Ms. Sunshine

“So, what’s the catch?” 

I would remember that moment for the rest of my life. Plush, white blankets bunched around her, her full head of wild curls tilted delicately into the pillow. She was a sight to behold, each plane of her face as beautifully placed as if by the delicate strokes of a paintbrush. Her lips were parted, in the beginning of making some clever remark or another. But only moments ago, she had been dead. 

The truth was, Valerie Wright wasn’t even supposed to be my friend. She was poised, each word carefully strung like a bead onto string. I was the scrambled bowl of colored and lettered beads that never seemed to have any Es, As, or Is. Honors Maths, head of the Debate team, never with her computer more than a few feet from her reach, and always open to something more sophisticated than the classwork. She was surrounded by kids chattering about First Contention this, and Value Criterion that. An easy smile, a gentle wave, everything about Valerie radiated calm, cool, and collected.

So me, having the social charm I do, avoided her at all costs. Not that I was any more tolerant of those lesser beings in my class—I made sure to keep an earbud in at least one ear at all times, for when social interactions came knocking. Turns out if you blatantly ignore someone they give up pretty quickly. Who knew. With heavy bass underlying the words of everyone who spoke to me, I could float through the school like a janky-looking shadow. 

Or, I could until Mrs. Sunshine approached me and tried to pull me back to reality. 

“You’re Logan, right?” Under my breath I scoffed. Yeah, only been in your class for years. Valerie peered at me, thick lashes blinking over her eyes. I pulled an earbud out, raising an eyebrow.

“Hm?”

“Er- you’re Logan?”

“Who’s asking’?” She seemed taken aback, straightening her collar with a clearing of her throat. 

“...Me?”

“Hey, Me,” I snickered at myself, pressing the pad of my thumb to the “Play” button. Loud music burst through my eardrums. “Yeah, I’m Logan.”

“Great! I mean– well, not great that you’re– you– It’s nice to finally talk to you, is what I mean.” For a debate kid, she didn’t seem too rehearsed on this little spiel.  

“Mhm,” I hummed, shoving my phone in my pocket. There was a blissful pause. 

“Can I ask you something?” I blew out a slow breath through my nose. I wondered briefly if she could see my eye roll through my closed eyelids. 

“What.”

“Do you, like, would you be interested in coming with me to a free?” I looked, long and hard, at her. 

“…Sure,” I muttered, staring down at my phone. Though my gaze was fixed on the screen, I was far from focusing on it. She nodded, shouldering her bag and cradling her open computer in her arms. 

That free period was the first one spent with someone other than Fergie (My brother— his name was Fred, but I had sibling privileges and could get away with calling him Fergie). I had braced myself for awkward silence, staring off at the wall and watching Ms. Sunshine’s face cloud. Instead she chatted away, reading out bits of her speech (too fast for me to understand a word) and asking me questions about the homework. 

“I’m confused on question 3,” she’d say, leaning across the table to show me her paper.

You have a 98% in this class. There is no possible—

“Help me?” 

And I did, hauling my sluggish brain from the depths of my head and shaking it awake. 

We had that free period together every Wednesday. Every week, I’d hunch over my bag, shoving my folder into its pocket when I’d feel her warmth brush over my shoulders. I’d thought she’d get over me pretty fast, go back to the people who walked at her elbows from class to class. To my dismay—or relief—Valerie never did. Always, we’d walk to a corner of the library, or cafeteria, and pull out sheets of paper, silence giving way to her laughter and my scoffs. When it got warmer, I would go outside with her, cursing the wind and watching Sunshine meet her natural habitat. The girl glowed. The sun hit me like a blow, piercing my eyes and bringing sweat prickling over my neck. It met her like an embrace, catching her eyes and absorbing into her skin. With the sun in my eyes I scribbled my number down on a piece of paper, the pings of her messages a new melody to my ears. 

I was sprawled in my bed, blue light paling my face amidst the darkness, when a ping paused the song I’d been listening to. 

‘Ms. Sunshine’ sent you a message.  

My fingers fumbled with the screen, swiping it into my view.

Ms. Sunshine: r u free to come over tmrw? 

For some reason, my heart jumped into my throat. I blinked at the screen a couple times, waiting for it to vanish, or be deleted, or something. My hands stalled over the keys, and she started typing again. 

Ms. Sunshine: if you can’t thats totally ok

I held my breath, settling into my blankets for comfort as I texted her—

Me: No I can

Me: Would I go on your bus?

She texted back, her bus number followed by a “gtg”. I tenderly set my phone down, afraid whatever I just did would shatter lest I be too forceful. I yanked the sheets around me, burying the mess of emotions in the comforting sands of sleep. 

School passed in a blur, and before I knew it I was glued to my phone, waiting for a text from Valerie. A message popped up just as I crashed into someone.

“Hey– watch it—” I was caught mid-sentence as Valerie tilted her head, righting herself.

“I’m so sorry!” She said, reaching for me. 

“No— uh, I’m sorry.” I ducked my head, hiking my backpack up my shoulders as I followed her. On the bus she took a seat to the left and I turned towards the right, finding someone sitting there, and behind them, and in the next seat. Valerie noticed me looking around frantically and gestured next to her. I shuffled into the seat, settling my heavy bag onto my knees and staring at the road. I always wondered as we start moving how a bus driver copes with having so many lives in their hands. How they deal with any accidents that do happen. What even qualifies a bus driver to drive kids around? Is there some sort of bus-driver-school? 

“My stop’s next, so get ready.” The sun slanted into through the window, catching her eyes as she shouldered her bag. 

