The Good And The Better

“Quick, hide! Now!”

Mars looked behind and saw a girl hiding behind a dumpster. He scratched his head and looked at her, very confused.

-Excuse me, are you talking to me? He asked politely. He closely examined her face, internally rummaging through his list of acquaintances, desperately trying to guess who she was.

-Don’t joke around Hawk, we have no time for that kind of crap! We have to go! She whispered impatiently and grabbed him by the hand.

They ran towards the very end of the alleyway, where a wooden door was sloppily hidden behind a parked car. She opened it and violently pushed him inside.

-What is happening-

She interrupted him by grabbing him by the hair and kissing him aggressively. He widened his eyes for a second and then pushed her away immediately.

-What the hell are you doing? Who are you? What is going on? He mustered the courage to ask.

She started laughing and gave him a piercing glare.

-Cut the crap and be a man, she whispered threateningly. First you walk around like a free man when you know full well they could arrest you every minute and then you reject your girlfriend. I haven’t seen you for so long and you treat me like this?

He looked at her from head to toe, completely floored. What was she talking about? Who was she? Everybody knows that his memory betrays him every once in a while but if he was in a relationship wouldn’t he remember his partner?

She was wearing a black lipstick and a very revealing black shirt. Her skinny jeans made her curves more prominent. He admitted to himself that she was indeed attractive, but he didn’t want to pretend to know who she was just to fool around with her. It would be unfair to her.

-Look, you have probably mistaken me for somebody else, he said as calmly as possible. I’m sure you’re a lovely girl but I am not your boyfriend and no one is out to get me. Also my name is not Hawk, I am Mars.

She looked at him suspiciously. She came closer and inspected him with scrutiny, angrier than before but as perplexed as him.

-I didn’t know Hawk had a brother, she muttered like she was talking to herself. They look almost identical but he behaves like a whole different person. How is this possible?

They both sat in silence for some seconds. Mars looked completely lost in his thoughts. He remembered a conversation his parents had years ago that he overheard.

His mother’s words rang in his ears and made him shiver.

“I agreed to adopt this child and raise him like my own. I forgave your cheating and moved on for the sake of our marriage. And you’re telling me you want to live with his crackhead of a mother and the bastard child she carries inside of her? How much more do I have to suffer because of your mistakes?”

He could hear the glass vase his mother threw shattering on the floor like it was happening all over again. The broken pieces crackling hopeless on the floor, like they knew full well they would never be whole again.

The girl snapped her fingers in front of his face.

-Wake up idiot, she laughed mockingly and lit up a cigarette. What the hell are you thinking about?

He shook his head, trying to get rid of the vivid memory.

-Never mind, he said while sighing. Tell me more about Hawk please.

-Isn’t he your brother? She asked and looked at him suspiciously. You’re supposed to know more about him.

-He… He is… Well yes, but… He stuttered, trying to come up with an excuse. He took a deep breath and spoke again.

He is my brother, but I haven’t seen him for years. It’s a long story, he answered, trying to make his voice sound as steady as he could.

-Well, he’s my boyfriend, she smirked. The cops are looking for him. He’s accused of a bunch of stuff. The list is long.

-Like? He asked hesitantly.

-Drug possession, armed robbery, trespassing private property and more.

-He doesn’t sound like a good guy, said Mars, cringing at the thought that someone as similar as him was a criminal.

She scoffed.

-I know you wouldn’t understand. You look like one of these rich kids that feed off Daddy’s money.

-My father is dead, he answered coldly.

Her cheeks turned bright red in shame and she looked away. It seemed like she felt sorry for what she said for a moment, but then she smirked again.

-Look, I fucked up, so is there a way I could make it up to you? She whispered while approaching him and caressing his chest

-I… I don’t know, he stammered as she lowered her hand until it reached his crotch. W-what are you doing? I don’t even know your name.

-I am Carmen, she laughed. Now that you know my name shall we continue?

She pushed her body on his and kissed him over and over again. Before Mars knew it he was upstairs in her bed, on top of her.

***

Carmen was woken up by someone’s hand caressing her breasts. She smiled.

-Aren’t you crossing the line Mr. Gentleman? She said, trying to play hard to get.

-No, we’ve been together for a year. Why’d you act like it’s the first time I’ve done this?

Her eyes widened in shock as she recognized the deep voice coming from the other side of the bed. She turned around, utterly surprised.

-Hawk? She asked hesitantly.

-Yeah, he laughed. Who else could it be?

