constructively. I don't mean to be rude; just trying to help.
But, overall, fantastic story and keep writing!
Also, please do check out my stories if it is not too much trouble. Thanks and good luck!

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