In Her Honor

Jesse was a bundle of nerves. The Annual Lawyers Committee awards were a big deal. And tonight for the first time in her 20-year career as an attorney she would be winning the Ruth Bader Ginsberg award for the outstanding female attorney. It was an honor to be receiving an award named after her idol. But she had mixed feelings about the existence of an award that was gendered. Why couldn’t it just be the Ruth Bader Ginsberg award for an outstanding attorney, period, with no identity qualifiers? She was one of three women equity partners in her firm - all of them were steller lawyers. In fact, she was sure this award would make her a front-runner for name partner. 

But the professional journey here had been a slog, to put it mildly. Unequivocally she loved her job as a labor and civil rights attorney. Her clients were the reason she put up with the white, male, snotty lawyers her firm handpicked from the most elite law schools in the country. Lawyers who despite their pedigree, she found severely lacking in their knowledge and practice of the law. And of course, there were the tasteless and off-color jokes, that they never mean anything by. There were the boys club events she was never invited to - drinks after work, rounds of golf, dinner at the name partner’s home with spouses. When she inquired about her invite it was always - we assumed you were busy or do you even play golf? 

Just a month ago, the biggest offense was when one of the other partners started hitting on her. Thomas Kilbrew, was a married man with three children. Thomas always managed to find Jesse alone in the hallway on the way to the restroom, in the kitchen getting her morning coffee, and at her desk, on the many days, she stayed late. Increasingly his flirtations were becoming more direct including her last encounter when he invited Jesse to join him at the annual conference for Lawyers for Civil Rights in New Orleans. They could “share a room” and “maybe more”, he said while stroking her arm with his grimy paw. 

All of this was why Jesse now stood in the ballroom in her floor-length evening gown on slightly loose legs having chased a weed gummy with a shot of whisky. She was feeling more than relaxed. At the table with her peers, the conversations swept by her as she tried to calm her nervous energy and focused on listening for her name.

“And the award for the Ruth Bader Ginsberg Outstanding Female Attorney goes to….Jesse Thompson. Come on up here Jesse!” The firms managing partner, Peter Bosch was holding up a small glass sculpture and motioning for Jesse to come to the stage. 

Jesse felt herself float to the podium. Her stomach continued to churn with nerves. She accepted the award from Peter. And then began. First, she erupted in a small fit of giggles as the crowd of peers were giving her a standing ovation. When they settled in their seats and the applause quieted, she launched in. 

And her speech started okay.

“Let me begin by saying what an honor it is to be given an award named for a woman I truly admire. My idol really. I stand on the shoulders of many great women attorneys some of which I get to call peers at the firm. Who every day show up as excellent in service of their clients, equity, and justice. These women, they really embody what Justice Ginsberg stood for and how she showed up with a high level of integrity and steadfastness for the practice of law.” 

And then…

“But in the spirit of Justice Ginsberg, let me just say it is complete and utter BULLSHIT! I mean why do we need a female attorney award? Is it because there are so few female attorneys in our firms, to begin with? Or is it because if you put women attorneys in the same category as male attorneys you know they’d basically sweep the awards with these mediocre male attorneys who think they deserve a gold star for just showing up?” She pointed her finger at the men in the audience. As Jesse saw the faces in the room start to slide downward. But she couldn’t stop herself.

“I mean if male attorneys like Thomas Kilbrew over here spent more time focused on his clients and less time trying to get into his female peer attorneys’ pants, maybe, just maybe he’d qualify for an outstanding attorney.” Gasps went up in the room. Thomas Kilbrew’s face turned beet red. His wife looked at him with a ferocious face and stormed off. Out of the side of her eye, Jesse saw Peter edging back toward her. She grabbed the mic from the stand and walked to the other corner of the stage to escape his reach.

“Since this will probably be the last time I have the opportunity to speak at this event. Let me wrap up by saying to the other female attorneys in the room. Ladies! You are the shit! You’re badasses. Every single one of you. Each of you deserves this award. And while I may regret this in the morning. I think I’m going to start my own firm. So if you’re tired of being passed over for partner because you never got the opportunity to cozy up to leadership and get in good favor at the boss's house. If you are frustrated that your performance is not rewarded even though you outperform your male colleagues on a bad day. Well…I welcome you to join me!”

At this point, Jesse was full-on high she stumbled off the stage. With just enough presence of mind left to pick up her gown so she wouldn't trip and fall flat on her face. As she walked through the long ballroom and reached the doors to exit, she heard applause. And looked back to see every single female attorney in the room on their feet and cheering.