-Well…

She stopped dead in her tracks, realizing the mistake she had made. She had slept with her boyfriend’s brother. Regret filled her to the brim. She remembered Hawk’s fits of jealousy, their violent fights and the one time he threatened to kick her out because she slept with his friend for coke. If he knew what happened last night it would not end well for her.

He didn’t seem to notice that she had started speaking. He took off his boxers, threw them on the floor and stood in front of the bathroom door for a moment.

-Man I don’t even remember how I got home last night, I must’ve been super wasted, he laughed. Thank God I found my way home and I didn’t sleep in a dumpster.

-Well you smell like you slept in a dumpster so go ahead and shower, she answered mischievously, trying to tease him.

He went in the bathroom and she closed her eyes again. It was too early to be awake; and too early to think about the consequences of her actions.

***

A knock on the door woke her up. She had overslept once again. She opened the door without getting dressed, expecting to see Hawk come back from his “work”. He would try to break in an old man’s house. He was super rich and they had been planning this particular robbery for a long time.

In front of her stood someone who looked like Hawk; but his eyes didn’t have the same cocky, overconfident look. She stared at him for some seconds and then spoke hesitantly.

-Mars?

He nodded.

-Yes, it’s me. Sorry I came uninvited, I forgot my jacket yesterday, he said in his usual polite tone, not looking at her.

-Of course, come inside, she said and caressed the back of his neck. He blushed.

-Could you please put some clothes on? This is not very appropriate, he said, blushing even more.

Carmen laughed, went to the bathroom and came back wearing a crop top and a thong.

-Better now? She asked with a smile.

He sighed awkwardly.

-Look, the real reason I came here was not my jacket. I want to learn more about my brother. I want to help him get out of this dangerous life he lives. I want him to get clean, stop stealing people’s hard-earned money and come work in our family company like he should.

Carmen burst into a non-stop laughter.

-Oh honey, he will not accept this. He is far too proud and far too deep into this whole shit to change his life. He loves to party, he loves the thrill of being chased, he hates all this uppity shit you rich people do. He would never say yes.

Mars seemed to get angry.

-I cannot stand the thought that my brother is an immoral man who steals from hard-working people and abuses illegal substances! I can’t be related with a criminal!

She chuckled and looked at him with eyes full of pity.

-I pity you, she told him while shaking her head disapprovingly. I pity you because even though society thinks you’re a good man, you will never be as good as your brother. He might not be an executive in some capitalist company or an arrogant lawyer hungry for money but he has a good heart and he has morals. Unlike you and your whole family.

-Don’t you dare speak of my family again, he replied like he was trying to warn her. You don’t know us. We are all good people. And we are not greedy, unlike your boyfriend who steals from people all the time.

-Well you might be good but he is better! She yelled. Hawk? Greedy? All the money he gets is given to families who are starving! He only steals from people who exploit others for profit and don’t give a damn about the ones in need! If this is immoral to you get the fuck away from me and never speak to me again! Go back to Daddy and leech off his filthy money!

Mars seemed to completely lose his temper for the first time. He yelled at her so loud she backed off.

-My father died in front of me when I was 9! He screamed in pain. He hung himself in the fucking living room and I was the one who found him! Don’t you dare speak to me about people suffering ever again cause God knows I’ve suffered enough!

Her jaw dropped and she calmed down in seconds. She could feel a ton of guilt inside of her, travelling across her body through her veins and taking over her.

-I’m sorry, I didn’t know… She stuttered in shock.

Mars stormed out of the house, crying uncontrollably. He wanted to go home as quickly as he could. He could barely see anything through his tears. Terrible memories were running through his head and getting louder every second.

-I can’t take it anymor-

Before he had a chance to end the sentence he saw the lights of a car coming closer and closer to where he was standing. The next thing he felt was a piercing pain penetrating his ribs and then nothing. Darkness.

***

It had been 3 days since anyone had last heard from Hawk. Carmen had called friends, enemies, acquaintances, anyone who could’ve known where he was. She even called the hospital to see if he was injured. She would check her phone every 10 minutes and have the TV constantly on for hopes that she would learn what became of him.

She had come up with many different scenarios about what happened to him. At first she thought that maybe he stopped to see his friend after his successful endeavor and that’s why he was late. Then she started worrying that maybe he got caught and they arrested him. But if they did wouldn’t the news report on it?

The first night while she was tossing and turning, unable to get any sleep, she got chills thinking that maybe that lousy old man killed him to protect his home and money and hid him somewhere. She fell asleep just as the sun rose, sobbing hard and feeling hopeless.

