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Romance Sad

The scent of spearmint tea filling the small loft and carrying the delicate clinks of China on its aroma brings me back into focus from my thoughts of the driving conditions outside.

“Honey, Lee?” My grandmother asks. Her voice golden and light, like a perfectly baked pastry, and just like the smell of confection fills a house, her words carry across the small loft to me.

“Please,” I reply for the fourth time this week.

When my mother first asked me to stop in on my grandmother between my college classes, I was worried about losing study time before my next class, and now I find myself looking forward to the bitter spearmint tea and cozy loft window even on the days I don't have classes. The first few times I took a sip I would ask her for honey and watch her nose scrunch,

“I already put honey in it, you won't be able to taste anything else.” and I would return to the kitchen to add the honey that she hadn't added, to begin with. That's was when I first understood why my mother had asked me to come to see her. It had shocked me at first to understand that my grandmother wasn’t quite herself anymore, of course, mom hadn't warned me, she just let me fall into understanding like a toddler with new shoes that are a touch too big.

Small things were the most obvious, like calling my mom multiple times for the same reason, retelling stories minutes apart, and forgotten honey. Though you had to ask the right questions, it wasn't long before I grasped the most relevant discrepancy.

I stopped adding the honey after the first few weeks, I used to think it tasted bland and now I order my tea without sugar at the local coffee shop. 

    She hums as she brings the small tray with the teacups and berries over to the window. 

“Did Mell remember to set her houseplants in?” she says as she sits back into her velvet chair. 

“Yes, the greenhouse is jammed full.” in fact, mom put them in months ago, but the slow fall of the snow outside is only the second time this winter that grandma has had to worry about her plants. After my mom came to grandma's loft at the start of fall she secretly whisked away most of her plants, though grandma still had plenty left, some of them were looking a little sickly. 

   Mom isn't one to let a plant go unloved, same as my grandma, and to tell a retired florist that she is forgetting to tend her plants may have started something that neither of them would be ready for. 

“How is Jamey doing with the shop?” I say as I give a nod downwards towards the flower shop below. 

“Oh, you know, he still has a lot to learn, but we are very proud of how far he has come. Willis thinks he will be plenty ready.” And there it is, the drop of the other shoe. 

   My grandma started the florist shop with my grandpa shortly after they were married and Jamey runs the shop now. They hired him when he was just a kid to help run errands and deliver flowers. They tended him like one of their plants, and he grew into exactly what they needed so my grandparents could retire. And they had retired and lived together in their quaint little loft above the shop for almost 20 years, but grandpa isn't here anymore, and grandma thinks he's spending all his time in the shop training Jamey to take his place. 

   I sigh knowing that correcting her could only reopen the wound of not having him here in the loft, to make us all spearmint tea, sweet with honey. 

“Yes. Jamey has been doing a lot with the shop. He put a new display in the front for the specialty orchids order that will be here next month. He said he'd bring a batch of them up for you.” I say and watch her face light up a little bit. Unless we talk about flowers or my grandpa it's hard to get much of a reaction. I feel myself matching her intrigued expression. 

“You know, ” her tone just on the edge of sarcasm, “Jamey is only about 4 years older than you, and as far as I know he's been single for a while now,” she says as her grin grows. I laugh and watch her eyes twinge with a smile.

“You could be a comedian grandma!” I chuckle and catch her watching the door that leads to the hallway. She takes a long sip of her tea and snaps back to the conversation.

“Don't be so passive Lee! That's how I met your Grandpa. He is a little older than me too.” her eyes almost twinkled. 

“How did you and Grandpa meet?” I said as I wrap the old quilt around my legs and cradle my teacup in my hands. The snow coming down heavier sealing the cancellation of my classes the rest of the day. I had heard bits of the story before, but never directly from my grandma. Her eyes seemed to clear, like wiping off a fogged window. She leaned back in her chair and smiled, a hint of laughter against her breathe.

...