“Yeah.” I hefted the heavy thing over my shoulder, twisting to fit in the seat. The bus squealed to a stop as I backed out of the row and nodded for her to get out, following her light footsteps down the aisle off the bus. 

Valerie’s house was just as bright as her, painted a clean white and furnished just the same. Her room, she took me to her room, was painted a pale shade of blue. It might have looked childish for anyone else, but for her it just made sense. The fairy lights that hung from each corner, the plush rug, far too soft under my feet, the wooden desk in the corner. That desk was piled high with papers, textbooks, and chargers. A perfect mess, that was how her brain was. Everything right where you need it. She sat, cross-legged, in the center of her bed. She smiled at me, flipping open her computer.

“Want to watch something?” 

And that was how our movie dates—don’t say dates that’s the wrong word—movie nights—better—came to be. 

Every week or so, Valerie and I would go to each other’s houses, watch a movie, waste time, then laugh all night as we made up the work. We watched everything—comedy, horror, action, romance once—it didn’t matter to us. 

This week was my house. We had blown through a ton of movies over the months, and I was scrambling to find one. I settled on a mystery, I felt like we didn’t watch enough of those. I glanced down at my phone, waiting for the text, or call, that would signal Ms. Sunshine’s arrival. It came in the form of a call, one I opened with a grin. 

“I’m he-ere,” she sang into the phone, just before I heard a gentle knock. 

“Coming,” I laughed into the speaker. Opening the door, I looked down at her with a smile. Some time throughout the months I had gained a couple inches on her, and now I could pat her head of curly hair and call her “Lil Val”. Valerie ran past me and jumped onto the couch, arching to look back at me. 

“So,” she head-tilted towards the TV, “what’re we looking at for tonight?” I chuckled, checking the cabinets and chucking a bag of packaged popcorn at her. 

“Purple Night,” I read from the cover, kneeling at the DVD player. 

“I can’t tell if that’s the cheesiest rom-com I’ve ever heard or like, a superhero flick.” I snorted, popping the disk out of the case.

“Neither, actually.”

“Then what is it?”

“A mystery,” I waggled my fingers at her. 

“No, tell me,” she opened her bag of popcorn. 

“No—” I barked a laugh, “It’s an actual mystery movie.”

“Oh.”

“Some Debate nerd you are.”

“Shut up.” But she was giggling. I backed away, watching the TV come to life and beep at me. I made my way to the couch and curled into my spot, leaning against Valerie’s shoulder. I flicked a few buttons, letting mystery music (whatever that is) float through the room. “A mystery, huh?” she murmured, her head against the crook of my neck. I cleared my throat to answer. 

“Mhm.” It seemed like every mystery movie I’d ever seen; dark, men in trench coats, people smoking, the like. I was nearly dozing off before Val put an arm around me. Then I was wide awake. She exhaled, the warmth hitting my skin. I leaned further into her, keeping my eyes locked on the mysterious mustachioed man on screen. Ms. Sunshine shifted, rising from the couch. 

“Bathroom,” she whispered, touching my shoulder. I looked back to watch her go, a stupid smile taking over my face. I turned back to the movie, jumping as Main Man jumped from the shadows to catch The Shady Best Friend about to murder Helpless Damsel. I fiddled with the buttons of my shirt, then knotted my fingers in my hair. 

“I knew you did it!” Main Man screamed, gun aimed at Shady. He squinted in anger, his index finger pulling tight. The sound echoed through the entire house, the noise of a girl screaming sickeningly loud. The Main Man rushed towards Damsel, but another shot echoed through my house. I bolted up from my seat, my heart in my throat. 

“Val?” I called. I was already moving, bare feet hitting the floor in a run. “Valerie!” I drew breath to scream again, but found the words die in my throat. 

Valerie Wright wasn’t there. Well, her body was. Where her face had been was now a red hole, blown to bits. Blood stained the tile, a splatter against the wall. I collapsed next to her, my hands already stained with gore. A strangled excuse for a sob left my lips, bile rising into my mouth. I leaned over the bloodied toilet, emptying my stomach into it. Hysterical screams were touching the walls, reaching out with fists to break them into pieces. I realized that they were mine. I crawled over to her body, my vision fizzling black at the edges. I couldn’t breathe. The only thing I could think was No. No, this can’t be real. No, this has to be a nightmare. But blood was cooling on my hands, and tears were warming my face, and I pressed my head to the floor. 

Please. I’ll do anything. Make this not real. Please. 

I blinked and suddenly it wasn’t. Val was on a bed of white blankets, surrounded by pillows, propping up the mess that had been her face. Her beautiful face. Ms. Sunshine had been my light, and someone had put her out. I screamed into the void surrounding me. Through the haze of my tears, a light began radiating from Valerie’s chest. 

I can fix her. 

“What?” My voice was barely an excuse for a whisper. 

The light began to travel over her body, coating her neck and face, plastering a golden mask over it. 

Do you want me to?

“Yes,”  I wanted to scream until my lungs gave out, but my words came out a measured calm. The mask blended into flesh, hair bouncing over newly made cheeks, thick eyelashes, smooth forehead. Ms. Sunshine absorbed this golden light too, becoming herself again. Blood still stained the white sheets, but she was whole. Unharmed. I sobbed in relief, rushing to her and brushing my hands over her skin. 

Now she is fixed. 

I brushed her curls back, tears dripping over her face. I looked around, my neck jerking, looking for the reason, the one who had brought my sunshine back. I could find none. I wrapped my arms around Valerie, feeling her take a smooth breath. Before she woke I faced the white nothingness and whispered; 

“So, what’s the catch?”