The second day anger got the best of her and she was walking around the house like a wild animal trapped in a cage. What if he took the money and left her? Maybe that’s what his plan. Maybe he was pretending to be jealous to cover up his infidelity. Maybe he stole the money and left for another country with his side chick.

She screamed in frustration and threw his favorite coffee cup on the wall. She opened the drawers and grabbed his clothes. She took a pair of scissors and cut his shirts in half and then ripped them to pieces. She kept going until she was exhausted.

She had run out of energy, she had run out of anger, she had run out of hope. She broke down and started wailing, harder and harder as time passed by. Tomorrow was New Year’s Eve. They were supposed to spend it together. They were supposed to spend their cut of the money in all the things they wanted and drink something other than cheap wine for a change. All her dreams were starting to shatter.

She lied in bed for the rest of the day, no emotion on her face, just looking at the ceiling and drowning out a sob every now and then. When the night came, she finally fell asleep, exhausted from all the sorrow and the pain.

The third day she was woken up by a woman’s voice coming from the TV.

“3 days ago a man was admitted to the hospital. He was hit by a car and suffered moderately severe injuries and a concussion. Doctors and nurses were ordered to keep quiet and they were not allowed to reveal any piece of information about his identity to any person not directly linked to his care. However, an inside source confirmed that the mystery man is actually Mars Rivers, the son of the deceased businessman Jim Rivers, who owns most of the businesses our local shopping mall. Mars has stayed out of the public eye since his father’s passing 14 years ago and has lived his life in anonymity”.

Carmen jumped out of bed and ran in front of the TV.

“At first it was believed that doctors were so secretive because of the patient’s prestigious status but our sources have confirmed that the real reason was Rivers’s mental status. Medical staff seem to believe that he is not in his right mind. He currently has no touch with reality and seems to have suffered memory loss.”

She let out a gasp and went to grab her coat, while not breaking eye contact with the news presenter in the screen beside her. She opened the door and sprinted to her car. The woman in the TV was still speaking about Mars when Carmen was racing to the hospital.

“This is not the most bizarre part of the story though. Authorities say that Rivers has a striking resemblance with a petty criminal known as Hawk. Not much else is known and this curious case is still under investigation.”

***

Carmen ran to the reception desk out of breath.

-Where is Mars Rivers? Which room?

The reception lady looked at her suspiciously.

-Sorry but I am not allowed to tell you this information.

Carmen stood there panting, trying to think of her next move.

-Please, it’s urgent. I really need to speak to him.

The woman looked angrier and colder than before.

-Ma’am I’m going to have to ask you to leave before I call security.

Carmen decided to play her last card. He approached her and whispered conspiringly, like she was telling her a secret.

-Most people don’t know this, but I’m his girlfriend. We have been together for a year. Look, I can prove it.

She took a picture of her and Hawk off her wallet and showed the lady. It was them at a party kissing. The lady’s face became softer.

-Please, I am worried sick. I had found a ring under his pillow the day he had his accident. He was about to ask me to marry him, she sobbed.

The receptionist took a deep breath, looked around and gave her a piece of paper.

-That’s where he is, she said as quietly as possible. Security is on lunch break right now so if you go there fast you will be able to see him. And if someone asks, you never saw me, she told her with a motherly smile on her face.

-Thank you, whispered Carmen and gave her a bright smile.

She walked as fast as she could to the room. Like the receptionist said, no one was outside. She opened the door quietly and got inside.

-Mars?

The man lying on the bed didn’t seem to notice her. He had a bandaged head and an empty look in his eyes. She repeated his name once again and this time he looked at her.

-Who is Mars baby? Is there another patient in the room with me?

She recognized Hawk’s voice and her face instantly became brighter. She ran to him and hugged him.

-Be careful, you will hurt me, he laughed.

-I thought you had died, she cried. Are you okay?

-Yeah, just a headache and a broken rib. They’ve been taking care of me. But they’re pretty weird though.

-Why?

-They keep calling me Mars Rivers. I don’t know him. I’m just Hawk.

Carmen stared at him.

- Let me get you some water, you need to stay hydrated.

She walked towards the chair where he had left his glass of water. As she picked it up her eyes fell on his patient chart. Apart from his physical injuries there was one more note.

“Patient has been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder in his early teens.”

She felt her mouth becoming dry and the lump on her throat unbearable to swallow.

-You don’t remember Mars?

-I don’t want to remember, he frowned.

She caressed his hair.

-It’s better that way. He might have been good, but you are better.