“I used to work for the sweetest old lady over on Balor St. She wasn't a florist, but she had the most amazing garden. I would spend hours helping her tend to them. Local florists would visit and buy flowers from her. It was my first job, and it quickly became my passion. Once I graduated I helped her all the time. I would help her around the house and spend my free time in the garden. One day she wanted me to go to a local florist so I could pick up some new fertilizer product. When I got to the shop they told me that the delivery guy had taken it just 10 minutes before I got there. I remember being so out of breath trying to ride my bike back in time to tell him where to place the product. Panting, I ran into the garden to find all the products separated by which plants used that product, and they weren't next to each other. They were all across the garden. Once I finished taking care of everything, I went inside and told her all about the nice delivery person. She told me she had seen and given him something to drink. She added that he was very cute and very polite. I laughed and she told me that he asked a lot of questions about the garden and some of the plants, but she said she didn’t know as much as she should about her own garden, then she handed me a note that he had written. He wanted me to come back to the store later and answer some of the questions. I didn’t think much of it and went to the store just before they closed. The owner let me know that he was finishing deliveries, so I looked around the store and bought a couple of things for myself, including some Cestrum Nocturnum. They aren't any fancy-looking flower, but they bloom at night and have an amazing fragrance. I always thought there was something poetic about that. I ended up being allowed to stay at the store after they closed. Willis didn't even end up coming till almost an hour after that. I was about to leave at that point. Can you imagine if I had?”

   For a moment her eyes return to the distant resolve that they usually held. It amazed me how she could possibly remember the plant that she bought the night she met my grandfather, but not that he wasn't here anymore. 

“So did he show up?” I asked trying to coax the embers in her eyes. 

“Oh, of course. He really was so handsome, and smart too. We talked about plants and he asked me about the plant I bought and I explained the fragrance and meaning. We ended up talking most of the night. At first, I thought he was just happy to have someone to share his enthusiasm for plants with. I didn't think a smart attractive guy like him would be that interested in dating me. After about 2 weeks of our meeting at the shop when he finished with work, the owner hired me. It's crazy how fast time flew, I would spend my days helping my lady and my afternoons and evenings at the shop. One night, I wasn't scheduled to work and I came in to find the biggest bushel of the Cestrum Nocturnum in a pot, sitting alongside a note. The note said, 

Grab a mug and come on up. -Willisit took me a moment to catch on about the storage space above the shop. I grabbed a mug off the counter and went up. When I opened the storage door, dried herbs and flowers were hanging on a string from the ceiling that led in a path. A note at the start of the path said,

 “Pick your tea, come and find me.”. It was like something out of a fairytaleThere was Chamomile, Lemon Verbena, Lavender, Orange Mint, Spearmint, Rose, Basil, and some others I don't remember. I grabbed the Lavender and Spearmint. When I think about all the options I want to go back, but I wasn't particularly worried at that time about the tea. Where the path ended Willis had set up a table with honey, milk, and sugar. He sat grinning on one side of the table with a mortar and pestle. He ground our teas and placed them into the mugs with hot water. While it steeped he told me about how the owner was going to let him rent the storage area as a loft if he moved the storage stuff to the shed out the back. He told me how he planned to fix it up and how he knew it wouldn't be too many more years before the owner retired. I remember how excited he was to tell me his plans to buy the shop. After we discussed for hours the possibilities to not only have a florist shop but a shop for novelty and special gardening as well he leaned in and asked me to help share his dream. I was so overwhelmed and happy that I spilled my tea as I was answering. It spilled right onto Willis’s leg and he fell back through a tower of planters. After knowing he was okay we laughed for what felt like forever. After we cleaned everything up, he took me downstairs and we watched the Cestrum Nocturnum’s bloom. It was such a perfect night. I think it was only six months later that he asked me to marry him. I moved into the loft after we were married.” she gestured to her loft. “It's come so far. We bought the shop not too long after your mother was born. It was hard. We were never sure if we'd be able to afford it. I think it's why we never had another baby. It was our second child. I think Jamey has the right stuff to keep it going. Willis will teach him the tricks.” I blink back into reality as she blinked out. 

“Yes,” I reply, “he will do your dream justice.” I sigh knowing how proud my grandfather would be to see just that. My grandmother and his dream being continued in full motion. I wondered at the life that they've lived together and now the life that they no longer share. The love that has gone into the loft seems to beam at me like a proud child. 

“I’m sure your mother will be expecting you home for dinner soon,” she says as she looks at her clock.

“Yeah, I should probably get going,” I say knowing that even if my mother was expecting me, there is no way I would make the three-hour drive in time for dinner. 

   I help my grandmother clean up. I check that her fridge is stocked enough in case the snow ruins my plans to return in two days. As I kiss my grandmother goodbye I decide to go down through the shop instead of out the back like usual. As I'm walking down the stairs I call my mother.

“Hello! How was Grandma today?” my mom's cheerful voice slides through the speaker.

“She was really good. She was pretty aware for most of the time I was there. We talked about grandpa some.” I remember the light in her eyes and smile.

“Of course! It's a little later than usual right?” my mom says, sounding nonchalant, but I can hear the concerned twinge in her voice like the off-note key on an old piano.

“Yes. It's been snowing all day and my class was canceled so I stayed longer than usual.”

“Oh good! Not that your class was canceled I mean, but that she got some more time with you.” 

“Yes, I'm glad I got some more time with her today too!” I say as I walk through the back shop door. The shop is a little busier than usual and the bustle around me must be noticeable through the phone.

“Well if it's snowing make sure to drive safe! Say hi to Jamey for me! Love you!”

“Love you too!” I stuff the phone into my bag as I cross the back area to the front counter. 

   Jamey is in his usual dirt-stained attire, his dark curls are a mess, but he wouldn't look himself any other way. He turns to me and waves as he finishes with a customer. His slightly off-centered smile creasing his cheeks as I approach. 

“How is Chery today?” he says as he puts away the money.

“Today was pretty good. She told me about how she and my grandpa met.”

 He lets out a sharp chuckle.

“Yeah! I remember Willis telling me about that. He set the bar pretty high for us other guys.” he seemed to settle into the smile on his face.

“Oh yeah! I definitely don't know of any guys that could pull something like that off.” I laugh slightly as he looks offended. 

“Hey now, you know me! Don't count all of us men out. Chivalry isn't something I take lightly ma’am.” he says as he steps into an air of justification. The comfort of our usual banter falling into place. I laugh and catch the flirt in his eyes. 

“You know they are the biggest reason I changed the name of the shop, right?” he says slightly more seriously. 

“Really?” I say intrigued. 

   The shop had only ever been based on my grandparent's last name: Dray’s Floral and Specialty Gardening - Until Jamey had changed it a few years back. My mom wasn't sure about the change until she saw it on the front of the shop and she agreed that it suited the shop much better.

“Yeah. Its meaning can also be seen as the lady of the night.” he grinned and almost seemed embarrassed by sharing the meaning with me. I felt bad because his expression directly after made it clear that my face hadn't shown the surprise he was looking for. He cleared his throat and looked a little more direct as he pointed to a couple of bushes of small pale flowers behind me off of the corner of the counter. I turned and read the label: “ScientificCestrum Nocturnum, Common: the Lady of the Night” 

   My brain clicked the understanding almost immediately after reading it. I turned back to Jamey with a new look at him. He starred back contently.

“Get it?” he asked. I nodded and smiled again.

“I love it,” I said. He beamed a little brighter. 

“My grandma would be so proud,” I said.

“I've told her, ” he said swallowing a lump in his throat. “I told Willis too.”. I snapped my eyes to meet his.

“When did you see him?” 

“Last Saturday I took a half-day to go visit him. Your mom was very helpful, she met me at the center. It was, ” he trailed off, “-it was good.” he finished. 

“How was-” I started

“He was good. Your mom had told me that he had stopped talking, but the flowers I brought him for his room- I could see that he was there- in there- somewhere.”. I could see he was holding back the lump in his throat. I just nodded and gave a sympathetic smile. 

   We had been expecting my grandma to be the one to have to leave the loft and either move in with mom or to an assistive center, but for grandpa to go from completely normal to- well, almost nothing in a matter of months. It was a shock that took us all. 

   After talking with Jamey for a little longer he helped me to my car. I sat in it for a while, letting the cold seep into my clothes, almost as if I could get cold enough I might be able to freeze the pain too. Which of course only made the sadness seem to grow. I shook off the glum and tried to start my car. It turned over and made a scarce churning noise. After several more attempts, I decided to head back into the shop. As I trudged through the snow I could feel the cold pulling at the edges of my emotions; though when my eyes found the cursive letters on the storefront, I felt the new appreciation I had for the words, and the warmth of them pushed away the cold:

The Queen of the Dusk

February 15, 2021 21:41

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